“What’s this for?” James asks when he holds up the present I gave him.
“For being you.”
He’s been having a hard time accepting this new part of his life, and I wanted to brighten up his day.
“I am pretty awesome,” he says, and I cock an amused eyebrow. “Most of the time,” he adds, and I continue to smile at him.
His blue eyes stand out even more as the sun shines onto them, and his blonde hair seems thicker and curlier today.
“You are. I love you, James Oliver Landon. I don’t remember much from before I met you, and I’m glad I don’t. Life is better with you in it, and I hope this small gift is something that can show you how deeply I care about you.”
A tear drops down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. I can tell James is about to cry too, which is why I point at the box, indicating for him to open it.
James opens the gift and pulls out the small canvas with a picture of him and me on the front. We are sitting at a table in a restaurant when he was visiting Los Angeles. It’s a somewhat recent picture, but the reason I chose it is because it represents our relationship. James has whipped cream all over his face, I am laughing, and my hand is resting on top of his. The balance between fun and love is exactly what our friendship is like.
I ordered a bunch of canvases with pictures, a couple of Adrian in his Ferrari Formula One car, some of my friends and me, and one for James. For Gabriel, I ordered a photo canvas of him holding his first trophy in Formula One. He looks so happy in it, it always makes my insides warm.
“Thank you. This is absolutely gorgeous,” James says, and finally, a tear rolls down his cheek. “I love you,” he tells me with his thick English accent.
He flings his arms around my chest, and I wrap mine around his neck.
“Seriously, thank you for giving me this. I’m going to hang it in my bedroom,” he informs me as soon as he sets me down. I grin at him and wipe under his eyes.
“I’m glad you like i—” He cuts me off.
“I don’t like it, I bloody love it.”
James takes the canvas into his hands and stares at it for a couple of moments. He then puts it back down and stares at me.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, a worried expression on his face.
“I’m not okay,” I admit but being able to say it actually feels like a weight lifting off my shoulder. “But what am I supposed to do about it? It’ll be easier to just find something new to do with my life.” James nods before he picks up his blue mug and sips the tea in it.
“If it’s what you want,” he says, and I shrug.
“I think so.” I have no idea.
James wraps his hand around mine, picks it up, presses a small kiss to the back of it, and then puts our intertwined fingers back on the table.
“Where has my Valentina gone?”
His question takes me aback, and for a second, I’m not sure I want to answer it.
“I don’t know. I’m trying to get her back, but with every ‘no’, she drifts further away.” I look past James, taking a deep breath. “I don’t want to be the one to lose every single time,” I say, the last few words coming out in a whisper.
James studies me for a few seconds before he nods.
“I know, darling, but you have to hold onto who you are, okay?” he asks, his gaze shifting to the canvas on the table in front of him.
“I’m not going anywhere, James, I promise.” I wink at him, and he smiles in return. “Anyway, how’s it going with you and Emma? Did you tell her about the baby?” I ask, desperately needing to change the subject.
My heart is aching in my chest, and I feel like throwing up when I talk about racing.
“Oh, yeah, well,” he starts, and I frown.
Something obviously went wrong between the two of them, which is weird since they only started dating a few months ago.
“Turns out she doesn’t like what I do for a living, and naturally, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t support what I do. You should’ve heard her, Val. ‘That is way too dangerous.’ ‘You’re just driving around in circles’,” he imitates her, and I start laughing. “She honestly said all of that to me with a straight face. You should have seen me run out of her house. I was faster than an F1 car.” As I imagine it, I can’t contain my laughter. James is not a sexy runner.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” I tell him, wiping away the tears of laughter.
Another short laugh leaves my throat, and I look at him, the amusement still on my face. He gives me a brilliant smile, and I look at him, confused.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just adore how I can make you smile like this.” I squeeze his hand and bring the most childish grin to my face.
“Like this?” I ask, pointing at my weird expression.
“Yup, like that,” he teases before he pokes my cheek. “Now, get out of here, I have to go train.”
A playful frown spreads over my face, but I gather my stuff and kiss him on the cheek before leaving.
Being back home for good hurts a lot, but it also gives me the chance to find myself and be with the people I love. I spent the whole day yesterday with Adrian, the day before with Gabriel, and before that, I had time to myself. I have to be able to see the positive side of things, especially when the glass seems empty. I’m just going to fill it with my tears, I tell myself and laugh at how ridiculous I am.
The afternoon sun feels like heaven, and I stop walking for a minute to take it all in. I’m sunbathing more often now that I’m home, and I love it.
After another minute of enjoying the warmth of the sun, I keep making my way home. Gabriel and I agreed for him to stay at my place tonight, and he texted me an hour ago, letting me know he’s already there. Giving him a key was a big step for us, but I adore the thought of him waiting for me at home.
I sprint up the stairs, all the way to my bedroom where he is lying at the foot of my bed, sketching something as he listens to music. His eyes light up when he sees the happiness on my face, and I jump onto the mattress next to him.
Gabriel drops his notebook to pull me against him, tickling me until I giggle. His hands move to each side of my head on the bed as I look up at him.
“How was your day with James?” he asks and pushes a strand of hair from my face.
“I’m about to lose my fucking mind!” Adrian screams from downstairs, and Gabriel and I listen to him storm toward my room before knocking on the door like a crazy man. “Are you two decent?” he asks, and I sit up with a groan.
“Yeah, come in,” Gabriel says, and I cock an eyebrow.
“You’re allowing people to come into my room now?” I tease, and Gabriel lets out a small laugh.
“Sorry, chérie, I didn’t know we’re considering Adrian as people.”
My brother interrupts my laughter as he drops down onto my mattress, like I did only a few minutes ago, steam almost coming out of his ears.
“I swear to God, I will strangle that man when I see him on Thursday!” Adrian blurts out without any context, his hands falling onto his chest. “All day I’ve been trying to reach him, but does he fucking answer? No! Of course not! I’m seriously going to lose it.” He mumbles the last sentence, his frustration almost making him growl.
With a smile, I shift around on my bed, placing his head in my lap and massaging his temples.
“Relax, Adrian, everything will be okay. Now, why don’t you tell us what’s weighing on your chest,” I suggest, and he lets out a groan.
“Lorenzo Mattia is a pain in my ass. I’ve been trying to contact him all week to get some answers, but that coward is hiding from me,” he explains, pouting like a little child, who didn’t get what he wanted.
I don’t know whether to laugh at his cute behavior or stop breathing from his words.
“Just let it go, Adrian, there is no point fighting his decision.” My brother shoots into an upward position to grab me by the shoulders.
“I understand you don’t have the strength to keep fighting right now, but you have to let me at least try for you, okay? Let me try,” he says, and I give him a small nod.
“You mean fail? You know, considering you can’t even get a hold of him,” I joke, but he doesn’t even smile.
“I will, and when I do, hellfire is going to rain on him, mark my words!” Adrian announces before strutting out of the room like Hulk when he has to use the stairs instead of the elevator in Endgame.
“That brother of yours—” Gabriel cuts off, letting out a deep breath and shaking his head. “He’s a lot of work,” he adds, and I chuckle in response.
“Hey, at least he waits for permission to enter a room,” I defend, and Gabriel bursts into laughter.
I join him until we’re both lying on our backs, staring at the ceiling of my room. Eventually, he turns my head toward him, bringing my lips closer to his mouth.
“Thank you for the canvas you sent me. It’s beautiful,” he says and presses a soft kiss to my lips.
Everything inside of me summersaults and warms at this small gesture.
“But I don’t like that you spent money on me.”
I kiss him again, ignoring his comment. I will do whatever I want with my money, especially to see his dimple-featured smile.
No price is too high to see it, none ever will be.
