While Wren and my sister laugh out loud as Cyril reappears and splashes water at us, I stare after Ruby, who has become a dark, blurry spot under the surface of the water. At first she fidgeted like crazy, but now she doesn’t move at all.
Something is wrong.
‘If she knew that we already knew about the pretend to be dead, she wouldn’t pull it off,’ Wren says, holding out his hand to Cyril to help him out of the pool.
Ruby still doesn’t show up. Deep down, I know that something is very wrong. My heart is beating like crazy, and I take a run-up.
‘James, I don’t think they’re seriously in need of help—’ I don’t hear the rest of Lydia’s sentence anymore, because I make a head into the water. In long strokes I swim to Ruby, wrap an arm around her upper body and pull her up.
She doesn’t move.
‘Ruby,’ I gasp as we get back to the surface of the water. I shake them. ‘Ruby!’
Suddenly, she flails her arms around. She coughs and struggles for breath, and I hold her tightly pressed against my upper body so that she doesn’t sink again.
She is completely beside herself. ‘Get me out of here,’ she demands shrill. ‘I have to get out of here!’
I nod and swim with her to the edge of the pool. Then I lift them up by the hips and set them down on the edge of the pool. Again she coughs loudly and extensively to get rid of the water she has inhaled in the short time. I pull myself up on the edge and sit down next to her, holding her while she chokes.
‘Take me out of here.’ Her voice is a broken croak that shakes something deep inside me. I straighten up and help Ruby up. She has lowered her gaze, but I can still see the tears that mix with the drops of water on her face. When she stands on both feet again, she tilts to the side. I feel how much she is shaking all over her body and crouch down a bit to lift her up. She doesn’t even protest, but buries her face on my neck so that no one sees that she is crying.
Angrily, I turn to Cyril, who has lost his grin.
‘You shitty wanker,’ I say quietly. I’d rather have screamed it in his face, but I don’t want to scare Ruby.
With her in my arms, I turn around and go outside through the back door in the conservatory.
It takes Percy a while to arrive, but he has towels and a change of clothes with him. Ruby avoids my gaze as I wrap her in several towels and start to dry her. She is still shaking all over. Percy silently hands me another towel, which I spread out on her head. Then I squeeze the water out of her hair. I’m probably exaggerating, but I’ll rub it dry until it doesn’t shake anymore. Even if it lasts all night.
Suddenly, her body is shaken by a silent sobbing. I freeze. It hurts amazingly to watch a person as strong as her cry, and I have no idea what to do. All I can do is dry her off further, stroke her back in gentle circles, and then ask Percy to give me the Maxton Hall sweatshirt he also brought.
‘Can you unbutton your blouse?’ I ask cautiously.
Ruby doesn’t show any sign of hearing me. Since I doubt that she would be able to do anything with her quivering fingers anyway, I pull the sweatshirt over her head without further ado. I pull the fabric down over her torso and then blindly start unbuttoning her blouse. When it is open, I carefully push it off her shoulders and then help her to put her arms through the sleeves of the sweater. I’m just about to put the hood on her, when she raises her hands and clasps my forearms. Her fingers are still ice cold.
The next moment she lets her head sink forward against my chest and takes a deep breath. Her breath is just as shaky as her whole body. I think it’s terrible to experience them like this.
‘It’s all my fault,’ I murmur.
Ruby lifts her head from my chest and looks up at me. Her eyes still shimmer suspiciously, but now I have the impression that she has some control over herself again. She looks like Ruby again. The stubborn, battle-ready Ruby, who doesn’t put up with anyone. A huge stone falls from my heart, and a feeling spreads through my chest that feels heavy and light at the same time.
I turn away from her and unbutton my own shirt to put on the second sweater Percy has brought.
‘Come on, let’s take you home,’ I finally say, holding the door of the Rolls-Royce open for her.
She gets in, and I slide next to her on the bench. As Percy drives off, I let my head sink against the backrest. All of a sudden, the alcohol makes itself felt again, and the world turns a little faster than it should.
Ruby moves next to me, and I give her a quick look. She pulled the sleeves of my blue sweatshirt down to her fingers, so that her hands disappear completely under the fabric. The need to reach for it overwhelms me. I quickly look away again.
‘I’m terrified of water,’ Ruby whispers into the silence.
I have to pull myself together not to look at her. I think she feels safer if I continue to look out the window and not at her. ‘Why?’
It takes a moment for her to answer. ‘My dad likes to go fishing. He used to take me on his boat, and we spent whole weekends together on different lakes. When I was eight, we had an accident.’
Her body tenses up next to mine, and I feel that she must be stuck in a terrible memory. Her breath falters. Now I reach for her hand and grasp the fabric over it with my fingers.
She feels small and fragile, but I’m sure Ruby is the exact opposite of fragile.
‘What happened?’
‘We were rammed by a larger boat that didn’t see us. Ours was completely destroyed, and my dad hit hard. His head has been overstretched, and a vertebra has been smashed.’
I squeeze her hand briefly.
‘He’s been in a wheelchair ever since. And I’m terrified of water,’ she ends quickly.
I think there’s a lot more to the story, but I don’t dig deeper. What she told me is enough to get an idea of what must have been going on inside her mind when Cyril dragged her into the pool with him.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say, feeling totally stupid at the same time. She just shared one of her most traumatic experiences with me, and the only thing I can say is a lame apology.
‘It’s okay. You’re not like your friends.’ Her hand appears under the sweatshirt, and carefully she feels for mine. I interlace our fingers and hesitantly run my thumb over the back of her hand.
‘That’s not true,’ I murmur, shaking my head. ‘I’m just like my friends. Worse, in fact.’
She shakes her head almost imperceptibly. ‘You’re not right now.’
For the rest of the journey, we sink into consensual silence as I ponder what she has just confided in me. Ruby dozes off at some point, and her head slides onto my shoulder. Her hand doesn’t let go of mine for a second, and thoughtfully I run my thumb over her skin, which fortunately is warm again by now.
After twenty minutes we arrive at Ruby’s home. Inside the light is still on, and I should actually wake her up. But I can’t bring myself to do that yet, not when she looks so peaceful.
‘She’s a sweet girl, Mr. Beaufort,’ Percy’s voice suddenly sounds through the loudspeaker above my head. I look ahead, even though the partition wall is raised. ‘Don’t mess it up.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ I answer.
But I don’t let go of Ruby’s hand.
