By the time we made it to the village we were staying in for the night, I was well and truly exhausted, both physically and mentally.
My mind ran on a continuous loop from wondering if Theo had felt the same things I did in that smuggler’s den to telling myself I didn’t care. Then it returned to the Summit, and I had to wonder if any of this mattered in the long run, anyway.
Once we reached the edge of the village, we pulled up to a farmhouse that was built into the side of a hill. One of the guards knocked on the door, saying something in Socairan before looking back toward us.
The man nodded and within a few moments, a family was exiting the house. The father bowed toward Iiro, who nodded in return, while the mother herded her two teenage sons and two small daughters toward their wagon, fatigue in every step.
An honor to house their duke, indeed.
Watching them niggled at something in the back of my mind, but before I could ponder that, the guards and footmen ushered us inside. They kept an eye on the horizon and their hands on their weapons.
“They seem more vigilant than usual tonight,” I murmured on our way in.
“We’re nearing the edge of Clan Elk’s territory. Tomorrow, we will be on Viper lands.” It was Iiro who answered, unsurprisingly. Theo had barely spoken all day.
A welcoming fire was already lit in the hearth of the cozy main room, and a half-empty pot of stew was simmering just above it. My mouth watered. We had a meal of hard bread and cheese with a variety of salted, dried meats earlier, but whatever was cooking there now smelled much better.
We sat at the rustic wooden table, as one of the footmen scavenged for bowls in the small kitchen and poured each of us a serving of the stew. The dishes in the sink were enough for me to see that we hadn’t just stolen the family who lived here’s dinner. Though we were taking whatever was left over.
That hardly seemed to matter to the duke and his family, though. They ate their meals, seemingly without a second thought. It was better than letting it go to waste, at least, so I took my helping, too.
“Aren’t Viper your allies?” I picked up my line of questioning once everyone was settled in.
“They are,” Iiro nodded. “but the Unclanned roam close to the borders.”
I shuddered at the memory of the sinister man from the first village, focusing on my stew instead.
The scent of warm, salted potatoes with strips of tender beef and carrots wafted up from my bowl. There were also bits of onion, tomatoes and peppers in the thick, delicious-smelling broth.
“It is called kavardak.” Theo finally spoke, still staring down at his bowl.
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if he saw me. “Shall I use the big spoon, then?” I tried for humor, and the corner of his mouth twitched in response before he went stoic again.
Of course.
I was scraping my bowl with some hard bread from the table when Iiro barked a few orders in Socairan to the guards. Theo’s shoulders stiffened in response to whatever he had said, his knuckles going white around the handle of his spoon.
After a beat, Iiro turned to face the two of us.
If I hadn’t known any better, I could have mistaken the look on his face for something akin to amusement.
But there was nothing funny about his next words. “Inessa and I will take one room, and the two of you will share again.”
I nearly choked on my bread, though I should have seen this coming.
“Unless you would prefer a different guard sleeping in your room?” Iiro pressed.
Swallowing my bite, I forced a polite expression to my face.
“I’m hardly likely to escape when you have Davin at your estate and I have quite literally nowhere to go,” I argued more calmly than I felt. “If you see the need for a guard, however, why not station one outside the door?”
I wasn’t sure why I was pushing, except that the idea of being alone in a room with Theo after last night felt unspeakably awkward.
“Because then we would need two as there is also a window, and we are low on guards as it is,” he said in the impatient tone of a man not accustomed to explaining himself. “What exactly is your objection to Theo staying in your room? Surely you aren’t claiming propriety at this point?”
I sucked in an offended breath, but before I could respond, Iiro led Inessa into one of the rooms and shut the door behind them.
Clearing the annoyance from my throat, I shot Theo a questioning look, but his features remained stoic. “I know my brother has a pointed way of expressing himself, but it really isn’t safe, Rowan.”
When I didn’t respond, he disappeared into the room that had been indicated. Instead of following him, I went directly to the privy, taking a moment to collect myself.
I had been unfazed before, when I was having fun getting a rise out of Theo. How had one kiss thrown me off so badly?
Sure, it was a really, really good kiss, but I wasn’t this person. I wasn’t this awkward girl who let a boy dictate how comfortable I felt in a room. Not even a boy with soft lips and chiseled abs…
Squaring my shoulders, I finished my time in the privy and decided that I would march into that room and not feel an ounce of discomfort.
I felt confident that I was capable of doing just that until I walked in on a shirtless Theo, the outline of his torso drawing my gaze like a beacon in the night.
Stars.
He froze, his half-folded tunic in his arms, still facing the wall.
“What happened this morning, can’t happen again,” he said in a decisive, cold tone.
I agreed, obviously.
So why does it feel like he just punched me in the face?
“Of course not.” Did my voice sound as definitive as his had? “It was a mistake.”
He met my eyes, the heat in them belying everything we both were saying. “Good.”
“Good.” I echoed. I shouldn’t want to kiss him again. I shouldn’t want anything to do with him. He was a never-ending cycle of hot and cold with no in between.
He swallowed hard, his eyes not leaving my face, as if he were reading something there that he shouldn’t be. As if my thoughts were as evident as his.
Then he closed the distance between us in two quick strides, wrapping one hand around my waist and the other at the back of my neck. I stood up on my tiptoes, needing to soak in his warmth and closeness.
My life these days was like the storm had been, wild and unpredictable and endlessly destructive, but Theo was solid, steady, a mountain to shield me from my own hurricane winds.
He picked me up like he needed the proximity as much as I did, crushing me against him. Our lips crashed into each other’s again and again in a desperate frenzy. What little resolve I had mustered evaporated.
Who was I kidding?
This may just be another in a long list of my mistakes, but stars help me, I would make it again and again.
