By the time we made it back to our camp, it was as if the day’s proceedings hadn’t occurred at all, at least not for the people strolling down the roadways in their finest clothes.
Then again, the Summit hadn’t been assembled to determine their lives, only mine.
I rubbed my temples, trying not to dwell on the things I couldn’t change. I had never been that person, and starting now just felt…masochistic.
Although, it had been a long day of the clan dukes talking about my death like it held no more weight or importance than last night’s dessert.
I could practically hear Davin’s running commentary in my head, telling me that it was still better than day four in the caves. And he wouldn’t have been wrong. At least at the Summit there was food and Theo to comfort myself with.
Taking a glance around, I watched families and friends gather around the cookfires of each camp. A pang of longing went through me.
I had never been away from my entire family like this. Always, my parents or my sister or one of my cousins or many aunts and uncles, someone was with me. Usually, it was me and Davin. My sister and I were close, but Davin was my best friend.
And now I was here, as close to being alone as I ever had been.
If it weren’t for Theo and Mila, would I have sunken entirely into despair, like Avani did?
Physically shaking those thoughts away, I took a deep breath. There was no use worrying about what I couldn’t change, and I’d be damned if I spent my last few days of life thinking about death.
I tilted my head, looking up at Theo next to me, admiring the way his lips moved whenever he spoke. It was hard to believe I had only met him a week ago. In his dungeons.
Theo arched an eyebrow in question, and I breathed out a small laugh.
“I was just thinking about the first time we met.”
“The first time you remember? Or our real first meeting, where you threw up all over my boots?”
I barked out a laugh, but stopped when I saw his serious expression.
“You’re joking,” I began. “That didn’t happen.” I suddenly felt very unsure of that statement.
Theo shrugged, then shook his head. “Unfortunately, I am not.”
I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand.
“Before the soldiers could drug you, you cursed at me and vomited all over me.”
My head was shaking, but I couldn’t stop laughing.
“You lie. You’re just trying to cheer me up.”
Theo held up a hand in sincerity and shook his head. “It was actually quite impressive. It was as if you were aiming for me. Like you already knew who I was,” Theo added with a wry chuckle.
“Well, that does sound like something I would do,” I acknowledged. “No wonder you were so taken with me. How could you resist such charm?”
“Ah, yes. It was quite the struggle,” he said before stopping and tilting his head to the side, looking at me in question. “What sort of person feels better when they find out they threw up on someone?”
“The sort that feels like you had it coming. You were in the middle of trying to drug and arrest me, after all.”
Theo laughed then, his deep voice warming me all the way down to my toes.
“Why did you drug us? Did you and your men truly quake with fear at the clear display of strength Davin and I presented? Were you afraid my hair would slither out and curse you?” I asked.
Theo rolled his eyes. “If you had been spies, we couldn’t very well have shown you the quickest route back to our estate. That would have been too easy.”
“Fair enough.” I shrugged.
We strode into the tent to find a whispering Iiro and Inessa.
They were sitting at the table in the middle of the open center room, their eyes snapping up to meet ours as soon as we entered. Our laughter died, and Theo stiffened beside me, the somber mood effectively dousing the happier one we had created for ourselves.
I darted a confused glance between the brothers as Iiro nodded toward the exit in a way that clearly meant he wanted Theo to follow.
“I’ll be back,” Theo promised. “I believe I owe you another dance tonight.”
With that, he gave my hand a small squeeze before following Iiro back outside. A sinking feeling filled the pit of my stomach as I watched him leave, and I sighed. It was easier not to allow my mind to wander and overwhelm me when he was here.
I turned back around to speak to Inessa when my eyes snagged on a stunning gown that I had missed before. Hanging on the dressing partition, it looked like liquid sapphires.
Silver thread was woven throughout the gown, accenting the deepest shade of blue, lending the gown a sparkling quality. There were shoes and a headpiece to match, but instead of a hat with a veil that would cover my hair, this one was a shining band that sat up high like one of my tiaras back home.
My eyes roved over the fabric and back to Inessa.
“Lady Mila brought that over for you for the dance tonight,” she said, standing to reveal her own shimmering emerald-and-gold gown.
While the colors and brocaded fabric were eye-catching, I mentally thanked Mila for being kind enough to provide me with anything other than the high-necked layers of fabric that Inessa’s mother had provided for her.
“It’s beautiful,” I said as she ushered me behind the partition to change. “But, isn’t it a little ridiculous that we’re expected to dance after a day of deliberating over my life?”
Inessa’s fingers froze in the middle of undoing the laces of my dress, and I felt more than heard the long exhale she let out.
Well done. You’ve offended her again.
I was torn somewhere between being furious at having to play the part of a dancing marionette for all the men who literally debated dismembering me today, and feeling irritated that I could never seem to go long without saying something offensive to someone.
But before I could settle on either feeling, Inessa’s fingers moved again and she was already speaking.
“Our people love to dance,” she began, her voice quieter than normal. “When the monarchy reigned, they would hold grand balls every season, and it was a mark of dishonor not to attend.”
I stepped out of my dress and she set it to the side, handing me a bowl and cloth to clean up with as she continued.
“They mean a great deal to our people.” Her tone was quiet, but edged with steel.
I nodded, and she finished helping me in silence.
When we emerged into the main room where Theo and Iiro had returned, I finally asked the question I had been chewing on. “The people seem to have suffered so much without the monarchy. Why are they so reluctant to put it back together?”
“Aside from the belief that the Obsidian Throne is cursed?” Iiro raised an eyebrow. “Because they can’t decide who they want to lead. Clan Elk is the closest blood relation to the throne. Our mother was the first cousin of the late queen, but Clan Bear believes that their size and brute strength affords them a claim as well.”
“That’s why it’s so important to form alliances,” I mused aloud.
And for me to come here, to do this with full transparency. Not only would they have risked losing their allies, but having met Lord Evander, I had no doubt that Clan Bear was cruel enough to retaliate for any perceived slight.
They had gone to war for their pride once already.
I still had no desire to be the sacrificial lamb for the peace of their clans, but I couldn’t deny that I understood their predicament a bit better now, the one that I had put them in.
By showing up, a Lochlannian royal breaking their laws, I had forced them to either risk war from their fellow clans by keeping my presence a secret, or risk war on all of Socair if the Summit decided to kill me.
Either way, blood would be shed. Because of me.
