It was a long, tense walk back to our rooms.
Theodore had left dinner a few minutes early, asking one of the guards to escort Davin and me back. We had left not long after, the oppression of Davin’s fury and my forthcoming judgment at the Summit proving to be even less pleasant company than Sir Iiro was.
Davin wordlessly entered his room and I headed for mine, but Lord Theodore’s hesitant voice reached me just as I placed a hand on my door handle.
“Princess.”
I paused, not especially in the mood for his thinly veiled pretension. My head was throbbing from the events of the day and the substantial weight of my hair piled up on top of it.
Having little choice, though, I turned slowly to face Theodore, trying to rein in my maelstrom of emotions.
“Your things.” He thrust a satchel into my arms.
My satchel.
I took the bundle from him, noting that it was only half of what I had been missing when I woke up, not including the vodka. “Where is my sword?”
“We protect our women in Socair.” There was a clear implication that the men of Lochlann were lacking. “They have no need to wear weapons.”
“So all the big strong men will fall all over themselves protecting me if the Summit decides to kill me?”
“If the Summit decides to put you to death, one sword won’t be enough to change things.” He spoke with no malice, but his matter-of-fact tone was worse, somehow.
I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden panic threatening to overtake me. “Is this really the only way? Can’t you just…quietly let us go?” It was as close to pleading as I had come, as close as I would come, but when I opened my eyes, he was shaking his head.
“The other clans would find out, and there would be blood in the streets. My brother has already been lenient with you,” he added, somewhat defensively, with a glance toward Davin’s door. “There will be a fair trial.”
I knew I was pushing my luck after what Iiro was doing for my cousin, but my mouth hadn’t yet caught up with my brain.
“I would hardly call a council of people who hate me and refuse to give me the chance to speak on my own behalf a trial, let alone a fair one,” I scoffed, bitterness lacing my tone.
“What exactly did you expect to happen when you came here?” There was a trace of exasperation in his voice, enough to have my spine stiffening.
But his question was valid. What had I expected?
Was I really surprised that death was on the table when the Socairans hated us? No. I had known that was a possibility from the moment the tunnel caved in.
Maybe the problem was that I had expected the Socairans to feel a lot more like enemies than they did right now. I hadn’t expected to have a meal with them, to talk to them or tease them.
I hadn’t expected to understand them, and somehow, that was worse.
“I don’t know,” I answered him at last, opening the door to my room and stepping inside. “Not this.”
This time, I expected the knock on the door.
I was halfway across the floor before the familiar tap-tap-tap was even finished. I opened the door to find Davin on the other side, just like I knew he would be.
“You can’t do this.” He pushed into my room, shutting the door behind him.
It was a mark of how upset he was that he didn’t comment on the frilly, ruffled, high-necked monstrosity of a nightgown Venla had shoved me into.
“I can, and I have,” I countered. I had spent the entire half hour Venla was pulling pins out of hair preparing for this conversation, so my voice was a calm contrast to the uncharacteristic heat in his. “I should never have dragged you into this.”
“This is ridiculous. We have been in that tunnel a dozen times, and I have arranged at least half of them. I am no less culpable than you are, and you know it.”
I let out a long, slow breath. “Be that as it may, they already knew who I was. There is no getting out of this for me, but what would be ridiculous is for us both to go when only one of us has to.”
Davin scowled. “Look me in the eye and tell me that if the tables were turned, you would let me go alone.”
“If the tables were turned, I would know you wanted someone to tell our families what happened! The Socairans could kill us and never breathe a word of it, and our parents would never know what became of us.” My voice broke. “I did this for all of our sakes.”
“I’m not going home, though. I’m just here as leverage.”
“Better leverage than dead,” I shot back.
He got quiet then, and I took advantage of his silence to press a different point.
“There’s still a vote, and you said yourself they have more to gain by keeping us alive. That’s true. But if the worst does happen, there’s no reason for our families to suffer both our losses, for your mother to suffer the way mine did when she lost her only son.” I let that linger in the air before adding, “The way we all did when we lost Mac.”
The name came out a whisper, and Davin winced. In the months since my sister’s husband had died, we rarely mentioned him. He had been a part of our family since before I was born, and his death had taken a toll on every one of us.
Davin knew as well as I did that our families couldn’t withstand one more, let alone two.
There was a stilted pause. “That’s a low blow.”
“It’s the truth, though.”
Davin deflated, like the fight had completely left him.
“I hate this,” he said, running a hand through his hair.
“I know.”
Crossing to the small cream-colored sofa by the window, he sank down with a sigh and made himself comfortable. When I raised my eyebrow, he shrugged.
“I’m not going to leave you without protection.” There was a forced lightness to his tone, and I responded in kind.
“You didn’t want to spend any more time alone, you mean.”
In spite of being an only child, he never had gotten used to being solitary.
“Please,” he scoffed. “Like I spent this afternoon alone.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “I hope you’re joking, since we’re already in enough trouble.”
“Then let’s say yes. Speaking of being in enough trouble, are you sure you don’t want to try making a run for it?”
Shaking my head, I walked to the decanter on my side table, which I had been amused to discover was vodka.
If Theo possessed a sense of humor, I would think he had sent it up as a joke, but it was probably just standard courtesy. Still, I wasn’t complaining.
“You mean since we have so many friends here and I blend in so well with the Socairans?” I filled up both golden goblets, handing him his.
“Damn that cursed hair of yours.”
I groaned, sitting next to him. “Who told you about that?”
“The lady friend I most definitely did not have in my room earlier. She practically inspected my roots before she would consent to keep me company.”
“I see,” I said, shaking my head. “Well, regardless, we have little hope of help amongst the clans. No food. No supplies. Very little gold. Besides which, the pass is closed, so we have no way home, unless you want to take our chances on the tunnel again.”
“I think I’d rather us both face the dubious justice of the Socairans than set foot in that stars-blasted tunnel ever again, certainly not just to starve to death when we reach the other side.” He took a sip of his drink.
I raised my glass in salute. “Dubious justice of the Socairans, it is.”
