I take my time in the shower, allowing the hot water to seep into my aching body and ease some of the tension in my muscles. Having Tommy nearby makes it hard to breathe, and each time he leaves is like coming down from a drug-induced high.
I’m careful to avoid the mirror as I dry myself and then make my way into my bedroom to change into something fluffy and comfortable. It’s only been me since the day I moved to Chicago, which means I’ve never had to care what anyone thinks about what I’m wearing or being sexy or whatever. So, I tug on my bear pajamas that should have been thrown out two years ago and wrap my arms around my center. The soft material is comforting despite how manic my mind is right now.
Every word that came out of Tommy’s mouth was insanity, but I shouldn’t be surprised given how crazy he is. He’s never pretended to be anything he’s not, and perhaps that’s part of the problem. I have. I’ve been playing a part since I escaped Florida. Since I ran as fast and as far as I could afford.
I had two choices that day. Be everything my parents taught me to be, but do it with freedom. Or reinvent myself into the woman I always knew I was deep down but never had the opportunity to be. I chose the latter and I’ve never looked back, but sometimes doubts creep in. What if all the people in my life realize I’m a fraud?
I turn toward the bed with the intention of lying down for a few minutes. I have a million things to do before I officially start my new role on Monday, but I need a few minutes to breathe before I can jump into doing anything.
It’s not until I tug the blankets away from the pillows that something falls to the hardwood floor. Out of instinct, I bend to pick it up but almost immediately drop it again as if the sheet of paper burns my fingers. I’d recognize that handwriting anywhere, but that means…
They’ve found me.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
The words are scrawled across the page messily, making my stomach revolt with each breath I drag in. It was only a matter of time. Of course I know that. But I’d hoped that day was further away. I didn’t really intend to work for a family like the Saint James’, and I certainly never expected to have any kind of profile, but I should have known the more time I spent with Wynter, the more chance it would lead to my own demise.
I look around the room frantically, but everything else is where I left it this morning. At least one of my family members was here. This means not only do they know where I live, but they also know how to get into my space, and that makes me fall to my knees with a heavy thud.
Panic erupts through every fiber of my being. Do I run? Should I tell someone? Do I pretend this hasn’t happened and hope they get bored? None of those things is a good option, but I’m going to have to choose one of them because the only other option is to go back to the family that almost killed me for their own gain, and is that really an option at all?
I should have something to eat to settle the nausea rolling over me, but instead, I crawl into bed and wrap myself in the thick blankets. Maybe if I just let myself rest for a while, things will become clearer. Maybe the answer will come to me.
