Rennick stood and stepped out of the water without a word.
Finn. Amelia thought Nick was Finn all those years, and it was Nick she’d cried out for today, even though he’d asked her not to call him that and explained why.
All those times he stroked himself to her building pleasure, she’d pictured another man. She had no way of knowing what he looked like, but to picture his best friend, or worse, Gilpin, was a punch to his heart and pride.
Water sloshed around with Amelia’s movements as she tried to scramble out of the bath. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t him; I swear.”
“Stop,” he rasped from the doorway.
The blame wasn’t hers—how could it be? But the last thing he wanted to hear after confessing his love was a name she associated with another man’s image.
Her gaze burned into his back, but he couldn’t face her. Not now. This felt worse than when she’d fucked another man.
People said things in the heat of the moment, and he couldn’t fault her for that, no matter how much it hurt, but he needed a moment alone.
Silently, he pulled on his training gear, laced up his boots, and left, trying to ignore the fact that she didn’t stop him.
An insurmountable pile of guilt pressed down on Amelia like a lead blanket. He’d asked her not to use his alias. So even though to her Nick was Rennick now, and it was an honest slip up, the look on his face told her intent didn’t matter.
The impact had devastated him.
He’d told her he loved her, and she broke his heart and let him walk away.
There had to be a way to make it right.
An hour of wearing a hole in the rug of the sitting room had her shoulders tight with stress, and a knock at the door made her heart leap into her throat.
Rennick?
She sprinted across the room and threw open the door to find a pair of startled brown eyes staring back at her. A young maid stood beside a cart of food, and Amelia moved aside to let her in with a disappointed smile.
Dinner, she realized, remembering Ora’s words from earlier. “I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”
Had Rennick met Ora for dinner without her? If he had, she would return to the Human Kingdom. Amelia would not fight another woman for her mate’s attention.
The thought of being by herself made her feel worse, so when the maid tried to leave, Amelia blocked her path. “Will you stay?”
“Yes, Miss,” the maid replied instantly with a small curtsey.
Amelia scrunched her nose. “Don’t do that. I’m not royalty.”
The girl seemed to war with herself for a moment. “We were instructed to treat you as we would a noble guest, Miss.”
“I’m Amelia,” she said, waving off Rennick’s orders. “Stop calling me Miss and please don’t curtsey again.”
The maid took Amelia’s outstretched hand. “I’m Fawn.”
“You don’t have to stay,” Amelia amended, realizing her request may have come off as an order. “I won’t be offended.”
Fawn shrugged and plopped down at the table across from where Amelia took a seat. “This was my last stop of the day.” Her eyes lingered on Amelia’s now exposed ears.
“I’m from the winter region of the Human Kingdom,” Amelia told her with a wry smile. “Bet you feel silly for curtsying now.”
Fawn pushed her hair behind her own human ear and smiled back when Amelia’s eyes rounded. “I’m half fae. My mother fell in love with a fae man from here.”
“How did they meet?” There were plenty of romance books about humans and fae, star-crossed lovers who beat the odds. She wanted to know how it played out in real life. For her own sake, she hoped well.
“My mother’s family owned a farm, and my grandfather delivered fresh produce to the Mountain Kingdom. My father owned a produce stand here, and one day, my mother accompanied my grandfather on a delivery.” Fawn fiddled with the tablecloth, her eyes distant. “I was born in the Human Kingdom, but right before I turned fourteen, they decided to raise me here. My ears are round, and for all intents and purposes, I was human.”
Amelia leaned forward, intrigued. “Was?”
“When I was twelve, I came to stay with my grandparents in the Mountain Kingdom for a few weeks while my parents traveled on an anniversary trip. Ever since then, I’ve had weak fae magic.” She chuckled. “About a year or so later, I was at school and had wished I could knock a boy’s teeth out for teasing me, and everyone started screaming when he smiled. I didn’t get it because he looked fine to me, but apparently, I’d glamoured him to be toothless.”
Amelia clapped as she laughed. She’d have given anything to see that. “Did they realize it was you?”
Fawn’s grin faded. “Yes. The teachers were nice about it, but my parents moved us here the next week. They didn’t want anyone fearing me. My father said fear makes people dangerous.” The faraway look in Fawn’s eyes vanished, and a mask of indifference slipped into place. “My parents were killed in a rebel attack a month later.”
Amelia recalled Rennick’s mentions of rebels. “Are there a lot of rebel attacks?”
“The attack that killed my parents had a lot of casualties, but it was a rare occurrence at the time. About five or so years ago, they’d become commonplace.” She smoothed her skirt and lifted a slim shoulder. “The last attack was three years ago, then the king and his father killed or captured them all… that we know of.”
Fawn hid her emotions better than anyone Amelia had ever met. She’d delivered the information with a convincing air of nonchalance.
“Don’t,” Fawn said sharply when Amelia opened her mouth to give her condolences. “I don’t need pity or to be treated like I’ll break.”
Amelia sat back in her chair. “I don’t pity you, but I do understand what it’s like to have no parents.” Fawn gave her a questioning look. “I grew up in an orphanage, and I didn’t have to go through the pain of loving them and losing them like you did, but I am familiar with the pitying stares. I assure you, pitying you is not on my agenda,” she leaned forward again, “but I do empathize.”
Fawn laughed humorlessly. “Who’d have thought two orphans with human ears would be dining in a fae king’s rooms?”
Amelia snorted. “I’m dining. You’re staring at me.” She waved her fork at the cart. “Eat before I order you to.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Can I order people around?”
Rolling her eyes, Fawn reached for a plate and filled it with steamed vegetables and a giant turkey leg bigger than her head. “Yes, Miss.”
Amelia smiled and ripped off a piece of roll to dunk into her gravy. “Are you married?”
Fawn choked, spewing her water across the table and misting the pretty candles that flickered between them. “I’m only twenty-six!”
“In the Human Kingdom, you’ve been an adult since you were eighteen,” Amelia pointed out. “Are the laws the same here?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to settle down yet, if ever. Men are worthless.” Fawn’s knuckles turned white around her fork.
Amelia cocked an eyebrow. “Spill it. What asshole broke your heart?”
The poor carrots on Fawn’s plate didn’t stand a chance against her stabbing assault. “We’ve had enough sob stories for today. Tell me why you’re really in the palace,” she gestured around them, “staying in the king’s rooms.”
Setting her silverware down, Amelia leaned her elbows on the table. “What does everyone think I’m doing here?” The vegetable assault halted. “Say it.”
“Some think you’re the king’s whore, but a few think you’re his mate, since he’s never brought another woman to the palace,” Fawn answered carefully. “No one knows you’re human, though. That was a surprise.”
Wrinkling her nose, Amelia aggressively ripped off another piece of bread. “Why would they think I’m his whore if he’s never brought anyone to the palace?”
“Those who don’t believe Ora is his mate think he’s given up on finding her since he’s not yet married.”
“They think Ora is his mate?” The thundercloud following her around turned positively black.
“Only because they have the same birthday and she leads everyone to believe she is.”
They have the same birthday? What did that have to do with anything?
Amelia sighed, touching her ear lightly. “I’m not allowed to tell anyone who I am.” She held up two fingers on each hand, bending them as she said, “For my protection.” Something told her Fawn was trustworthy, so she added, “If you tell anyone this, Rennick will kill you without hesitation, and I’d rather not lose the only person who’s been nice to me thus far.” The maid looked amused, not scared, and Amelia liked her even more. “I’m his mate.”
Fawn’s jaw dropped. “How?”
Amelia gasped and pointed at her. “You thought I was his whore!”
“I thought you were his mate,” Fawn replied defensively. “Until I saw your ears. I didn’t know it was possible for a fae to have human mates, especially not a royal.”
“I don’t know how it’s possible,” Amelia said, deciding not to be offended, “but he’s written me letters since we were thirteen. His friend, Finn, delivered them.”
“And you’re positive there was no mix up?” Fawn asked.
Amelia decided she was offended, after all. “He can feel my emotions, even when I lived in the Human Kingdom.”
“This is the best news I’ve heard in a while.” Amusement bounced in Fawn’s almond-shaped eyes. “The thought of Miss Ora as queen makes me want to move. She is horrid.”
“I think so too,” Amelia grumbled. “Rennick sent me gifts, and Ora helped him pick them out. They were awful.” She jumped up and dashed to the dressing room, retrieved the baby-shit-green boots, and rushed back, holding them up. “Look at these!”
Fawn’s hand slapped over her mouth to suppress her laughter, but the crinkling beside her eyes gave her away.
Amelia deposited the boots on the floor and sat down with a groan. “You should see the dresses. I knew she couldn’t be as wonderful as he made her out to be.”
“She treats the staff like servants when the king isn’t around,” Fawn informed bitterly. “Yet, if he is present, she’s so sweet you’d think she shits cupcakes. Everyone hates her, but no one dares say a word about the king’s best friend.”
“Best friend?” Amelia clenched her fists. “I thought Finn was his best friend.”
Fawn pressed her lips together, her face full of sympathy. “They both are.”
Amelia pushed down the emotion building in her throat. “He called her princess and told her I was just a friend.”
Fawn looked indignant on her behalf. “Why?”
Amelia sagged against the back of her chair, but Fawn’s hand clasped hers on the table with a reassuring squeeze. “If he brought you here, she is no threat to you. The king I’ve seen is not a deceptive one. He is a good ruler who treats everyone as equals, even his staff. He ensures his people are fed, housed, and supplied with everything they need, despite their financial status.”
Amelia’s heart warmed to hear Rennick’s people speak highly of him, but memories from earlier doused it with ice. “He might have changed his mind about me since this morning.”
Gods, to think she’d traveled to the Mountain Kingdom, met Ora, possibly ruined her relationship with Rennick, and ate dinner with Fawn in just a day.
Fawn stood and gathered their mostly empty plates. “I doubt it. You’re his mate.”
“We were being intimate earlier,” she began, halting Fawn mid stride. “He told me he loved me, and I ruined it.”
Fawn set down the dishes on the cart and looked her way. “You do not love him?”
“I think I do.” Amelia rubbed her forehead, trying to find the right words. “I told myself I couldn’t love someone through letters alone, having never met them.” She sighed. “But in person, he’s the same but more, in the best way.”
Saying it out loud sounded worse.
After Fawn wiped down the table, she took a seat and leaned back. “I don’t think so. You said he’s the same as his letters, and if you fell in love with his letters, it stands to reason you fell in love with the man, too. The more is merely a bonus.” She paused in thought for a moment. “How far would you go to make him happy?”
Without hesitation, Amelia responded, “As far as it takes.”
“Most people don’t do whatever it takes for someone they don’t love,” Fawn said with a tinge of sadness. “You’re thinking too hard about what you should feel instead of what you do feel.”
Amelia nodded, her thoughts eating at her. Her heart physically hurt, and whenever she thought of him, it became hard to breathe. “I hate that he’s somewhere hurting because of me, and I don’t know where to find him to make it right.”
“He’ll be back once he cools off,” Fawn assured her. “It will give you time to think of a plan to make it up to him.”
Amelia hoped she was right.
The next morning, Amelia paced the length of their sitting room, having not heard from Rennick since last night. What if it was too late to fix her mistake?
The green boots mocked her when she stepped into their dressing room. Had he run to Ora yesterday? He’d saved his virginity for Amelia, but what if she’d driven him into another woman’s arms?
“No,” she spoke into the empty room. The man she knew wasn’t so fickle as to run to another woman that quickly.
Pushing her pride aside, she donned the ugly boots, wanting him to see her wear something he gave her, and switched out her current dress for one of the nightmarish ones.
Various trunks lined the open walls, and she opened each one until she procured her bow set. The thought of hunting made her queasy, and while she’d practiced shooting the bow in hopes of impressing him if they ever met, she’d never intended to shoot a living animal.
That would change today. He liked to hunt, and she would ask him to go. She strapped the bow and quiver across her back. Do not puke.
She set off down the hallway in search of someone to help her find Rennick, but after taking what felt like ten turns down various massive hallways, she vowed to obtain a map of the palace as soon as possible. She’d been walking for an hour and had seen no one, as if the floor was completely deserted.
After another turn, she resigned herself to the fact that she’d die of old age in one of these hallways. Thankfully, an older maid with light brown skin and a tight grey bun hurried up a set of stairs Amelia had not seen.
“Excuse me!”
The maid looked up, freezing when she saw Amelia. “Yes, Miss?”
Amelia approached her with a friendly smile and glanced at the stack of linens in the maid’s arms. “I’m sorry to ask because I know you’re busy working, but have you seen King Rennick?”
The woman’s lips pinched together when she took stock of Amelia’s attire. “He is usually in his study in the mornings.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know my way around,” Amelia explained sheepishly. “Would you mind taking me?”
“Of course, Miss. It’s on the main floor.”
Amelia followed the woman through winding halls and down two flights of stairs, asking her questions about herself to pass the time. She went by Birdie, a nickname her father gave her, and she was sixty-four with three children. Her husband worked as a groundskeeper at the palace, and they’d been married for thirty-three years.
By the time they rounded the final corner, Amelia held half of the linens, and they were laughing like old friends. Birdie tipped her head to an open door down the hall. “He’s in there, Miss.”
“I told you to call me Amelia and thank you.”
Her heart raced at the sound of Rennick’s deep voice, even if she couldn’t make out his words. Since their carriage ride in, she’d been trying to suppress her emotions, and she prayed he didn’t feel her anxiety. Calm yourself.
Birdie smiled when Amelia turned to bid her goodbye, but they both stopped when a melodic voice floated down the hall.
The unknown voice said with a giggle, “You’re terrible, Ren.”
Rennick’s deep laugh followed. “No worse than you. Do you have any plans today?”
The linens in Amelia’s hands fell to the ground, and Birdie’s brow lowered, looking between Amelia and the study.
“Are you okay?” the older woman whispered low enough for only them to hear.
“Who is the woman with him?” Amelia whispered back, already knowing the answer.
“That’s Miss Ora.” The sympathy in Birdie’s voice was too much. Did she think Ora was his mate and Amelia was his mistress?
Amelia’s heart that beat nervously moments before shattered, joining the crumpled sheets on the floor. She wanted to disappear, to go home, to do anything but stand in the hall and listen to him with her.
Birdie jumped back, looking around frantically. “What in the world?” Her hand reached out, bumping into Amelia’s shoulder. “Where did you go?”
“What do you mean?” she asked the woman, still staring at the office.
“You’re a royal,” Birdie breathed in awe.
More laughter sounded from Rennick’s study, and Amelia didn’t have time to decipher the maid’s odd claim because everything in her broke. Everything.
A deep grunt sounded from the room, followed by Ora’s sweet voice. “Ren, are you okay?”
Amelia ran.
