I NEEDED A breath of fresh air, and despite it being the start of June, there was still a nip in the air. Thank God. The auditorium was packed, and I needed a moment to myself. The memories of those seventy-three days together were bombarding me. One after another. Small, insignificant moments I hadn’t thought about in ages were bright and clear in my mind’s eye.
I looked out. The sun was starting to set. The sky was ablaze with orange and purple hues. Even the sun setting made me think of him. Of the sunsets we’d shared. Kissing and holding hands in the sand on the California beaches. Whispering sweet good-nights over the phone during the endless phone calls the two years that followed.
Sunsets in different time zones we’d shared.
“Nina.” God, I was so stuck in my head I could swear I heard my name from his lips. I closed my eyes, wondering what that would be like. Having him right behind me, his strong body pressed up close.
“Nina.” A whispered rasp made me open my eyes, and I realized the heat I felt was very real. “Niña linda, turn around and let me see those pretty eyes,” the deep voice ordered, and I didn’t know how I got my body to move, but it did. I turned, and there he was.
Right. Freaking. There.
Tall. A hell of a lot taller than I remembered. Broader shoulders than the last weekend I’d been able to sneak off and see him before his deployment overseas. There was no hiding his lean but muscular frame. Not even the light blue dress shirt and navy slacks he was wearing. And damn, he wore it well.
“Are you real?” I whispered and winced at my stupidity.
“One hundred percent.” He smiled cautiously.
“What are you… How…” I couldn’t say anything else. Not when my nose stung and my eyes blurred.
“I promised you I’d be here.” His voice was confident, and his words undid me. A sob wracked out of me and made me make a weird choking noise before I could cover my face. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I didn’t want this first time to see him be something ridiculously awkward, but I couldn’t get myself under control. Instead of freaking out, Brandon did what Brandon was great at. He took charge.
Without hesitation, like he had done countless times that summer, he pulled me into his body. Warm and smelling like sin and temptation while feeling so freaking familiar and new. His arms wrapped around me, and I couldn’t stop my own arms from wrapping around his narrow waist and letting myself enjoy how he felt. Like home.
His hands stroked my hair, and I held on for dear life.
“I’m fucking proud of you, Nina,” he finally said to the top my head, and I felt his words in my heart. I knew they were sincere. He knew how much today meant to me. “I’m sorry,” he said, and the words clung in the air between us, making it almost impossible to breathe.
“Sorry for?”
“I… I needed to see you today. I needed to see if you were…”
“What?” I looked up. His eyes were serious on me.
“If you were happy. If you were okay.” The tone in his voice killed me, and I couldn’t look at him because he would see. If I was okay. I wanted to pound on his chest and tell him I hadn’t been okay since he broke it off.
“Are you?”
“Bran…”
“I watched you walk out here, and I needed a moment with you,” he admitted, and I sniffled. I let myself enjoy the feel of him for five seconds before I found the strength to pull away. His dark gaze made me dizzy. There was so much in his stare, and I wanted to give it all. That was the problem. I always wanted to give Brandon Chu everything.
“I made a mess of your shirt,” I said, looking at the makeup and tears on his chest. I tried to wipe it away, gain me some time to figure out what the hell to say, but his hand held mine, forcing my eyes to meet his.
“I miss you,” he laid out, and my stupid heart gained hope. Hope that this out-of-nowhere visit meant something. That it was more than just a quick hello.
“Just like that?” The cynical, hurt side of me spoke up as I took a step back and crossed my arms in front of me, realizing I looked like an idiot in a graduation robe the first time I saw him after so long.
“I’ve missed you every single minute since that call.”
“Bullshit,” I croaked out.
“Nee—”
“Are you really doing this now? Today?”
“If not now, when?” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “I miss you. I still love you, and I know it’s out of freaking nowhere, and for all I know, you have someone.”
“I could,” I callously said, feeling the pain in the flinch of his eyes.
“I’m sorry about the last two years…” he said, taking a step closer. His hand on my hip, he leaned down. God, he was tall. I knew it, but how could I have forgotten exactly how tall he was? “Being with you and having that distance between us was so fucking hard.”
“You don’t think it was hard on me?”
“I had to end it for us.”
“That’s asinine,” I clipped.
“We both knew it was going to fall apart, Nina. We weren’t close. Life was keeping us busy and away from each other. Just finding a moment to talk was like pulling teeth. We were going in two different directions.”
“We could have tried,” I stressed, and he shook his head. “Don’t shake your stubborn head at me! We could have fought tooth and nail to make it work. You said, you told me it would only be four years.”
“Baby, we would have stayed together, I would have talked you into marrying me so I would have you next to me.”
“Why didn’t you?” God, how many times had I thought of that? Why hadn’t he just asked me to marry him? I would have given my right arm just to wake up next to him.
“Because that wouldn’t have been fair to you. You needed to finish this first. You needed to get your diploma,” he stressed, running his fingers through his silky dark brown hair. I frowned. I wanted to argue he was wrong, that I wouldn’t have stopped going to school, that I would have finished, but I knew he was right. I would have been at a fork in the road, and I would have wanted to start my life with him. Create a family and make my life about us.
“I hated you,” I whispered almost breathlessly. His hands dropped to his side, slipping into the front pockets of his slacks. “I hated you so much. You broke my heart.” My voice quivered, but I couldn’t stop.
“I know.”
“You don’t. You have no idea. I hated that you just… You never called.” He blurred in front of me. “Not once in the last two years, not once. I didn’t hear one word from you. Not a text or an email. Nothing.”
“I know,” he said, the tortured look on his face engraving itself in my heart.
“I hated how I woke up reaching for you. How I wanted you in my life and you were out living yours without a second thought about me.”
“That’s not true. I thought about you every single day, Nina.”
“I didn’t know that. Your silence spoke volumes. For two years, Brandon.”
“Baby—”
“I hated that as much as I hated our situation, I couldn’t really get myself to stay mad at you. How I couldn’t stop loving you.” I couldn’t stop talking. If this was the only chance I would have to tell him everything I’d gone through, of how I felt, I was going to take it. “I hated how I couldn’t move on. Not really.” I took a deep breath, his eyes studying me quietly as I purged it all out. “And you gotta know I tried, Brandon. I freaking tried, but I couldn’t.”
“Baby.” He took his hands out of his pockets and walked forward. I took one step back, letting him follow my every move.
“I have loved you every single day. Thought about you—” There wasn’t a chance for me to say another word because before I knew it, I was back in his arms, and this time, there wasn’t enough space between us to fit a sheet of paper. Before I could ask what the hell he was doing, his lips were on mine.
Brandon Chu was many things. Strong and sweet. Side-achingly funny when he was on a roll about something that amused him. But he was also an amazing kisser. Kissing Brandon was like getting lost in a pitch-black cloud that suddenly filled up with fireworks. Not just generic pretty, sparkly ones. Bright and colorful ones that made you cling to feeling live. He kissed like his life depended on it, and I kissed him right back.
Brandon
She gasped, and I took my opportunity, swooping my tongue into her mouth as my hand rested on the small of her back. Jesus and Buddha. Nina tasted good. Fucking excellent. My memories didn’t serve her justice.
“Wait. What are you doing?” she panted, pulling away from my lips, ending our kiss earlier than I would have wanted, but I knew I was fucking it all up. I was coming on too strong and moving too fast.
“I have loved you every single day since I saw you on the beach in that yellow fucking bikini.”
“Bran—”
“I never stopped. There hasn’t been anyone since you.”
“What if I moved on?”
“You just told me you didn’t.”
“But if I had?”
“I doubt anyone would ever be like you’re in my heart, Nina Montenegro. I love you. I fucked up. Got tired of waiting, and in trying to do the best thing for us, I screwed it all up. You’re right. I should have stuck it out. But I wanted you to make your dreams come true.”
“We could have done that together,” she repeated as she shook me off her and stepped to the side as she looked out. “My family is in there. I should probably go. My dad wants to take us to dinner.”
“Sushi?”
“How did you know?”
“He likes making his girls happy, and all-you-can eat rolls definitely make all of you smile,” I told her, excluding the fact her dad had clocked me only moments earlier.
“Yeah…. I forgot how well you… I should, umm…” She was rambling. It was cute and endearing and gave me hope that even though two years had passed by, my girl was still who I remembered.
“Go. Right.” I crossed my arms across my chest and clenched my hands into fists so I wouldn’t be tempted to do something even crazier than I already had. Like pull her in and over my shoulder and drag her back to my hotel and show her how much I’d missed her while finding a way to talk her into giving me a second chance with my mouth, fingers, and cock.
“Where are you staying?”
“La Mirada.”
“That’s only about two miles away.”
“I came here for you, Nina. In case I wasn’t clear about that earlier. That’s why I’m here. For you.”
“I still have the same number…” she shared, and my jaw clenched. How many times had I brought her number up on my phone? How many times had I written out a text and deleted it? How many times had I convinced myself she had probably changed her number? “Text me your room number. I’ll stop by after dinner. That okay?”
“Beautiful, I’m not here for a booty call.”
“I didn’t know I was offering one.” Her cheeks flushed, and I knew exactly what she was thinking. What we were both thinking.
A hotel room with the two of us in it. Just like the first time I’d had her.
“You come over, you gotta be sure you can fit me in your life, Nina. For the long run,” I warned, leaning down so I could graze my nose against hers.
“Again, I wasn’t the one to cut you out last time,” she softly reminded me.
“Nina….” She stepped away and ran her fingers through her long hair.
“Text me or not, it’s up to you. But that’s a tonight-only kind of offer. Do you understand? You text and I go over there, and we figure it out. If you don’t text tonight, it’s because this little reunion isn’t what you thought it would be and we really should move on.”
“Nina…”
“I hope I hear from you,” she whispered so softly it made a knot form in my throat. Her hands cupped my clean-shaven face, and she stood on the tips of toes to reach me, giving me a sweet kiss goodbye.
