I’d love to say that having my lady back in my arms felt like I’d never lost her, but I could sense the change that time had caused. It wasn’t a bad thing, but something haunted me, knowing I’d missed so much.
A week ago, I wouldn’t have given a fuck about the time and distance between us. I would’ve just been grateful that this beautiful woman and my son were in my life, and I would do everything in my power to keep them happy until the day I checked out of this life. However, now I was having a strange download of emotions, filling the void I’d never known existed without them in my life.
“Hey, man,” Collin said as he joined me, eating lunch alone in the hospital cafeteria.
“Sup?” I said, bringing my napkin in both hands to brush over my mouth while I swallowed a bite of pizza.
“Jake would kick your ass for eating that pizza, you know?” he laughed, sitting in the chair across the table from me.
He opened a plastic container of fruit, and then my eyes moved to his salad and a plate of chicken and broccoli.
“Jake isn’t my best friend, though,” I rose my eyebrows at the healthy food he arranged in front of him, “and unlike your ass, I’m not looking to fuck him, or impress him, or whatever the hell you’re trying to prove with all of that healthy shit you’re eating.”
Collin laughed as he forked a cherry tomato and popped it in his mouth with his usual shit-eating grin. “Don’t you worry about what Jakey and I have going on behind the scenes,” he shook his head.
Jake was anal about the food we ate, but no one ever argued with him. He was cutting people open and working on hearts all day, and ninety percent of his patients had issues due to their unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits. That was his life. My life and focus were on fixing brains, but I’m sure if I knew there were lifestyle changes we could take to prevent brain tumors, or anything else, I’d ensure everyone I knew took the proper precautions.
“So, Jessa returned with you and left her boy on the yacht, eh?” Collin questioned with a knowing grin. “What happened when you both disappeared for those few afternoon hours during that rainstorm?”
“Nothing,” I shrugged. “We were just catching up and going over details about Jackson’s surgery.”
“Bull-fucking-shit,” Collin said, poking his fork into his fruit bowl. “I’m not an idiot, nor are the rest of us. You walked off from lunch like a little bitch, and Jessa was hot on your heels soon after.” He took another bite of salad, nearly inhaled it, then arched an eyebrow at me, “Do not tell me she felt sorry for your ass and took you back.”
I chuckled, “And if she did?”
“I would probably kick your ass because it was too easy for you. I walked through hell and back—my balls singed by the flames—to get my girl. Jim slept in the lake of fire to get Avery back, and Jake—well, that fucker lived in hell for quite some time, praying for a lifeline to get Ash back. But you?” he waved his fork in circles in front of my face, “nothing.”
I took another bite of pizza and held my hands up, “Maybe because I’m better looking than you assholes?”
“Funny. Now, spill it. What’s up with you two? Is everything cool? Does the kid know you’re his dad?” Collin’s pager went off, and I laughed. “Fuck! I have to go. Goddammit, you’re not getting out of this so easily. Tonight,” he pointed at me, “we’re all going to Darcy’s, and you’ll be there too.”
“Can’t,” I said, standing with him. “Jessa and I are heading out in my Cessna.”
Collin held his tray, his eyes studying mine. “Damn you, Brandt,” he laughed.
“Me?” I said, walking with him to dump our trash in the bin.
“Yeah, you. Always a fucking mystery. It makes me want to kiss you sometimes.”
I rolled my eyes. “Get in line,” I said, laughing and following Collin out of the cafeteria. The rest of the guys knew something was up between Jessa and me, but I wasn’t ready to talk about it or confide in anyone yet.
I just wanted to enjoy this time. Jacks begged his mom for permission to stay aboard the yacht, so we had precious alone time that we wouldn’t have otherwise, and I didn’t want to squander it.
I’d planned to take her on my plane to somewhere unique and special. All I wanted was to hold her and smell the rich fragrance of the floral perfume she wore. Now I was second-guessing the whole plane idea. She’d be in the seat behind me, and I wouldn’t have her eyes to stare into. Her neck to kiss.
I missed her already. I didn’t want to spend another second away from her because I’d wasted too much time already.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jessa said as I rolled up to the private airport. “It’s like you’re trying to get dumped by thumbs-up emoji or something.”
I grinned, bringing the back of her hand to my lips. “Shall we not revisit that damn emoji breakup scenario? I already feel like I’ve sorta got one foot dangling in hell while I’m back with you, if I’m honest.”
Shit! That didn’t come out right.
“Oh?” she laughed and then became quiet when I rolled up in front of the massive private hangar where I kept my airplanes. “I’m sorry. I had no idea that being back together—”
“Not what I meant,” I smoothly cut her off, knowing what she was going to say. I twisted in my seat and placed my hand on her headrest. “It’s just that my previously normal routine at work never consisted of pining away like some bitch all day at work. It took a lot of monumental effort to stay focused and not just think of wanting you in my arms,” I said.
She arched an eyebrow at me. “Nice, try,” she said with a shake of her head. “Jacks tries to lie his way out of saying stupid shit all the time. So, you’ll have to come up with something better than that.”
I met her adorable challenging expression with one of my own. “I’m not bullshitting you. You’ve consumed my thoughts all day. All I’ve thought about was wanting to get the fuck out of there so we could be in this moment now. It’s hell because I have you back in my life, but when I’m away from you, you’re all I can think about. You, of all people, should know that is out of character for me.”
“And you, of all people, should know it’s out of character for me to go flying in some private aircraft.” She exhaled, seeing the blue and white Cessna parked front and center in the hangar. She fanned her hand out in front of her. “Tell me, have I ever given you the impression that I would enjoy flying in an aircraft that most likely has a high death percentage?”
“No,” I shrugged, looking into the hangar, and admiring my favorite aircraft. “However, the Jessa I remember was daring and bold. I wouldn’t think you’d mind it. And they don’t have a high death percentage.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “One death is enough for me. Shit, Cam. I seriously don’t want to do this. I’m already stressed about leaving Jacks on that yacht, knowing I’m lying to him about working. In reality, here I am with his father, whom I haven’t told him about, on some death-wish date. Why can’t we be a normal couple and go get an In-N-Out burger and watch a movie or something?”
I laughed. “God, I love you.” I shook my head, trying to get serious because Jessa could level my ass with a stare alone, and I didn’t want to upset her.
“That’s why we’re going up in a tiny death trap? If I’m honest, what is scaring the shit out of me is seeing that look on your face and knowing that somehow, I’m going to give in.”
“Listen,” I said, remembering there was a good reason I wanted to take her up in the aircraft, “I’m not trying to scare the shit out of you. If you don’t want to go up, we don’t have to. I get that. But I also know that with the difficult decisions coming up, fear is most likely taking over your mind, and I want you to be unafraid, no matter what happens. You can face your fears and have no regrets. You and I can face scary shit together and know that we’re going to be okay.” I looked back at the plane, “besides, I have a feeling you will certainly thank me later for this.”
“You’re not getting laid, and that’s a fact. So,” she opened her door, “if this is a challenge for me, Dr. Brandt, I’ll take it. I’ve thought a lot about Jackson’s surgery today after having time alone for the first time in a while, and yes, it scares me. I can safely say it scares me more than this plane ride.”
“You’ll want to fuck me after this,” I grinned at her. “Who doesn’t find a pilot sexy?”
“Oh, God,” she said dryly and rolled her eyes, prompting me to laugh. She swung her door open with agitation, and I followed. “Isn’t this just lovely?” she said, planting her hands on her hips and staring at me through her dark sunglasses. “Not only am I risking my life by going up in this thing, but I’m going up with a pilot who’s a douche.”
I chuckled. “Trust me, it’s a turn-on,” I said, thinking I’d play with her a little.
“Maybe for some brainless broad who thinks looks and skill make up the qualities of a good man,” she arched an eyebrow at me, holding some sassy pose. “I, on the other hand, am not that woman. It takes a lot more than this shit to impress me.”
I pinched my lips together in humor, “Well, we will just have to see about that, won’t we.”
“Fuck it,” she seethed, and I could hear the trepidation in her voice as she stopped following behind where I walked to the aircraft.
“Stop stopping, gorgeous,” I said, walking toward where I would prep the plane and get her up in the air before she changed her mind and all the plans I’d made for us tonight. “I think you’ll enjoy just being together the next day or two, but I need you to get into this plane.”
“Next two days?” she questioned. “How did you manage that?”
I turned back to her. “Long story short, I have a light workweek. The one surgery I’m most concerned about relates to the woman I love more than anything in this world, and I want to spend some time with her and help her decide with a clearer mindset.”
“So, you just took the week off work?” she questioned.
“No,” I said, “I took the next three days off work. I’ve got a couple of doctors who switch shifts with me all the time. Trust me, I’ve taken on a shitload of extra hours for those chumps. They owe me.”
“Good grief, Cam,” she finally smiled. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”
“Fuck me like I know you will after I take your cute little ass up in this plane,” I taunted her. “Come here, beautiful.” I walked toward her and pulled her into my arms. “If I’m wrong, and you hate me after this is all over, kiss me now, so I at least have that.”
She stepped back, keeping me at arm’s length, “If I enjoy the ride—and that’s a pretty big fucking if—I may or may not kiss you then.” Her face fell again, and she looked at the plane, shaking her head, “I can’t believe I’m even entertaining this shit,” she said to herself. “Just keep us alive. I really do love living life, and I never really saw myself going out in a fucking plane crash.”
“Yeah, we need to get this up in the air,” he said. “The more you keep telling yourself that’s what’s going to happen, the higher the chances are that it will.”
“Let’s just get this over with,” she said.
I couldn’t resist the woman any longer. I took two steps, and Jessa was in my arms before she could react.
This is precisely how I preferred to start this trip. My lady in my arms, her kiss as fierce as mine, on our way to one of the most beautiful places in the state.
