Year Four/Week Ten – Present
“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, keeping up with Jace’s long stride down the hall.
“I just wanted to apologize for Halloween,” he started, glancing over as we walked through the building. “I shouldn’t have called, honestly. I was too drunk to be thinking clearly.”
So none of that mattered, then. The way he held me, the way he looked at me, the things he said.
I kept silent, even though my heart was shattering, yet again.
He stopped in his tracks, halting me with him. I never understood how he did that, how he knew when something bothered me. It was like a sixth sense.
“I remember everything, Blu. I know what I said to you before I left.”
His words banged against my skull. “You’re hurting yourself at this point,” I quoted. “Yeah.”
He shook his head, feeling the bottom fringe of my scarf. It was a small gesture, but intimate all at once. As if he wanted to touch a part of me, but not my skin; just something connected to me, something on my body.
“Do you like me, Blu?”
The cold wind slapped me in the face as he asked the question. It might as well have been his hand.
“No.” Liar.
“Don’t say that.”
“I don’t know you well enough.”
He swallowed. “Because every time you try to, you get afraid. Like, you think I’m some bad person, that I’m going to fuck with you and hurt you or something. We can’t keep doing this dance.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket but I didn’t dare check. “I don’t think you’re a bad person. I never said that.”
“Then why won’t you open up to me? Are we always going to spend time together without actually saying anything? You don’t eat, I’m supposed to pretend I don’t notice. You hide your skin, I’m never supposed to ask why you’re wearing a jacket inside?”
Tears burned my eyes, I think one might have slipped out because his face softened. He flexed his jaw, taking a step forward. His thumb contacted my cheek before I could make a movement, brushing away the sadness that found its way to the surface.
“When you’re ready to talk, I’m here,” he offered, but his eyes were focused on something behind me. “I think someone’s waiting for you.”
Immediately I zipped around, seeing Vince waving at me from behind the college pillar. Fuck. I forgot we had plans. He even reminded me on our walk to class, but I spaced. Every time I was around Jace, I fucking spaced.
Now, more than ever, was the worst time to go. But now, more than ever, I needed to be away from him.
“He was the guy you were with earlier,” Jace stated, like a fact from Wikipedia.
“Yeah, that’s um, Vince from my environmental media class.”
He nodded, saying his name like it was cement on his tongue. “Vince.” His jaw was square and tight as he pressed his lips together and turned around.
“Where are you going?” I asked, knowing damn well his route to the subway was the direction I was walking in.
A ghost of a smile played on his lips as he stopped, facing me, then Vince. “Does he know who I am?”
I shook my head, furrowing my brows. Why the hell would he know Jace? For what purpose?
“Well,” he wiggled his fingers into a wave, aimed directly at Vince, then met my eyes with intensity. “I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough.”
And with that last comment, Jace was gone.
