Year Four/Week Thirteen – Present
Bryce and I met at the bar around 8:30.
We needed to talk; I needed to apologize.
He’d actually gone through another trail before he came home, and I sat like a desperate ex waiting for him in his room.
He hadn’t showed.
And when he did, he hit the shower and I got the message loud and clear.
Space Jace, he practically screamed. I still need space.
I threw on a black button down, cuffed the sleeves and stepped into my dress pants. The cross earring I always wore was secure in one ear, a pearl in the other, before I started my walk to the restaurant.
The lobby was massive, so I explored some amenities for the first hour. But the guilt weighed on me too much, and only one thing could fix it.
Alone, I sat at the bar for a couple hours, contemplating the string of words I’d use before Bryce showed up and pulled out the seat next to me.
“Where are the girls?” I asked. I didn’t bother texting Blu at all while she was out for the day. I felt like a dick as it was.
“They just got back an hour ago. They’ll probably be here soon.”
His voice was clipped, but not hostile. I hailed down the bartender and ordered two rum and cokes.
“Sorry about earlier.” That was it. My grandiose apology. When would my pride settle? When would I mean the words that left my lips?
He didn’t look at me, his jaw tight as he said, “You’re not, but thanks anyways.”
“Look man, I am. I feel like shit. I didn’t mean –”
“You feel like shit because I feel like shit, Jace. Nothing affects you unless it affects how other people see you.”
Before I could react, he flicked up his wrist to check his watch. “Let’s get a table. The girls will want to actually make conversation, not side-eye us at the bar while we drink.”
And he was up, flagging a waitress to seat us next to the window. They were floor to ceiling with a gorgeous view of snow covered mountains and ski-lifts.
I couldn’t appreciate any of it.
I didn’t deserve to.
But I sat down all the same and admired the view. Because somehow, life was as cynical as I was. Life rewarded bad behaviour.
Maybe that’s why I became who I became.
Because nice people never got very far.
And once upon a time, I was too nice, and life never rewarded me.
It spat in my face.
***
She walked in wearing a chrome dress with bright blue heels, not quite the colour of her hair – more vibrant.
I barely noticed Fawn, but I didn’t blame myself. Next to Blu, everyone would blur into nothing.
They didn’t come to the table right away; something else caught their attention. Someone else.
My eyes trailed the girls as they walked towards two men dressed in tailored suits with gelled hair.
I looked to Bryce who shared an equally annoyed sentiment, jaw tight with sharp eyes. He said nothing.
These guys were older than me, older than Bryce. One of them had a line of scruff while the other had a full beard. I was cleanly shaven. It suited me better. But did Blu prefer that? I could only wonder.
She started laughing, her smile bright as she placed a soft hand on his shoulder – the guy dressed in dark grey. Fawn kept to herself. That was the better choice.
The double rum and coke sat coolly in my hands, but I melted the glass with my palm, at least that’s what it felt like.
“Do they know them?” I demanded, feeling the buzz take over whatever rational side of me was left.
I didn’t care if Bryce was still mad from earlier. My thoughts were self-invested. Luckily, he didn’t seem to be, noticing the advances that were being made upon his woman.
Upon my woman.
That feeling didn’t scare me. A part of me wanted to claim her as my own. A part of me wanted to give it a rest and let her find shelter in a man more suitable for her.
But not tonight.
Tonight, she was with me.
I calmly pushed my chair back, taking one last sip of liquor before making my way towards the bar. Bryce made no objections as he followed behind me. He was right to.
On my arrival, I caught glimpse of Blu’s arms, for once, uncovered. Various tattoos lined her pale skin, stamping in mismatched patterns, painting her like a canvas.
The dress she wore glittered beneath the dimmed restaurant lights, a contrast between the blue waves cascading down her face.
She looked like a shooting star.
She looked gorgeous.
She looked mine.
“I hope I’m not interrupting,” I drawled, sliding a hand around Blu’s waist.
It was the first time I’d touched her since Halloween, held her close to me just to feel her affection. A part of me was worried she’d slip out my grasp, but the biggest part of me knew she wouldn’t.
She liked being in my arms. Almost as much as I enjoyed holding her there.
The next room attached to Winter’s bar had a clubbier vibe, and as the moonlight poured in past the mountain tops, more and more people made their way to the disco-lit floor.
“Dance with me,” I whispered in her ear, keeping my hand firm on her skin.
“This is Derek,” she said, looking me dead in the face. “Fawn and I met him at the gift shop earlier.”
I barely turned my head to meet him, my eyes still fixated on her rosy cheeks and plump lips.
“Derek,” was all I responded in acknowledgment.
Fawn and Bryce had already backed away, retreating to our table. Blu remained, stubborn and unmoving.
“Have anything to drink tonight?” the suit-fuck asked.
My buzz intensified. “Plenty,” I eyed my blue-haired raven, “And plenty more.”
“What are you staring at?” she practically barked.
A smile spread across my face. “Something that belongs to me.”
Her cheeks heated and I wasted no time to repeat, “Dance with me.”
“And what if I say no?”
This.
This is what I loved about her.
The push and pull. She took it and gave it.
Fire.
That fucking fire.
I took her hand, lacing our fingers together and led her away from the threat. “It’s never good to tell lies, darling.”
One head nod was all it took for Bryce to understand where I was taking her, what I wanted to do. He was mad, sure, but he wouldn’t stay mad. As well, he was smart enough to realize I was a grown man and could make mistakes and screw ups, but I’d never hurt Blu. Not intentionally.
The dance floor was packed with sweaty bodies and melding people, twirling one another with blissful glee. My buzz never heightened to a point where I couldn’t control myself and I was glad. That way, I could enjoy the company I possessed with a clear head.
I could savour Blu’s body as I grasped it tightly, pulling her towards my chest and felt her bare arms in my palms.
“How do I look?” she fished, allowing herself to sway against me.
“Too good,” was my response, staring at her lips.
She kept some space between us as she threw an arm over my shoulder. “I haven’t even had a drink yet.”
“Do you want one?”
“Obviously,” she laughed, “We’re at a bar.”
I led her back to the table, making a conscious effort to avoid the two meatheads nesting at the stools. If they were watching her, I didn’t care. She was watching me. That’s all that mattered.
“Short lived dance, I’d say,” Bryce joked. I met his eyes and he gave me a look that said, “We’re okay.”
I pulled out Blu’s chair for her and slid the remainder of my drink to her position. “It was too crowded. Couldn’t see what I wanted to see.”
For a split second, her and I were the only two people in the room. For a split second, everything was right and uncomplicated. But only for a split second, because nothing good lasted forever. I knew that.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Try it and find out.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Sketchy, Jace. Sketchy.”
“If you want to talk sketchy, your Derek might have the conversation you’re looking for.” Jealousy wasn’t my strong suit. But it was a better suit than the one Derek wore.
She rolled her brown eyes. “Not my Derek.”
“A shame.” I grabbed Bryce’s drink and downed it in one gulp, signaling the bar for another round.
“I wasn’t thirsty anyway,” he glared at me.
“Good, alcohol is horrible for your body. Make better choices.”
He couldn’t help the smile, couldn’t hold back the fact he loved me. Bryce was a day one. He’d never stay upset.
When I glanced at Blu, the corner of her lips was tugged up behind the rim of the glass. I lowered it for her.
“Don’t hide your smile, darling.”
That familiar scarlet hue rose to her cheeks. “You’re chipper tonight.”
And as the evening progressed, I realized I had been. Getting to know Fawn was rather pleasant, since she was dating my best friend, it was essential that I liked her. Blu, well, her presence was promising enough. She didn’t say much, but she laughed a lot.
Her laugh was the only discourse I needed.
The jealousy faded into peaceful oblivion – my world orbited around the three people sitting at this table. In this moment, they were what mattered.
After a few more drinks, I called it quits and helped Blu to her feet.
“Come with me,” I insisted, taking her delicate hand in mine.
“I don’t feel like dancing,” she groaned, but kept my pace regardless. “Where are we going?”
The thought hit me the second she walked in the room, dressed like starlight, reflecting like the moon.
“There’s a view as beautiful as Blu that I’d like to take you to,” the sweet words slipped off my tongue easily. Too easily.
She let out a playful giggle. “Okay Dr. Seuss, lead the way.”
And as we walked past the imperial staircase and carpeted floors, my tipsy mind began listing words that rhymed with Blu.
True.
Clue.
Flew.
Hue.
