Birdy’s picture did not do her justice.
Not even a little.
She’s stunning.
And sweet. I almost half expected her to be beautiful but stuck up in some way. Or lacking personality. That’s not the case at all. She seems very down-to-earth and shy. At least that’s what I picked up while we were waiting to be seated.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Brian was already here, talking on his phone, but the moment we stepped up, he got off the phone and pulled Lia into a big hug while telling her how beautiful she looked. And he’s right. I don’t want to say this because it will sound corny, but when she opened the door to her apartment, she took my breath away. I’ve always considered Lia gorgeous, but seeing her in that dress, yeah, she looks really fucking good. But I quickly tamped down that initial reaction to her appearance because it would do me no good. I realized that back in college after I saw her dressed up for the first time for a date. I was so taken aback that I started to crush on her.
And I quickly realized what a bad idea that was, given how much I cherished our friendship, so I tucked away those feelings, and I’ve been able to block them out. Every so often, they appear, but I know better. Tonight is no exception. Whereas Birdy is stunning, you can tell she does a lot to her appearance. On the other hand, Lia’s just naturally beautiful with her deep, mossy-green eyes and adorable freckles.
Once Brian stopped kissing Lia—quite uncomfortable to witness—Birdy stepped up, looking all shy. Brian introduced us, and we spoke for a few moments before we were directed to our seats.
Now that we’re at a table, four chairs around a square setting, Birdy sits on one side of me and Lia on the other.
“Have you been here before?” Brian asks.
“I don’t believe I have,” I answer. “What about you, Birdy?”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s probably the fanciest place I’ve been.”
“Well, the wagyu is magnificent if you like steak,” Brian says, staring down at his menu. “And please, feel free to get whatever you like. Dinner is on me.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary,” I say as Brian looks up from his menu.
His jaw grows tight with a smile. “This was my idea. Therefore, I’ll be treating everyone.”
You can see it in his eyes. The insecurity. He knows how much I’m worth—it’s easy to look up—yet he feels the need to prove he can keep up. There is nothing to prove and no competition. Therefore, I just leave it in his hands. If he wants to pay for my dinner, by all means, he can pay for it.
“Well, thank you. That’s really kind of you, Brian,” I say, feeling my professional side come out, and I can see Lia chuckling behind her menu from the corner of my eye. She always makes fun of my professional side. She thinks it’s hilarious when I drop the sarcasm and am on my best behavior. She says it’s like witnessing children visiting their grandparents. They’re always on their best behavior, minding their manners, and never saying anything that would ruffle anyone’s feathers.
After the server takes our order, I decide to get to know Birdy better. By the way, she ordered a salad with dressing on the side, no croutons, no onions, and no cheese. So basically, just lettuce and meat. Doesn’t she know that the croutons are the best part?
“So where are you from?” I ask her.
“Originally Tennessee, but I’ve lived in Los Angeles for the past ten years. I went to school here and loved it so much I decided to stay.”
“Hard to leave California once you live here. Did you study marketing in school?”
She nods and pushes her hair behind her ear. “I did. And my master’s. I’ve always been good at spinning a good story to sell something.”
I shake my head. “It takes a creative mind to be in your field. When my brothers and I first started building our business, we had to work on our marketing, and Huxley, my eldest brother, thought it would be smart to give me the job of branding.” I lift my water glass up to my lips. “Let’s just say that didn’t go over well.”
“Oh come on,” Lia chimes in. “I really liked the logo you created.”
“Don’t even bring it up,” I say as I move my hand over my face.
“Oh goodness,” Birdy says. “I have to see this now. Do you have a picture?”
“I do,” Lia replies while taking her phone out of her clutch. “I have a folder in my phone of all of the embarrassing things Breaker has done over the years. It comes in handy when I need to ground him.”
“Which is not often,” I say, trying to make sure Birdy knows I’m not some egomaniac.
“Often enough to have a folder.” Lia flips through her phone and then turns the screen toward Birdy. “So he combined an H for Huxley, a J for JP, and a B for him all together with a C as well.”
Birdy cringes. “It looks like a bunch of crumpled-up letters.”
Lia laughs. “He was going for simple.”
“To my defense, I had no right being in charge of this. I never said I had any design experience, and it was poor judgment on my brothers’ part for putting me in charge of this task. But I was smart enough to suck at it, which made us spend the money to get it done professionally.”
“Smart,” Birdy says. “Always leave it to the professionals.” The server comes up to our table with the bottle of wine that Brian ordered, and while he samples it to make sure it’s what he’s looking for, I ask Birdy if she has any siblings.
“Just a brother. But he’s ten years older than me, so we’ve never been super close. Not like best friends, but we do look out for each other. But friends, probably not like you and your brothers, I assume. You must be close to work together.”
“Very close, sometimes obnoxiously close. We get into each other’s business way too much. When I’m the one who isn’t needing help or hasn’t done something stupid, I enjoy watching the drama unfold.”
“Would you say you’re in charge of mediation in your family?”
“I am,” I say in surprise as I turn more toward her. Brian must have approved the wine because the server starts filling up the wineglasses. “Does it seem like I would be the mediating type?”
“You’re very calm. You have this air about you that makes me think that you like to keep the peace.”
“I do,” I answer. “Don’t care much for drama.”
“Pffft,” Lia says next to me.
I glance over my shoulder. “Care to weigh in?”
“Uh, senior year, the second semester during the Scrabble championships, you were living for the drama. You were part of the drama. Flirting with two girls from the same team, creating an uproar when they found out . . . in the middle of the game.”
“That’s not drama, Lia. That’s called strategic Scrabble play.” I tap the side of my temple. “Mental fortitude is a key component to winning championships, and if you can mess with your opponent in any way to throw off that mental fortitude, then you have to. So yeah, I took one for the team and flirted with two women.” I turn to Birdy and add, “I don’t ever do that in real life, just need to put that out there.”
She smiles softly. “Doesn’t seem like you would be that kind of guy.”
“Hey, Lia, why don’t we go stand out on the balcony while the food takes some time to cook, give these two some alone time to chat?” Brian says with a nauseating wink.
“Oh, sure, yeah,” Lia says while she lifts from her chair and joins Brian. I can tell from the stiffness in her response and the hesitation in her step, the last thing she wants to do is give Birdy and me space. No, she wants to be a voyeur, watching and listening to every second of this interaction.
If the roles were reversed, I would be the same way.
“They’re so cute together,” Birdy says.
“Yeah, they are,” I reply, even though it feels like a lie coming out of my mouth.
“So you met Lia in college?” Birdy asks.
“Yeah, we were part of a secret Scrabble group, and she was very impressive with her spelling skills. After her first night, we sort of bonded over all things that interested us, and we’ve been best friends since.”
“That’s so cool. What were some of the things you bonded over?”
“Uhh.” I look off to the side and then lean a little closer. “If I tell you, it might deter you from wanting to stick around on this date because Lia and I don’t usually like mainstream popular things.”
“Try me.” She brings her wine up to her pink-painted lips. “I might surprise you.”
“Okay.” I rub my hands together and turn toward her. “I have a deep obsession for Lord of the Rings. I read the books when I was younger, became quickly obsessed, and haven’t looked back since. I’ve dressed up as Gandalf for Halloween far too many times for me to count. I enjoy building model airplanes and flying them. I find it incredibly soothing. I’m an avid board gamer. I will try any game at least once. I prefer the ones where I go on a quest. Sports don’t really interest me. I’ll watch them, but I’m not a diehard fan. I’ve been known to enjoy a comic book from time to time, but nothing mainstream like Marvel or DC. There’s this one line of comic books about Sherlock Holmes that I really enjoy reading. I’m tempting the line of becoming a Disney adult. I’m an annual ticket holder, will attend the Halloween party every year, and have a sick obsession with The Nightmare Before Christmas as well as Mulan. The montage where she ‘becomes a man’ gives me chills every time. And my favorite movie is The Thin Man. There’s a whole series of them, and in the late fall, there’s an old movie theater downtown that will put on a marathon of them. Lia and I go every year.”
Birdy sips her wine and pauses for a moment. After a few seconds, she finally says, “A hot nerd, I think I can get on board with that.”
I let out a chuckle and lift my glass to hers, where we clink them and sip.
“WHAT DO YOU THINK, MAN?” Brian asks. “She’s great, isn’t she?”
Birdy excused herself to the bathroom after her plate of salad was taken away by the server. I shamelessly watched her walk away with a pretty hefty sway to her hips that I appreciated.
“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome,” I say as I pat my mouth with my cloth napkin and then set it on the table. “Seems like we have some differences when it comes to interests, but she did say she enjoys hiking, which is a plus.”
Lia has been quiet for a while. Well, most of the dinner, actually. Brian has been talking to her about work while Birdy and I have been conversing.
“Did you tell her that you like birdwatching when you hike?” Lia asks.
“Uh, skipped out on the part where I mention my binoculars, bucket hat, and notebook.”
Brian laughs. “I bet that’s a sight to behold.”
“Not many people get to see that side of me for that reason.”
“I don’t know. I think the bucket hat looks good,” Lia says, her eyes flashing toward me.
Brian shifts in his chair and clears his throat. “So would I be safe to assume that you’ll be driving Birdy home tonight?”
“If she needs a ride, sure,” I answer.
“Will you be asking her out again?” Lia asks softly.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. She seems cool, and getting to know her without an audience who likes to share embarrassing pictures might be helpful.”
“But those are the best pic—”
“Well, don’t let us keep you,” Brian says just as Birdy approaches. I don’t fail to notice how he cut Lia off, or how she slinks back in her chair from the abrupt interruption. Brian stands from his chair and buttons up his suit jacket. “I’ve already taken care of the bill. Lia and I are going to head out as it’s a bit of a drive to Malibu.”
“Yeah, of course,” I say as I stand as well. Way to make this incredibly awkward with a blunt goodbye. There was no interlude, just a short-snipped we’re leaving. Wanting to make sure Lia is okay, I turn to her and pull her into a hug. “You good?” I ask softly. She nods against my shoulder, so I take that as her answer and say, “Have a good weekend.”
“Okay. Thanks,” she says softly, her voice sounding strange. I’m about to ask her if she’s sure everything is okay, but I think twice of it, not wanting to spark any questioning from Brian.
So I release Lia and say, “Text me about next week and your appointments. You know I’ll be at all of them.”
“I will.” She smiles as Brian comes around and places his hand on her lower back.
He lends out his hand and offers me a shake. “Good seeing you, Breaker. Have fun, the night is still early. Maybe take Birdy out for dessert.”
No pressure. Jesus.
“Sure, thanks again for dinner.” They both take off, and I turn to Birdy. She’s standing there, unsure of what to do, with her clutch tightly in her hand. “So.” I stick my hands in my pockets. “Uh . . . when I go on hikes, it’s more for birdwatching.” She laughs. “Just want to put that out there before I ask if you want to get dessert.”
“Birdwatching, huh? Seems like a good time. Don’t know much about birds, but I don’t mind learning.”
“If that’s the case, would you like to go for dessert?”
“I would love it.” Birdy loops her arm through mine, and we walk out of the restaurant together.
“OKAY, THIS CHEESECAKE IS AMAZING,” Birdy says as she takes another bite. “The raspberry swirl should be illegal.”
“I told you it was good,” I say as I take another bite. “And you doubted me.”
“I didn’t doubt you. I was just thrown off. I wasn’t expecting to grab dessert from a food truck.”
“I live off food trucks,” I say while taking another bite. “Near where we live is a taco truck that makes the best fucking tacos with dipping sauce. Lia and I try to limit ourselves, but it doesn’t help that they’re parked right around the corner.”
“Do you and Lia eat dinner together often?” Birdy asks.
“Uh, not really. Maybe like twice a week. Whenever she’s not with Brian.”
“I wish I lived near my friends. It would make it easier to hang out.”
“It is convenient.”
She picks at a piece of cheesecake and says, “I think I’m overstepping when I ask this, but I guess I’m just curious. Have you and Lia ever been . . . romantic?”
I shake my head. “Nah, we’re just friends. Never even thought about it. I guess it’s an honest question to ask when you see two people of the opposite sex hanging out as much as we do. My brothers always ask me despite me giving them the same answer.”
“I’m sorry if that was inappropriate. I was put through the wringer with my last relationship, so I guess I just want to be up front and honest, not that this is a relationship or that you want to ask me out again, but just in case, I like to cover everything.”
“I get that. I’ve, uh, I’ve never really been in anything serious, nor do I date much.”
“Oh, really?” she asks. “I guess that was stupid of me to assume otherwise.”
“No, not stupid. We did go on a double date, so your assumption is valid.”
She sets her fork down and crosses one leg over the other. “So why don’t you date much, Breaker? You seem like a pretty levelheaded guy. Sweet. Kind. Thoughtful. Why aren’t you putting yourself out there?”
“Going deep tonight, are we?” I joke. “Well, I guess I just haven’t found the person I want to spend more time with. It’s not that I’m against dating, but I just haven’t clicked with someone enough to spend more time, if that makes sense. And with my busy schedule, I haven’t really put the feelers out there either.”
She nods. “I can understand that.” She glances to the side and says, “And I guess you’re not that lonely because you have Lia.”
Very true. Lia keeps me fully occupied when I need it.
“Yeah,” I answer softly.
“So what happens after she gets married? Do you think you two will hang out as much? And I ask that not in a mean way, just trying to understand.”
“Don’t worry about insulting me or anything like that. I get the curiosity. And we talked about it a little today, said we could find a house near each other, still hang out.” I twist my lips to the side. “I don’t know. I’m not sure how much we will see each other, though. I know we’ll never forget about each other, but I do know our dinner dates will probably become few and far between.”
“I can only imagine they would because married life is different,” Birdy states, confirming my fears.
“It is.” I bite down on my lip. What does that mean for me? I can tell you what that means. It looks like I’m going to be a whole bunch of lonely soon. “Shit, Birdy, looks like I need to start dating.”
She laughs and pats my hand. “Well, when you’re ready.”
I look up at her and smile. “Maybe I could be ready. What do you think? Would you want to do this again? Maybe not with such a sad ending talking about my pathetic life?”
“It’s not pathetic at all. I actually think it’s sweet. My mom always told me that true friendships are hard to find, but they are the most important things to hang on to. What you have with Lia is so special. You want to hang on to that.”
“I do. But I think you’re right. Married life will be different, and I might not be lonely now when I have her, but that will change after she’s married. It’s about time I put myself out there.” I take Birdy’s hand in mine. “Would you like to go on a second date with me? Maybe a hike? I can show you some birds.”
She smiles brightly. “I would love that.”
BEEP.
Beep.
Beep.
I grumble under my breath and peel my eyes open as I glance at my phone that is lit up.
Who the hell is texting me?
With blurry eyes, I bring the phone closer to my face and note the time. 1:15 a.m. This better be fucking important.
I glance at the sender and see that it’s from Lia. I rub my eyes a few times and then swipe on her text to read it.
Lia: Hey, you up?
Lia: You never texted me after your date.
Lia: Are you still with her?
Groaning, I get comfortable on my side, and I text her back.
Breaker: You know, this is a conversation that could be had in the morning.
Lia: Oh, you are awake. Look at that.
Breaker: Because of you.
Lia: Oops *charmingly smiles*
Breaker: *Rejects the charming smile*
Lia: Don’t be mad, I couldn’t sleep, and I was curious. So . . . how did it go with Birdy?
Breaker: Are we really doing this right now?
Lia: Yes.
I groan again and text her back.
Breaker: Good. She’s pretty cool. We have few obvious things in common, but she was super nice, sweet, and pretty of course.
Lia: Of course. Did you invite her back to your place?
Breaker: Seriously? No. I barely know her.
Lia: As if that has prevented you before.
Breaker: This is different.
Lia: How is this different?
Breaker: Because I’m trying something new.
Lia: Something new? Tell me more . . .
Breaker: I thought I would try to date her.
Lia: Wait . . . seriously? But you don’t date.
Breaker: Yeah, I know, but with you getting married soon and your time being consumed with your soon-to-be husband, I figured I should maybe find someone to, you know . . . be compatible with.
There isn’t a response.
For a few minutes, and I wonder if I said something wrong or if she fell asleep until my phone rings in my hand. Seeing her name scroll across the screen, I pick up and put my phone on speaker so I can rest it against my pillow and talk.
“Hello?”
In a hushed voice, she asks, “Are you trying to replace me?”
“What? No. Why would you say that?”
“That last text, it sounds like you’re trying to find a replacement.”
“Lia, come on, you know I’m not trying to replace you. You could never be replaced, but let’s be honest, as much as we like to believe things won’t change, they will. Brian will be your top priority once you’re married, and you can’t let anything get in the way. Which means I’m going to have some free time. I don’t want to be sitting around in my apartment by myself all the time, so maybe it’s time I go out and find someone.”
“You won’t be alone. We’re going to live next to each other, remember?”
“Still, Brian won’t want me over all the time, Lia. Face it, things are changing, and that’s okay. We knew the time would come.”
“But . . . I don’t want things to change,” she says softly. “I like things the way they are.” God, so do I. I liked it when I had full access to my brothers too, but that ship has sailed. It’s life, I guess. But I can’t ignore this opportunity. I swallow hard and then say, “So then why did you say yes to his proposal?”
She’s quiet, and I know it’s a question I don’t think she knows how to truly answer other than the generic statement.
“Because I love him.”
But are you in love with him? I want to ask her that so bad, but I also don’t want to cause drama. I don’t want her second-guessing herself. If she says she loves him, then I need to believe that.
“Well, then, this is what happens when you fall in love, Lia. Things change.”
She’s silent again and then says, “But Birdy? She doesn’t seem like a person you would go out with.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well . . .” I can hear her take a deep breath. “You don’t have a lot in common. She seems like the popular girl type, and you’re more on the interesting scale.”
“Interesting?” I laugh. “Please describe that for me.”
“You just have different interests that don’t match up.”
“And you and Brian have interests that match up?” I ask before I can stop myself. “Last time I checked, he thinks it’s lame that you and I freak out over a new board game.”
“He said that once.”
“Once is enough.”
“What are you saying? Do you not want me marrying him?”
No, I would prefer that you didn’t.
“I didn’t say that.” I drag my hand over my face. “I’m just trying to say that sometimes interests don’t match up, and that’s okay. Look at you and Brian. You don’t have everything in common, but your relationship still works. Look, I’ve only met Birdy once, so I’m not going to suggest that I’ve met my future wife or anything. But what’s the harm in finding out if we’re compatible? Maybe those different interests won’t be a deal breaker like they’re not with you and Brian. There’s only one way to find out.”
“So does that mean you’re going out with her again?”
“Yeah, we’re going on a hike next weekend. I’m going to teach her about birds. Who knows, maybe she’ll become a fanatic like me.”
“What’s with the Cane brothers and their birds?”
“Hey, JP likes pigeons because he feels guilty about them not being loved, but he couldn’t care less about other feathered friends.”
“Please, for the love of God, don’t call them feathered friends.”
“Well, if I don’t try to put myself out there and date, they very much might be my only friends, and although the solitude of being the crazy bird man sounds charming, I don’t think I’m ready for that title just yet.”
“I can see it, your poncho, a bucket hat. A cane.”
“Please . . . please don’t envision that.”
She chuckles and then sighs. “I’m sorry, Breaker.”
“Sorry for what?” I ask.
“Well, for one, waking you up. And also for giving you a hard time about Birdy. I guess I’m just stressed with the many rapid changes. I was comfortable, content, and now my life feels like a whirlwind of change, and it’s all happening at a frightening pace.”
“You know you have the choice to slow it down.”
“By disappointing others.”
“Yes, but it’s for the sake of your mental health,” I reply. “Don’t try to please others just for the sake of it.”
“I know you’re right, Breaker. I know you are, but I just don’t have it in me to disappoint others. Brian is so sensitive. I think if I postponed, he’d think it had to do with him, and I don’t want him thinking that. I just need to take this one step at a time.”
“Okay, but just so you know, if you want to try to slow this down, you just let me know, and I’ll step in and help.”
“I know, and I love you for that. Just promise me you will be here every step of the way.”
“I promise.”
“Thank you.”
