Rune
“Rune, we need to talk to you,” my pappa said, as we ate our lunch in the restaurant overlooking the beach.
“Are you getting divorced?”
Pappa’s face paled. “God, no, Rune,” he assured me quickly and took hold of my mamma’s hand for emphasis. My mamma smiled at me, but I could see the tears building in her eyes.
“Then what?” I asked. My pappa slowly leaned back in his chair.
“Your mamma has been upset with my job, Rune, not with me.” I was completely confused, until he said, “They’re transferring me back to Oslo, Rune. The company has hit a glitch there and I’m being sent back to fix it.”
“How long for?” I asked. “When will you be back?”
My pappa ran his hand through his thick, short blond hair, just the way I did. “Here’s the thing, Rune,” he said cautiously. “It could be years. It could be months.” He sighed. “Realistically, anything from one to three years.”
My eyes widened. “You’re leaving us here in Georgia for that long?”
My mamma reached out her hand and covered mine with hers. I stared blankly at it. Then the true consequences of what Pappa was saying began seeping into my brain. “No,” I said under my breath, knowing he wouldn’t do this to me. Couldn’t do this to me.
I looked up. I saw guilt wash all over his face.
I knew it was true.
I understood now. Why we came to the beach. Why he wanted us to be alone. Why he refused Poppy’s company.
My heart was sprinting as my hands fidgeted on the table. My mind span in circles … they wouldn’t … he wouldn’t … I wouldn’t!
“No,” I spat out, louder, drawing stares from nearby tables. “I’m not going. I’m not leaving her.”
I turned to my mamma for help, but she lowered her head. I snatched back my hand from under hers. “Mamma?” I pleaded, but she slowly shook her head.
“We’re a family, Rune. We’re not being split up for that long. We have to go. We’re a family.”
“No!” I shouted this time, pushing my chair back from the table. I got to my feet, my fists clenched at my sides. “I won’t leave her! You can’t make me! This is our home. Here! I don’t want to go back to Oslo!”
“Rune,” my pappa said, placatingly, standing up from the table and holding out his hands. But I couldn’t be in this closed space, with him. Turning on my heel, I ran out of the restaurant as fast as I could and headed down onto the beach. The sun had disappeared behind thick clouds, causing a cold wind to whip up the sand. I kept running, heading for the dunes, the coarse grains hitting my face.
As I ran, I tried to fight against the anger ripping through me. How could they do this to me? They know how much I need Poppy.
I was shaking with anger as I climbed the tallest dune and dropped down to sit on its peak. I lay back, staring at the graying sky, and pictured a life back in Norway without her. I felt sick. Sick at just the thought of not having her by my side, holding my hand, kissing my lips…
I could barely breathe.
My mind raced, searching for ideas of how I could stay. I thought and I thought of every possibility, but I knew my pappa. When he decided on something, nothing would change his mind. I was going; the look on his face had told me clearly that there was no way out. They were taking me from my girl, my soul. And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
I heard someone climbing the dune behind me and I knew it was my pappa. He sat down beside me. I looked away, staring out over the sea. I didn’t want to acknowledge his presence.
We were silent, until I eventually cracked and asked, “When do we leave?”
I felt my pappa stiffen beside me, causing me to glance his way. He was already watching my face, sympathy in his expression. My stomach sank further. “When?” I pressed.
Pappa dropped his head. “Tomorrow.”
Everything stilled.
“What?” I whispered in shock. “How is that possible?”
“Your mamma and I have known for about a month now. We decided not to tell you until the last minute because we knew how you would feel. They need me in the office by Monday, Rune. We’ve organized everything with your school, transferred your transcripts. Your uncle is preparing our house in Oslo for our return. My company has hired movers to empty our house in Blossom Grove and ship our belongings to Norway. They arrive tomorrow shortly after we leave.”
I glared at my pappa. For the first time in my life, I hated him. I gritted my teeth and looked away. I felt sick with the amount of anger coursing through my veins.
“Rune,” my pappa said softly, putting his hand on my shoulder.
I shrugged off his hand. “Don’t,” I hissed. “Don’t ever touch me or speak to me again.” I snapped my head around. “I’ll never forgive you,” I promised. “I’ll never forgive you for taking her from me.”
“Rune, I understand—” he tried to say, but I cut him off.
“You don’t. You have no idea how I feel, what Poppy means to me. No damn idea. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be taking me away from her. You’d tell your company that you wouldn’t move. That we have to stay.”
Pappa sighed. “I’m the Technical Officer, Rune, I have to go where I’m needed, and right now that’s Oslo.”
I said nothing. I didn’t care that he was the damn technical officer of some failing company. I was pissed he was only telling me now. I was pissed we were going, period.
When I didn’t speak, my pappa said, “I’m getting our things together, son. Be at the car in five minutes. I want you to have tonight with Poppy. I want to at least give you that much.”
Hot tears built in my eyes. I turned my head so he wouldn’t see me. I was angry, so angry that I couldn’t stop the damn tears. I never cried when I was sad, only when I was angry. And right now, I was so pissed I could barely draw breath.
“It won’t be forever, Rune. A few years at most, then we’ll be back. I promise. My job, our life, is here in Georgia. But I have to go where the company needs me,” Pappa said. “Oslo won’t be so bad; it’s where we’re from. I know your mamma will be happy to be near family again. I thought you might be, too.”
I didn’t reply. Because a few years without Poppy was a lifetime. I didn’t care about my family.
I was lost, watching the rhythm of the waves, and I waited for as long as I could before I got to my feet. I wanted to get to Poppy, but at the same time, I didn’t know how to tell her I was leaving. I couldn’t stand the thought of breaking her heart.
The horn sounded, and I ran to the car, where my family was waiting. My mamma tried to smile at me, but I ignored her and slid into the back seat. As we pulled away from the coast, I glared out the window.
Feeling a hand on my arm, I turned to see Alton clutching onto the sleeve of my shirt. His head was tilted to the side.
I ruffled his messy blond hair. Alton laughed, but his smile faded, and he kept glancing my way the whole journey home. I found it ironic how my baby brother seemed to get how much pain I was in, way more than my parents did.
The drive felt like an eternity. When we pulled into the driveway, I practically dived out of the car and sprinted to the Litchfield house.
I knocked on the front door. Mrs. Litchfield answered after only a few seconds. The minute she took in my face, I saw her eyes fill with sympathy. She glanced across the yard at my mamma and pappa, who were unpacking the car. She gave them a small wave.
She knew too.
“Is Poppy here?” I managed to ask, pushing the words through my thick throat.
Mrs. Litchfield pulled me into a hug. “She’s in the blossom grove, sweetie. She’s been there all afternoon, reading.” Mrs. Litchfield kissed my head. “I’m so sorry, Rune. That daughter of mine will be heartbroken when you leave. You’re her whole life.”
She’s my whole life too, I wanted to add, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak a single word.
Mrs. Litchfield released me and I backed away, jumping off the porch, sprinting all the way to the grove.
I got there in minutes, immediately spotting Poppy under our favorite cherry blossom tree. I stopped, keeping well out of sight as I watched her reading her book, her purple headphones over her head. Branches filled with pink cherry blossom petals fell around her like a protective shield, sheltering her from the bright sun. She was wearing a short white sleeveless dress, a big white bow pinned at the side of her long brown hair. I felt like I’d walked into a dream.
My heart clenched. I’d seen Poppy every day since I was five. Slept beside her almost every night since I was twelve. Kissed her every day since I was eight, and loved her with everything I had for so many days I’d stopped keeping track.
I had no idea how to live a day without her next to me. How to breathe without her by my side.
As if she sensed I was there, she looked up from the page of her book. When I stepped out onto the grass, she flashed me her biggest smile. It was the smile she had only for me.
I tried to smile back, but I couldn’t.
I trudged over the fallen cherry blossoms, the path so littered with fallen petals that it looked like a stream of pink and white beneath my feet. I watched Poppy’s smile fade the closer I got. I couldn’t keep anything from her. She knew me as well as I knew myself. She could see that I was upset.
I’d told her before, there was no mystery with me. Not with her. She was the only person who knew me completely.
Poppy stilled, only moving to pull the headphones off her head. She placed her book beside her on the ground, wrapped her arms around her bent legs, and just waited.
Swallowing, I dropped to my knees before her, and my head fell forward in defeat. I fought against the tightness in my chest. Eventually I raised my head. Apprehension was clear in Poppy’s eyes, like she knew whatever was going to come from my mouth would change everything.
Change us.
Change our entire lives.
End our world.
“We’re leaving,” I finally managed to choke out.
I watched her face pale.
Glancing away, I managed to drag in another short breath, and add, “Tomorrow, Poppymin. Back to Oslo. Pappa is taking me away from you. He’s not even trying to stay.”
“No,” she whispered in response. She leaned forward. “There must be something we can do?” Poppy’s breathing sped up. “Maybe you could stay with us? Move in with us? We can work something out. We can—”
“No,” I interrupted. “You know my pappa wouldn’t allow it. They’ve known for weeks; they’ve already transferred my schools. They just didn’t tell me because they knew how I’d react. I have to go, Poppymin. I have no other choice. I have to go.”
I stared at a single blossom petal as it broke from a low-hanging branch. It drifted like a feather to the ground. I knew that, from now on, whenever I saw a cherry blossom I’d think of Poppy. She spent all of her time here in this grove, with me beside her. It was the place she loved the most.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I imagined her in this grove all alone after tomorrow—no one to go on adventures with her, no one to listen to her laugh … no one to give her heart-bursting boy-kisses for her jar.
Feeling a sharp pain strike my chest, I turned back to Poppy, and my heart tore in two. She was still frozen to her spot against the tree, but her pretty face was flooded with streams and streams of silent tears, her small hands balled into fists that were shaking at her knees.
“Poppymin,” I rasped, finally letting all my hurt free. I rushed to her side and cradled her in my arms. Poppy melted into me, crying into my chest. I closed my eyes, feeling every bit of her pain.
This pain was also mine.
We stayed that way for some time, until finally, Poppy raised her head and pressed her shaking palm to my cheek. “Rune,” she said, her voice cracking, “what will … what will I do without you?”
I shook my head, silently telling her that I didn’t know. I couldn’t speak, my words were trapped behind my clogged throat. Poppy lay back against my chest, her arms like a vise around my waist.
We didn’t speak as the hours ticked by. The sun faded to leave behind a burnt-orange sky. Before long, the stars appeared, and the moon too, bright and full.
A cool breeze whipped around the grove, forcing the petals to dance around us. When I felt Poppy begin to shiver in my arms, I knew it was time to leave.
Lifting my hands, I ran my fingers through Poppy’s thick hair and whispered, “Poppymin, we have to go.”
She only gripped me tighter in response.
“Poppy?” I tried again.
“I don’t want to go,” she said almost inaudibly, her sweet voice now hoarse. I glanced down as her green eyes looked up and fixed on mine. “If we leave this grove, it means that it’s almost time for you to leave me too.”
I ran the back of my hand down her red cheeks. They were freezing to the touch. “No goodbyes, remember?” I reminded her. “You always say that there’s no such thing as goodbye. Because we’ll always see each other in our dreams. Like with your mamaw.” Tears spilled from Poppy’s eyes; I wiped the droplets away with the pad of my thumb.
“And you’re cold,” I said softly. “It’s really late, and I need to get you home so you don’t get into trouble for missing curfew.”
Poppy forced a weak smile onto her lips. “I thought real-life Vikings didn’t play by the rules?”
I laughed a single laugh and pressed my forehead to hers. I placed two soft kisses on the corner of her mouth and replied, “I’m walking you to your door, and once your parents are asleep, I’m climbing into your bedroom for one last night. How’s that for rule-breaking? Viking enough?”
Poppy giggled. “Yes,” she answered, pushing my long hair from in front of my eyes. “You’re all the Viking I’ll ever need.”
Taking hold of her hands, I kissed the tip of each finger and made myself stand. I helped Poppy get to her feet and pulled her into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, keeping her close. Her sweet scent drifted into my nose. I vowed to remember exactly how she felt in this moment.
The wind grew stronger. I broke our embrace and took hold of Poppy’s hand. In silence, we began walking down the petal-strewn path. Poppy rested her head on my arm, tipping her head back to take in the night sky. I kissed the top of her head and heard her sigh deeply.
“Have you ever noticed how dark the sky is above this grove? Like it’s darker than anywhere else in town. It looks jet-black, but for the bright moon and twinkling stars. Against the pink of the cherry blossom trees, it looks like something from a dream.” I tipped my head back to see the sky, and a smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth. She was right. It looked almost surreal.
“Only you would notice something like that,” I said as I lowered my head back down. “You always see the world differently to everyone else. It’s one of the things I love about you. It’s the adventurer I met when I was five.”
Poppy tightened her grip on my hand. “My mamaw always said that heaven looks however you want it to look, you know.” The sadness in her voice made my breath hitch in my throat.
She sighed. “Mamaw’s favorite place was under our cherry blossom. When I sit there and look out along the rows and rows of trees, then up at that jet-black sky, I sometimes wonder if she’s sitting at that exact tree up in heaven, looking out along the cherry blossom trees just as we do, staring at the black sky above just as I’m doing now.”
“I’m sure she is, Poppymin. And she’ll be smiling down at you, like she promised she would.”
Poppy reached out and captured a bright-pink cherry blossom in her hand. She held it out in front of her, staring at the petals in her palm.
“Mamaw also said that the best things in life die quickly, like the cherry blossom. Because something so beautiful can never last forever, shouldn’t last forever. It stays for a brief moment in time to remind us how precious life is, before fading away just as quickly as it came. She said that it teaches you more in its short life than anything that is forever by your side.”
My throat began to close at the pain in her voice. She looked up at me. “Because nothing so perfect can last an eternity, can it? Like shooting stars. We see the usual stars above us every single night. Most people take them for granted, even forget they are there. But if a person sees a shooting star, they remember that moment forever, they even make a wish at its presence.”
She took in a deep breath. “It shoots by so quickly that people savor the short time they have with it.”
I felt a teardrop fall on our joined hands. I was confused, unsure why she was talking about such sad things.
“Because something so completely perfect and special is destined to fade. Eventually, it has to blow away into the wind.” Poppy held up the cherry blossom that was still in her hand. “Like this flower.” She threw it into the air, just as a gust of wind came. The strong bluster carried the petals into the sky and away above the trees.
It disappeared from our sight.
“Poppy—” I went to speak, but she cut me off.
“Maybe we’re like the cherry blossom, Rune. Like shooting stars. Maybe we loved too much too young and burned so bright that we had to fade out.” She pointed behind us, to the blossom grove. “Extreme beauty, quick death. We had this love long enough to teach us a lesson. To show us how capable of love we truly are.”
My heart fell to my stomach. I swung Poppy around to face me. The devastated look on her beautiful face cut me where I stood. “Listen to me,” I said, feeling panicked. Placing my hands on either side of Poppy’s face, I promised, “I’ll come back for you. This move to Oslo, it won’t be forever. We’ll talk every day, we’ll write. We’ll still be Poppy and Rune. Nothing can break that, Poppymin. You’ll always be mine, you’ll always own half of my soul. This isn’t the end.”
Poppy sniffed and blinked away her tears. My pulse raced with fear at the thought of her giving up on us. Because that had never even entered my head. We weren’t ending anything.
I stepped closer. “We’re not done,” I said forcefully. “For infinity, Poppymin. Forever always. Never done. You can’t think like that. Not with us.”
Poppy lifted onto her tiptoes and mirrored my stance, placing her hands on my face. “Do you promise me, Rune? Because I still have hundreds of boy-kisses that I need you to give me.” Her voice was timid and shy … it was racked with fear.
I laughed, feeling the dread seep from my bones, relief taking its place. “Always. And I’ll give you more than a thousand. I’ll give you two, or three, or even four.”
Poppy’s joyful smile soothed me. I kissed her slow and soft, holding her as close as I possibly could. When we broke apart, Poppy’s eyes fluttered open, and she announced, “Kiss number three hundred and fifty-four. With my Rune, in the blossom grove … and my heart almost burst.”
Then Poppy promised, “My kisses are all yours, Rune. No one else will ever have these lips but you.”
I brushed my lips against hers one more time and echoed her words. “My kisses are all yours. No one will ever have these lips but you.”
I took her hand and we headed back toward our houses. All the lights in my house were still on. When we reached Poppy’s doorway, I leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. Shifting my mouth to her ear, I whispered, “Give me an hour and I’ll come to you.”
“Okay,” Poppy whispered back. Then I jumped as her palm landed gently on my chest. Poppy stepped closer to me. The serious expression on her face made me suddenly nervous. She stared at her hand, then ran her fingers slowly over my chest and down over my stomach.
“Poppymin?” I asked, unsure what was happening.
Without saying a word, she pulled her hand away and moved toward her door. I waited for her to turn around and explain, but she didn’t. She walked through the open door, leaving me glued to the spot on her driveway. I could still feel the heat from her hand on my chest.
When the light in the Litchfields’ kitchen came on, I made myself walk back to my own house. As soon as I walked in the door, I spotted a mountain of boxes in the hallway.
They must have been packed and stored away to keep them from my sight.
Pounding past them, I saw my mamma and pappa in the living room. My pappa called my name but I didn’t stop. I entered my bedroom just as he came in behind me.
I moved to my nightstand and began gathering everything I wanted with me, especially the framed picture of Poppy and me that I had taken the previous night. As my eyes scanned the photograph, my stomach ached. If it was possible, I already missed her. Missed my home.
Missed my girl.
Sensing my pappa was still behind me, I said quietly, “I hate you for doing this to me.”
I caught his quick inhale of breath. I turned around, and I saw my mamma standing beside him. Her face was as shocked as my pappa’s. I had never treated them this badly. I liked my parents. I had never understood how other teenagers didn’t like theirs.
But I did now.
I hated them.
I’d never felt such hate toward anyone before.
“Rune—” my mamma began, but I stepped forward and cut her off.
“I will never forgive you, either of you, for doing this to me. I hate you both so much right now I can’t stand to be near you.”
I was surprised at how harsh my voice sounded. It was thick and full with all the anger that was building inside of me. Anger that I hadn’t known it was possible to feel. I knew to most people I seemed moody, sullen, but really, I rarely felt anger. Now I felt I was made of it. Only hate ran through my veins.
Rage.
My mamma’s eyes filled with tears, but for once, I didn’t care. I wanted them to feel as bad as I did right now.
“Rune—,” my pappa said, but I turned my back to him.
“What time do we leave?” I barked, interrupting whatever he was trying to say.
“We leave at seven a.m.,” he informed me softly.
I closed my eyes; I now had only hours with Poppy. In eight hours I would be leaving her behind. Leaving everything behind apart from this rage. I would make sure that traveled with me.
“It won’t be forever, Rune. After a while, it’ll get easier. You’ll meet someone else eventually. You’ll move on—”
“Don’t!” I roared as I whipped around, throwing the lamp from my nightstand across the room. The glass bulb shattered on impact. I breathed hard, heart racing in my chest, as I glared at my pappa. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again! I won’t move on from Poppy. I love her! Don’t you get that? She’s my everything and you’re ripping us apart.” I watched his face pale. I stepped forward.
My hands were shaking.
“I have no choice but to come with you, I know that. I’m only fifteen; I’m not stupid enough to believe that I could stay here alone.” I clenched my hands into fists. “But I will hate you. I will hate both of you every single day until we return. You might think that just because I’m fifteen I’ll forget Poppy as soon as some slut from Oslo flirts with me. But that will never happen. And I will hate you every single second until I’m with her again.”
I paused for breath, then added, “And even then, I’ll hate you for taking me away from her in the first place. Because of you, I’ll miss out on years of being with my girl. Don’t think that just because I’m young I don’t recognize what I have with Poppy. I love her. I love her more than you could imagine. And you’re taking me away, without even considering how I would feel.” I turned my back, walked to my closet and began pulling down my clothes. “So from now on, I won’t give a damn how you feel about anything. I will never forgive you for this. Either of you. Especially you, Pappa.”
I began packing the suitcase my mamma must have placed on my bed. My pappa remained where he was, staring at the floor in silence. Eventually he turned away and said, “Get some sleep, Rune. We’re up early.”
Every hair on my neck pricked up in annoyance at his dismissal of what I had to say, until he quietly added, “I’m so sorry, son. I do know how much Poppy means to you. I tried to leave telling you until now to spare you weeks of hurt. It clearly didn’t help. But this is real life, and it’s my job. You’ll understand one day.”
The door closed behind him, and I dropped onto the bed. I dragged my hand down my face, and my shoulders slumped when I stared at my empty closet. But the anger was still there, burning in my stomach. If anything, it was burning hotter than before.
I was pretty sure it was here to stay.
I threw the last of my shirts into the case, not caring how crumpled they got. I made my way to the window and saw Poppy’s house was in darkness, all except for the dim nightlight telling me the coast was clear.
After locking my bedroom door, I snuck out the window and rushed across the grass. The window was slightly open, waiting for me. I slid through and closed it tightly behind me.
Poppy was sitting in the center of her bed, her hair down and her face freshly washed. I swallowed when I saw how beautiful she looked in her white nightdress, her arms and legs bare, and her skin so soft and smooth.
I stepped closer to the bed and saw the photo frame in her hand. When she looked up, I could see she’d been crying.
“Poppymin,” I said softly, my voice breaking at seeing her so upset.
Poppy set the frame on the bed and laid her head on her pillow, patting the mattress beside her. As quickly as I could, I lay down next to her, shifting until we were only inches apart.
As soon as I saw Poppy’s bloodshot eyes, the anger inside me seemed to flare. “Baby,” I said, covering my hand with hers, “please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry.”
Poppy swallowed. “My mama told me that y’all are leaving real early in the morning.”
I dipped my eyes and slowly nodded.
Poppy’s fingers ran over my forehead. “So we only have tonight left,” she said. I felt a dagger pierce through my heart.
“Ja,” I replied, blinking up at her.
She was staring at me strangely.
“What?” I asked.
Poppy shuffled her body closer. So close that our chests touched and her lips hovered at my mouth. I could smell minty toothpaste on her breath.
I licked my lips as my heart began pounding hard. Poppy’s fingers drifted down my face, over my neck and down over my chest until they reached the bottom of my shirt. I shifted on the bed, needing some space, but before I could move away, Poppy closed in and pressed her mouth to mine. As soon as I tasted her on my lips, I leaned in closer, then her tongue pushed through to meet mine.
She kissed me slow, deeper than ever before. When her hand lifted my shirt and landed on my bare stomach, I snapped my head back and swallowed hard. I could feel Poppy’s hand trembling against my skin. I looked into her eyes, and my heart missed a beat.
“Poppymin,” I whispered and ran my hand over her bare arm. “What are you doing?”
Poppy moved her hand upward until her hand was on my chest, and my voice was halted by the thickness in my throat.
“Rune?” Poppy whispered as she dipped her head to carefully place a single kiss on the bottom of my throat. My eyes drifted closed as her warm mouth touched my skin. Poppy spoke against my neck. “I … I want you…”
Time stopped. My eyes snapped open. Poppy inched back and tipped her head until her green eyes met mine.
“Poppy, no,” I protested, shaking my head, but she laid her fingers over my lips.
“I can’t…” She drifted off, then gathered herself and continued, “I can’t have you leave me and never know what it’s like to be with you.” She paused. “I love you, Rune. So much. I hope you know that.”
My heart slammed into a new kind of beat, one that knew it had the love of its other half. It was harder and faster. It was infinitely stronger than the one before. “Poppy,” I whispered, completely struck by her words. I knew she loved me, because I loved her. But this was the first time we’d ever said it aloud.
She loves me…
Poppy waited silently. Not knowing how to respond in any other way, I ran the tip of my nose down her cheek, pulling back just a fraction to gaze into her eyes. “Jeg elsker deg.”
Poppy swallowed, then smiled.
I smiled back. “I love you,” I translated into English, just to make sure she completely understood.
Her face grew serious once more, and she moved to sit up in the middle of the bed. Reaching for my hand, she pulled me to sit opposite her. Her hands dropped to the bottom of my shirt.
Taking in a stuttering breath, she pulled it up and over my head. I closed my eyes, and felt a warm kiss on my chest. I opened my eyes again to see Poppy giving me a shy smile. I melted at the nervous look on her face.
She’d never looked so beautiful.
Trying to fight through my own nerves, I put my hand on her cheek. “We don’t have to do this, Poppy. Just because I’m leaving—you don’t need to do this for me. I’ll be coming back; I’ll make sure of it. I want to wait until you’re ready.”
“I’m ready, Rune,” she said, her voice clear and steady.
“You think we’re too young—”
“We’ll be sixteen soon.”
I smiled, hearing the fire in her voice. “Most people still think that’s too young.”
“Romeo and Juliet were around our age,” she argued. I couldn’t help but laugh. I stopped laughing when she edged closer and ran her hand down my chest. “Rune,” she whispered, “I’ve been ready for some time, but I was happy to wait because we had all the time in the world. There was no rush. Now we don’t have that luxury. Our time, this time, is limited. We only have hours left. I love you. I love you more than anyone could believe. And … and I think you feel the same way about me.”
“Ja,” I replied instantly. “I love you.”
“Forever always,” Poppy said on a sigh, then shifted away from me. Without breaking her eyes from mine, she lifted her hand to the strap of her nightdress and pushed it down. She did the same to the other strap, and the nightgown fell away to her hips.
I froze. I couldn’t move as Poppy sat in front of me, bared to me. “Poppymin,” I breathed, convinced I didn’t deserve this girl … this moment.
I moved closer, until I towered right above her. I searched her eyes and asked, “Are you sure, Poppymin?”
Poppy threaded her hand through mine, then brought our hands to her bare skin. “Yes, Rune. I’m sure. I want this.”
I couldn’t hold back any longer, so I let go, and kissed her lips. We only had hours. I was going to spend them being with my girl, in every possible way.
Poppy moved her hand from mine and explored my chest with her fingers, never breaking from our kiss. I ran my fingers over her back, pushing her closer to me. She shivered under my touch. I dropped my hand to the hem of her dress at her thigh. My hand traveled upward, until I worried I was going too far.
Poppy broke away and rested her forehead on my shoulder. “Keep going,” she instructed, breathlessly. I did as she asked, swallowing the nerves building in my throat.
“Rune,” she murmured.
I closed my eyes at the sound of her sweet voice. I loved her so damn much. Because of that I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to be responsible for pushing her too far. I wanted her to feel special. I wanted her to understand that she was my world.
We stayed like this for a minute, locked in the moment, breathing, waiting for whatever came next.
Then Poppy’s hands drifted to the button on my jeans and I opened my eyes. She was studying me closely. “Is this … is this okay?” she asked cautiously. I nodded, speechless. Taking her free hand, she guided me to undress her, until all our clothes had been shed onto the floor.
Poppy sat quietly before me, her hands fidgeting on her lap. Her long brown hair was flowing over one of her shoulders, and her cheeks were flushed with red.
I’d never seen her so nervous.
I’d never been so nervous.
Reaching out my hand, I ran my finger down her hot cheek. At my touch, Poppy’s eyes fluttered up, a shy smile pulling on her lips.
“I love you, Poppymin,” I whispered.
A soft sigh escaped her mouth. “I love you too, Rune.”
Poppy’s fingers wrapped around my wrist and she carefully lay back on the bed, guiding me forward until I was beside her, my torso moving to cover hers.
Leaning in, I peppered soft kisses over her flushed cheeks and forehead, ending in a long kiss on her warm mouth. Poppy’s shaking hand pushed into my hair and pulled me closer.
It felt like only seconds later when Poppy shifted beneath me, breaking the kiss. She placed her palm on my cheek and said, “I’m ready.”
Nuzzling my face into her hand, I kissed the fingers resting on my cheek and absorbed her words. Poppy leaned over to the side and took something from the drawer of her nightstand. When she handed me the small packet she’d retrieved, I fought back a sudden rush of nerves.
I stared at Poppy and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “I knew this day would come soon, Rune. I wanted to make sure we were prepared.”
I kissed my girl until I built up the nerve to do this. It didn’t take long, with Poppy’s touch calming the storm inside, until I knew I was ready.
Poppy opened her arms, guiding me above her. My mouth fused with hers, and for the longest time, I simply kissed her. I tasted the cherry lip balm on her lips, loving the feeling of her warm bare skin pressing against mine.
I pulled back for air. I met Poppy’s gaze and she nodded her head. I could see on her face how much she wanted me, as I wanted her. I kept my eyes locked on hers, and I did not break away once.
Not for a single second…
Afterward, I held her in my arms. We faced each other as we lay under the covers. Poppy’s skin was warm to the touch and her breathing was slowing back to its normal rhythm. Our fingers were linked on the pillow we now shared, our grips tight, hands slightly trembling.
Neither of us had spoken yet. As I studied Poppy watching every move I made, I prayed that she didn’t regret what we’d done.
I watched her swallow deeply and she drew in a slow breath. When she exhaled, she dipped her eyes to our clasped hands. As slowly as possible, she ran her lips over our entwined fingers.
I stilled.
“Poppymin,” I said, and her eyes lifted up. A long strand of her hair had fallen over her cheek and I gently pushed it back, tucking it behind her ear. She still hadn’t said anything. Needing her to know what we’d shared had meant to me, I whispered, “I love you so much. What we just did … being with you like that…” I trailed off, unsure how to express what I wanted to say.
She didn’t respond, and my stomach rolled, fearing I’d done something wrong. As my eyes closed in frustration, I felt Poppy’s forehead against mine and her lips whisper kisses onto my mouth. I shifted until we were as close as we could possibly get.
“I’ll remember this night for the rest of my life,” she confided, and the fear I felt was pushed far from my mind.
I blinked my eyes open and tightened my hold around her waist. “Was it … was it special for you, Poppymin? As special as it was for me?”
Poppy smiled a smile so wide that the sight stole my breath. “As special as special can be,” she softly replied, echoing the words she’d said to me when we were eight years old and I kissed her for the first time. Unable to do anything else, I kissed her with everything I had, pouring out all of my love into the kiss.
When we broke apart, Poppy squeezed my hand, and tears built in her eyes. “Kiss three hundred and fifty-five, with my Rune, in my bedroom … after we made love for the first time.” Taking my hand, she laid it on her chest, directly over her heart. I could feel its heavy beats under my palm. I smiled. I knew her tears were tears of happiness, not sadness.
“It was so special that my heart almost burst,” she added with a smile.
“Poppy,” I whispered, feeling my chest tighten.
Poppy’s smile fell, and I watched as her tears began falling to her pillow. “I don’t want you to leave me,” she said brokenly.
I couldn’t stand the pain in her voice. Or the fact that these tears were now sad ones. “I don’t want to go,” I replied, honestly.
We didn’t say anything else. Because there was nothing more to say. I combed Poppy’s hair through my fingers, while she ran her fingertips up and down my chest. It wasn’t long before Poppy’s breathing had evened out and her hand had stilled on my skin.
The rhythm of her steady breathing lulled my eyes to a close. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, to savor the time I had left. But before long, I drifted to sleep, a bittersweet mixture of happiness and sadness flowing through my veins.
It seemed like I had only just closed my eyes when I felt the rising sun’s warmth kissing my face. I blinked until I opened my eyes, seeing a new day breaking through Poppy’s window.
The day I was leaving.
My gut clenched when I saw the time. I was leaving in an hour.
When I glanced at Poppy, sleeping over my chest, I thought she’d never looked more beautiful. Her skin was flushed from the heat of our bodies, and I smiled on seeing our hands still joined on my stomach.
Suddenly nerves flooded through me when I thought of the night before.
She looked so contented as she slept. My biggest fear was that she would wake and regret what we’d done. I wanted her, so badly, to love what we had done as much as I did. I wanted the image of us together to be as ingrained in her memory as it would be in mine.
As if feeling my heavy stare, Poppy slowly opened her eyes. I watched as the recollection of the night before flashed across her face. Her eyes widened as she took in our bodies, our hands. My heart skipped a beat in trepidation, but then a beautiful slow smile spread across her face. Seeing this, I shifted closer to her. Poppy buried her head in my neck as I wrapped her in my arms. I held her close for as long as I possibly could.
When I finally lifted my head and checked the clock again, the anger from yesterday came crashing back.
“Poppymin,” I whispered, hearing the strained anger in my graveled voice. “I … I have to go.”
Poppy stiffened in my arms. When she shifted back, her cheeks were wet. “I know.”
I felt tears hitting my cheeks too. Poppy gently wiped them away. I caught her hand and laid a single kiss on the center of her palm. I stayed for a couple more minutes, drinking in every inch of Poppy’s face, before forcing myself to leave the bed and get dressed. Without looking back, I slid through the window and ran across the grass, feeling my heart tear with every single step.
I climbed through my window. My bedroom door had been unlocked from the outside. My pappa stood near the bed. For a brief moment my stomach turned at the fact that I’d been caught. But then the fury flared within me and I lifted my chin, daring to him to say something, anything.
I welcomed a fight.
I wouldn’t let him shame me for spending the night with the girl I loved. The one he was ripping me away from.
He turned and walked away without saying a word.
Thirty minutes passed in a flash. I cast a glance over my room, one last time. Lifting my backpack, I swung it over my shoulder and walked outside, my camera hanging around my neck.
Mr. and Mrs. Litchfield were already on our driveway, standing with Ida and Savannah, hugging my parents with their goodbyes. Seeing me walk out the door, they met me at the bottom of the steps and hugged me goodbye too.
Ida and Savannah ran to me and threw themselves around my waist. I ruffled the hair on their heads. When they stepped aside, I heard a door being opened. I lifted my eyes and saw Poppy running. She had wet hair, clearly having just showered, but she looked more beautiful than ever before as she sprinted to where we all stood, only me in her sights.
When she arrived on our driveway, she stopped briefly to hug my parents and kiss Alton goodbye. Then she turned to face me. My parents got into the car and Poppy’s parents and sisters moved back toward their house, giving us some space. I wasted no time holding out my arms, and Poppy ran into my chest. I squeezed her tight, inhaling the sweet scent from her hair.
I put my finger under her chin and tilted her head up, and then I kissed her for the final time. I kissed her with as much love as I could find inside my heart.
When I broke away, Poppy spoke through streaming tears. “Kiss number three hundred and fifty-six. With my Rune on his driveway … when he left me.”
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t stand the pain she was in—that I was in too.
“Son?” I looked over Poppy’s shoulder at my pappa. “We have to go,” he said apologetically.
Poppy’s hands tightened on my shirt. Her big green eyes were shining with tears, and it seemed like she was trying to memorize every part of my face. Finally releasing my hold on her, I raised my camera and pressed the button.
I captured this rare moment: the exact moment when someone’s heart broke.
I walked to the car, my feet feeling like ton weights. As I climbed in the backseat, I didn’t even try to stop my tears. I watched Poppy standing to the side of our car, her damp hair blowing in the breeze, watching me leave, waving goodbye.
My pappa started the engine. I opened my window. I held out my hand and Poppy took hold of it. As I gazed into her face one last time, she said, “I’ll see you in your dreams.”
“I’ll see you in my dreams,” I whispered back and reluctantly let go of her hand as my pappa drove the car away. I stared back at Poppy through the rear window, watching her wave, until she was out of sight.
I held on to the memory of that wave goodbye.
I vowed to hold onto it until that wave welcomed me home again.
Until it once again stood for ‘hello’.
