Part 2 – How It’s Going
Placing one foot in front of the other, I walk across the circular drive and toward judgment hour.
My stomach rolls, tightening and churning with every step. Finally daring to look up, I see Hudson’s face.
His eyes are full of confusion, no doubt piecing together who I am and what I’m doing at his front door.
Unable to meet his gaze any longer, I let my eyes fall, staring at the ground and wishing it would swallow me whole.
I can’t imagine what he thinks of me. Of what we’ve done.
My foot hits the last step and I know that as soon as I’m on the landing, it’ll be time to face the music.
Taking in a fortifying breath, I step forward—standing tall and willing all the strength I possess to come forward, shielding me from whatever wrath my brother is about to reign down on me.
“Welcome home, Little Red.” His deep voice has an edge to it and when I look up, the sneer on his beautiful mouth matches the disdain in his tone.
He fucking hates me.
I hesitantly walk through the threshold, clinging on to my duffel bag like it’s my lifeline.
Not two seconds after I’ve passed through the double doors I hear the unmistakable slamming of iron on metal. Whirling around, I see Hudson standing there, facing the entry, his hands squeezing the shit out of the two handles that hold my fastest escape.
“Why?” The question comes out so low I almost miss it. Slowly, Hudson releases his death grip on the doors and turns toward me, stalking forward like a predator about to pounce on its prey. “Why, dear sister, did you not tell me who you were.”
I don’t dare answer. I don’t dare move. Hell, I’m barely even breathing.
Hudson stops to my right, his face leaning in and dropping a couple of decibels as he speaks into my ear. “You’re seventeen, Alyssa. And my fucking sister. Did you know that what we did is illegal in so many states?”
I suck in a sharp breath, his words hitting me with the weight of what I’ve done. I could never take it back. A lump forms in my throat as my heart pounds, demanding exit. “I… I wasn’t thinking.” I manage to answer, but as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know they’re not true.
I was doing nothing but thinking. Thoughts of him have consumed me for the past couple of years, and given the opportunity to be with him—even if just briefly—I took it. Damn the consequences.
Hudson lets out a pained sound, his body hovering so close to me I can feel his heat. Even now, with this awkwardness between us, all I want to do is reach out and touch him.
“Not. An. Excuse,” he grits out, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, sending a ripple of desire running through me. Instantly, my traitorous body shivers, the response making Hudson aware of his proximity and sending him flying back toward the wall.
My eyes turn to meet his and I see the horror on his face. I put that there. The joy and pleasure I’d once given him has now soured, turning into nothing but disgust.
“Alyssa.” My name comes out choked, his eyes digging deep into my soul and pulling out every inch of self-loathing I have inside. Breaking the stare, he motions toward a bench. “Have a seat. Rosa will take you to your room once it’s ready.”
I open and close my mouth, wanting to say something, anything, to make him less mad, but nothing comes out.
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Right. Well, goodnight.”
My heart clenches and eyes tingle with impending tears as I watch him spin on his heels and head in the opposite direction. His feet are moving so fast he’s practically sprinting, unable to get away from me fast enough.
Resigning myself to the consequences of my actions, my ass plops down onto the wooden bench.
Alyssa Rogers, what have you done?
The tears I was holding back fall, my hands reaching up and swiftly wiping them away. The last thing I need is for—
“Miss?” A warm voice calls out, making me look up into the deepest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. An older woman with graying hair and soft features looks at me with so much concern. “Can I show you to your room, or do I need to talk some sense into someone first?” She raises a brow and tilts her head in the direction where Hudson walked off to.
I chuckle at the idea of this five-foot woman laying into Hudson’s six-foot-three. Shaking my head, I wipe away any residual tears. “The room will be fine, thank you. Hudson did nothing wrong.” She purses her lips and moves to grab my duffel, but I stop her. “It’s okay. I can carry my bag. Rosa, I presume?”
“Yes. But you can call me Rosie.” She motions toward a hall and starts walking forward. “I’ll be taking you to your room, but I can give you a full tour of the house once you’re settled. Have you eaten dinner yet?”
I walk behind her, picking up my pace. For such a tiny woman, she sure can walk fast. “No, but I’m not very hungry.”
“Nonsense. A growing girl needs to eat.” She looks back, giving me the side-eye. “You don’t have to worry about seeing Hudson if that’s what you’re worried about. I saw him leave the house as I was coming to get you.”
Oh god. She’s not dumb. There’s no doubt in my mind she saw his mood and then saw me in tears. Anyone could put two and two together to know something went down between my brother and me.
The idea of Rosie finding out what made him so mad sends another wave of guilt and shame washing through me.
I dry heave into my mouth, my lunch threatening to come up and making Rosie stop in her tracks.
“Okay. So maybe no dinner, but I’ll definitely bring you something to settle your stomach.” She offers me a small smile, her hand extending and patting my shoulder. “Mija, I’m not sure what made you both so upset, but it will get better. Hudson is a good boy and I know he has a pure heart.”
A pure heart I just tainted with my own greedy desires.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Rosa pushes open a door off of the long corridor where we’d been walking. Following her lead, I step into a massive guest room decorated in all white. The place looks as sterile as a hospital and has absolutely no personality.
Rosa smirks, probably reading my thoughts. “This is the only room that isn’t decorated. Hudson specifically told the interior designer that she was to leave it as she found it. Only furnishing it with the bare essentials.”
I plop my duffel onto the bed and look at the duvet. I know for a fact that it’s from one of my favorite designers and the bedding alone must cost a small fortune. “Essentials they may be but there is nothing barebones about them.”
Upon further inspection, I see the same can be said about pieces of furniture. They too are from the same designer and eerily match the muted wood tone I have back home.
Rosa smiles before heading to the door. “Yes, he spared no expense. As for why this room is a blank canvas… well, that’s something you’ll have to take up with him.”
My brows furrow, adding that to the back of my mind and saving it for a later date. If I ever get to speak to Hudson again, it definitely won’t be about interior decor.
With the soft click of the door, I fling myself onto the bed.
I need to find a way to get him to forgive me—see that we can move past this and leave it all behind.
Even as I think it, I know it’s not true. There’s no way in hell I could ever act like what we did never happened.
It was magical, damn near life-altering.
Who am I kidding?
That’s just what I did. Altered our lives. Unfortunately, it seems to be for the worst, and there’s no way of fixing what I’ve broken.
Groaning, I throw my arm over my face and beg sleep to take me. Sleep. That’s what I need.
Maybe with a good night’s rest, things will look brighter in the morning.
Alyssa – Fourteen Years Old
My chest aches and my tummy feels heavy.
Alone. She’s left me all alone in this massive house. All so she can go on her honeymoon with a man she demands I call daddy.
I won’t do it. I only have one dad and he’s dead and gone, leaving me here in this too-big house with this too-big hole in my heart.
My feet shuffle in the library’s direction. The only perk I’m grateful for since having moved in. In a matter of months, we’ve gone from living in a cramped one-bedroom to this monstrosity of a home in Orange County.
The change in address also means I’ve left my only friend behind and will start at some prep school where I know absolutely nobody. Ugh. How is this my life? Needing an escape from reality, I shuffle faster toward my next read.
I take a right turn and my breath catches as I push open the wooden double doors leading me into our own private library. Shelves upon shelves of literary masterpieces line the walls and multiple leather couches are strategically positioned throughout the large room. Perfect for snuggling up and reading.
Overwhelmed by the choices, I don’t know where to start. Heading to the far side, I trail my fingers along the worn spines, landing on Great Expectations—a favorite.
“Ah. A Dickens fan.” A deep voice rasps behind me and I jump.
“Hudson. You scared the shit out of me.” I press my palms to my cheeks, feeling them heat.
My stepbrother lets out a sound of amusement. “Such a potty mouth on such a pretty little girl.”
My cheeks heat further. He thinks I’m pretty.
“Um… did you need something?” I blink up at him, wondering what he’s still doing here. I bet he has tons of friends back home in Texas.
His eyes narrow but his face doesn’t lose the warmth, a small smile playing on his lips. “I figured I’d use the rest of the weekend to hang out with my new sister. They sort of just dropped you into this environment and I thought to myself, ‘Hey, I bet she’d rather hang with you than the musty smelling nanny.’” He winks at me while I giggle. “Don’t tell her I said that.”
I wipe a tear away, nodding. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Come. I’ll show you my favorite place to read here.” He holds out a hand, gesturing to the opposite side of the room with the other.
Placing my hand in his, my whole body tingles. It’s as if I were made up of Pop-Rocks and he’d just poured cherry cola all over me.
What in the world?
Hudson, oblivious to my inner thoughts, turns a wall sconce and pulls forward a section of the bookshelf.
Wow. Okay, if the tingles had me shocked, this secret passage has my mind blown.
“This is awesome,” I whisper as we walk into the tiny corridor which leads to a spiral staircase. It’s a tight squeeze, but I love that it makes me huddle closer to him, my body chasing that fizzy feeling he elicits.
After climbing the narrow staircase, we land at the top of what looks like a small tower with windows that span a three-hundred-sixty-degree view.
“This is beautiful!” I squeal and bounce up on my toes, flinging myself at my new brother. “Thank you.”
Now it’s Hudson’s turn to flush red. He’s clearly uncomfortable with my affection. Truth be told, I’m not one for PDA, but I couldn’t not hug him after he showed me this place.
“You’re welcome. The natural lighting makes it the perfect reading nook. I even brought up some bean bags for us.” He hands me the copy of Dickens I’d been eyeing while he pulls open a large book before plopping down on one of the beanbags.
My brows furrow at the realization that he really does plan on hanging out with his dorky little stepsister instead of running back to his no doubt glamourous life in Dallas.
I continue to study him as I sit down, feeling my nose crinkle.
“What?” Hudson looks up from his copy of The Art of War.
“Nothing. Just wondering why you’d rather be here than partying back home.” I hear his dad talk about him. The way he loves women and loves the nightlife. This tiny space with books is a far cry from that.
He looks at me and shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh. “Let’s just say I know what it’s like to be in a big house all by yourself with nobody but the cold nannies. I may not be here permanently, but the least I could do is give you a cushion into nanny lockdown.” He smirks while waving a hand at me. “Now get to reading before I change my mind and leave you here with Nanny Moth Balls.”
Hudson winks at me, his bright smile pulling me in and making me swoon.
I chuckle and crack open my book, grateful that the man who sits across from me is nothing like he portrays himself to the world.
But that’s okay. This hidden soft side is meant only for me.
And just like this secret reading nook, I’ll keep it safe and hidden in my heart.
