Someone’s saying my name, but I’m too sleepy to open my eyes. I’m cozy and warm, snuggled underneath a thick comforter. Every time I inhale, there are happy flutters in my stomach.
“Rylan.”
I groan, rolling over, expecting to encounter more soft pillow. Instead, I hit a firm chest. My eyes fly open, registering Aidan’s smirk first. He’s lying in bed beside me—in his bed. That’s what the delicious scent is. I’m wrapped in sheets that smell like him.
“Wow. And I thought I was hard to wake up,” he comments.
I roll onto my back, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand in case there’s drool and running my fingers through what I’m sure is a bad case of bedhead. I’m groggy and Aidan looks like a male model. Whereas I’m barefaced and yawning. All his bathroom had was a bar of soap, so my skin is probably already breaking out.
“What time is it?” I ask.
“No clue. I forgot to charge my phone last night. It’s dead.”
I cover up another yawn. “Um, okay…”
We didn’t talk much last night, after I invited myself over. We had sex, which I’m reminded of when I shift under the sheets. He was rougher than usual, and I loved every single second of it. He gave me one of his T-shirts to wear to bed. I don’t remember anything after that, so I must have fallen asleep fast.
And now, he’s just staring at me.
I feel my face flush under the scrutiny.
“I’ll, uh, go.”
Aidan grabs my forearm before I can move, calloused fingertips sliding down to my wrist until he reaches the bracelet I’m wearing. That seems to be his favorite spot to touch me now. “I don’t want you to go.”
“Then why’d you wake me up?”
Aidan shifts, his thigh brushing against mine under the covers, and I think the answer will be sex. Instead, he says, “Because I wanted to tell you something. I’ve been wanting to tell you something, and I ran out of patience when you weren’t waking up.”
“Jeez. Sorry for sleeping.”
He doesn’t crack a smile. I study his expression, shocked by the nervousness and seriousness I find there.
“Is something wrong?”
“That’ll kinda depend on how you take this,” he replies.
Now I’m nervous. “Okay…” I’m not sure what else to say.
He takes a deep breath. “After everything that happened with Parker, I didn’t think I wanted another relationship. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of it, honestly. If she hadn’t pushed me for one, I’m not even sure I would’ve ended up dating her. It never made much sense to me. My parents fought a lot and half of my friends in high school were fucking around on the side. It seemed easier—smarter to just avoid the whole commitment thing.”
His voice dips, down into a lower timbre that’s overwhelmingly intimate.
“But then I met you, Rylan, and I realized it’s not a choice you make—having feelings for someone. That it happens without you realizing. That one day you’re driving a girl home from the library, and then all of a sudden you can’t imagine touching anyone else except her. She becomes the first person you want to talk to after you win a game. The last person you think about before you fall asleep.”
I’m frozen. Totally stunned.
Am I dreaming?
“You asked me the wrong question, that night on the porch. You asked how many girls I’d been with since you. You should have asked me how many girls I’ve been with since I walked into the library and saw you sitting there. Since I found out you were a student here, not at some school in England. None. I’m not interested in any other girl, and I really fucking hope you’re not interested in any other guy.”
My head is spinning. I reach for the crease of my elbow and pinch myself—hard.
Aidan’s eyebrows knit. “What are you doing?”
“You have feelings for me?” I blurt.
“Did you seriously just pinch yourself?” He sounds amused.
“I was fast asleep five minutes ago, Aidan. I thought maybe this was a dream.”
“Would it have been a good dream, or a bad dream?”
I suck in a deep breath, my brain still processing. I can’t believe he just told me all that. That he feels that way. “Good.”
The naked relief on his face is as startling as the nerves were. I’m used to Aidan appearing sure. Even when he told me he was anxious about playing well again, after his hat trick, he was confident about being nervous. Owned it with no hesitation. I’d never seen him look truly uncertain before.
But he wasn’t sure what I would say. He just delivered that shocking, romantic speech, put himself out there, and all I really managed was one word in response.
“I-I had no idea,” I tell him. “I thought this was just sex to you.”
“It’s not.” Aidan reaches out, tenderly brushing some hair out of my face. “Is that all it was to you?”
I shake my head. “Of course not. I realized I had feelings for you the night you brought me dinner. That’s why I wasn’t sure about having sex again. I knew I’d just get more attached.”
“You’ve been into me for that long, huh? I knew pool players are my type was bullshit.”
I roll my eyes, then reach up to brush his jawline. He leans into my touch.
“Yeah, I’ve been into you for that long. I’m crazy about you, Aidan. I freaked out about what to do with my life, and you were the first person I thought to talk to.”
His expression softens. “That’s what you were upset about, on Wednesday?”
“Yeah. But it was nothing, really.”
“If it upset you, it’s not nothing.”
I think I’m in love with him. I’m absolutely in love with this, lying in bed beside him while he focuses on me like every word out of my mouth is the most interesting thing he’s ever heard.
“I had a meeting with my advisor.”
“Okay.”
“He thinks my résumé is okay, but I’m still worried it’s not. That it looks like I’m…flighty. That I don’t know what I’m doing. And I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m happy here, way happier than I was in Boston or at Oxford. But I… I don’t know. I chose to major in math because it made sense at the time. It sounded smart and important. But Professor Nelson gave me this list of companies for internships. I looked a bunch of them up, and they all sound boring. I don’t want to work in a cubicle, staring at spreadsheets all day. So now I’m worried I chose my major wrong too, but I can’t possibly change that and I—why are you smiling?”
“Because I’m graduating in May with a two point something GPA and absolutely no marketable skills, and you’re worried your math degree and four point oh are going to hold you back.”
I chew on the inside of my cheek. “You’re right. I’m being silly. It’ll all be fine.”
“You’re not being silly. That’s not what I’m saying. I get freaking out about the future, a little too well. I’m just trying to give you some perspective. You have amazing grades and you’ve had experiences people will see as impressive, not flighty. If you end up in a job you hate, then you find a new one. Go to grad school and study something that’s not math. There will always be other options, Rye.”
I exhale. Nod. “Yeah. You’re right.”
“Nah, I’m an idiot, because I just realized I never actually asked you.”
“Asked me what?”
“If you’ll be my girlfriend.” He grimaces. “That wasn’t a question either. Will you be my girlfriend, Rylan?”
“Are you…sure?”
Yes is the answer I want to shout. But the last guy who asked me that question changed his mind in the most painful way possible. Aidan’s different from Walker in practically every way. I don’t think he’d cheat on me. But the memory of hearing his teammates say he was upstairs last night is still a fresh, raw one. I haven’t forgotten how hearing that felt. And I convinced myself Aidan wasn’t a possibility. That he wouldn’t ever want a relationship. I’m still absorbing that he does.
“I’m sure,” he says. “I wouldn’t have said anything if I wasn’t.”
Aidan doesn’t sound mad I’m doubting him. Just matter-of-fact, like there’s no question in his mind. His confidence bolsters mine. And I’d rather regret leaping than to never jump at all.
“Okay. Then yeah, I’ll be your girlfriend.”
He grins, wide and boyish, then rolls so he’s hovering over me, holding most of his weight off me. All I can feel is the rasp of his strong legs rubbing mine, and the delicious drag of his erection against my inner thigh. My knees part automatically, spreading to accommodate him.
Aidan doesn’t reach down, though. His mouth brushes back and forth against mine twice, the touch lighter than a feather floating past. Then he’s kissing me, intense, overwhelming ones that make my mind go blank. That sear into my skin like a brand and leave my lips tingling, even after his move down to my neck.
“I like you in my bed, wearing my clothes,” he tells me between kisses.
“I like being in your bed, wearing your clothes,” I reply between pants, running my hands down his muscular back. “What time do you have practice?”
“Not until—” A phone rings, cutting him off. “Yours,” he says. “Mine’s dead.”
I glance over the side of the bed, at the spot on the floor where I left my phone.
“It’s my, uh, dad. I’ll call him back.”
“It’s okay. Take it.” He rolls away.
After a split-second of deliberation, I reach for it. My dad rarely calls and never this early, so something might be wrong.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Hey, honey. How are you?”
Fantastic. I have a new boyfriend, and he’s one of your players.
This isn’t how I can tell him, though. And it’s something I need to talk to Aidan about first.
“Um, fine. How about you? Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything’s great.” He pauses, like something just occurred to him. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“No, I was up.”
“Oh, good. I just wanted to call and say how excited I am that you’ll be at the championship. Your mom spilled the beans last night.”
I don’t trust myself to look over at Aidan. I’m guessing he can hear our whole conversation. He’s lying less than a foot away from me.
“It was supposed to be a surprise,” I tell him.
My dad chuckles. “Your mother hasn’t successfully kept a secret from me in thirty years, sweetie. She left the tickets in the printer.”
“She didn’t even need to print them. The airline scans it on your phone now.”
“Really?” News to my dad, I can tell. I’m positive his plane ticket is printed somewhere. “Well, it means a lot I’ll have my girls there.”
“Good, I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too. I just wanted to check in. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s good.”
“Great. Talk soon, honey.”
“Okay. Bye, Dad.” I hang up, then toss my phone onto the bed.
He speaks first. “You’re going to the game?”
I nod before glancing over. “Yeah. My mom wanted to surprise my dad by showing up and asked me if I wanted to go too. I haven’t done much to support him, especially before I transferred here, so I thought it would be nice. Plus…”
“Plus what?”
“Plus, I wanted to watch you win.”
“You think we will, huh?” He’s not fishing for compliments. He’s really asking.
“I do, yeah.” I suck my bottom lip into my mouth. “And…I think we should wait to tell my dad. About us. He’s waited even longer than you guys for this. I don’t want him distracted or—or for it to affect things between you two.”
Aidan’s expression doesn’t change, giving me no indication on whether he’s relieved or offended I want to keep us a secret for now. “How do you think he’ll take it?”
“I have no idea. He’s usually good about letting me live my own life, but he didn’t like Walker and wasn’t shy about saying so.”
“Something we have in common.”
I snort. “He might think it’s a conflict, because of the tutoring. So we should probably wait until after you pass the retake too.”
One corner of his mouth curves up, creasing his cheek like a comma. “Sounds like you want me to be your dirty little secret,” Aidan tells me, smirking.
I smirk back. “Do you have a problem with that, Phillips?”
“Nope.” He pops the P. “Should we come up with code names? Secret meeting spots? Or maybe—”
I crawl on top of him, and that quickly shuts Aidan up.
