All The Lies: A Dark New Adult Romance: Chapter 28

MY EYES SHOOT open to be greeted by the darkness.

Deep, uncontrollable darkness.

I open my mouth to shriek, but no sound comes out. A heavy weight settles on my chest, shifting as if about to burst through.

That’s when I realize I’m not breathing. Nothing is suffocating my air, so why the hell am I not breathing?

Breathe.

Breathe.

“Reina!”

My lungs kick into gear at that voice. That low, firm voice with the slight huskiness.

A light illuminates the room and with it, my lungs regain their functions. I gasp for air as if I were drowning and now I’m finally seeing the surface.

Strong arms hold me in a steel-like cage as I breathe in and out.

Inhale. Exhale.

Sandalwood and citrus.

Asher.

My nails dig into the thin material of his T-shirt as I stare up at him. Blurriness still clouds my vision from the tears in the dream—or memory.

He watches me with an indecipherable expression. His thick brows furrow downward as his thumb strokes the skin of my belly where my top meets my shorts.

Up and down. Up and down.

The friction his touch creates is like a soothing lullaby. A reason to breathe. To remain here.

Asher must’ve showered because his hair is half damp, falling over his forehead in a perfect mess. With the bedside lamp on, the green of his eyes flickers to a darker color like the night or… the unknown.

Why do I keep gravitating toward the unknown? Is it the thrill? The feeling of having my will taken away?

True, that unknown keeps the gloomy cloud at bay. Asher’s presence, although not always pleasant, has been an anchor.

Something I can lean on, something I can watch and breathe.

“What was it?” he asks in that suspicious tone that he’s been using with me since I woke up in the hospital.

It’s like I breathe and he suspects I have an ulterior motive behind that.

“Reina.”

One word. It’s just one word, my name, but he says it with so much authority, so much power, my thighs quiver.

How would it feel like if he used that voice while he’s inside me and —

I internally shake my head. That’s a totally wrong image at this time.

“It was…” My voice comes out hoarse as if I’ve been shrieking at the top of my lungs. I clear my throat. “Just a dream.”

“What kind of dream?” His piercing gaze remains the same, hard and unyielding.

He’s not letting this go.

I lean my head further so it lies on his solid shoulder and I get a complete view of his features. Something has changed about them, they’re almost… softening.

There’s no trace of the Asher who only looked at me with pure hatred.

“It’s not important,” I say.

“Tell me and I’ll decide whether it’s important or not.”

“It doesn’t make sense, okay?” I sigh. “I was calling someone else Reina. It’s obviously some play of my subconscious.”

“Play of your subconscious,” he repeats with a neutral tone as if he’s feeling the words or trying to figure out why I said them.

His expression remains sealed for the most part, but his grip around me tightens a little. “What else happened?”

“The voice called me Rai and we promised each other things… I don’t know. I told you. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Have you had such dreams before?”

“Yeah. A few times.” I pause, squinting at the distance. “Now that I think about it, it was always like I was talking to myself.”

“Talking to yourself. Interesting.”

“Why? What do you think happened?”

The calculating streak rushes back to his features. “I’m piecing it together myself.”

“It doesn’t make sense, what’s there to piece?”

“Is that what you really think?”

I swallow the lump at the back of my throat. “I…don’t know.”

And I don’t want to know. Those dreams must be some cruel joke from my subconscious. Otherwise, things will turn for the worst.

That could mean I have a dissociative personality disorder or something. That’s the only explanation for the fact I talk to myself and have two names for me.

There’s also the possibility of a twin, but it’s null and void. I’ve been an only child my entire life.

The up and down of Asher’s thumb on my hip stops for a second before resuming.

My heart picks up speed the more he touches me. I’m drowning in him. In his aftershave with that light citrus, masculine scent. In the warmth of his embrace.

How could he become so warm after he was so cold?

What changed?

“Why are you here, Ash?” I ask in a low tone.

“It’s Asher,” I swear he stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “And you were crying last night, remember? You kind of clung to me.”

“You could’ve left when I was asleep. Actually, you did. You had a shower and a change of clothes. So why did you come back?”

He’s silent for a few seconds, the air stretching with unsaid words, before a deep sigh rips from him. “Go back to sleep, Reina.”

I dig my fingers harder into his chest. “No. Tell me. If you hate me so much, why do you keep coming back to me?”

His silence war returns and I expect him to shut me off, to pretend we never had this conversation.

Hell, I expect him to get up and walk out of the room. Sure, I should’ve had what I could get from Asher. I should’ve probably kept my mouth shut and slept in his embrace and pretended nothing happened.

But I owe myself so much more than that.

True, Old Reina was a devil’s spawn and she hurt Asher in some way, but I’m not her anymore. If he can’t see that, if he can’t differentiate between the two of us, then he doesn’t deserve the new me.

Instead of pushing me off and walking away, Asher’s jaw clenches and his eyes find mine. They’re green, raw, and…confused?

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?” I whisper as I feel his words hitting a deep, secret part of me.

A part I thought was sealed and protected.

A part I thought Asher would never reach.

How could his mere words open the gates to my armored heart? How could I let him touch me so deeply?

Am I too far gone?

Asher flips me over and I land underneath him with a gasp. His massive body hovers over me as his thighs cage mine and one of his hands prisons both my wrists above my head on the pillow.

My heart rate picks up and a strange sensation claws at the bottom of my stomach. No, not strange. That sensation is exclusive to Asher. Whenever he’s in view, whenever he’s in my immediate vicinity, that need to fuse myself with him grips my being and refuses to let go.

He’s tenacious that way, Asher.

He broke me in a whole different way than he initially planned. He was after my spirit, he got my heart.

My stupid, fluttering heart.

“Yes, Reina. I don’t know why the fuck I can’t stop thinking about your laugh and your smile. I don’t know why I keep watching you all the time. I don’t know why my dick only comes to life when you’re around.” He strokes his thumb along my jaw, keeping me pinned in place. “So why don’t you tell me? What type of fucking game are you playing this time?”

With every word out of his mouth, my chest flutters and my thighs become slick with arousal.

Softening my tone, I whisper. “No games. It’s me. Just me.”

“Just you.”

“Just me.”

“Even if I say you’re mine now?”

I smile despite myself. Deep down, I think I knew I belonged with Asher since the time I woke up in the hospital. I guess I was just too proud to admit it back then.

I fought it. God, I fought it so much, but the answer has always been tucked in the darkest pits of my soul.

“Yes,” I murmur.

Asher rolls his hips, lowering himself to me. An unmistakable erection nestles between my thighs, hard and ready. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” It’s the easiest words I had to say.

A groan rips from the back of his throat as he slams his lips to mine. The ferocity of his passion ignites my own and I have no choice but to kiss him back, get lost in his hard mouth and the unspoken words he’s telling me with his lips.

How much he loves I’m his.

How much it drives him insane.

How much he wants me.

They’re all a translation of my own emotions. Asher and I might not see eye to eye on everything, but right now? Right now, our lips and tongues are doing all the talking.

His grip on my wrists hardens as he angles my head with his free hand to kiss me thoroughly. Asher isn’t interested in a mere kiss. He wants to conquer me whole so there’s no part of me left for the taking.

So every inch of my being belongs to him.

He releases my wrists so he can pull my top and sports bra over my head. When it tangles against my hair, he rips the top off.

The power in his strong hands and the unrestrained desire in his eyes cause me to pant.

No. Not mere desire.

That look is so predatory like he’s been waiting a long time for this moment.

Maybe I’ve been waiting for it, too.

His fingers dig into the tender flesh of my breasts. My nipples pucker into tight nubs as he runs his thumbs over them. The friction shoots straight between my legs.

Oh, God. This is pure torture.

His ferocious gaze slides from my nipples to my face that must be all flushed and red. “These tits are mine, too, aren’t they?”

I nod.

He pinches one between his fingers and I hiss a breath at the pleasure mixed with pain. “Does it hurt, prom queen?”

I bite my lower lip to cage the whimper trying to escape.

He leans over and bites the other nipple into his mouth, nibbling on it. “Answer. Me.”

“Yes…it does,” I pant.

“Do you hate it?” His slight scruff scratches against the sensitive skin of my breasts.

“N-no.”

He lifts his head, a grin tilting his lips. “No?”

I must be out of my mind because all I can do is shake my head. I don’t know what it is about Asher’s roughness that draws me in, but it’s there.

Like being carried away in a current. Like free-falling in a waterfall.

There’s something liberating about this type of pleasure mixed with pain.

Something like being…alive.

It’s like that gasp of air after drowning, the first breath after being reborn.

He releases my breasts so he can hook his fingers on the waistband of my shorts. “If I reach under these, will I find evidence?”

Goosebumps erupt on my skin as his knuckles drag down my overheated thighs. He throws my shorts and panties somewhere behind him.

He thrusts a hand between my naked thighs and dips a finger against my slick folds.

“Fuck.” He grunts. “You’re soaked.”

My trembling thighs willingly part for him as he slides his finger up and down my slit. He teases me with such ease, as if he knows my body more than I do.

His lean, rough digits are enough to start a low humming at the bottom of my stomach. The sensation alone nearly pushes me off the edge.

“Is this for me, prom queen?”

I look away, my cheeks flaming. It’s not due to embarrassment, but rather… arousal. I don’t want him to see my face right now or how much of an effect he has on me.

He tsks, a tinge of darkness in his tone. “That’s not how it works. Look at me.”

I don’t.

He thrusts a finger inside me and my back arches off the bed as my walls clench around his digit. “I said. Look. At. Me.”

Taking a deep breath, I slowly face him. I’m panting, my face heating like a pit of fire. My hair sticks to my temples with sweat and my lips are parted with the need for more.

So much more.

“When I order, you obey. When I ask, you fucking answer. That’s the only way this will go, got it?”

A sense of Déjà-vu hits me out of nowhere as I nod once.

“Open that mouth.”

I do. I just…do. My lips fall open, tingling with anticipation.

With his finger still inside me, Asher thrusts his free thumb between my lips. “Suck, like you mean it.”

I wrap my lips around his digit and keep eye contact as I lap on the skin with my tongue. He tastes fresh and masculine. My thighs clench around his other hand, begging for more.

He pulls back his thumb, and I pant as he presses it at my bottom lip.

“Now, answer me.” He works his finger inside me in an increasing rhythm. “Are you wet for me?”

Oh, God. Why does he have to say that with that extremely authoritative tone? I can’t resist that tone even if I tried to.

“Yes,” I murmur.

“I didn’t hear that.” He thrusts another finger, pounding both of them with a maddening urgency.

“Oh…oh…” My back lifts off the mattress as the wave hits me. It’s slow at first, too slow I barely feel it coming.

Then it slams into me in one go like that free fall from the waterfall. Like being caught in the eye of a storm.

“Say it, Reina,” he orders against my ear.

“You…it’s for you. Only you.”

“That’s my prom queen.” He claims my lips in an all-consuming kiss as the wave pushes me left and right. It takes me high, just to drop me back down again.

When I come down, he’s watching me with a hardened gaze, so consuming and…uncut. He’s not hiding any of his emotions right now.

He’s all bare.

If I were a better judge of feelings or not caught in the orgasm halo, I could’ve probably read those emotions.

I could’ve probably had something to go with.

But I don’t.

My chest rises and falls at a frightening speed. With each inhale, my nipples brush against his T-shirt, hardening even more.

I lie completely naked underneath him while he remains clothed. That’s not how it’s supposed to go.

Hooking my trembling fingers on either side of his T-shirt, I pull it over his head.

He lets me, but he’s watching me with a guarded expression. The uncut version is gone and his suspicious self is back on.

I hate it when he hides from me, when he builds forts and summons guards, when he calculates his every movement.

Soon, he won’t.

I’ll get under his skin as deep as he got beneath mine and he won’t be able to hide anything from me.

“What are you doing, prom queen?” His hands fist on either side of him as if he’s stopping himself from doing something.

“Making things fair.” I meet his gaze with my imploring one as I throw the T-shirt away.

“You never undressed me before.”

“I’ll fix that from now on.” I lean over and grab the waistband of his sweatpants and drag them down his legs.

His hard cock springs free of its confinements, and I get caught eyeing it. Asher grunts as I watch it. Almost as if he’s feeling me touch it.

“Fuck, Reina.” He kicks the sweatpants away and slams me back against the bed. “For the last goddamn time, what’s your game?”

“You,” I whisper.

“Reina,” he growls, impatience slipping into his tone. His dick twitches between my thighs, his impatience matching my own.

My fingertips touch the corner of his mouth. “It’s always been you.”

He pauses. I pause, too, realizing the weight of my words.

It’s always been you.

How long are we talking about? Since I regained my memories? Or does it go way back?

Asher doesn’t allow me or himself to think about it.

He wraps a hand around my throat. It’s not tight to cut off my breathing, but it’s firm enough to keep me from moving. It’s firm enough to translate his dominance.

If it were another person, I would’ve asked him to use protection, but it feels wrong with Asher. Besides, I’m on the shot. I checked during one of my visits to the hospital, because maybe I’ve been thinking about sex with Asher for some time now.

“You’re well and truly fucked, prom queen.”

“Why?” I strain to say the words.

“Because you’re mine now,” he growls as he thrusts inside me in one go.

My body feels like it’s burning from the inside out. Not only that, but my heart beats so loud, if it doesn’t cause me a heart arrest now, I don’t know when it will.

The world halts for a beat.

Asher is filling me whole and erasing everything else from our vicinity.

My gaze collides with his in that pause. For a moment, as our bodies join, our spirits join, too.

We become one.

He starts rolling his hips slowly, drawing goosebumps over the already formed goosebumps. Perspiration trickles down my temples as I watch him. His hard gaze and his straight nose. His sharp jaw and his kissable lips. His ragged breathing and his solid abs.

How could I not fight for him before? How could I ever hurt him?

Just when I’m falling into the slow rhythm, he fastens his pace. He pounds into me with the renowned energy of a dying man finding refuge.

It’s like he’s also been drowning and is now coming up for air, too.

I wind my hands around his forearm that’s holding onto my throat. I hang on to him as he hangs onto me.

And I let go.

I melt in his dominance and his masculine force, in his ruthless power and maddening energy.

The roll of his hips becomes harder and faster. My body arches off the bed as he owns every inch of my soul and something else I’m too scared to admit.

“Ash…”

“What? Tell me.” The rumble of his voice intensifies the pleasure whirling inside me.

“I…I’m…”

“Close?” He licks my lower lip as he tightens his grip around my neck.

I nod frantically.

“You’ll come all over my dick because you’re mine. Only mine.”

I nod again, my throat closing in with the violence of the wave about to hit me.

“Say the words, Reina.”

“Y-yours.” My voice cracks. “Only yours.”

“Fuck!” His body grows tense as spurts of his cum coat my insides.

My body trembles with the force of his release and the wildness of my own.

My mouth stays open in a wordless ‘O’ as multiple bursts of pleasure hit my womb and shoot through my entire body.

Or rather, past my body and into my soul.

My eyes flutter closed as my head rolls back against the pillow. His hold against my throat only heightens the sensation.

It takes me several minutes to come down from the high, to catch my breath.

To actually breathe.

Why the hell have I waited this long to do this?

When I open my eyes, I find Asher watching me with intensity but also…affection and something else.

Something so sinister and tangible, I nearly taste it on my tongue.

Before I can get a better read of his expression, he releases my throat and crawls on top of me, his knees settle on either side of my face. He grabs his semi-hard cock in his fist and stares down at me. “You know what to do.”

“I…do?” I whisper, staring between him and his dick. “What am I—?”

“Shh, don’t talk. Use that mouth for something else.”

Does he want me to get him off? Didn’t he just come inside me? The evidence is still dripping between my thighs.

Still, I let my lips fall open and take him inside. He tastes like…me. Oh, God. This is a lot more intimate than I thought it would be.

A grunt spills from Asher’s throat as he strokes my hair back. “Do you taste us, prom queen?”

I nod, my cheeks flaming, as I lick him more diligently.

His fingers trail from my hair to the hollow of my cheek. “Fucking blushing.”

He doesn’t sound happy as he says it; if anything, he appears a bit mad? But why? Why is he angry that I’m blushing?

“I don’t know what the fuck to do with you anymore.” He pulls out of my mouth, and a sense of emptiness engulfs me.

I expect him to leave, like that time after the first orgasm both of us had together.

The gloomy cloud is looming in the distance, waiting to swallow me.

Asher gets off me, and a tightness grips my throat, a sense of rejection, of…nothingness.

No. I don’t want to be alone right now.

I’m about to step on my pride and ask him to stay. I’m about to clutch his arm and hold him to me, but he does something unexpected.

Asher lies on his back and pulls me to the curve of his body by the arm. My head rests on his chest where lines of his tattoos cover his shoulder; tattoos I still don’t know the meaning of.

The sense of abandonment withers away as infuriating tears of gratitude fill my eyes.

He’s…staying of his own volition.

“Ash…”

“Sleep, Reina. Tomorrow is a big day.”

I want to ask what for, but I don’t have the energy, so I close my eyes and do as he said.

I sleep.