AT NIGHT, I go back to Alex’s house for a visit.
Asher didn’t like the idea that I’d be talking to Jason, and he’s been grumpy during the entire ride.
I like watching him be pissy about this; it’s better than seeing him broken from the inside out like this morning. Finding out all that about Arianna must’ve crushed him.
If roles were switched and Reina did that to me, it would’ve destroyed me, too.
Asher is too proud and stubborn to accept comfort. After the morning confrontation, we went to college, and I’m glad for that. I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to deal with him in that state. All I want to do is hug him, and I know he wouldn’t accept it.
Not only is he proud and stubborn, he’s also sealing himself off from me.
Still, I want to feel close to him in some way, and I’m ready to take the risk of striking up that conversation.
We cut the distance toward Alex’s house in Asher’s Mustang. It’s quiet and nearly asphyxiating in here.
For a second, I watch the dominance he exudes as he grips the wheel with easy control—like he does with my body.
I briefly close my eyes in remembrance. My ass and pussy are still sore from the powerful way he thrust inside me. He claimed me. There’s no way around it, and now, I’ll always want more.
Before that, there’s something more potent hanging between us that I should try to clear up.
Chasing the remnants of arousal away, I face him, playing with the strap of my bag. “Why did you quit football?”
Asher throws me a brief glance before he focuses back on the road. Since he’s been in a pissy mood, I expect him not to answer, but then he says, “It didn’t interest me in the long run.”
“And law does?”
“Yes, international, not domestic. There’s something liberating about moving freely between borders.”
Interesting. I thought he chose law to spite his father in some way, but it seems his and Alex’s visions are entirely different—even if they have a few things in common.
“Then why did you come back?” I lower my head.
“I told you, it’s for you.” He shakes his head. “I could’ve studied here, but I left because of you then I returned for the same reason. I hated you so much, you consumed me.”
His quiet confessions are like fire arrows shooting at my chest, burning me alive.
Hated.
He didn’t say he hates me; he worded it in the past tense.
Besides, he said I consumed him, maybe as hard as he consumed me. Maybe his hate has transformed into something else now, or is that too much to ask for?
It’s funny how I’ve become careful with how much I can hope for. Now, I’m always scared that if I get too ahead of myself, everything will crumble all around me.
Instead of confronting him about what he said, I choose to keep the hope and ask, “How was your life there? In England, I mean.”
“Just a life.”
“Can you elaborate?”
He’s quiet for a beat. “I had friends, Aiden and Cole. They’re a bit eccentric and they managed to keep my mind off things.”
They must be the ones I saw in that Instagram picture Lucy showed me. I want to meet them one day, see how Asher lived without me.
“What type of things?” I ask.
“Like coming back and fucking you—those types of things, Reina.”
My cheeks heat, and I swallow back the impulse to say Then why didn’t you?
“How about you?” He pulls me out from my thoughts.
“What about me?”
“How was life for you?” He pauses. “Forget it, you don’t remember—”
“Lonely,” I cut him off.
His green gaze slides in my direction as if he didn’t expect me to say that.
Now that I’ve started, I can’t stop the flow of words. “I might not remember everything, but I clearly remember the loneliness and the fear about the possibility of never finding my sister. Those feelings ate at me from the inside out, but I had to keep up the façade everyone expects of me.”
“Not me.” His voice is low, deep, and so raw I feel it to my soul. “I like it better when you’re natural and uncut. Those masks will suffocate you one day. They’re not you.”
I fight the pull of tears as I gawk at him. How long have I waited for someone to tell me those exact words? Hell, how long have I waited for him to say anything similar to that?
“How do you know it’s not me?” I couldn’t speak louder even if I wanted to.
“I just do, Reina. I know you.”
And I know you.
But I don’t say that out loud. If I do, I’ll turn into an emotional mess and demand he cuddles me or something. We don’t have time for that under the circumstances.
The Mustang comes to a slow stop in the driveway. I retrieve my bag and step out of the car. As soon as the outside air assaults me, I stop in my tracks.
Detective Daniels.
He stands in front of a police car talking to one of the staff, Joe, who probably wouldn’t let him in.
Asher gets out and curses under his breath. “Get back in the car.”
You know what? I’ve had enough. That detective doesn’t scare me. The thought of never finding my sister does.
“No,” I tell Asher.
Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I stride toward him, my entire body tightening as if hardening for the imminent battle.
“Miss Reina.” Joe seems taken aback at my appearance.
“Hey, Joe.” I greet him then focus on the detective. “Is there a reason for your visit?”
He narrows his eyes on me for a brief second before he masks his reaction. “Miss Ellis, I was hoping to talk to you.”
“Then talk. I’m all ears.”
“Have you recalled anything about what happened to you that night?” He retrieves the picture and the bracelet, shoving them in my face. “I’ll drag you into court with this and the DNA.”
I resist the urge to snatch the bracelet away. It’s the only memory I have from my mom and the only thing I kept as Rai. “Apparently, you couldn’t do anything with those. I’m going to have my lawyers retrieve my belongings.”
He pushes off the car and Joe stands his ground beside me. I don’t push back or cower. It was stupid to be scared of him in the beginning, or maybe it wasn’t him I was scared of; it was the unknown and the thought that I hurt someone. Now that I remember my meeting with Reina and know full well both of us were victims, Detective Daniels can’t do shit to me.
We stand toe to toe. He’s taller so I have to stare up at him, but that doesn’t reduce my defiant stare.
“You think I’ll give up, you spoiled little girl?”
“Oh, I’m sure you won’t, and I’ll enjoy watching you fail.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Now, where’s my ring?”
“Your ring?”
His brows scrunch as if he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
I motion at the picture. “I wore my engagement ring that night—where is it?”
“We found no ring.”
My heart flutters as I whisper, “So she took it.”
Oh, God.
Reina was trying on my engagement ring and it was a bit loose on her finger, so if she really was hurt or fell unconscious, the ring would’ve slipped off.
Or that’s what I want to believe.
I need to think she kept it because it was precious enough not to throw away.
“She took it?” The detective’s eyes zero in on me like a hawk’s. “Who is she?”
Shit.
I didn’t mean to say that bit of information aloud.
A larger than life presence stops behind me. His warmth envelops me like a cocoon. I don’t even have to look back to know who it is.
“If you’re done, leave,” Asher tells the detective in a firm voice that’s too similar to Alex’s lawyer tone.
“We’re not done.” Something glints in the detective’s eyes. “Miss Ellis here was just telling me about a she.”
“That would be the housekeeper.” Asher wraps an arm around my waist, and it feels more protective than anything he’s ever done before. “Now, leave before I call the other cops on you, the ones who can suspend you.”
Detective Daniels spits on the ground before he yanks the door of his police car open and slides inside. He stares at me through the window for a second too long. “I’ll get you one day, Miss Ellis.”
And then, his car revs up and he drives away.
“Motherfucker.” Asher’s rage-induced voice prickles my skin.
“I’m sorry, sir.” Joe slightly bows his head. “The guard at the gate is new. He didn’t know we don’t allow the police in.”
“It’s okay, Joe.” I smile at him.
Besides, even my security members aren’t allowed to mingle with the police. After all, they’re a legitimate business and can be targeted by the authorities if they make enemies with them.
As soon as Joe disappears inside, Asher spins me around so his arms are surrounding my waist from the front.
His expression is tight and on the verge of hell breaking loose. “Why the fuck were you talking to him? He’s after you, and he’s not someone to be trusted.”
“You think I trust him?”
“Then don’t talk to him.”
“I won’t let him walk all over me or force me into hiding. I did nothing wrong, Ash.”
He sighs with resignation. He’s started to do that every time I call him Ash now. I’m obviously not going to change the way I address him, so he has no choice but to cope with it.
“You have to be careful, for fuck’s sake.” He runs a hand through his jet-black hair. “You keep attracting danger like a magnet. I don’t even know what the fuck to do with you anymore.”
The urge I’ve been resisting since the morning overwhelms me now. I can’t stop it, even if I want to.
My nails dig into his leather jacket and I pull him down as I rise up on my tiptoes. My lips meet his and I plant the kiss I’ve wanted to give him since this morning.
It’s a comforting one, thankful, and everything in between. The fact that he’s worried about me makes me fly out of my skin. It’s like being high on a dopamine rush with no intention of ever coming down.
Asher groans as his strong hand wraps around the small of my back and he slams me against his pelvis.
My soft, slow kiss comes to a halt, and it’s Asher’s turn to claim me, devour me, almost like he did in the middle of the night when he woke me up to have sex.
I love it when he kisses me like he’s been starving for me, like he can’t survive without kissing me.
Asher and I should have been kissing for years.
Why did we take so long to do something so natural?
The clearing of a throat makes me jerk back from his mouth. Asher doesn’t let me go, though, his arm remaining like a cage around my waist.
I forgot we were outside and that Alex could see us. Shit. Just because he’s been keeping quiet about the fact that Asher and I live together doesn’t mean I should give him any ideas.
The one who interrupted us isn’t Alex, though. Jason stands beside his truck, appearing a bit awkward.
I place both palms on Asher’s shoulders and whisper so only he can hear me. “Let me go.”
“Why?” That intense possessive look returns. “You’re my fiancée, remember?”
“Ash.”
“Stop acting like you’re not mine or I’ll prove it right here, right now.”
I gasp, staring at him with incredulity. If I think that’s an empty threat then I’m only fooling myself. He’s crazy enough to do it, damn him.
“Fine, I won’t.” I lower my voice. “Let me go and I’ll do something to prove it.”
He narrows his eyes as if not believing me.
“Trust me.”
I don’t expect him to, since he’s never shown a sign of ever doing that, but he slowly lets me go. For a moment, I’m stunned into silence. Does that mean he does trust me?
No, no, brain. Don’t you dare have any high hopes.
As soon as Asher’s arm falls from my back, I slip my hand into his, threading our fingers together.
He stares at my expression then at our linked hands with slight awe on his face.
“I guess I never did this before either?” I ask.
“You did.” He appears nostalgic as he strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. “When we were thirteen.”
“But not after?”
He shakes his head once.
Damn you, Old Reina.
I pull myself out of that trance and focus on the now. “Let me talk to Jason alone.”
The slight improvement of his mood vanishes, and his hold tightens around my hand. “Fuck. No.”
“Hear me out.”
“No, and that’s final. There’s no fucking way I’m leaving you alone with him.”
This isn’t the time for his jealous possessive episodes, dammit. “We’re friends, Ash. You’re not. Jason will be more comfortable talking to me alone.”
“We’ll do it together or not at all.”
“You’re so fucking stubborn, do you know that?” I glare up at him.
“Not as much as you.”
With that, we both head over to Jason, who has been watching our interaction closely.
“Hey, Reina.” He smiles, his gaze flitting to Asher’s fingers in mine.
“Hey, Jason.” I smile back, trying to dissipate the tension floating in the air. “I was hoping we could talk to you?”
“We?” He appears wary as he glances between me and the tension ball by my side.
“Yes, we,” Asher says with a calm he sure as hell doesn’t feel. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“No.” Jason pauses. “It’s just that I have nothing to talk about with you.”
That’s not good. If Jason means that, he won’t divulge anything in Asher’s presence.
“When it comes to whatever relationship you had with my sister, yes, you do.”
I dig my nails into Asher’s skin, trying to shut him up. I’m sure he sees the way Jason has straightened. He hit a nerve, and if he doesn’t back off right now, we’ll lose our only thread to the truth.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jason maintains his cool façade.
“What did Ari tell you that day?” Asher’s threatening aura might as well have turned into smoke and be looming over us.
“She just told me to take care.”
Asher steps forward and I know he’s about to grab Jason, or worse, smash his fist into his face. He’s provoking him, and Asher has been volatile since the morning. It’s almost similar to the resurfacing of the old Asher with his quick fist and ever-changing moods.
I grab his arm with my free hand and say, “Do you know anything else? Something that could help us in uncovering the reason behind her death?”
Jason lifts a shoulder. “No, not really.”
He’s lying.
Even though there are no obvious tells, I can sense he’s hiding something. As I predicted, he’ll never say it in front of Asher.
Jason smiles at me. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
And with that, he gets into his truck and leaves the mansion.
A sigh tears out of me as I face Asher. “Happy now?”
“Why would I be happy?”
“You just ruined it. I could’ve gotten some answers if you’d let me talk to him alone.”
“That won’t happen, and it’s final.”
Ugh!
I remove my hand from his. “I’m going to say hi to Izzy and Alex.”
Two steps are all it takes before he grabs my arm and pulls me back. I gasp as I trip and nearly fall. Asher straightens me and grips me by the chin, forcing me to stare at those bottomless green eyes.
They’ve been gloomy like a forest under bleak weather today, and while I want to comfort him, his stubbornness is making me rage right now.
“Did you just snap at me?” he asks with a dangerous tone.
“Yes, I did! You’re infuriating. I don’t even know why I…” …keep loving you so much.
Damn. I almost said those words out loud.
What scares me more is how much those words are true, how much I really love him, have always loved him, and how much it hurt to be away from him and know he was never mine in the first place.
I guess I only came to terms with that fact after I lost my memories and gained some sort of freedom.
God, I love him.
I’m in love with him.
I have never felt as attuned to a person as I am to Asher. My orbit keeps turning around him, or rather, I keep floating in his orbit.
Although I don’t remember everything about the past, I remember my connection with him. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to let go after I lost my memories.
“Why you what?” He watches me intently, as if he can crack open my skull and peek into my thoughts.
“Nothing.” I wiggle free. “I’m going to see Izzy.”
If I stay with him one more minute, I might actually say the words out loud and put us both in a position neither of us can afford to be in.
I’ll deal with all these emotions later.
After I find my sister and uncover the truth about Arianna’s death.
Because what I feel for Asher is too raw and deep to be resolved so easily.
He doesn’t stop me this time, and I’m thankful for it.
Izzy greets me at the entrance, her face ashen. She keeps wiping her dry, clean hands on her apron over and over again. Upon seeing me, she reaches into her pocket then quickly shakes her head.
Has she been there all along? Did she see the exchange we had with Jason?
“Hey, Izzy.” I lean in for a hug and she returns it with a stiff smile.
Once we break apart, I notice she’s still watching Asher, who headed back to his car. No surprise there. He has no interest in seeing Alex, and now that he made sure Jason isn’t in the house, he’ll remain in the car until I come out. After all, he only dropped by to be with me—and ward off any one-on-one time with Jason.
“Is Alex here?” I ask as I walk inside.
“Yes…uh…he’s in his office.”
“Thanks, Izzy.” I smile, unsure why she’s in a jerky mood. “Are you okay?”
“Me?” She nearly yells then stops in her tracks by the stairs. Sweat beads on her forehead and she keeps wiping her hands on the apron.
“If there’s something going on, you can tell me.” I face her, softening my voice. “I’ll do whatever I can to help. You’ve done so much for me since I woke up with no memories, and I’ll never forget that.”
A sudden sob tears from her throat and my eyes widen. It’s the first time I’ve seen Izzy out of sorts like this. She is always the epitome of care and kindness.
“Izzy.” I clutch her shoulder. “Please tell me. I want to help.”
“Why did you have to be like this?” She sniffles. “It would’ve been so much easier if you were the old Reina. Ever since I found this, I can’t sleep.”
“Found what?”
“Even though I would give my life for him, I can’t do this to you or to Mr. Carson. He’s my savior and I owe him my life.
“You’re not making any sense, Izzy.”
“Just…just promise me you won’t ruin his entire career, please. Please, Reina.”
“Who—”
I’m cut off when she retrieves something from her apron and shoves it in my hand. “Please. If you care for me even a little, make my wish come true.”
With that, she disappears down the hall. I attempt to chase her but Alex calls to me from up the stairs.
I stare at the small object Izzy has shoved into my hands: a flash drive.
What could all this be about? I guess it has to wait. After tucking the drive into my bag, I join Alex.
In his office, he tells me there’s still no news about Reina. However, he’s close to finding his contact.
That gives me so much hope, I can’t help getting up and hugging Alex. He’s not a warm person per se, but he’s always treated me well on behalf of my dad.
My phone vibrates on my way out of Alex’s office.
Asher: Come out.
The impatience of this man.
Reina: Why don’t you come in?
Asher: The only place I’ll be coming in tonight is your pussy.
My cheeks heat and I’m so glad I already left Alex’s office.
Reina: Asshole.
Asher: Your ass too if you keep tempting me.
God, this man will be the death of me.
Before I step outside, I pull up Instagram and type a message to Cloud003. My chest is uneasy at the thought of doing this behind Asher’s back, but he’s left me no choice.
Jason and I need to talk one on one and solve whatever issues we have. I’m also sure he’ll tell me about Arianna if Asher isn’t around.
Reina-Ellis: Can we meet?
My fingers are stiff as I add the next word.
Reina-Ellis: Please?
I don’t expect him to reply. It’s a stretch, but I’m ready to try every option right now. Not only do I need to clear my name, I also need Asher to let go of the ghosts of the past.
My screen lights up.
Cloud003: Tomorrow. Seven. Blackwood Grand Hotel. Room 1003.
