I was awoken by the smell of smoke. The scent of sage hit my nostrils, making my eyes fly open. Astra was walking around my room in the guest house fanning the smoke over everything. I inhaled. Something sickeningly sweet and earthy was mixed with the sage. I groaned as the last remnants of sleep left me. Astra ignored me, mumbling prayers lightly under her breath.
“What is that?” I peered at the small gray marble bowl she held. It was still dark out, the sun barely coming up as a faint glow filtered through the curtains.
“Sage and frankincense,” she said quickly before going back to mumbling her prayers.
“Knock, knock.” Rab’s voice came from the hallway, and I held my arms over my braless chest. I was wearing a thin white t-shirt and not ready for company.
“Come in.” I guess it was a party in my bedroom at the butt crack of dawn.
Rab stepped in with Sage right behind him. She wore her hair in a topknot and looked super alert and awake. How long had I slept? By the feel of my heavy skin, it was not long.
Why the hell was everyone so perky?
Sage pointed at Rab’s ass and mouthed, “Yum,” causing me to grin.
I would have to break it to her later that he was married.
“You have two hours until the alpha trial ceremony,” Rab said. “I wanted to take that time to give you some bushcraft skills and local plant knowledge to help you survive in the woods.”
And buzzkill. Way to remind me of my possible impending doom.
But there was some relief at his words. This city girl going off into the woods alone could very much use some knowledge of the land. “Thank you, that would be awesome. I’ll be right out.”
He nodded curtly and turned to leave before stopping. “Eat a big breakfast. You don’t know when you’ll have your next meal.”
Then he left.
You don’t know when you’ll have your next meal! That was the most horrifying thing anyone had ever said to me.
“He’s such an angry ball of yum,” Sage purred as she watched Rab head down the hall and I popped out of bed to get dressed.
“He’s married. Wife is preggo and super cool.”
Sage scowled. “Dammit.”
Astra hissed, and it took me a minute to realize why.
“Don’t cuss,” I told Sage.
My redheaded bestie rolled her eyes, and I couldn’t help but think of Raven in that moment. Raven and Sage would be like two peas in a pod, they were so similar. I hoped she was still safe in the bunker with my parents.
I put on breathable cargo pants and a sports bra, a loose top, and Nike tennis shoes Sage had brought me. My official Dark Woods hiking attire was complete with a bandana around my neck.
“What’s up with you and Walsh?” If she was all over Rab, things couldn’t be good.
She frowned. “Nothing. We’re… nothing. He wants to focus on the war and… it’s whatever.” Her eyes glistened with tears and my heart sank into my stomach. Walsh was such a douchebag. Why did he keep playing hot and cold with her?
“Oh, girl, I’m so sorry.” I opened my arms and went to hug her when she put her hands out.
“No hugs! It makes it worse. Everyone knows that. I’m fine. Let’s feed you.” She turned on her heel and spun out of the room.
I frowned. Watching my best friend go through something painful right when I was about to leave made me sad. Hopefully, when I got back, we could all go into the bunker together with Raven and support each other through this war. I just needed to push everything else out of my mind for the time being and focus on one thing.
The alpha trial.
Astra kept praying and waving smoke around me as I ran a brush through my hair and then tied it into a long, thick braid at my back.
“So two hours and then I meet you across the street?” I asked her.
She nodded, never ceasing her mumbling as she wafted smoke into my face, causing me to cough and sputter.
Twenty minutes later, I felt like I was going to puke I was so full. Apparently Sage had woken up early and cooked me a farewell feast. She’d taken powdered eggs, black beans, rice, and shoved them all into a homemade burrito with fresh corn ground tortillas. I’d eaten two of those and promptly regretted the second one.
After chugging water, I met Rab outside where he waited on the porch watching the sun come up.
“How good of a student are you? Can you retain lots of information fairly quickly?” He pushed off the wall he’d been leaning on and I shrugged.
“Yeah, decent. I mean, can I take notes?” Shit, this was starting to stress me out. Would there be a quiz?
He shook his head. “You can’t bring anything into the Dark Woods but the clothes on your back. No weapons, no food, nothing. You must prove that you can become one with nature and live off the land. You must be strong enough for the magic to choose you so that you can lead our people.”
I gulped. “Okay. Yeah, no biggie. Hit me with knowledge.”
He nodded and started to walk, so I followed him. “The first thing you’ll want to do is locate water. Then you’ll want to make a weapon. Multiple weapons. Spears, small knives, big knives, arrows, everything you can. Using one of the knives you make, you can kill an animal for its meat and later skin the hide to use for a bedroll, or most importantly a water canteen.” He pulled something off of his belt and handed it to me.
It was a suede water bladder sewn with a needle and thread. “Study how it’s made so you can do it again,” he told me.
My eyes bugged out as what he said overwhelmed me. We were thirty freaking seconds into this lesson and I was already on information overload. “I can’t bring a water bottle!?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Well, then I’m screwed,” I declared. “I doubt there will be a needle and thread lying around so—”
“Bone, or even deer antlers. It’s very brittle. If you chisel away at it with your knife you can make a needle. Also some wooden sticks can be used as needles. Thread from your clothes or hemp or intestines of an animal—”
An involuntary whimper escaped my throat and Rab turned to me, placing one hand on each of my shoulders. His hard blue eyes peered deeply into my soul as I felt myself actually disappointing him in that moment. It was the heavy sick feeling of total failure.
“You think I want this to be you?” he snapped, gripping my shoulders tightly. “I wish it could be me. You’re the last person who should be going out into the Dark Woods and asking our ancestors to bless you with magic for our people.” His face looked pained, like he might actually cry. “Alpha children train their entire life for the trials, and unfortunately you missed out on that, but the time for weakness has passed. You need to dig deep inside of yourself and find whatever strength you have left. You have to take this seriously.”
I swallowed hard, yanking myself out of his grasp. “I am! But Astra said it’s only a three-day walk there and back. I can find water, drink it, and be back before I need to make a canteen from the kidney of a cow or whatever.”
He scoffed. “That kind of thinking will get you killed. The second you step foot in the Dark Woods, you need to treat it like your new home, like you could be there forever.”
Forever.
“I refuse to do that.” I crossed my arms in defiance, my wolf coming to the surface to glare at him.
I could hear his teeth clamp shut from here. “Then our land dies, our magic dies, and our women go barren. You kill the magic growing inside of my child.”
I staggered backward as if his words had physically reached out and slapped me.
“Never mind. You’re a lost cause.” He huffed and turned to leave.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
He’d gotten up at the ass crack of dawn to teach me how to survive and here I was being a bitch to him.
“Wait, Rab. I’m sorry.” I ran to catch up with him. “You’re right. I need to learn all of this in case I am there longer than the few days I have planned. I’m just… I’m scared, okay? But I am strong, I am ready for this. Please teach me.”
He stopped, looking back at me behind a mess of brown hair.
With a sigh, he turned and pointed to a familiar white root sticking out of the ground. “That’s Ch—”
“Cholka root. Pain reliever,” I told him.
He appraised me with pride. “Maybe there’s hope for you yet, city girl.”
Over the next two hours he showed me which plants and roots and berries were edible and which ones I could rub on the tip of my dart for poison. He went over basic wound care, such as using sunlight to help heal, always using clean water to wash the wound, and he taught me how to make a paste that involved an antibacterial moss and cholka root.
He told me about how to make homemade sunscreen out of clay, and in the end he even showed me how to skin and gut a rabbit.
I only cried three times and threw up once.
I longed for my iPhone, Range Rover, and Instagram then, but knew those days were long behind me.
At the end of the lesson, with only fifteen minutes left, he taught me how to make fire. I’d been rolling the damn stick between my fingers for what seemed like forever. I leaned forward holding the other stick and kindling with my feet, and did some crazy yoga type pose so that I could also blow softly on the sparks that were coming from the sticks rubbing together.
My palms had heated up more than the sticks at this point. “Ughhh, this is too hard. I’ll figure it out later.” I stopped rubbing my hands and looked up at Rab, my not-so-patient teacher.
He consulted his watch. “You have three more minutes, and giving up isn’t an option. Keep going. Fire is one of the most important things you can learn to make. Water, fire, food, shelter,” he said, repeating his little lesson.
With a growl, I started rubbing my hands together, faster this time, vampire fast.
“Come on, you little shits!” I screamed at the wood as sparks flew into the kindling and I huffed slowly. A small tendril of smoke started to wind up the stick and excitement thrummed through me.
Yes! Come on, baby!
I blew harder, and then orange flames flared to life below my palms, causing a yelp of pride to rip from my throat. I looked up at Rab with a giant grin to find him scowling at me with crossed arms.
He shrugged. “Well, I’ve done all I can. Hopefully, you make it back.”
Grumpy ass.
The grin fell from my face and I was about to retort when a loud drum beat from the center of town.
Rab sighed, exhaling deeply before opening his palms to me. “The alpha trial has begun.”
I swallowed hard, standing, and we both walked toward the church building to the sound of beating drums.
Whether it was a good time or not, I needed to check in with Sawyer.
‘Sawyer? I’m going to be heading out in a few minutes. Hopefully we can still talk while I’m there, but… just in case… how are things there?’
I felt his anxiety through our bond. ‘Hey, love. Sorry I had to have them take you away like that. Being in the Paladin lands right now is best for you. It’s getting bad here.’
I understood why he had to do what he did even if I didn’t like it. From my short amount of time kidnapped by the vampires, I could see their dark plans for me, and I had no intention of allowing them to do that. Like Sawyer said, we’d be dealing with an entirely different beast altogether.
‘How bad is it there?’
He paused. I could feel him wanting to hide whatever this was from me. ‘Sawyer, how bad?’
‘We’re losing, Demi. At some point, I need to choose between letting all of my men die just to say I tried to fight until the very end, or make the call to get everyone in the bunker and give up. It’s still secret and safe. The witches have shielded it from roaming eyes. Only wolves can see the entrance.’
My heart felt heavy at his words, and the fact that I wasn’t there to help. Knowing that just giving myself up to the vampires could end the attack weighed heavily on me. ‘The Ithaki broke a peace treaty and attacked here last night,’ I told him. ‘They may attack while I’m gone…’
Even though I wasn’t alpha of the Paladins yet, I already felt an enormous responsibility to keep them safe.
‘Tell them they can come to the bunker if things get bad there. I can have some of the witches get them in unnoticed,’ Sawyer said.
That was a very kind offer, one I was going to tell Rab about.
‘I’ll tell them. And … Sawyer?’
‘Yes, my wife?’
My throat constricted then. ‘This is the shittiest honeymoon I’ve ever had.’
He chuckled throatily, and the sound reverberated in my head, making my anxiety ease for a short time. ‘I love your sense of humor as much as your pouty lips.’
I smiled. ‘But seriously, I want to tell you something. It’s not giving up if you chose to save your men. Buildings can be rebuilt, lives can’t be brought back from the dead.’
I felt those words strike true inside of him.
‘I know. I just … my first week as alpha and I’ve let everyone down. Our entire city will be a wasteland by the time this is over.’
I felt his failure, his disappointment, through the bond. He wanted to be a stronger alpha for his people, but he was given a shitty situation and he’d done the best he could with that.
‘If it’s a wasteland, we will rebuild with the Paladins, together, stronger than before, and we will have the defector witches too. We will be a safe haven for magical creatures who have nowhere to go.’
‘You have big ideas, love. I’m just not that optimistic right now as I hide in a carved out dirt hole in the ground and magic bombs go off around me.’
Sadness seeped into my soul. I could feel him dancing with depression. ‘Then I’ll be optimistic for the both of us. Get our people into the bunker, and I’ll meet you there in three days’ time, okay?’
We’d reached the church now and the drums beat wildly, pulling my attention from Sawyer. Hundreds of Paladins were out on the lawn, and pride swelled in my chest when I saw that they were dressed in their finest clothes. They’d dressed up for me.
‘Just give up?’ Sawyer sounded lost, defeated.
‘No. Live to fight another day,’ I told him.
He sighed. ‘You’re right … we can’t win this. We need to regroup. I’ll make the call to get everyone down to the bunker and then instruct Eugene to bring you back to me in three days’ time.’
I smiled. ‘Honeymoon in a bunker sounds kind of romantic.’
I could feel his desperate urge to keep me safe, so strong it was suffocating. ‘Come back to me, Demi.’
‘I promise,’ I assured him, and then let Rab direct me over to the group of people who believed I would be strong enough to keep their magic alive.
As we stepped over to them, I let go of Sawyer and Wolf City and everything we’d just talked about. I trusted that Sawyer could take care of them, because I had my own issues with the Paladins to work out.
The hundreds of Paladin people were bent forward, banging wildly on their drums settled between their legs. The women’s hair were braided neatly, with golden thread tying off the ends. They wore bright orange and red silks and vibrant blues. Small bone ornaments of different animals adorned their wrists. Sage stood behind the crowd, looking on at them in interest as Walsh and Eugene stood even farther back, watching it all with curious expressions. When I finally reached the crowd, the drums boomed one final time before stopping completely.
Small, timid Astra looked like a confident queen as she strode over to me. Her hair was slicked back into a small ponytail at the nape of her neck. It was tied off with a stripe of suede, and at the end hung stained bone beads in black and blue and gold. She’d rubbed some beetroot into her cheeks and on her lips, because they were stained a vibrant and pretty red. She looked beautiful. Wearing a long blue silk sari type of wrap dress, she bowed to me deeply. “Alpha.”
I grinned, knowing now that she wasn’t supposed to call me that until I’d proved myself. That every time she did, it was in a direct defiance to Rab and the haters, showing support for me.
“Priestess.” I bowed back.
When she stood, she straightened and faced the crowd around us. “Today, Demi will begin the alpha trial,” Astra shouted. “Daughter of Running Spirit, granddaughter of Red Moon, she will leave her city ways behind and embrace nature, battle the beast of the Dark Woods, and claim the magic at the sacred cave in order to restore our people and our land!” Cheers of agreement rang out within the crowd.
Wait, battle the beast of the Dark Woods? Nobody said anything about that…
“From now on, she will be known to us as Spirit Moon.” Astra bowed deeply again and my throat pinched with emotion. Running Spirit and Red Moon. She’d given me a name that was a combination of the two men who I never got to meet but had a big part in why I was alive and here.
“Spirit Moon!” the crowd yelled, “Spirit Moon!”
Astra clapped her hands together and blue sparkly mist burst from her palms. The crowd fell into a hushed silence. The priestess crossed the lawn quickly and held her hands out, placing them on the top of my head.
“May the Father bless you and guide you, and may you return home to us quickly. I pray that your body is strong enough to be a vessel for our people’s magic and that you will only get stronger with each day that you are away.”
Leaning forward, she kissed my forehead and I had to swallow down my emotions.
I might not be religious or whatever, but she had clearly put a lot of effort into that prayer, which was super sweet, and I was grateful.
“Thank you, Astra.”
Reaching behind her back, she brandished a small dagger. The handle was made of curved bone, and light glinted off of the blade’s razor-sharp, steel edge. “This was Red Moon’s. He would want you to have it, and you can take one family heirloom into the trial.”
My gaze glanced to Rab and he nodded. With that, I took the blade, grateful to have it, and stuck it into the belt at my waist.
Willow was among the drumming women, pregnant belly hanging over the rim of the drum. When I met her gaze, she gave me a nod.
“I won’t let you down!” I yelled loudly for all to hear me. “I’ll be back in three days with enough magic to light this place up like Christmas.”
One by one, they put a fist over their chest in a sign of respect, and then Astra, Rab and Sage led me away.
It was time.
We walked in companionable silence for a good thirty minutes, the whole time the drumming behind us getting softer and softer in the distance. The woods became thicker, darker, and a stench bled into the air as we neared what I assumed was the Dark Woods. The trees were gnarled, drier, and creepier here than in the Paladin Village. It was also colder. I was going to freeze here at night!
Rab came to an abrupt stop, facing me. “This is as far as we can go.” He pointed to a flat stone that was inset into the dirt. “Dark Woods. Alphas only. Enter at your own risk.”
Great.
I could still hear the drumming faintly.
“Someone will play the drums every hour on the hour for five minutes every day that you are gone to help you find your way home,” Astra told me.
Wow, that was … a commitment. I nodded to her in thanks as Sage stepped forward.
“And I’ll wait a week before I come in after your ass,” Sage announced.
Rab’s eyes widened. “Don’t do that. These woods are cursed. Only a Paladin alpha can survive them. You wouldn’t last a day.”
Sage crossed her arms, glaring him down. “Cursed how? Some trees are going to know that I’ve stepped foot inside and kill me?”
Astra shared a nervous look with Rab, her eyes tracing the scar along his cheek.
“I was dared to go into the Dark Woods when I was younger.” Rab swallowed hard and then reached up with one finger, tracing the line of his scar. “Let’s just say the trees didn’t appreciate that. They attacked me.”
Sage stifled a laugh. “A tree attacked you? Sounds like you fell.”
Rab shook his head, casting an irritated glance at her. “It moved, whacked me across the face the second I entered. Right over there.” He pointed to a pile of rocks just behind the warning sign.
“Okay, no need for this talk,” I assured everyone as Sage stared at the stack of rocks with a frown. “I’m coming right back.”
“Of course you will,” Sage agreed, and I loved her for her positivity in that moment.
I cleared my throat. “But first, Rab, I wanted to talk to you about something…”
He gave me a side-glance. “What is it?”
I could feel Sage and Astra’s attention shift to us. There was no way of hiding this conversation, so I decided to just come out with it: “It looks like Sawyer is going to have to surrender in order to save everyone. He’s going to take the rest of the city wolves into a large underground bunker that’s hidden from all eyes that aren’t wolf.”
Rab frowned. “That’s a hard call, but a strong one to make.”
I nodded and faced him. “You should take everyone there and get them in the bunker too. Join the city wolves and regroup. Then when I get down there, we can all come up with a—”
“Join the city wolves? Leave our land?” he scoffed. “Is this the kind of alpha you will be? One that runs underground at the first sign of trouble?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “First sign of trouble! You saw what happened last night. We nearly got a bomb dropped on us. Then the Ithaki attacked us. If it gets like that here, you need to get our people into the bunker!”
He sighed, and something dark crossed his face. “I’ll leave it as a last resort. I sent three thousand more men to help Sawyer this morning. Surely we can win the war with that.”
Three thousand more? That was great, and a lot, but I just didn’t know if it was enough. “Maybe.”
Rab placed two hands on my shoulders. “It will be my honor to call you alpha when you return. Just remember … giving up isn’t an option.” He squeezed my shoulders and I smiled.
That was all I was going to get out of him.
Astra hugged me as Rab stepped aside. “I’ll pray for you every day.”
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tightly as love and respect filtered through our bond. When she pulled back, we both wiped our eyes, and then Sage was standing before me. I’d thought about this moment, this goodbye, all morning. Reaching onto my left hand, I pulled off my wedding ring and slipped it onto Sage’s ring finger. “Keep it safe for me?”
Her lips pursed into a thin line as tears ran down her cheeks, and she nodded quickly.
“Hurry back, bitch. I love you.” Sage pulled me in for a tight hug and we both broke into small sobs.
When we pulled away, I wiped her eyes and she wiped mine. “Sage … If I’m not back—”
“No,” she growled.
I sighed. “Just take care of Sawyer, okay?”
She nodded, and I knew that I couldn’t delay this any longer. Backing slowly into the Dark Woods, I raised my hand and waved to them.
“I’ll be back in three days!” I shouted to everyone. Rab just gave me a look that said: Yeah, right, but Astra and Sage nodded, waving me off.
I got this. Anyone could endure three days of hell.
Right?
