“How’s living with Kar?” Caleb asked, maneuvering the car through morning rush-hour traffic.
“I love it.”
“Not too much, I hope. I want you back home.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling.
God. This boy. I missed this. I missed him. I hadn’t realized how much until he was gone. And now that I had his hand in mine again, I wanted to hold on and never let go. He stroked my palm absently with his thumb, unaware he was doing it.
Last night when we walked on the beach, he’d smell my hair or tug on it gently, or kiss my shoulder, or stroke my arm. Sweet little gestures that filled my heart and choked me up to the point of tears. I had taken those for granted before, but now they were everything to me.
I cherished every one of them.
I blew out a breath to relieve the pressure I felt inside.
“Caleb?”
“Yes, love?”
All these sweet names he was throwing at me made my heart flutter.
The window was halfway open, and the morning breeze blew his bronze hair back, framing his gorgeous face. His jaw was square, his cheekbones so sharp that I wanted to trace them with my fingers.
“What is it?”
I blinked. “What?”
He threw me a knowing smile. “You going to tell me what’s on your mind, Red?” His voice was low. “Or are you just going to stare at me all day?”
Caught. Damn it.
I wanted to stay in the car with him, in this bubble where all that mattered was us. But reality was knocking—loudly.
I debated what to tell him. I definitely wanted to mention Beatrice-Rose possibly sneaking inside his apartment. It was an ugly invasion of his privacy, and he had a right to know. How much should I tell him, though? So many things had happened.
“What is it?” he asked after he’d parked his car in front of Kara’s apartment. “I can keep secrets,” he added teasingly.
He lifted my hand, folding all my fingers but my pointer, and slowly traced an X on his chest with it. His eyes were so green, so deep and intense as they looked into mine. “Cross my heart,” he whispered and brought my finger to his lips. Kissed it. “Hope to die.”
I was on the brink of hyperventilating.
“Red? Wanna share your secret now?”
What secret? My mind had turned into mush.
He looked out the window. “I don’t want to repeat what happened between us.” When he looked back at me, his eyes were serious. “It was hell without you.”
My breath caught. “It was hell for me too.”
“So tell me what’s bothering you.”
I wasn’t used to telling anyone my fears or problems. I wasn’t used to telling anyone anything. But this was Caleb. The time we were apart made me realize how much of my life he had claimed. Before, I had been afraid of giving him too much of myself. I’d resisted giving him more because I was afraid he would destroy what I gave him and I’d end up with nothing—like my mother.
What I learned from Caleb is that I didn’t want anything back.
It was his to keep—all of me.
“Does anyone besides me and your mom know the code to get into your apartment?”
“No,” he answered. “Just you and Mom. Why?”
“That night I came over to your place, I saw Beatrice-Rose walking out of the elevator.”
Caleb let out a low expletive. “She knows it. I gave it to her a long time ago. I actually forgot until you brought it up. Damn it. I’ll change it as soon as I get home. She’s also friendly with the guards, and they know who she is. I’ll have to talk to them too.” Frustrated, he raked his hand through his hair, and then his eyes darkened. “Did she harass you again?”
I bit my lip.
How much should I tell him?
I had been taking care of myself for so long. I had kept everything inside and fought everything alone for so long that I still found it hard to talk about my problems.
Besides, I didn’t want to sound whiny. But this was Caleb.
Baby steps, Veronica. Baby steps.
“Not at the time. But have you been back to your place since you got back from the cabin?”
“Yes.”
“Was anything missing?”
“Not that I know of.” He narrowed his eyes. “What are you not telling me?”
He knew me so well.
I opened the car door. “Let’s go inside.”
“Can I see your bedroom?” he asked as soon as we entered Kara’s house, toeing off his shoes beside the door.
My heart started to beat wildly. I swallowed. “Sure.”
I walked ahead of him, taking a deep breath before opening my bedroom door. I stepped inside without looking behind me and headed to my closet to get a change of clothes for my shower.
“I miss seeing your things. I miss the smell of the place when you’re baking or cooking. I miss the peanut butter in the fridge. It’s not the same when you’re not there. It feels empty.”
I turned around. He was lying in my bed, his arms behind his head, his ankles crossed as he watched me.
“Lie down with me?”
I wanted to. So badly, but… “I have to get ready, Caleb.”
“We have time. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything. I just want to hold you. And ask you a few questions,” he added.
“What questions?”
He turned onto his side. “All right, let’s do it my way, shall we, Red?”
“What do you mean?”
“I know you’ve got something you want to tell me. Let’s do Twenty Confessions.”
“What?”
“It’s a game. Twenty Confessions. Instead of questions, they’ll be confessions.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. He just grinned.
“What if I have nothing to confess?” I asked.
He just raised his brows.
“How about confessions or questions?” I suggested.
“All right then. Lie down with me, Red,” he cajoled, patting the spot beside him. “I promise I won’t bite. Please?” He smiled, dimples winking at me.
“Fine.”
I stretched out beside him, my back to him. His arm wrapped around my stomach as he tucked my head under his chin.
“You feel right. So right.” He smelled my hair, then kissed it. “Ladies first.”
“No, you go first.”
He didn’t hesitate. “That night at the club—behind the club, when I saw you with Damon—I thought you’d moved on and forgotten about me.” His voice had become quiet and soft.
“No, Caleb.”
“I thought you and him were together. I waited for you to come to me, to let me know that it was still me. It was still me you wanted.”
“It’s still you. It’s only you.”
I felt him relax behind me. “I thought maybe you wanted to come to me, but he was stopping you. I was seriously debating whether I should run him over.”
A strangled laugh escape my throat. “No, Caleb. That’s not how it is with him at all. Last night, Damon was the one who texted me and told me you were at the club. He said, ‘Come get your boyfriend.’”
“Really? Well, maybe I’ll just run over his toe. Your turn,” he murmured in my ear.
“I…” I cleared my throat. “When you called me by my name…it hurt.”
His arm tightened around me.
“It’s ridiculous. It’s my name, but you always call me Red. You had never once called me by my name until that day. And it hurt.” I blew out a breath. “Your turn.”
“Don’t be sad, baby.”
“I’m not anymore.”
“You’ll always be Red to me.” He paused. “I have a question. How many times did you come over to my apartment?”
I shook my head. “Nuh-uh. Not telling you that.”
“Admit it. You’re crazy about me, Red.”
“You sound so sure, hotshot.”
“I am. You’ve probably made an altar to me already, haven’t you? You probably have naked pictures of me or something.”
I laughed. “In your dreams.”
“Was it more than once?”
I nodded.
“I knew it. I can give you a lock of my hair, if you like. To add to your collection.”
When I didn’t respond, he gently tugged my shoulder and turned me around so we faced each other.
“What is it, Red? I know something is still bothering you.”
“I bought you a present.”
The worry in his eyes disappeared as his face broke into a grin.
It made me feel angrier about what Beatrice-Rose had done. “I bought it that night after you drove Beatrice-Rose home. And I put it on your bedside table.”
He frowned. “I didn’t see anything there.”
“I know.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Do you remember when I told you I saw Beatrice-Rose come out of the elevator at your place?”
He nodded.
“The other day, Kara and I were meeting some friends at a café. I saw her and Justin there. She had the same thing I bought for you in her hand—the exact same thing.”
His eyes turned hard and cold.
“Caleb, forget about it. It wasn’t expensive. It was just a token. I’ll get you another one.”
“No.” His tone was firm, final. “It’s one thing to invade my privacy, but for her to steal from me—especially a present from my girl—is unforgivable. Don’t ask me to let this go. I won’t.”
“Caleb.”
“Red. You’ve never given me a gift before. Do you really think I would let this go?”
“This is what she wants. Don’t you see? She wants you to confront her so she can keep in contact with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re angry or happy or hateful. She just wants a connection with you. She’s obsessed. Caleb, please don’t.”
He gritted his teeth. “I can’t promise anything.”
“Just promise me that you’ll think about it. This is important to me.”
His nod was imperceptible.
Was this what would happen if I opened up to him? If he was angry about this, he would be spitting mad if I told him what had happened at the café.
I held his face in my hands, felt the rough texture of his unshaven jaw, kissed his lips lightly. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad at you.”
“I know. But don’t be mad at all.” I kissed him again.
He didn’t respond. He was still in a funk over the gift. So I kept kissing his lips, his cheeks, his nose until his body relaxed and he was kissing me back.
I slapped his arm playfully. “Okay. I need to shower now. If you want coffee, there should be some in the kitchen.”
“You can’t go yet.” He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me back in the bed. On top of him. “Did anyone ever tell you to finish what you started?”
“Caleb,” I warned.
“Red.”
Laughter danced in his eyes. I recognized the glint, and I quickly scooted off the bed before he started piling on the charm and kisses. I really couldn’t be late to class today.
Avoiding his gaze, I grabbed my change of clothes and hurried to the bedroom door. I could feel his eyes on me, could imagine the naughty smile on his beautiful face. As I closed the door behind me, I thought I heard him say chicken.
I showered in haste, brushing my teeth at the same time. Even after blow-drying my hair for ten minutes, it still wasn’t dry, so I just tied it in a knot on top of my head. I slipped into my jeans and a white top with lace on the collar and hem and slapped on some powder and lip gloss.
I still felt tired from the all-nighter, but the shower refreshed me. When I walked into my bedroom, I found Caleb asleep on my bed.
He was lying on his stomach, his arms folded under his cheek. His hair covered his eyes, and I brushed it back gently so as not to wake him. He looked so peaceful, his boundless energy absent in sleep. Dark circles hung under his eyes from lack of sleep, but it didn’t take away from the perfect handsomeness of his face.
I kissed his forehead, stroked his face tenderly. I grabbed my alarm from my bedside table and set it, making sure he would have enough time to go back to his place and get ready for his class at one. I wrote a short note for him, then boarded the bus and went to school.
* * *
I let out a deep breath as I left the theater hall. My wrist ached from writing review notes from all three of my classes, but I felt in control and confident for finals.
What was Caleb doing now?
I was smiling as I searched my bag for my phone, wondering if he had texted me. I couldn’t wait to see him again.
I was about to check my messages when I heard a commotion near the multipurpose room. When I heard someone shout Caleb’s name, adrenaline and fear flooded my veins and I ran.
I watched in horror as Caleb wrapped a hand around Justin’s throat and shoved him against the wall. The loud bang echoed in the hallway.
Caleb’s face was livid, his green eyes dark with anger. He lifted Justin a few inches off the floor. I could see Justin’s face turning blue as he tried to gasp for air but couldn’t. And then Caleb spoke quietly, dangerously.
“If I even hear you say her name, you’re dead, motherfucker.”
