I was so exhausted that I had trouble sleeping. The last time I’d had more than five hours of sleep was the night before I went hunting, as Kara eloquently put it, at the club to get Caleb back.
It didn’t make sense. Shouldn’t I be able to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow? My body might be depleted of energy, but my mind wouldn’t stop worrying.
Caleb had beaten up Justin because of me. He went to jail because Justin or Beatrice-Rose had set him up. Again, because of me.
And now his mom was upset with him because of me. I knew how much Caleb loved his mom, and the thought of her disliking me was depressing.
She was right, though. All the bad things that had happened to Caleb were because of me.
You bring nothing but bad luck. I should have picked the other kid to adopt. Tanya and I would still be together if not for you.
My dad’s voice echoed in my mind. Of all the hurtful things he had said to me, this one hurt the most. This one I could never forget. Maybe because deep down, I knew he was right.
I love you, Red.
Caleb’s voice drowned out my dad’s. I hugged my pillow tighter, wishing he were here. But even when he wasn’t, the thought of him made me smile. He was always taking care of me. But most of all, he loved me. I believed that now. No matter how many demons chased me in the dark, he was the light at the end of the tunnel.
I nearly jumped when I heard a noise near my window. I grabbed the copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone that was lying on my bedside table, intending to use it as a weapon if necessary. When I heard the noise again, I quietly tiptoed over to the window.
Rocks. Someone was throwing rocks at my bedroom window.
I opened the window and stared down, mouth slightly agape.
He was here.
“Caleb?”
“Hi, Red,” he whispered, a sheepish grin on his handsome face.
Butterflies exploded in my stomach.
He had changed his clothes and looked incredible in a simple, white V-neck T-shirt that showed off his arm muscles, ripped jeans, and Nikes. He wore a dark beanie that pushed his bronze hair back from his face.
He stood below my window, his feet planted apart, gazing up at me with one arm up as if he was about to throw another rock.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed, trying my best to stuff down the delight I was feeling.
“I miss you.”
I had to hold on to the wall to keep myself from jumping out the window into his arms. Yeah, a little overdramatic, but that was how he made me feel.
This was insane.
“What are you wearing?” he asked.
I choked on a laugh.
“Can I come in?”
“Were you throwing rocks at my window?”
He nodded, still grinning.
“Ever heard of calling on the phone?” I teased.
“Yeah, but I want to charm you,” he replied. “Isn’t it sweeter if I throw rocks at your bedroom window? Besides, you never answer my texts.”
“I…” I looked behind me to search for my phone. Where did I put it?
“Can I climb up to your bedroom window now?” There was a naughty gleam in his eyes.
“How about I let you in through the front door like a normal human being?”
He winked. “That works too, but how about you meet me in the backyard? I brought you something.”
I bit my lip to keep from giggling. This was ridiculous. “Okay.”
I looked down at my exposed legs, wondering if I should change. I wore a tank top and really, really tiny red shorts. Caleb would certainly love this outfit. Before I could stop myself, I rushed outside as quickly and quietly as I could.
When I opened the door, Caleb was standing in the yard. The soft light from the porch illuminated his frame. My breath caught as I spotted a huge bouquet of lavender lilacs in his hands that nearly hid his whole torso.
“These are for you, my Red.”
In a daze, I stepped out. His green eyes were so focused on me that I felt my heart trip. And I fell a little deeper in love.
He must have seen it on my face. His eyes widened slightly, and he opened his arms for me. I stepped into them, wrapping my arms around him, burying my face in his chest and inhaling his familiar scent.
“I miss you,” I said softly.
He rested his chin on top of my head, his arms tightening around me. “Say it again,” he requested.
“I miss you, Caleb.”
I felt him sigh. His shoulders relaxed as if a heavy weight had fallen from them.
“You make me happy when you say that,” he said.
“I’m sorry I don’t say it often.”
“It’s okay. We’ll work on it.” He moved away briefly and placed the flowers on a bench. His body swayed as he held me again, as if we were dancing. “Practice makes perfect. Now say, ‘I love you, Caleb.’”
I laughed quietly. “I love you, Caleb.”
I felt him nod in approval. “Good. You get an A. Now say ‘Caleb is the best’—ow!”
I bit his chest.
“What’d you do that for? Now you get a B minus.”
I was smiling. I couldn’t seem to stop. He was the best. I rubbed the spot where I’d bitten him. We danced for a moment, the sweet fragrance of the lilacs surrounding us.
“I got you lilacs because of what they represent,” he murmured in my ear.
I shivered when I felt the warmth of his breath. “What do they mean?”
“First love.”
I felt my heart stutter.
“You’re my first love, Red. And my last.”
My heart felt full, like it was about to burst. Like it was too big for my body. I wanted to find the right words to express what I was feeling, just like he always found the perfect way to express himself to me.
But I couldn’t.
So I just rested my cheek on his chest, right over his heart, and squeezed my arms tighter around him.
I sighed, feeling safe, content, and loved—for the first time in my life.
“I love you, Caleb,” I murmured, meaning every word.
