I curled up on my side and studied Viktor’s profile. He was lying on his back, and his eyes were shut. His straight nose and masculine jawline made his profile a thing of beauty. I guess, in some ways, this entire journey had been leading up to tonight, but it still shocked me that I had slept with Viktor.
Not only that, I had initiated it. He had kissed my neck on the bed and then casually and abruptly left me lying there, feeling unwanted. It always baffled me that, while I was almost overpowered by this magnetic connection between us, Viktor had seemed immune to it. I had stripped naked and followed him into his shower in part, I think, to see if that connection was just on my side. What had followed was one of the most glorious sexual encounters of my life.
The level of intimacy that Viktor demanded had shocked me. He had stripped me of all my defenses, both physically and emotionally, and then responded by cherishing and protecting my vulnerability in a way that felt both real and beautiful.
But that had been in a heightened moment of passion. Now, in the aftermath, I was watching him for cues about how things would settle between us.
With a wince, he rolled onto his side so he could look into my eyes. He reached out and gently smoothed the hair back from my face. It was an unexpectedly tender gesture.
I tried to imagine a future, one that went past tomorrow, when our lives returned to normal. If that ever happened, would we stay in touch? Would he show up at my place with a case of beer and a pack of condoms?
And if he did, would I invite him in? Maybe I would open the door and, without saying hello, he’d pin me against the hallway table, push up my skirt, and show me exactly how much he’d missed me.
“Did you and the gardener’s grandson ever get it on?” His question interrupted my thoughts.
“No, we never got past awkwardly greeting each other.”
He leaned toward me so he could nuzzle my neck. “Good.”
His teeth scraped the delicate skin, and my entire body shuddered in response. The way he touched me, the way he had repeatedly pushed me to the brink of ecstasy, had conditioned my body to respond to the slightest touch. Now, with one look, one hot kiss on my neck, my body was ready for whatever he offered.
He lifted his head. “What happened to him?”
“To Ben?” I frowned. “His father now does my grandmother’s gardens. I think Ben became a lawyer, but I’m not sure.”
“You ever talk to him?”
I don’t know why his questions pleased me so much, but they did. “No. Why do you want to know about Ben?”
He pretended to be serious. “Obviously he’s my biggest competition.”
Laughter spilled out of me.
He growled. “You think I’m joking.”
I know you’re joking.” I understood his tactics. Viktor was teasing me about an unlikely future because it was easier to pretend we had a future than face the reality that tomorrow might be the end.
Tomorrow we might die.
That truth loomed over us like a dark shadow, leaving me filled with uncertainty and an ambiguous dread. So I was more than happy to play along with his games.
“Who’s my competition?”
His smile was so relaxed I almost didn’t recognize him. “No one.”
“Come on. What about all those women you go on dates with?”
“Few and far between.”
My eyes scanned over his beautiful face. Since we were talking fantasy, I decided to go for it. “If we get through this, I want to take you on a vacation.”
I thought he’d instantly refuse. Instead, he moved, rolling so he was on top of me. He captured my face between his hands and kissed me lightly on the lips. “What kind of vacation?”
“Tropical destination. White sandy beaches. Big fluffy king-sized bed. Private hot tub.”
“And Jet Ski competitions?”
He nestled himself between my open legs, and suddenly my body ached to have him back inside of me.
“Or some alternative dangerous adventure.”
He smiled against my lips. “Or we could just stay in bed so I could do this to you all day.”
“Do what?” I breathed, hoping he meant what I thought he did.
As an answer, he shifted to the side and slowly slid one hand up my thigh and back down again. I lay there, fixated on his touch as his hand stroked up and down my thigh, going just a bit higher each time.
The first time his knuckles grazed my clit, my hips came completely off the bed. His big hand stroked all the way down my inner thigh before climbing higher and higher.
Finally, his long fingers slid into me and, without ceremony, curled inside me. Within seconds, he had expertly located my G-spot.
“Oh dear god,” I breathed, as my head fell back.
He watched me with an unreadable expression as he controlled all of me. “You know why I like to finger-fuck you?”
I loved the dirty talk. I managed to gasp, “Why?”
“Because it reminds you that I’m in charge.”
“No.” I shook my head, knowing it would only make him take charge more.
He smiled, catching on to my game, but he obliged. He did things to me with his fingers that made me nearly lose my mind.
And only when I was a quivering, shaking mess did he speak, low in my ear. “Who’s in control of your body now, Blaire?”
I could barely form the words. “You are.”
He flipped me up to straddle him. My head fell back when I felt his hard cock slowly push into me.
After that, the only noises coming out of me were inaudible.
He made me come twice more before he followed me with a long string of Russian.
I woke up to the sound of water running. I was naked and lying facedown across the bed. I lifted my head and looked around the room. Daylight streamed in from behind the closed curtains.
I gingerly sat up. My body felt stiff in places I didn’t know it could be stiff.
Viktor had one thing right—the man knew his way around the bedroom. He had brought my body to a point of such intensity that one orgasm would be ending just as my next one began. And he kept me in that state for hours.
It had been the greatest night of my life, and I hadn’t wanted it to end, but he had sexually satiated me to the point that I’d all but passed out.
I looked around the room.
And now we had to face the last day of our journey.
No matter what happened, I dreaded that this was the end of us.
I heard the water shut off, and a few moments later Viktor opened the door. He was wearing a white towel low on his hips.
He was magnificently male, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his injuries.
“How are you still standing?” I asked him, my eyes lifting to his face.
The swelling around his eye had lessened, but now his skin showed heavy bruising.
He stood and stared down at my body with an unreadable expression. “We should get ready, Blaire. The boat docks in less than two hours.”
I was a bit shocked that the inscrutable Russian soldier was back. “Okay.”
I stood up to move past him, not bothering to cover myself up. I bent over my bag to find some clean clothes.
A noise squeaked out of me when he spun me around and pinned my arms behind me. I felt myself shudder in anticipation when his rough voice spoke into my ear. “Don’t try to distract me, Blaire. We don’t have time for your antics today.”
I could feel his hardness pressing up against my buttocks from beneath the towel. “I wasn’t trying to distract you.”
His mouth moved along the back of my neck. His hand grazed over the tips of my nipples. “This is a distraction.”
My body arched as his hand dropped between my legs. “So is this.”
I squirmed with anticipation and then let out a frustrated noise when he stepped away from me, taking with him his strength, his warmth and his tongue. “Go shower.”
I slowly soaped and washed my aching body, and then I blew my hair dry until it swung around my face in a curtain. I got dressed, but when I got out of the shower, the room was empty. There was a note on the foot of the bed.
Went to call Drake. Don’t leave the room.
When he got back to the room, he was silent and uncommunicative.
“What happened?”
“I booked us a flight home tonight.”
It seemed surreal that tonight we would fly back to Vancouver and return to our old lives. I studied him, wondering if, after this was over, he would want to see me as badly as I wanted to see him. “What did Drake say?”
“Not much. He just said that we should walk onto the boat and you would somehow know where to look for the USB drive.”
“I don’t know,” I burst out. “I don’t know anything about my grandfather’s company or this ship.”
“That’s why I’m going to meet the ship alone and take my chances.”
I sat there, incredulous. “No.”
“You can wait here, and I’ll get what we need, and then we can get you home.”
I stood up in protest. “But you don’t even know where to look.”
“Neither do you.”
“Drake said I’d know.”
He turned and faced me. “Today is probably a trap. Even if we get off that ship, someone is likely going to take us out. This is the end of the line, Blaire.”
I had a vision of Viktor’s lifeless body crumpling from a faraway gunshot. The thought horrified me. “No.”
“You can wait here for three hours. If I’m not back, get your ass to the Canadian embassy until someone can get you safely home.”
The thought of Viktor no longer being alive was impossible to process. I felt angry tears build up behind my eyes. “That’s not how this is supposed to work.”
He looked equally pissed. “That’s how it’s going to be.”
I was more than scared—I was borderline terrified of what awaited us at the ship. But I would never forgive myself if I let him do this alone. “The second you leave, I’m going to follow you in a cab.”
“You think I’m not going to make sure you don’t?”
“Will you tie me up and leave me vulnerable to anyone who comes along?” I argued back. “You told me on the cargo plane that you would never let that happen again. You promised.”
Frustration marred his expression. “We don’t both have to die.”
I stood, and picked up my bag. “I’m getting to that ship one way or another. I think I’d be safer with you at my side, but if you make me, I’ll figure out a way to get there alone. It’s up to you.”
He inhaled deeply before growling, “Let’s go.”
The massive ship was docked at the cargo port. The taxi slowly pulled up alongside it. Above us, multiple red cranes stood frozen and silent. There were no trucks lined up, no operations indicating that they were disembarking any of their goods.
While Viktor paid the driver, I looked out the back window of the cab. Further down the dock, I could see some cranes operating, and there was an odd truck that drove by, but for the most part, this side of the dock was deserted.
“Seems quiet.”
Viktor was looking over his shoulder. He didn’t look happy. “Ready?”
Now was the moment of truth. Would some sniper from over a mile away take me out the moment I showed my face? The blessing was that I probably wouldn’t even see the end coming. I would just be here, and then I would be gone.
Viktor patiently waited for me to find my courage to get out of the taxi.
“I feel like I should say something important to mark this moment.”
“Why?”
“In case it’s the end.”
“Really?”
“I’m serious. This is important.”
He let out a slow breath out of his nostrils. “Fine. Let’s hear it.”
The only words chanting in the back of my mind were I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, but saying that out loud felt like stating the obvious.
My gaze was glued to Viktor’s handsome features. His eyes looked bleak and his expression was flat, completely devoid of emotion. I wondered if he knew how profoundly he had changed my life. Did he know how much I appreciated how he had taken care of me and kept me safe? How many times, when I was afraid, had he lent me his courage to get through the worst of it? Not to mention last night—and, hands down, the best sex of my life.
I wished I could convey all of that to him, but Viktor didn’t look like he’d appreciate the sentiment. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you.”
He stared at me for a full three seconds before he leaned in and gave me a hard, lingering kiss that made my head spin. “Then don’t.”
That kiss made me so damn happy. “Okay, I’m ready now.”
“You can do this. Just stay close to me.”
We got out of the cab, and nothing happened.
The taxi pulled away, and, in silence, we walked over to the external cage elevator that would take us to the height of the ship’s deck.
I watched as Viktor lifted the grill elevator door and shut it behind us before hitting a button that carried us up four stories. We didn’t speak as the elevator clanked and chugged, slowly moving us to the top. It jerked to a stop. Viktor raised the gate, stepped out and looked back at me, holding out his hand.
With trembling fingers, I reached out and grabbed his.
I needed to say what I really felt. “Last night was the greatest night of my life.”
His tone was terse. “I want to go on that vacation with you.”
My heart sang with joy, so much so I could barely find my voice. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Before he could respond, we were interrupted by a voice calling from the deck of the ship. “Blaire? Is that you?”
We both turned.
A smiling, portly older man stood smiling. He motioned with his hand. “Well, come on now, I’ve been expecting you.”
Viktor grabbed my hand, and together we crossed over to the ship. I kept waiting for someone to pull the trigger on their rifle, but reality kept unfolding in front of me.
He wore a captain’s uniform, but I had never seen this man in my life. “Do I know you?”
He gave a jolly, nervous laugh. “No, but I know you. You used to come around the docks when you were a little girl.”
My grandfather had often brought me to the shipping yards. I had met dozens of captains over the years. “Sorry, I don’t remember you.”
“It’s been a long time,” he said kindly.
“Do you know why I’m here?” I asked, curious.
“Come.” He motioned for us to follow him to the inner cabin. “We should talk inside.”
He herded us inside. It was a standard cargo ship, with a massive wheelhouse and typical crew quarters.
He led us past an empty galley. “The crew is on a twenty-four-hour leave. It’s just me and a few engineers.”
I looked for other signs of life, but the place felt empty.
He ushered me into the great cabin—his office—the most regal room on the ship. He stepped toward a drink cart. “Would you two like a drink?”
To my surprise, Viktor spoke. “Vodka, neat.”
The captain spoke over his shoulder. “You’re in for a treat. I’m friends with a captain from Russia, and he always buys me the best stuff.”
We watched in silence as he opened the bar fridge freezer and pulled out a tall clear bottle. He poured a generous amount into a crystal glass before he looked at me. “And you?”
“I think I want to try that vodka myself.”
The captain gave another big smile. “Terrific.”
He carried both glasses over and handed them to us. “Sit, please sit.”
I obediently sat down on one of the chairs that faced his desk, but Viktor remained standing behind me.
I looked around the room and couldn’t shake the sense of déjà vu. “This room feels familiar to me.”
The captain poured himself a generous amount of amber whisky before lifting the glass to his mouth with a shaking hand. “It should. It used to be your grandfather’s office. Whenever he traveled by sea, he always used this ship. Half the stuff in this room is still his. He likes to come and hang out here with me when we dock in Vancouver. That’s why everything is so cluttered.”
I frowned. “I had no idea.”
He drained his glass before he spoke. “You must be wondering how I knew you were coming.”
“I’m wondering a lot of things.”
“Your grandfather always said that if something happened to him, you’d show up. He stated that I should only trust you—and that you’d find your way to me.”
This conversation baffled me. Had my grandfather known something would happen to him? How could he have ever known I would end up here? “Did you hear what’s happened to my grandfather?”
His nod was short. “I did.”
“But he didn’t send me here. I’m here by other means because I’m hoping to find him. I’m at a bit of a loss as to what he wanted me to do here.”
“Yes, that is the mystery, isn’t it? Well, my instructions were clear. To invite you on board. To trust only you. And, whenever you arrived, to first give you a drink and then private access to my office.”
“Excuse me?”
The captain drained his glass. “Whatever he wanted you to find, he’s left in this room. I’ve opened every locked cupboard and safe. I am heading to the galley to make tea. When you are done investigating, come join me for a cup.” He gave Viktor a sideways glance. “And please leave me out of the rest of it.”
I twisted in my seat and watched as he stiffly walked out of the room and then shut the door quietly behind him.
“Did you see his hand?” I whispered to Viktor.
Viktor set his still-full glass down on the desk. “He was scared.”
He moved to the door and listened. I stood up and slowly walked around to the front of the desk. The room had dozens of cupboard shelves and hidden wall compartments. I opened a couple of wall drawers and saw hundreds of files filled with cargo documentation.
“Look at how much stuff is here. It could take days to go through all this.”
Viktor waited at the door. “Can you figure it out in the next couple of minutes?”
I started to slowly walk around the room. “What could possibly be in this room that I would know is for me?”
I paused in front of a heavy oak armoire with plate-glass doors. The inside shelves were jammed with old stuff. I saw stacks of books, a ship in a bottle, stacks of old paper boxes and hundreds of books.
Something caught my eye. I slowly opened the cupboard door.
“You find something?” Viktor asked, watching me from across the room.
“Nothing—except there is a used pastry box in here from my favorite donut shop. It was called Polly’s Pastries, and it was a huge deal when my grandfather came home with donuts from there. The last time I had donuts from there was on my tenth birthday.”
Viktor frowned. “Why?”
The box was balanced precariously beneath some other dusty old boxes. “The place went under.”
“What’s in the box?”
I reached in and pulled the box out. I lifted the lid and gave a short cry. “Lucy.”
Lucy was an old-fashioned Raggedy Ann doll I had inherited from my mother. She had played with it as a child and passed it down to me. In every photo of me between the ages of one and five, Lucy was there. When I moved back to live with my grandparents, it was the only toy I’d brought with me.
One day, Lucy had gone missing. We looked everywhere for her, retracing my steps. My grandfather had distracted me with a new dollhouse and then a pet gerbil, but I had mourned her loss bitterly.
“Who is Lucy?” Viktor sounded terse.
I couldn’t take my eyes off my beloved doll. She looked older than I remembered, worn and sad, but it was her. “I found what we’re looking for.”
Viktor moved to stand beside me. “How do you know?”
“Because this used to be my doll.” Only I would know that. I had always thought this doll was lost. We’d spent weeks looking for it. Why did my grandfather have it? Why hadn’t he given it back to me?
Viktor made an impatient noise. “Is there something in the doll?”
I lifted her up and inspected. Pinned to her back, beneath her dress, was a flash drive.
“I don’t want it,” I told him. “Take it off.”
He took Lucy from my hands, unpinned the drive, and then tossed her carelessly back into the cabinet.
I stared at him in shock. “Are you crazy?”
“What?”
I scooped Lucy back up. “You just tossed my entire childhood to the side.”
I started to open my knapsack. Except I hadn’t had time to ask the hotel to mail the negligee back to Vancouver, so it was stuffed in my bag. There wasn’t any room for Lucy.
“What are you doing, Blaire?” Viktor didn’t sound amused.
“Do you have any room in your bag?”
“No.”
“You have two choices: you either get my negligee or Lucy, but we’ve all gotten this far, so I’m not leaving without them.”
His jaw ticked. “We don’t have time for this.”
“I found the USB drive almost immediately. You can take time to pack up my stuff.”
He breathed a few times. “The negligee.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Interesting choice. I thought for sure you’d go for the doll.”
“You have thirty seconds.”
It took me about five seconds to get my negligee out of my bag. It took Viktor almost forty-five to get the fluffy garment into his tightly packed bag.
“Aren’t we in a hurry?” I took a little too much pleasure in teasing him.
He gave me a dark look. “You never get to call me impatient again.”
I didn’t want to leave the safety of that room. The thought of what awaited us made my heart hurt. But too soon his bag was packed. We stepped out of the office and moved to the galley, but it was empty. So was the wheelhouse and every other room we passed. The place had become a ghost ship.
“Never a good sign,” Viktor told me.
We stood on the inside of the doors that led out onto the deck. We both stared out at the long metal bridge that would connect us with the elevator. Below us, the taxi that Viktor had paid to return was slowly driving toward the ship. I could sense Viktor’s hesitation and knew he was worried about our safety.
“Time to go.” Viktor grabbed my hand.
I decided that if I was going to die, it would be on my terms—doing something I love. And I decided I loved teasin
