I can’t force myself to go to bed.
Everett and Rayne left hours ago, both going back to the city for the night and taking Emerson and Wynter with them, but even still, I can’t make myself move.
Ayvah’s scent will be all over my bedroom despite the fact she was only in there for a short time and I won’t be able to sleep if I can smell her but can’t reach for her in the middle of the night.
The idea crosses my mind to go in and check on her, but I can’t breach her space like that. I’ve locked her up here, the least I can do is give her a place of her own. Especially after what I did today.
I lost control. Something I never do. I’m the controlled one. I’m the one that always has my shit together. When someone hurts my family, I’m the one that fixes it. But today I lost it. The idea that my sweet Ayvah could have been taken away from me destroyed every ounce of control I’ve ever had.
I drop my head into my hands and sigh. Oh how the mighty fall. The notion has a chuckle clawing up my throat, but there’s nothing to laugh about.
I should find peace in the fact Rayne put extra guards on the house, but something tells me that if she really wanted to, Ayvah could get out and I would be none the wiser.
I glance at the time in the corner of my screen. One in the morning. Surely she’ll be asleep by now. The exhaustion of the day should have dragged her under hours ago. So what would it hurt if I just peek my head in?
“Fuck it,” I murmur to myself as I reach for the handle. I was very clear that her door not be locked because I didn’t want her to feel like a prisoner, even if she kind of is one. I’m not letting her go, so that’s just going to have to be the way it is.
The hallway light illuminates the room just enough that I can see the bed. The very empty bed. The sheets are thrown back and a pair of pajamas are thrown haphazardly at the foot of the bed as if she changed in a hurry.
I rush into the room and shove the bathroom and closet doors open. Nothing. No sign of her. I’ve never hated how large the estate is more than I do right now. She could be fucking anywhere and I wouldn’t know. She could hide for weeks and I still wouldn’t be able to find her.
“Fuck!” I roar, anger and fear radiate off me as I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to dial one of my least favorite people in the world.
“Brother,” Elijah says on the second ring.
“I told you not to call me that,” I snap.
“Oh I know, but it’s so much fun pissing you off.” He chuckles. “Now what’s this I hear about a woman in your life? I never thought I’d see the day when the great Storm Saint James joined us lowly people who have romantic feelings for other people.”
“Elijah, can you just not be a cunt for five minutes?”
Silence meets me on the other end of the line for long moments before he finally says, “You’re angrier than normal, what’s going on?”
“What rooms do you have cameras in within the estate?”
“Is this some kind of trap where you’re going to kill me for stalking your sister? Because she’s cool with it now.”
“I am not,” Snow hisses in the background.
“It’s not a trap, Elijah. Where the fuck are the cameras?”
He sighs. “You’re no fun tonight. There are cameras in Snow’s room, all living areas, I know Everett had some in Wynter’s room, and there’s a few outside in the blind spots of your cameras.”
“The stalking must run in the family,” I say dryly. You’d never know Everett and Elijah are cousins by looking at them, but their stalking tendencies are almost too similar.
“Have you lost the girl?”
“Her name is Ayvah,” I growl.
“You’re right, he really likes this one,” he says, I assume to Snow.
“Can you stop being an asshole and check your damn cameras?”
“I already am. She ran outside fifteen minutes ago.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and let out a frustrated breath. If I thought Snow wouldn’t castrate me, I would kill Elijah for his bullshit. “Which way did she go?”
“Out the back. I’d imagine she hit the wall not long ago and will be looking for another way out.”
“Thanks.” I end the call before I break my phone in half out of frustration with my brother-in-law. I’m yet to see what Snow sees in him.
I run into the hallway and take the steps down two at a time. She’s probably freezing and scared, but her need to escape is stronger than that. She won’t get past security at the gate, that much I’m sure of, but I also don’t want them to find her, because if any of those mother fuckers lays a finger on my woman, they’re going to find themselves missing an arm as penance.
The cool night air hits me the moment I throw the back door open but I don’t waste any time. I sprint toward the back wall, my lungs heaving with the need to drag in a breath, but I don’t stop. I run at least three miles every morning, this should be a piece of cake. But the difference is I don’t usually have this panic clawing up my throat, begging to be set free.
The moonlight illuminates the tree line, but everything beyond it is dark and unknown. Not that it stops me from running full speed into the trees. She’s been out here alone for too long. She could be hurt. I can’t handle the idea that any harm could come to her on my watch and if it means I have to lock her up for the foreseeable future to ensure this doesn’t happen again, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
