I thought the pain would be gone by now. I thought if I gave myself a few weeks, it wouldn’t hurt so much just to breathe. But I was wrong. Just like I was wrong about Storm.
After I pulled myself out of my initial grief and really thought about, I realized I should have seen this coming. In fact, I did see this coming from the day we met, and that’s why I fought so hard to get away from him, but in the end, he hurt me anyway.
I’ve been in Rawdon for a little over a month, and it’s beautiful. The most beautiful place I’ve ever been if I’m honest. I’ve never been out of Illinois before, and perhaps if my heart hadn’t been bleeding at the time I would have asked how Storm got me a passport so quickly, but it didn’t occur to me at the time, not when the gaping wound in my chest was threatening bleed out. But now I figure he had it for a while. He must have planned to send me away, and while he waited for the chips to fall where they may, he got what he could out of the arrangement.
It took me two weeks to leave my apartment. It’s simple but cute, plenty big enough just for me, and even though I know Storm pays for it, I don’t associate the space with him. This is where I’ve healed, or at least where I’m healing, and it’s mine.
Once I ventured past my front door where delivery drivers brought me food three times a day on the days I could stomach anything, I was surprised by how much I love it here. The people are beautiful, and although they all speak French, and I don’t, they’ve been so accommodating.
Jan, in the apartment next door, has taken me under her wing and shown me around. The blonde woman in her fifties is so kind it makes my heart ache. She’s even teaching me a little French so I can communicate with those who don’t speak much English.
“How are you feeling this morning, Ayvah?” she asks as we walk up Main Street. It’s picture-perfect like what you would find on a postcard, and I find myself lost in the views of this little mountain town.
“I’m okay,” I tell her honestly. The nights are the worst. I’m not used to sleeping without Storm’s warmth pressed against me, and perhaps that’s been the hardest part to get used to. Just being on my own.
She wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her. “You’re going to be okay, kid.”
“I know I am.” I smile. “It didn’t feel that way at first. It felt like my whole life was over. But now? Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.”
I look around the street as she ushers me into the café we frequent each morning, but there’s no one out of the ordinary. That’s the only thing about this town.
No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I always feel like I’m being watched.
