She’s been missing for sixteen hours, and it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I assure myself we’re going to bring her home, I never quite believe it.
Annalise has been ahead of us at every turn, so why would this be any different? The plan as it stands is to send a team into the warehouse to wait for them to pop out of their hiding hole and infiltrate their operation that way, but it’s a risk.
A really fucking big one.
We have no eyes on the inside. No way to know what waits for us when we get in. We have nothing, and it’s making all of us anxious, regardless of whether anyone says it out loud.
We’re all crammed into Rayne and Emerson’s apartment in the city. It’s the biggest space we have that’s as safe as the estate, and way closer to the docks in case this operation doesn’t go well. When you don’t have the upper hand, you have to prepare for every eventuality.
“Will you stand still for five seconds, Storm?” Snow snaps. I can’t stop moving because if I do, my mind wanders to all the things my woman could be going through right now, and not one of them is acceptable. I can’t bear the idea that she could be hurt and I’m not there to make it better, or that she’s already long gone. Our guys haven’t seen any movement, but it wouldn’t fucking surprise me if they had secret tunnels or some shit.
“Just leave him be, Snow,” Elijah says quietly, wrapping his arms around my sister’s waist and tugging her back into him. He never did strike me as a PDA guy, but now he’s with Snow. He looks visibly uncomfortable whenever she’s out of arm’s reach. I didn’t really get it before, but I do now. Every second that Ayvah isn’t within my direct eye line is like bugs crawling under my skin, burying themselves deeper and deeper.
“It’s getting on my nerves.”
“It’s what he does when he’s worried about someone he loves,” Elijah tells her. “It’s what he did both times you were in surgery.”
“Can you two stop talking about me like I’m not here?” I growl, coming to a stop beside them.
They both turn their attention to me. Worry flashes through Snow’s icy-blue eyes, while Elijah’s moss green ones are amused. After all the shit I’ve given him, Rayne, and Everett, I deserve it, but the timing isn’t quite right for him to be proving I’m just as susceptible as they all were.
“Can you all shut up? I’m trying to lead a blind operation and all I can hear is you three bickering,” Everett snaps. He’s more on edge than normal. The only time I’ve ever seen him like this is when Wynter has been in danger, but I guess when almost all of our best men, both Saint James and Russo, are walking into a firefight without a fucking clue what lies ahead, that’ll put even the most levelheaded man on edge.
Elijah smirks at his cousin’s annoyance and I can’t help but roll my eyes. Even in the face of danger, they’re still competing like fucking children. But then again, that’s what they were raised to do. Compete. Fight. Best one another at any opportunity.
“I should be down there.” I push my hand through my hair roughly, the tug of pain enough to keep me grounded. If I allow myself to think about it too much, I may not be able to stop myself from losing it.
“It’s too dangerous,” Everett reminds me. “We send the first team in. If we can infiltrate the building, they’ll give us the all-clear, and we’ll go in after them once they’re in position to back us up. We’ve discussed this.”
“I know, but what if it was Wynter? I’m sure you’d be singing a different tune.”
He considers me for a moment before letting out a long breath. “You’re right. I would. And you would tell me to sit the fuck down and follow the plan.”
I open my mouth to argue but he’s got me there. That’s exactly what I would do, and what I have done in the past.
“That’s what I thought.”
I let out a huff of annoyance and resume my pacing. Staying idle for too long allows my mind to wander to all the things I did wrong, all the ways this is my fault and no matter which way I look at it, I’m to blame for every single chain reaction since the day I met Ayvah.
I should have let her go that night. When she asked me to let her leave, I should have personally put her on a flight to somewhere safe and allowed her to live a normal life. But I didn’t do that, and now she might pay for that mistake with her life.
