the Moshulu, a boat restaurant on the Delaware River at Penn’s Landing. She couldn’t get over how beautiful the place was, with its rich upscale wood furniture and classy clientele. For a moment, Alessa felt awkward and inadequate in her secondhand dress.
She fidgeted as she stood next to Remo while they waited to be seated. Remo leaned toward her. “You’re the most beautiful woman in here tonight,” he purred.
Alessa smiled brilliantly at him, thankful to be standing next to this man who had become such a good friend and—hopefully, if there was a God—her boyfriend. After a short wait, they were seated at a table next to a window that looked out over the river. The ambiance was perfectly romantic. They both ordered surf and turf for the special occasion and thoroughly enjoyed being with each other. The evening would’ve been perfect, but for the nagging question that still troubled Alessa. Would Remo accept her past or not?
After dinner, the two of them strolled along Penn’s Landing, talking and laughing. They had paused to gaze at the river when Remo took her gently by the shoulders, turned her to face him, and kissed her softly.
The moment his lips touched hers, Alessa’s insides were light and airy. She’d never wanted to kiss anyone the way she wanted to kiss Remo. Afterward, they walked slowly back to his car. Once they were seated in it, he asked if she would like to go back to his apartment for a glass of wine. Not wanting the evening to end, Alessa agreed without hesitation.
Remo lived in a one-bedroom apartment on Walnut Street in Rittenhouse Square. It was simple yet classy, in a masculine sort of way. Walls, upholstery, and accent pieces in warm shades of blue, green, and beige created an understated soothing effect. After he had given her a quick tour of his apartment, the two of them went into the living room and sat on the large brown sofa that was so soft and comfortable it made Alessa feel as though she were sitting on an enormous pillow.
Remo poured them each a glass of wine. As he handed it to her, he quipped, “I’m a criminal now, giving alcohol to a nineteen-year-old.”
Alessa laughed. “Listen,” she said, “if I can raise a kid and live through therapy with someone as tough as you, I deserve a glass of wine.”
Remo looked at her playfully. “Oh really, now you’re saying I was tough? Well, if I was, it was only because you needed me to be tough.”
They both laughed, and Remo leaned over and kissed her again. She’d developed an addiction to his kisses. She wanted her fluttery stomach to last forever, afraid that if they stopped, she might never get it back again. As they pulled away from each other, she gave him a slight push and pressed her hand flat against his chest, as if to hold him back.
“What is it? I thought you were attracted to me. Am I wrong?” he asked, surprised.
“No, you’re not,” she said. “Of course I’m attracted to you. It’s that you don’t know anything about me or my past. I don’t want to take this too far before you know the truth about me. It would not only be wrong to do; it would hurt us both.”
“Okay, so tell me about your past,” Remo said, sitting back against the sofa.
Alessa told him her story about the sexual assaults and the beating that had brought them together. She told him everything that had happened that night. “I was able to talk them into letting Lucy go to a nearby restaurant.” She gave him a weak smile. “I even got them to give her money to buy a soda. I never expected them to beat me the way that they did. But I’ll tell ya what, if I had to do it all over again to keep Lucy safe, I would. Lucy means everything to me. I care for her the way I always wished someone would care for me.”
“I knew you were beaten,” Remo said quietly. “We had heard that much, but none of us knew the whole story. My God, Alessa, this is awful. Lucy is lucky to have a sister like you. She might have been killed if they had gotten their hands on her. You took that all on yourself. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a love so pure than what you feel for Lucy.”
Alessa was grateful for his kind words but couldn’t help wondering if he now felt differently about her. Remo urged her to tell him the rest of her story. Alessa took a deep breath. Then she told him about her lost childhood, her sordid experiences as an exotic dancer, and the many, many men who had paid her for sex. She described her relationship with Harlin and finally, her life as a homeless teen and how she had met Lucy. She gave him every detail of the events that had happened to her over the years and the emotions they had aroused in her, as each chapter of her life unfolded before him. There was nothing Alessa wanted to hold back from him. She knew that if he moved on after hearing her out, she would be hurt, but not devastated. The time to tell him was now.
When she finished, her eyes met Remo’s. He was looking at her, stunned. She assumed their relationship was over before it had even started, but was confident she had done the right thing, despite the acute embarrassment it had caused her.
But it was Alessa’s turn to be surprised. Remo gazed into her eyes. “I didn’t think I could be more impressed than I already was by your desire to make a better life for yourself and Lucy. But this, Alessa. Your story is unbelievable. You have been through so much. No child should ever be treated the way you were. I don’t blame you for running away from your home. Do you know how brave and strong you are? I mean, here you are, having survived the most traumatic childhood and events that are no less horrific, and you still look at life with such abiding hope.”
“You think I’m brave?” Alessa said with uncertainty. “I thought you might think I’m a slut, but not brave.”
Remo gently took her in his arms. “Alessa,” he said tenderly, “you did what you needed to do to come out the other side alive. All your past experiences have gone into making you who you are today. I think you’re a warm and loving person, capable of doing anything you set your mind on. I’ll be honest with you. What you’ve shared is a lot to take in, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you. If anything, it confirms that you have an immeasurable reserve of strength. That you’ve taken care of Lucy as if she were your own is heartwarming.”
Then Remo pressed his lips against hers in a long, slow kiss. Alessa thought she would faint from the emotions that overwhelmed her. She had never had an experience like this with a man. She had never even wanted a man before now. In the frame of mind she found herself in now, the whole evening seemed surreal to her. It was perfect, and so were the people in her life—Remo, Ebby and Lucy. Her life was belonging to her, and this new feeling was something she never wanted to lose.
The couple didn’t make love that night. The evening strengthened their bond and enhanced the powerful emotions they shared for one another. But in her mind, Alessa worried the connection wasn’t mutual.
When Remo took her home, it was well past three in the morning. He stood at her door and kissed her, then he held her for several more minutes. By the way he embraced her, she assumed this was the last she would see of him. He was offering one final goodbye.
As she turned and unlocked her door, Remo moved his mouth close to her ear. “I’m a really good cook. Are you and Lucy free for dinner tomorrow night?” he whispered.
Ecstatic, Alessa couldn’t help but squeal. “We would love to come for dinner. Are you sure? Look, I laid a lot of crazy stuff on you. The kind of crap that most people wouldn’t be able to handle. I know that I’m no saint. Please don’t do this to be nice.”
“Who da hell you callin’ nice?” Remo joked in his fake South Philly accent. “I ain’t no nice guy!” Then he grew serious. “Alessa, your past is horrible. I mean, truly horrible. I’ve never known anyone who has had to live through what you did. But only an idiot would think it was your fault. You did what you needed to do to get to this point in your life. Period. End of story. Besides,” he added, ending on a light note, “I don’t do sympathy dinners.”
Alessa laughed. “You’re so sweet. I’m glad that I told you everything. I feel so much better now that you have the facts. Good night. Lucy and I will see you tomorrow.”
When she entered her apartment, Ebby looked up from the book she was reading. “Well,” she inquired, “I assume everything went well?”
Alessa performed a few dance steps for her. “Yeah, it did. I told him everything, Ebby. Then he asked me if he could cook dinner for Lucy and me tomorrow night.” Alessa was jumping up and down and clapping her hands together. “O my God, Ebby, he’s such a good kisser,” she said breathlessly, reliving the moments. “I could’ve kissed him all night long. By the way, I got to see his apartment, too. It’s really nice.” Ebby furrowed her brow. “We didn’t have sex if that’s what you’re worrying about. God, Ebby, you have such a dirty mind!”
Ebby’s eyes were set hard, and her mouth was pressed into a straight line. She wanted Alessa to take this new relationship seriously. “I’m relieved you didn’t make love to him. This isn’t a man you’re going to just have sex with, Alessa. This is someone special, maybe even your first real love.”
Alessa sat down on the sofa close to Ebby, so close that she was practically sitting on top of her. “Yeah, that’s right,” she said, “we didn’t make love or have sex like rabbits.” Then she tickled Ebby. “You think I don’t know this guy is special, huh?”
“You are exhausting, Alessa,” she said with mock seriousness. “Remind me to teach you some manners next week.”
They both giggled. Neither had ever had a friend whom they loved more than they did each other.
