her right away. “Hi, Sara,” she said warmly. “How have you been?”
“Do I know you?” the other girl asked, looking up at her with a vacant expression.
Slightly annoyed, but concerned all the same, Alessa said, “It’s me, Alessa. Remember how we met at the train station and you took me to live under the bridge near Thirtieth Street Station?”
Sara sidestepped and would have fallen but caught herself in time. “Oh yeah,” she said, apparently thinking hard to extract the memory from her foggy brain. “Yeah, I remember you. You and that little girl you took care of.”
Alessa was overwhelmed with sadness at what Sara’s life had become. This was the person who had befriended her in her hour of need and was indirectly responsible for why she was here today with Remo and Lucy, living the life she had dreamed of.
“Yeah, Sara, that’s right,” she said gently. “It’s me, Alessa. The little girl was Lucy. She’s still with me.”
Sara suddenly dropped to her knees and threw up at Alessa’s feet. Remo rushed over to help her up, and together, they led the girl into their apartment. Alessa guided her into the bathroom and helped her undress. Between the vomit and the smell of filth from not showering for God knew how long, Sara was almost too ripe to be near. Standing naked, Alessa noticed the track marks on her arms and legs.
“What kind of drugs are you shooting, Sara?” she asked, her face twisted with pity.
The girl’s head dropped back, as though she were a bobblehead, until she had regained enough control for her neck to support her head again. She tried her best to focus on Alessa. “Yeah, I like heroin. You got any, man? Listen, I ain’t got no money, but I’ll do you and your guy if you want in exchange for some. I’ll do you both at the same time if you want. It doesn’t matter to me. It can be a guy or a chick. You want me to do ya?”
Alessa’s eyes filled up. “No, Sara, I don’t want you to do me. Let’s get you cleaned up and you can eat something afterward.”
Sara gave Alessa a drugged-up, doped-out smile. “Hey, man, whatever you say . . . whatever you want to do. You want to pay me to take some pictures of me in the shower?”
Alessa lost her temper. “No, what the hell, Sara?!” she snapped. “Take a damn shower!”
Startled by the vehemence of her response, Sara stepped into the shower obediently. When she had finished, she pulled the shower curtain back and looked at Alessa.
“Man, that felt so friggin’ good,” she said. “What did you say your name was?”
Agitated, Alessa replied, enunciating each word carefully, “My name is Alessa, and you know me. We’ve met before. You helped me a long time ago when I had nowhere to sleep. Remember?”
Sara’s grip on her towel slackened, and it dropped to the floor. She was now standing naked in front of Alessa. It was obvious that Sara had had a rough life over the last three years. There were bruises between her legs and bite marks around her breasts.
“Nah, I don’t remember you,” Sara countered. “Maybe if you could loan me some money and I could get some dope with it, I’d remember.”
Alessa gave up. Maybe after some sleep, she will remember who I am, Alessa thought. Maybe seeing Lucy would act as a reminder.
Alessa had forgotten about Lucy. Her stomach twisted, thinking of how the child might be affected when she came to know what had become of Sara. Although she was accustomed to being around drug users—many homeless people they talked to used drugs—Lucy might be disheartened to see Sara in this condition, precisely because it was Sara. Alessa decided to meet the child at school and talk to her about Sara before she came home. She wanted Lucy to make her own decision about seeing her old street friend.
After Alessa had gotten Sara into clean clothes, she led her into the kitchen. Remo was already making her scrambled eggs and toast. He had also made fresh coffee, hoping it would speed up the sobering process. Alessa sat with Sara as she tried to eat. She would pick up a shaky forkful and occasionally fail to deliver it to her mouth, spilling it, instead, on the floor. But she sobered up ever so slightly, as the minutes went by. When she had eaten, Alessa led her over to the sofa and told her to get some sleep. As soon as she had Sara settled, Alessa kissed Remo and left to get Lucy from school.
When Lucy saw her waiting outside the school, she asked, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
Alessa explained how Sara had shown up at the house and that she was stoned on heroin. Lucy looked at her with the wisdom of a hundred-year-old woman. “So, you’re worried about how I’ll react to her?” she asked. “I mean, I feel bad for Sara and I still like her, but it’s not like she scares me or anything. We know lots of homeless people who do drugs. It’s fine. Did she remember you?”
Alessa shook her head. “No, she keeps asking me my name. We need to get back now. I left Remo there with her alone, and she is whacked out.”
The moment they entered the apartment, Alessa saw Lucy take a deep breath and steel herself for the worst, growing into a different person in front of her eyes.
Sara was sitting up on the sofa, trying to convince Remo she would have sex with him in exchange for “a few bucks.”
Lucy walked over to her and touched her arm. “Hi, Sara,” she said softly.
“Hey, I know you, don’t I?” Sara asked. “You’re that little girl that used to live with us, right?”
Lucy sat down next to her.
“Hey, little sister, you got any money you can lend me?” Sara went on. “This dude over here,” she said, pointing to Remo, “doesn’t want to pay for n-o-t-h-i-n-g that I have to offer him. He’s a real drag.”
Lucy stared at Sara with utter disgust, waiting hopefully for the person she once knew to emerge. But after a while, she accepted that the real Sara wasn’t in there anymore. At least, not right now.
Lucy turned to Alessa. “I think we should call Ebby and see if we can get her into rehab,” she said, trying to be practical.
Alessa patted the child on the back. She hadn’t thought of it, but Lucy was right. There was no way they could help Sara until she got clean. In the state she was in now, Alessa thought she was repulsive. At the same time, her compassion swelled, knowing how hard it was to live on the streets. She understood why girls went into prostitution to survive but was disappointed Sara had turned to drugs. Alessa knew that most girls at the go-go clubs used drugs. Many had confided in her that if they didn’t, they could never get on stage and let “all those pigs” grope them. Alessa had never needed to use drugs. She had grown up having sex, with nothing to numb her body or her mind. Maybe she had been lucky, she thought. Lucky to have been broken in, before her mind was fully developed, so she had looked upon it as a way of life.
