Lia
“Ma.”
Disorientated, I sat bolt upright and peered around the dark room. Wherever we travelled, I kept a small nightlight glowing for Evie, and the soft yellow glow picked out my daughter standing in her cot and staring at me.
Wonder hit me.
“Did you just say something?” My voice came out as a sleep-laden croak, but my heart sped.
Evie banged her palm on the crossbar, a demand for me to pick her up. I scooted over in the bed and brought her to snuggle in next to me.
“Can you try it again?” I asked. “Ma, or Mama?”
Evie moved her mouth as if trying, but no further sound came. Maybe I’d imagined it. Except last time we were here, she’d made sounds.
“How about dada?” I prompted, but my daughter was content with getting back to sleep.
Her eyes closed, and her head lolled. I couldn’t so easily drop off again. Last night, only a few hours ago, Max had walked out on me.
I knew why. After all I’d said about a new start, he must still have felt like I’d lied to him.
Stupid me. We’d had a perfect evening, too.
But the exhaustion of travel finally took me under, and I next woke to daylight peeking around the thick curtains. I yawned and stretched in the spacious bed, and Evie lifted her head and smiled at me.
“Are you thirsty? Let’s go into the kitchen and make breakfast.”
We got into our morning routine, unusual in that we were alone, and I sent a text to Max, telling him he could come over whenever he was ready. Fifteen minutes later, a knock came at our door.
I opened it to find Max on the threshold.
I gawked at him. “It’s seven AM. I didn’t mean you had come over right now.”
Damp-haired, he raised a shoulder, glancing back at the castle wall and the expanse of mountain behind. “If she’s awake, I want to be with her.”
I stood aside to let him come in, self-consciously raking through my unkempt hair. Left untended, my curls turned into a frizzy mess, and I hadn’t tied them back this morning.
Max advanced on Evie in her highchair, greeting her with a kiss and a nuzzle to her cheek.
My daughter uttered the sweetest little giggle, gazing up at him with the same adoration he had as he looked at her.
I closed the door and tried not to react. I hadn’t imagined that last night then, she was making more sounds.
Max lifted one of her hands for a high five. “Evie baby, ye have the cutest laugh. What’s for breakfast?”
“She’s had milk and is on her second bowl of porridge,” I told him.
“Good eater. She’ll need that energy for what I’ve got planned for us today. I’ve got her if ye want to take a shower?”
“She’ll probably need a nappy change soon. The not-so-nice variety.”
Max laid an amused gaze on me. “I’ll handle that, too.”
I pointed out her changing mat and equipment, then headed off for a shower. After a fast wash, and a slower blow-dry to tame my hair, I dressed, ready for the day. But before I left my bedroom, a thought occurred to me. Max had implied he had plans, yet that might not include me.
I sat on the bed and tried to school myself to ask the question, then handle it if he wanted to take Evie out on his own. It was his right, and I wouldn’t complain.
From my pocket, my phone buzzed. I extracted it and found Felix’s name on the screen. Last night, I’d checked in so he could give Dad an update, but this second call was timely.
I had something I needed to ask him.
“Hi, Felix, is everything okay?”
“All is well,” Dad’s assistant replied. “I have two things to discuss with you. First, is Lincoln’s phone broken? I’m not able to see it on our system.”
Linc must have turned his tracking off. I’d not heard anything from him, though I’d sent a message of support.
“I’m not sure. I’ll get him to take a look at it.”
“Thank you. Next, I need to confirm your accommodation for August. Which of the options are you going to choose?”
I hid a sigh. From outside the room, the sound of Max’s laughter filtered in. “I’ll get back to you on that one.”
“I really do need to confirm that ASAP. It won’t be easy finding a place for you all that will satisfy your father’s security needs, and he has been very clear on the areas and facilities required for yourself and Evelyn. They are so superior there.”
“I know, I promise you I’ll think about it. But I need to talk to Dad first if he’s going to live with us. There’s something I want to talk to you about, if that’s okay?”
Felix paused. “Go ahead.”
“Could you please send me Stephen’s contact details?”
“Your father’s old assistant?”
“Yes, him. I know he’s in some fancy new job, but it’s important I get hold of him.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Which meant he’d have to ask Dad. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Nope. But thank you.”
“Okay, I’ll let you go, but please do come back with your accommodation selection no later than tomorrow.”
I made vague promises and got off the call.
On autopilot, I got Evie’s clothes ready for the day and packed a bag with several changes. When I was done, a text waited on my phone.
Lincoln: I got your message. Am at the hospital. Trent took a hit to the head after a training exercise went wrong. They’ve got him doped up, so we don’t know how severe it is yet. They’re going to bring him around later today.
I typed my response.
Lia: I’m so sorry. Sending hugs to both of you. If there’s anything I can do, name it.
Lincoln: I need to stay here. Is that okay? I’m sorry to ask.
Lia: Absolutely! Don’t even consider leaving him. Felix thinks your phone is broken. I’ll keep dodging the question.
A pause came before he replied.
Lincoln: Interesting. Felix just emailed me. But not about my phone. He wants to know if you’re serious about persuading your dad to settle down when you start university. Why would he care about that?
Lia: I have no idea.
Lincoln: I’ll tell him I don’t know. It’s none of his business either way. Got to go. The doc’s here.
Lia: Thank you. Stay strong, catch up with you later.
I pocketed my phone and left my bedroom, my brain stuck on that last piece of information. The question seemed innocuous enough, except Felix hadn’t asked it of me, instead choosing to put it to a third party. A bad feeling came over me. A warning shivered down my spinal cord.
I’d never really trusted in my intuition, but this one was strong.
In the living room, Max and Evie sat together on the sofa, TV on with cartoons that neither were watching. Instead, he reclined on the cushions, and she rested on his belly, leaning back against his upright knees, both grinning as they pulled faces, copying each other’s actions.
Evie and I used to do that together. Lincoln called it mirroring, a form of bonding.
Max’s gaze jumped to me. “What’s wrong?”
I forced away my worries. “Nothing at all. I packed a bag for Evie. She just needs a wash and to be dressed and she’s good to go.”
“Grand. I want to take a drive around the estate this morning. Show ye around. After that, is it okay if I introduce ye both to my family?”
Both of us. “Are you sure you want me along?” I blurted.
“Of course I do.” His gaze dipped then returned. “I’m sorry about last night. For freaking out over Lincoln. Forgive me?”
I choked on air. “Nothing to forgive. It was my mistake.”
He pressed his lips together and gave a shake of his head. “All I see is a woman protecting herself from a man she thought the lowest of the low. I don’t blame ye at all.”
My heart did something stupid and my belly flipped. “I came here all guns blazing. Yelled at you. Ran you over. Then all that nonsense with my dad…”
“Pretty sure I don’t come off as an angel either. I’ve been horrible to ye.”
“We both need to forgive each other for everything we believed wrongly.”
Max’s green-eyed gaze held mine captive. “Agreed.”
Something shifted between us. Maybe the start of an understanding, or something deeper. Either way, it charged me up.
In all my considerations about Max, I’d never for a moment thought we stood a second chance. Too many bridges had been burned. Except my body tingled in the way it hadn’t done since he and I had last been together two long years ago.
A soft body hit my legs, breaking our stare-off, and I swooped to collect a stumbling Evie. “How about we get you dressed, then we’ll be ready for Daddy’s big day out.”
“Daddy,” Max mumbled, and he followed us into the bedroom.
I guessed he needed to get used to that. That made two of us.
Out in the fresh air, Max drove us through the estate, pointing out relative’s homes and special places in the landscape. Rain lashed the windscreen, though it was the first of May, but the place was gorgeous. Stands of trees climbed a mountain slope, deer grazed in herds. Near the top of the mountain, a snowboarding centre made a base for summer extreme sports and hiking.
“I’ve never even skied,” I confessed. “My father is a low-risk kind of man. He never wanted me to do anything like that when I was little.”
“Did ye want to?” Max asked.
I considered it. “Yes, actually. But I’d rather he was happy, so it worked both ways.”
At the end of the tour, we pulled up outside a pretty cottage, sitting on its own beside the loch.
“My parents’ place,” Max said.
I stiffened, knowing what was coming wouldn’t be pleasant. At some point, I had to face Max’s brother. It was inevitable. He lived somewhere around here, too. Maybe even in this house. Yet I had no armour against the terrible history we shared. I still hadn’t let myself think about it or truly accept it.
Max idled the car, watching me. “Maddock and Rory are on holiday. They willnae be here today.”
My breath released in a rush. “Okay. I mean, that’s a shame.”
He gave a short laugh. “Naw, it isn’t. Remember, truth between us from now on, aye? I’m glad they’re away, too.”
He exited the car and collected Evie from her car seat. I followed, my nerves still on high alert, and then there was nothing for it but to enter the house.
The moment before Max opened the door, he whispered to me, “I’ve told them all to be on their best behaviour. But if ye need rescuing, wink at me or something.”
I blinked in surprise then we were inside and facing people in the hall. A small girl of about eight launched herself to the front and introduced herself as Isla. A woman stepped in front of me, her red curls swept back in a clip.
I stared at her. In Max’s arms, Evie did, too.
“Lia, this is Scarlet, my mother. Ma, meet Lia,” Max said, breaking the stare-off.
“Sorry,” I spluttered. “Evie is so like you.”
They shared the exact same shade of hair. The curls I’d thought were mine could also have come from her. More, the curve of Scarlet’s cheek echoed my daughter’s. Softer than Max’s sharp angles.
She was beautiful, and all of a sudden, I had a glimpse of my child grown up.
Scarlet beamed, her gaze flitting to my daughter. “So she is. Welcome to our home, Lia and Evie. We’re thrilled to meet you.”
She ushered us into a warm kitchen and introduced her husband, Ally, daughter, Cait, and son-in-law, Lochie, the parents of Isla and of baby Ava who slept in a Moses basket in the corner. All adults smiled politely at me, gazes curious, but Evie was the main attraction. She watched everyone, taking in one face after another.
On the way, I’d told her that we’d be meeting new people, and I wondered if she could sense the importance of the moment.
Isla begged to hold her, and Max sat on the floor in the space between an oak table and a casual sofa. His dad squatted behind him, ready to be introduced to Evie, Scarlet set about making tea, and I took a second to breathe.
“Come, sit down,” Max’s sister said to me. “This has got to be a strange day for ye.”
I swallowed and summoned a wan smile. “A little.”
She directed me to the head of the table, her husband taking a position by the door, out of the way but nearby her.
“I don’t know what Max has told you,” I started.
Cait sighed. “Next to nothing. His explanation went something like ‘I have a daughter with an ex-girlfriend. Ye can all meet her soon.’”
“Wow, that much.”
We both snickered, and I relaxed a small degree. As concisely as I could, I told her how I’d been sick and allowed someone else to inform Max of Evie’s existence. How I regretted that he’d missed out on her first year.
Still sitting on the flagstone floor, he shot a glance my way.
Scarlet joined us with a tea tray. “You’re here now, and we’re so glad. We’re a close family, but not in each other’s business. I want you to feel at home. I’m sure you have questions for us, so here we are.”
I had a ton. Medical history. Family traits. But instead, I wanted to know more about the people. Scarlet was English but with a hint of other accents, just like I had. Cait was fair and didn’t have her mother’s red hair. All of this felt like background I should know.
So instead of the factual exchange, I accepted my tea and asked about them.
An hour went by fast.
Ava woke with a yowl, and Cait collected her from her basket.
“Meet your new cousin,” she said to her baby.
Evie, perched on Max’s lap, toddled over to me, her attention on the crying child.
“Evie’s never hung out with another baby. How old is she?” I asked, wishing not for the first time that I had friends with babies. Or friends in general. Hanging out today and just chatting was…nice.
“Five months in a couple of days.”
“Evie’s fourteen months tomorrow.” Max held the back of my seat. “They’ll grow up together.”
“Where do ye live?” Cait lifted her t-shirt and settled Ava onto her nipple, the child latching on instantly.
Envy hit me. As I’d been ill, I hadn’t been able to breastfeed Evie. We’d tried for days but had to switch to formula. Nor did she cry so readily when she wanted anything.
“We move around a lot, but I start university in the autumn,” I mumbled.
“Where?” Cait asked.
“Boston.”
“America?” Max said.
Shit. My plans had been long set, but this was definitely not the right moment to tell him of them.
“Good for ye,” Cait said into the tension. “I got my degree before starting a family, but saying that, I don’t care if I never use it again.”
Evie shot her hand up and banged my leg. I hid my fluster in working out what she needed.
Max retreated, his gaze on his phone. A stark thought hit me. I had no idea if he was single or in a relationship. Perhaps he was texting his girlfriend now and telling her all about the child he’d want her to meet.
The thought wasn’t pleasant.
Whoever he was messaging put a frown on his face.
A short while later, it was time to leave. I had a hug from Cait and Scarlet, and Evie beamed at the fuss lavished on her.
Back in the car, Max turned a troubled look my way.
“About the university thing, I should’ve said,” I started. “There’s a lot in that. I want Dad to settle. I want our lives to be different.”
“There is so much we don’t know about each other.” He slid a glance at Evie, snuggled in her car seat with her eyelids drooping. “How about this. I need to drive out to the Isle of Skye this afternoon. I had a message come in about a lad I’m trying to see. It’s a long drive, over two hours there and back. Either I drop ye and Evie home for a rest, or…”
“We come with you and talk.”
His gaze touched mine, sending shivers in its wake. “Bet we both have burning questions to cover.”
No kidding. I nodded, and we set off on our fact-finding trip.
