I stood behind the curtain not much later, waiting for the moment that it lifted. We let the violins build before it happened. I took deep breaths, closed my eyes, and reminded myself what this was all for.
Then, as the curtain rose, I stepped onto the stage, letting the spotlight find its mark. The light blinded me and was weighted with expectation as the crowd seemed to quiet. Was he watching me? Did he care that I was there? I worried about him out there only for that second.
But the violin’s notes moved me, the music guided me to what I loved most, and I turned my focus to the bride and groom as I let out my first note. This was their night, their love, and their happily ever after.
Tonight wasn’t a concert of my own but my entrance into the Black Diamond Resort and Casino as a private show for a Hardy. Dom Hardy and Clara had married Clara Milton. I sang and felt the words for them. The love song I launched into was one of my biggest hits, routinely played around the world at weddings.
The cameras that were on me would capture a childhood neighbor supporting her lifelong friends. It was well-known that the Hardy brothers lived next door to my family, that Dex had saved me in that car wreck, and that he’d been painted as the bad boy in my hometown.
Everywhere else, though, that narrative had no legs. He’d buried that story over the years with how he’d become a ruthless arm of the HEAT empire. He controlled the security and technology, bought up real estate, and now owned this resort. When he’d implemented security software with Cade Armanelli, a genius hacker who’d worked closely with the US government, he’d catapulted his career to new heights. Since partnering with the Black Diamond Resort and Casino, their systems would now protect billions of dollars.
Social media and news outlets were about to have a field day with me being a part of it all. So, I gave them what they wanted. I sang about forever. I sang about a love that would never be lost. I sang about him.
About forever with Dex, even if I couldn’t have it.
I’d been a songwriter first, and I’d written it for him before we broke up. He knew this song as well as I did. Music moved the soul in a way that sometimes a mind couldn’t. The mind was too practical, too logical for the gravity of our emotions. And I knew in my head I should be singing for the bride and groom, but somehow the music and my emotions moved my gaze right to the man I was supposed to be avoiding.
Dex stood there in a three-piece suit, taller than most and more in control than anyone. He’d aged well too, so well my knees practically went weak as I got to the chorus.
His gaze was cold, though. His green eyes sliced through me like I was a weed in his path. And maybe I was. I was an obstacle, a disturbance for him, one he definitely didn’t want.
In that moment, the only anchor I had was the mic in front of me. I gripped it like a lifeline and let the words flow out of me. I bled my emotions out onto that stage because my music did that for me every time.
I hoped the newlyweds felt as much a part of it as I did. Dom and Clara deserved it after agreeing to let me sing on the night of their wedding, knowing it would make the news. My record label had been ecstatic. So, in turn, I made sure I delivered on each note with a soulful and emotional message, trying to invoke love into every word.
The next song, I sang swaying with my eyes closed so I didn’t have to look at his. I wanted to get lost in it, not him again.
Yet, as I held the last note, I knew I’d have to meet his gaze again. One last song before the band would take over was what I’d promised. When I opened my eyes, he glared at me with his arms crossed, and I hated how I wasn’t immune to those deep-green irises, his dark wavy hair, and how his strong jaw seemed just a bit sharper than his brothers’.
People had lost interest now, were mingling with other wedding guests, and I took a breath, stepped back from the mic, and let my fingers move over it for a second, letting the familiarity of it comfort me.
The event coordinator had made sure the mic was the exact right height on the stand for me. The chandelier lights overhead had been dimmed, as had the spotlight. I was certain Dimitri had made sure all my requests were taken care of.
And Dex would make sure to unnerve me all the same. He’d probably find a way to get me out of here by the end of the night. I could see his mind working on it already.
But then Pink’s words came back to me. Do whatever the fuck you want. Bane and Dex aren’t going to let anything happen to you. They take care of what’s theirs. So, show them what you’re made of.
This small, intimate audience size was the kind I’d always dreamed about, the kind I wanted to sing my own personal songs for. Fear and adrenaline coursed through me. This was either going to be the place I healed or the place I was completely destroyed. Suddenly, I wanted to be healed or destroyed. I wanted the closure.
For the first time in years, I looked out at him and felt peace.
I silenced the violins so I could sing the next song a cappella. It was fresh, it was new, and it was real.
I wanted to finally show them who I was. And it wasn’t the sweetheart I’d been pretending to be.
