I know I don’t have much experience when it comes to attending professional hockey games but this has been one of the most fun days of my life. Getting to watch Dex and the rest of the Red Tails do what they do so close up is exhilarating, and they’re playing tonight like they’re on fire! I’m not sure how they can lose with a score of four to one, but I also know anything is possible.
I haven’t been able to take my eyes off Dex all night. When he hit the ice before the game even started, I could feel his presence. I could feel his focus. And I have to give credit where it’s due, because damn, does he look good in his uniform. Knowing I would be coming to the game tonight, I asked my brother to ship me a Detroit jersey because I knew Dex would react just as he did when he saw me in it. He might pretend to be the cuddly teddy bear when Summer is around, but the Dex I remember meeting in Key West wasn’t gentle about anything and that’s what I wanted to see again.
The possessive guy who wanted to make sure I knew I belonged to him.
I like a guy who doesn’t share.
Dex Foster does things to me I can’t even begin to explain.
With three minutes left to go in the third period, Charlee and Rory and I have been standing at the glass cheering our asses off for our team. For most of this period, the play has been near the other end of the ice as our guys have had control of the puck, but the pendulum swings and Detroit takes possession bringing the play back toward us.
Milo’s in the middle of the ice and passes to Shay who shoots it to Dex.
“YES, DEX! LET’S GO!”
Dex turns wide to get outside the net, preventing Detroit from scoring. As he comes around to the other side of the net two of Detroit’s players try to intercept his play and check him into the glass. At full speed there’s no stopping them and the hit is hard. His shoulder hits the wall first and down he goes right in front of us and then it’s a free-for-all fight for the puck. The flurry of action on the other side of the glass is intense. Each of them is shouting at their teammates as sticks ram against each other in the fight for possession. Several players go down and there’s a pileup on the ice.
“Where is Dex?” I shout.
Charlee and Rory look around for his number seventy-seven but none of us can see him.
“Did he end his shift?”
“No!” I shake my head. “He fell. He has to be down.” I point to the pileup in front of us. “There!”
Another player trips and falls in front of us, his leg flying out behind him, his skate hitting Quinton’s cheek as he leans in for the puck. We all gasp as spurts of blood spray from under Quinton’s face shield and he screams in pain, grabbing his face and falling to the ground. The refs finally bring the game to a halt as some of the players are fighting, several have fallen on top of one another, and Quinton is being lifted off the ice by Hawken and Zeke, the team doctor already tending to the deep cut on his face.
“Dex? Where’s DEX?”
As the fighting continues and players come off the bench to either join in or try to help, I finally spot Dex at the bottom of the pile up where players are scrambling to get their footing.
“DEX! Oh, my God! There he is! DEX!” Hunched over in a fetal position, Dex lays on the ice as one by one the other players are lifted away from him.
My chest tightens and my stomach threatens to lose the nachos and popcorn I had earlier as I look on helplessly.
“Is he hurt?”
Please God, don’t let him be hurt.
Please, no.
Let him be okay.
Let him be okay.
Let him be okay.
“Why isn’t he moving?”
What am I going to do if he’s not okay?
Will it be serious?
Does he need a hospital?
I want to be with him.
How am I supposed to do this with…
God, Summer…
Your baby needs you, Dex.
Please get up.
You’re going to be okay.
You have to be okay.
My hands are pressed against the glass and tears are now running down my face in fear.
“He’s okay, Tate.” Rory rubs my back. “It’s okay. He’s okay. I promise. He wasn’t down long.”
“Huh?”
I look out at the ice again and Dex is moving, rolled onto his back, Milo and Colby are at his side. He’s talking to them as one of the doctors comes running out onto the ice. Before he gets there, Dex is already sitting up and talking to his teammates. I see him nod to them and to the doctor and then they’re all helping him up as the crowd cheers for him.
And all the tension leaves my body in the form of sobbing tears…because that’s what happens when you’re a hormonal post-partum woman who has no control over her emotions. I stand there crying huge tears as my friends console me, promising me that Dex is okay and that everyone is alright, but at this point I can’t stop them from coming. It’s like my mind and my heart chose this moment to open the flood gates of the past year of my life. And now I’m a mess of emotions picturing myself raising Summer all alone because Dex is injured and no longer wants us in his life. My fears of him not thinking I’m enough for him hit me like a freight train and soon enough I’m having a mini panic attack right here in section 109.
“Tatum…Tate, look. Look up, Tate. Look at the glass. He’s okay.” Charlee and Rory are coming at me from both sides. When I finally hear them enough to look at the glass, Dex is there on the other side, his gloved hand on the glass.
“I’m okay.” He nods. “I’m okay.”
Oh, thank God.
I nod back, wiping my stupid tears from my face with my shirt sleeve.
“Look at me, Tate!” he shouts. My glistening eyes connect with his and he gives me a sympathetic yet possibly worried grin. “I’m alright. Okay? I’ll see you soon.”
I nod back as do Charlee and Rory, and then he’s swiftly escorted off the ice.
“Come on,” Rory tells me. “There’s only a minute left and he won’t be playing anyway. We’ll meet him by the locker rooms.”
Charlee grabs my bag of Red Tails gifts and Rory takes my hand, leading me up the stairs and through the arena. Carissa meets us downstairs and escorts us to the hallway where the WAGS usually wait for their husbands after a game.
“What about Summer?”
“You and Dex can go and get her together. Give yourself a minute to give him a hug.”
“Why didn’t you guys warn me how scary this stupid sport is?”
All three ladies chuckle and Carissa speaks first. “I totally know how you feel. Colby took a cut to the wrist a year or so ago during playoffs. Got off the ice quickly with a trail of blood behind him, got stitches and got himself right back into the game. It was wild.”
“These guys are crazy about their sport, that’s for sure,” Charlee says. “Milo will be lucky if his knees still work when he’s fifty.”
“Hey, ask Dex how many of his teeth are still his real adult teeth.” Rory winks at me. “The man gets his teeth knocked out more than anyone I know. At least three in that ornery smile he has aren’t even his God given teeth.”
We wait in the hallway, making small talk for a solid twenty minutes or so before we see any of the players trickle out of the locker room. Colby and Zeke head to the press room for a few interviews. Quinton has been with the team doctor ever since coming off the ice and is now getting his cheek stitched up. Milo and Hawken file out of the locker room together and let us know Dex will be an extra couple of minutes. Coach wanted him checked over by the team doctors before he allows him to leave.
When he finally appears from the locker room, I don’t even give him time to notice me standing here before I’m flinging myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Tatum.” He inhales and wraps his strong arms around my body, squeezing me to him tightly.
“You gave us a little scare there, Dex,” Charlee tells him.
He smooths his hand up and down my back. “Yeah, I guess I did. Sorry about that.” He lowers me to the ground, cupping my face in his hands. “But I really was okay.”
“No major injuries, I take it?” Rory asks her brother.
He shakes his head. “A few bumps and bruises. They iced my shoulder while I was in there, but otherwise no. I’m good.”
I shake my head. “We couldn’t even see you for a while and then there you were in a fetal position.”
He nods with a proud grin. “Fetal position is the best position to be in when a bunch of guys are piled on top of you. I knew I had to protect my head and I didn’t want my skates cutting anyone if they fell so I brought them in as tightly as I could.” He notices the tears welling in my eyes again and says, “I’m sorry I scared you.”
He kisses my forehead and then gives me a sweet kiss on my lips. “But if it helps you feel any better, you look sexy as hell in my jersey…and scarf…and all three hats.”
His comment makes everyone laugh and I’m finally able to dry my tears. “I’m sorry. It’s the hormones.”
He kisses my temple. “Don’t apologize. You’re fucking adorable. Now let’s go get our baby and go home.”
Yes, please.
___
“Where are we going?”
“Home.”
“Uh, this isn’t the way.”
Dex smiles at me and reaches over to grab my thigh. “Just trust me.”
We pull into the parking garage beneath his building. He carries Summer’s car seat in one hand and holds mine with his other and together we make our way to the elevator and then to the top floor.
“I’d like to stay here tonight if that’s okay with you.” Dex says, unlocking the door.
“Uh…I…I mean I’m not against that, but where are we going to put Summer?”
“Hmm, that’s a good question.” He sets the car seat down on the couch once we’re inside, unbuckling Summer and lifting her into his arms.
Gah! He’s such a hot dad.
“Come here, I want to show you something.” He takes my hand again and leads me down the hallway into the room across from the one I know to be his. He opens the door and flicks on the light and my breath catches at the sight before me.
“Oh, my God, Dex! Did you…” I step inside the stunning hockey themed baby nursery, trying to take it all in at the same time. “Did you really do all this?”
“I’m sorry it’s taken so long. The girl’s helped with a few design ideas but this is mostly my vision. Yeah.”
Oh, my heart!
All the walls are painted white except for one. The stark white crib with red ruffled bedding rests against a black wall. Summer’s name in large white letters is spelled out on the wall over the crib, each letter painted with tiny yellow suns that from a distance look like polka dots. Long red ruffled curtains hang from the two windows in the room and the crystal dimmed chandelier in the middle of the room casts a beautiful glow over the room. Perfect for our little sports diva. Along the other walls are framed hockey prints in black silhouette, one of them Dex’s hand holding his stick. One of them, the back of him wearing his number seventy-seven.
“This is…” I shake my head, marveling at every beautiful detail. “This is amazing Dex.”
He takes a moment to point out the dresser full of new baby clothes, and closet full of diapers, wipes, and bathtime accessories. It’s truly a dream come true type of space and he’s thought of everything. I spot the white rocker-glider in the corner of the room and the beautifully knitted red baby blanket laying across the armrest.
“This is beautiful. Where did you get it?”
He smiles. “I made it.”
“You…what?” I unfold the blanket to get a better look. It’s a bright red knitted blanket with a white trim line all the way around about a quarter of an inch in. “You made this?”
“Mhmm.”
“That’s right!” I recall. “I almost forgot you knit. Where the heck did you learn a skill like this anyway?”
He shrugs. “I couldn’t keep my mind off you when I got back from Key West last summer. I had no way of finding you and it was…you know, it was hard. It got to me. I needed something to do with my hands that would also keep my mind busy, so I learned to knit. Little did I know the project I started knitting would turn into a baby blanket for my own kid.”
My smile falters and my shoulders fall as he tells me his story. “Dex, I’m so so—”
“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. We could’ve used real names, but we didn’t. That was our choice and it’s okay. Sit here with me while I feed Summer?”
“Of course.”
After I went back to work, it became way too hard to find a time to be able to pump and as there were a few times Summer would sleep almost through the night, I made the decision to end sole breastfeeding. With the amount I pumped before returning, we’ve had enough to continue to use and now Dex can help with feedings, something he’s really wanted to do.
He gets a bottle ready for her and then cuddles up with her on the love seat near the windows in her room. I take a seat next to them, my hand on Dex’s knee as he gives her a bottle and opens up to me.
“I’m not like you, Tatum.” He slowly shakes his head. “I don’t come from a close family. I don’t come from a big family. It was messed up and ugly at times. I basically raised Rory from the age of fifteen. Not because my mom wasn’t around. She was. But she cared more about her next high or the drink in her hand than she did us.”
“Oh, Dex.”
“I’m not telling you this for pity, Tate. Clearly you can see I did pretty damn well for myself and I’ll make sure Rory is set for life. I know teachers don’t make nearly the money they deserve.”
“How did you even get so involved with hockey then?”
“Call it sheer dumb luck, I guess?” He frowns. “My dad had all kinds of money and when he left, my mom got half so she was set. And she knew if she paid for Rory and me to do extracurricular things, it kept us out of her hair. So, she registered me for a young hockey league and Rory for dance lessons. Rory didn’t give two shits about dance, but I actually found that I enjoyed hockey. And I was good at it. Coach kind of took me under his wing and the rest is history.”
“Why are you telling me this, Dex?”
“Like I said, it’s not for pity. I want you to know my past so you can know my future. Which, I really hope will be our future. I want you to see how much I’m trying to be here for Summer. For you. I want this, Tatum. I want this life with you.”
His declaration makes me smile.
It also makes me want to jump his bones, but maybe not with a baby in his arms.
“I want those things too, Dex.”
“I may not always be the best father. I don’t know how to do any of this, Tate, but by God, I’m trying. I don’t want to fail this precious little girl. And I don’t want to fail you.”
Rising to my knees, I reach over and cup his face in my hands. “You’re not failing me, Dex. You’ve never failed me. Not once. We can do this together. We can make a great team. I believe in us.”
His eyes glisten and I swear his chin trembles ever so slightly. “You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that.”
Summer has fallen asleep taking her bottle. Dex lifts her onto his shoulder, patting her back until she burps and then together, we change her diaper and her clothes. Dex swaddles her and lowers her into her crib, kissing the side of her face before laying her down.
We stand together next to her crib watching her sleep and marveling at the precious baby we created. Staring at her never gets old.
Dex turns on the monitor and flicks off the light as we close her door halfway and then step into the hall. That’s when he turns me against the wall and presses into me. His smokey eyes penetrate mine as his hand smooths down the side of my face.
“Please tell me I get to spend this entire night inside you.”
I sigh against his lips, my eyes fluttering closed at his touch. “I was beginning to think you were never going to ask.”
“Is that a yes?” He growls.
“Hell yes. Please, yes.”
“Thank fuck,” he moans as he lifts me, my legs around his waist, his hands on my ass, and kicks his bedroom door open carrying me into his room.
