Ryan: Please don’t be mad at me.
Rhodes: Absolutely nothing good ever follows that.
Ryan: I need you to promise.
Rhodes: No.
Ryan: No you won’t be mad or no you’re not going to promise?
Rhodes: Just no. Whatever it is, no.
Rhodes: Okay, fine. Tell me. I’m curious.
Ryan: Well now I DON’T want to tell you because you’re going to be mad.
Rhodes: Just tell me.
Ryan: Nah.
Rhodes: Ryan…
Rhodes: Tell me.
Ryan: Or?
Rhodes: Or?
Rhodes: What do you mean OR?
Ryan: Tell you OR what? What are you going to do if I don’t tell you?
Ryan: Fly here?
Rhodes: YES. And spank you.
Rhodes: Except not in a fun way this time.
Ryan: It’s always a fun way. *smirk emoji*
Rhodes: Have I…unlocked a hidden kink?
Ryan: I’m not sure. We may have to test it more.
Rhodes: *warms palm up*
Rhodes: WAIT.
Rhodes: No.
Rhodes: Tell me what you were going to tell me.
Ryan: Nah.
Rhodes: Yes.
Ryan: No.
Rhodes: Don’t make me book a flight.
Ryan: You wouldn’t.
Rhodes: You’re right. I’ll just worry the whole night and play an awful game and that will be on YOUR shoulders.
Ryan: Wow. So that’s how you’re going to play it, huh?
Rhodes: Exactly like that.
Rhodes: Ryan?
Rhodes: RYAN?
Rhodes: Fine. But if I lose tonight, know it’s your fault.
Ryan: Okay, wow. That’s just mean.
Ryan: Poe puked in your bed.
Rhodes: Oh. Is that it?
Ryan: And your closet.
Rhodes: Oh.
Ryan: And in your shoes.
Rhodes: Which ones???
Ryan: And maybe on your couch too.
Rhodes: WTF
Rhodes: Okay, okay. It’s fine. No biggie.
Rhodes: What’s wrong with her?
Ryan: I took her to the vet and apparently she’s eating too fast. I think she’s scared Frodo is going to eat all her food, so she’s gobbling it down.
Rhodes: But they’re getting along so well.
Ryan: I know. But cats are weird.
Rhodes: Well, her throwing up on everything is fine. I’m not mad.
Ryan: So then you won’t be mad if I also tell you I spilled red wine on the couch?
Rhodes: …
Rhodes: You’re going to be the death of me.
Ryan: Am not. I’m cute.
Rhodes: And a pain in my ass.
Rhodes: I need to get ready.
Ryan: GO TEAM GO!
Rhodes: Death of me.
Ryan: You were so close on that goal! That ping off the crossbar was LOUD!
Ryan: Ugh. Fuck New York. That hit was bullshit. Totally dirty.
Ryan: Oh my god. You have to be kidding me?! They called THAT a trip??
Ryan: HOLY SHIT YOU SCORED!!
Ryan: Great. Now I’m wet.
Ryan: Ugh. Why does hockey make me so horny???
Ryan: Hmmm…maybe I should have gotten a new sex toy.
Rhodes: Okay, wow. We need to lay down a few ground rules.
Rhodes: #1: You CANNOT tell me you’re horny and wet when I’m hundreds of miles away. Well, you can, but only when I’m able to FaceTime you or something so we can take care of it together.
Rhodes: #2: If you’re getting new toys, I want to help pick them out. That way when you’re using them, you’ll think of me.
Ryan: I’d think of you anyway.
Rhodes: Hm. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re starting to like me.
Ryan: Your dick. I’m starting to like your dick.
Rhodes: It is a great dick.
Ryan: Yeah? I heard it was a burden. Too big to carry around.
Rhodes: Just the cross I have to bear.
Ryan: You’re exhausting.
Ryan: Good game tonight, btw. You did amazing.
Rhodes: Thank you.
Rhodes: I…I like it when you watch my games.
Ryan: Yeah? Guess I’ll have to keep watching then.
Rhodes: You’re only saying that because they make you horny.
Rhodes: Wait. Are you still horny? Did you…take care of yourself during the game?
Ryan: …
Rhodes: Oh fuck. You did, didn’t you?
Ryan: *zips lips*
Rhodes: Holy hell. I’ll be at the hotel in ten minutes. You’d better answer my call.
Ryan: Sorry tonight didn’t go good for you guys.
Rhodes: It happens. Had to break the winning streak at some point.
Ryan: *picture*
Ryan: This should make you feel better. They’ve been curled up like that together for the last hour.
Rhodes: That does make me feel a little better.
Ryan: I’m still surprised they’re getting along so well. Poe is a moody bitch half the time. Harper thinks it’s funny because Poe is grumpy and I’m not, and you’re grumpy and Frodo is the sweetest thing in the world. She thinks we adopted the wrong pets.
Rhodes: Harper may be onto something.
Ryan: I’m not telling her that. She’ll gloat too much.
Ryan: She says hi, btw.
Rhodes: Is she there?
Ryan: Yes. That’s okay, right?
Rhodes: Of course. It’s your place too.
Ryan: Does that mean I can hang some photos around here? I was teasing about the castle thing, but I’m starting to suspect I was right…
Rhodes: Go for it.
Ryan: Really???
Rhodes: Were you expecting a different answer?
Ryan: Honestly, yes.
Ryan: But I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Rhodes: I do have a stipulation.
Ryan: Naturally.
Rhodes: It has to be your photos.
Ryan: I think I can manage that.
Rhodes: The bus to the hotel is leaving soon. Call you when I get there?
Ryan: Yes.
Rhodes: You should probably tell Harper to leave.
Ryan: Why?
Rhodes: Because I want to see you.
Ryan: Okay…
Rhodes: All of you.
Ryan: Oh. OH.
Ryan: Consider it done.
Rhodes: And Ryan?
Ryan: Yes?
Rhodes: That new toy you got?
Rhodes: Have it ready.
Ryan: *picture*
Ryan: Grams loves her jersey! She says thank you!
Rhodes: Anything to get her to stop wearing Collin’s number.
Ryan: Oh, she still has that. It was under her pillow earlier when I left.
Rhodes: I don’t get it. He’s not even that great.
Rhodes: I lied. He’s the most amazing defenseman on the team. Definitely the best.
Rhodes: Most handsome too.
Ryan: Hi Collin.
Rhodes: Hey Ryan. Your husband is a grump. You should send him more pictures of
Rhodes: Okay, wow. Ignore him. He’s an idiot.
Ryan: Now I’m curious what I need to send you more pictures of.
Rhodes: Nothing.
Rhodes: Though I wouldn’t complain about some sexy photos…
Ryan: I am not sending you nudes.
Rhodes: I never said anything about being nude.
Rhodes: I’m kidding anyway. You don’t need to send me photos.
Ryan: *picture*
Rhodes: HOLY FUCK
Rhodes: Is that…? In my jersey??
Rhodes: You’re seriously killing me right now. I still have to catch a flight home.
Ryan: You should probably hurry up then.
Rhodes: Ryan?
Ryan: Yeah?
Rhodes: I expect you to be wearing that when I get home.
Ryan: Yes, husband.
