Something is off with Rhodes.
I could tell when he came home. There was just something in his eyes that didn’t seem right to me.
I don’t know what it is either. He wouldn’t talk after he fucked me against the kitchen counter. Instead, he took me back to the bedroom and did it all over again.
Something was going on. I could feel it.
But instead of forcing him to talk, I let him take what he needed, thinking maybe in the morning, things would be different.
I was wrong, because that was two days ago and nothing has changed. Something is off, and I want so badly to know what it is. I’ve already decided that tonight when he comes home from his game, I’m confronting him.
My phone buzzes against the desk with my reminder that I have about five minutes to finish prepping for my live video.
In an effort to grow my YouTube channel and get my views up, I’ve been doing live makeup tutorials. At first, I was really nervous because it’s awkward being in front of the camera on a good day, but being live in front of the camera? Downright terrifying. If I mess up, everybody is there to see it. If I say the wrong thing, everybody can hear it. It’s a huge risk to take.
But sometimes you have to play the algorithm game, and right now, I’m playing it.
And it’s working.
Thanks to all my newfound followers and views, I’ve been able to double my income over the last two months. If I keep this up, I’ll be right on track to get my student loans paid off when our one-year agreement is up.
My chest pinches with discomfort.
I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to think about how I’m going to have to walk away from the man I’m in love with.
My timer goes off with a thirty-second warning, and I sit down in my chair in front of my setup. I stretch my neck a few times to get rid of the tightness forming from my nerves. I check my teeth in the mirror, then paste on my brightest smile just as the feed goes live.
“Hey, you beauty babes!” I wave at the camera. “I’m so glad you’re able to join me today. I can see we already have…oh wow, there are five hundred of you here. That’s…oh! It just jumped. Wow. Twelve hundred already? Holy…oh my gosh, there are five thousand of you! This is crazy! This is the most viewers I’ve ever had at once. Thank you so much.”
I smile at the camera, but behind the scenes, my heart is beating rapidly. I have never had this many people on my live videos before.
I glance down to make sure I actually put on clothes just to make sure I’m not naked and that’s why everybody is running to watch the feed.
Nope, I’m definitely dressed.
The views climb. And climb. And climb. Before I know it, I’m sitting at 250,000 people watching.
I’m shocked. I’m overwhelmed.
“Wow,” I say nervously to the camera. “This is…wow! Your girl is a little nervous over here, not going to lie.” I chuckle, hoping it doesn’t sound as fake as it feels. “Okay, let’s just dive into it, huh? For today’s look, I am going with something a little fun, a little funky. I was thinking about turning myself into Alice from Alice in Wonderland. What do you think? That sound good?”
My phone vibrates loudly against my desk, pulling my attention.
“Oh, sorry about that. Let me just turn that off really quick.”
I pick it up and see Harper’s name flashing across my screen. I hit ignore on the call, but before I can even set my phone down, texts start coming through.
Harper: CALL ME!!!
Harper: NOW!
Harper: Do not read the comments. Call me. Please.
I have literally never clicked on comments so fast in my life.
And I regret it immediately.
Hundreds upon hundreds spill onto the page. They’re coming in so fast I can hardly keep up with them.
GirlyGirl18: Is it true?
BathAndBeautyWorks: My god. Shut up. No way.
User256468: You’re not married???
BombBabe: Oh my god, what a psycho lying to us about being married.
MakeupMaddy: Liar, liar, liar.
Hockeyluvr2: OMG, I just feel so bad for Adrian Rhodes. Like, this chick has been using his name and lying like crazy about being married to him. Can you say crazy??? Poor Adrian!!
FckIt: Lying bitch.
BossyBabe3: What a slut.
User0585: Like seriously, how pathetic can you be?? Lying about being married to somebody like WTF?
Liar. Not married.
What the hell is going on?
“So, um, I don’t really know what’s happening here. It seems like I’m having some possible technical difficulties and…”
I fumble my way through the words, unable to take my eyes off the comments that are still coming in.
Kickrocks4: WHORE!!!!!
URLUVRGIRL: Can you say D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E much?!
User835088: hahahaha how sad
PrincessPeaches8: Yeah I am totally unsubbing now. LAME.
KensBarbieGurl: Totally disappointed
RhodesLuvr: Guess this means my man is officially back on the market then!
CometsFan96: GOOD RIDDANCE! Rhodes doesn’t need distractions this season. BACK 2 BACK BABY!
TheBeastsBelle: Sad sad SAD! But at least Rhodes is free now!
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say.
So, I switch my computer off. Disconnect everything.
My heart is hammering so hard in my chest that I feel dizzy and it’s a struggle to drag air through my lungs.
I don’t understand what’s happening but the things they’re saying… They send a bad feeling through my gut. I clutch my stomach, suddenly feeling nauseated.
My phone buzzes against the desk, scaring the shit out of me. I watch it buzz, seeing that it’s Rhodes calling me. I have never wanted to both answer and ignore a call so badly in my life.
With shaky hands, I hit the green button and place the phone against my ear. “H-Hello?”
“Oh, thank fuck. Listen, whatever you do, do not go online, okay?”
“Well, it’s a little late for that. I was literally just on a live video, and I started getting all these crazy comments.”
“Oh shit.”
“People were calling me a liar and a slut and saying all kinds of mean things, untrue things.”
“Ryan…”
“They said we aren’t married.”
Silence.
Complete and utter silence.
“Rhodes?” I ask tentatively. “Is it true? Are we not married?”
He sighs. And just with that sigh, I know.
“No, Ryan, we aren’t married.”
After completely screwing up my life, I ended up in the same spot I was trying to avoid.
On Harper’s couch.
Okay, fine, so maybe it’s not on her couch. I’m in her spare bedroom, but it’s still the same result.
A soft knock sounds on the door as it swings inward. Poe stands, ready to protect me if need be, like the badass she is. I run my hand down her back, calming her.
Harper pokes her head around the frame. “Hey, good morning.”
She says it like I’m a skittish little kitten about to run off.
“All right,” I say, holding my hand up. “Before you walk any farther into this room, I need you to take the kid gloves off.”
Harper makes a show of pretending to peel gloves off her hands, then rolls her sleeves up like she’s ready to fight and continues into the room. She settles in on the end of the bed and stares at me.
The longer she stares, the deeper she frowns, and the deeper she frowns, the more annoyed I get.
I sigh. “Just say it. Whatever it is you’re in here to say, just say it.”
“I don’t have anything to say. I just wanted to see if you were doing okay.”
“I’m fine, Harper. Totally fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry about? Ryan, your husband isn’t your husband. You married a guy in Vegas, decided to stay fake married to him for a year, fell in love, and then found out the entire thing was a lie and you never got married in the first place. What do you mean there’s nothing to worry about?”
Once she says it out loud like that, it sounds absolutely crazy. And, well, it is kind of crazy.
I haven’t spoken with Rhodes in days. I know it was probably immature and completely unhelpful for me to run, but I needed space. Needed a fresh environment to clear my head. Every time I looked around his house, I felt like my lungs were going to give up.
I’m upset with him. Not because we’re not married—because that somehow just feels like a technicality at this point. No, I’m upset with him because he knew we weren’t married, and he hid it from me for days only for me to have to find out on social media during a damn live video.
It was mortifying.
And the worst part is, I don’t know what this means for us.
I need to talk to him—desperately so—but I’m not ready.
I need more time. I need to process. I need to think. I need to figure out what the hell it is we are going to do.
I feel like I’m in Las Vegas all over again, stressing about what I’m going to do with my life. Only this time, I don’t feel hopeful about my future. I just feel really, really sad.
And scared. I’m worried about my career that I’ve worked so hard for blowing up in my face. I’m worried about paying for my grandmother’s care.
I’m worried about how I’m going to forgive the man I love for hiding such a big thing from me.
“If it’s any consolation,” Harper says, “Collin says he looks like shit.”
I laugh. “To be fair, Collin always says Rhodes looks like shit.”
“True,” Harper agrees. “Have you talked with him?”
“Not yet. But I will.”
“Good.” She nods. “That’s good. I, uh, might have pulled a total you and done some social media digging.”
“You did?”
“Yep, and I found the name and personal email of the person who published the article about your marriage not being real.”
“And?”
“And I politely but firmly asked her who the hell tipped her off on this.”
“And?” I prompt again.
“You were right. That Brittney is a bitch.”
I fucking knew it.
Something deep in my gut knew things were off when she accosted me at the gallery. There was something so strange about the way she was phrasing things oddly, questioning my wedding ring, and stalking my social media account so closely. It made me super uncomfortable. I know Rhodes tried to talk with her and figure out what was going on, but he couldn’t get ahold of her. Now I know why. She was spending all her free time trying to figure out whether or not Rhodes and I are actually married and then plotting her revenge.
“I don’t get it. She’s the one who dumped him. Why would she care that he got married or if his marriage is legit or not? She clearly didn’t care about him when she told him to take a hike.”
“Um, because bitches be crazy. That’s why.” Harper says it like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.
“Yes, they do be crazy, but…” I shake my head. “You should have heard the way she was talking about him when she saw the photo of him at the gallery. She was so…mean. Just plain cruel.”
“Maybe she was jealous?”
“Of what? Me?”
“Uh, yeah, you’re kind of a catch, Ryan.”
I wave my hand down my body. “Ah, yes, such a catch.” I admit it, it’s probably been three days since I’ve last showered. I’ve been wearing the same pair of sweats for at least two of them, and I don’t remember the last time I changed my shirt. My hair is a greasy, tangled mess and my makeup is from several days ago.
Simply put: I look like shit.
“Okay, well, maybe not like now now, but generally, you are a catch.”
I laugh. Leave it to Harper to make me feel better when I’m feeling my worst.
She winks at me, then the mood in the room switches back to that somberness that seems to be holding steady.
“What are you going to do?”
I lift my shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“You love him, right?”
“So, so much. He’s…everything I didn’t know I wanted. He’s so much more than meets the eye. I love him more than I could have ever imagined. But, Harper, what if he doesn’t love me back? I mean, this whole thing was a sham, a big ruse so he didn’t get in trouble with his team. None of it is real. Hell, he had to be drunk to get married to me in the first place. Before that, we barely even spoke to each other. He mildly tolerated me on the best of days. I…I don’t know what I’m going to do if he doesn’t love me back.”
The frown that seems to be permanently etched into her face deepens. She reaches over, placing her hand on mine. “If he doesn’t love you back, he’s a fool, and I watch a lot of horror movies. I have some great ideas on how to get away with murder and destroy bodies and evidence like this.” She snaps her fingers for emphasis.
I laugh. “That’s not terrifying at all. Remind me not to piss you off.”
“I’m just saying.” She shrugs. “But seriously, Ryan, if Rhodes is too dumb to see that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, he doesn’t deserve you. If you ask me, though, I don’t think him not loving you is something you’re going to have to worry about. I see the way he looks at you, and it’s the same way Collin looks at me. I think maybe you just need to talk to him and be honest with him about what you want. Because maybe you want the same things.”
“What if we don’t want the same things?”
“Then we start digging.”
