My stomach is in knots as I fiddle with the cold doorknob. I’ve never been one to hold back my feelings, especially when I’m angry.. But this is different. I’ve never felt such extreme betrayal from someone who I trusted before. This is way too close to home. I never expected that I would have to confront my best friend about sleeping with my boyfriend. Granted, Tyler wasn’t exactly my boyfriend at the time, but the details aren’t important right now. Regardless of whether he cared about me or didn’t, and if we were together or not, Jessica knew that I cared for him—deeply so.
Jessica has always been the guy magnet between the two of us. Whether it be for her perfect body that she’s spent way too many hours moulding to perfection in the gym or if her outrageously bubbly personality was what reeled them in, she has always been the center of attention. Regardless of what lured Tyler into her ravaging claws, she broke the number one rule of being a best friend. Never fall for your best friend’s crush. And more importantly, don’t have sex with him. It sounds like a pretty simple rule to follow for most girls, myself included. Yet somehow it’s always the simplest rules that become broken–snapped in half like a brittle piece of tree bark when you least expect them to.
I’ve been scratching my head for hours now, trying to come up with some sort of reasonable explanation, but I keep coming up short of anything other than utter and complete selfishness. It just doesn’t add up, and as much as I want to believe it was some sort of ill-mannered mistake, I know it wasn’t. And I just have to accept that. Jessica has always been this way. I’ve just been too blind to see it.
There was only one solution to the problem that I could ponder up on my drive back from Tyler’s house—eyes raw from the embarrassing amount of tears I’ve shed the past two days and a hole slowly carving itself in my chest—and as much as I wish it was a pleasant solution, it isn’t. I don’t even think there is a positive solution when it comes to such a heartbreaking betrayal.
The flat screen is blaring through the apartment as I suck in a sharp breath and push open the door. My teeth clamp down on my tongue and I quietly slip out of my shoes and walk into the main room. I spot the snake camouflaged as my ex-best friend spread out on my expensive faux leather couch. I let out a cough and roll my eyes when she continues to scroll through her phone, not even paying attention to the loud show that’s making the space between my brows ache.
‘Jessica,’ I say, raising my voice over the T.V. She jumps in surprise and whips around to stare at me with a wide grin. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. ‘Can you turn it down?’
‘What?’ she calls back.
Pointing at the T.V, I lift my brows. ‘Turn down the volume!’
She nods slowly and reaches across the coffee table to grab the remote and turn the show off. ‘Where were you? You didn’t let me know where you were going,’ she scolds like she cares, dropping her gaze back to her phone.
‘I didn’t know I had to report to you whenever I left my apartment,’ I snap.
‘Woah, calm down. I was just saying.’ She drops her phone and lifts her hands in the air in a sarcastic act of surrender.
‘We need to talk.’
‘Now? I promised my mom I would go over and help her with a few things.’
‘Yes. Now.’ I manage to hold back the growl growing in my throat and give myself a mental pat on the back.
‘Okay. So talk.’ She sighs carelessly as if talking to me right now could make her drop-dead from boredom. Spinning her body around, she crosses her legs on the couch.
‘There’s no easy way to say this, b-‘
‘You’re pregnant, aren’t you?’ she asks, jumping straight to it with her eyes narrowing in on me sharp enough that they would have chilled me to the bone if I wasn’t as pissed off as I am. ‘Jesus Gracie, how could you be such an idiot? And with Tyler’s baby at that.’
The way she says Tyler’s name– like he’s the dirt under her shoe–has my nerves frayed and anger starting to pulse deep in my chest. How could that be her first thought? She knows I’m always careful and even if it was Tyler’s baby, it’s not like she knows enough about him to make any kind of rude assumption.
‘What’s that supposed to mean? Tyler’s baby at that?’ I ask, taken aback by her casual insult.
She scoffs and fiddles with the large, tacky gold hoop hanging from her ear. ‘Exactly what you think it means. He’s a dead beat.’
‘Stop it, Jessica. Don’t talk about him like you know him any more than a random hookup,’ I hiss, not missing the shock that flashes across her features at my not-so-hidden accusation. She opens her mouth in an attempt to defend herself but I raise my hand, silencing her. ‘Please, don’t bother denying it. I know you’ve slept together.’
‘It didn’t mean anything, I promi-‘
‘Don’t try to take it back. I know you’ve slept with my boyfriend and loved it. But what I don’t understand is why you did it. Why the guy I liked?’ Each word becomes more bitter than the last as I hurl them towards her. An unmissable ache radiates throughout my entire body. It starts in my chest and spreads like a parasite, eating at every inch of me until there’s nothing but that intense, unforgiving hurt left for me to taste. “You’ve been my best friend for two years, Jessica. Was it worth it? Sleeping with a guy who never was going to give you more than a good fuck? Did it make it any better knowing that I was in love with him? Did it make it more exciting? You knew how I felt! You always have. I would have never slept with a guy you wanted because that’s not something best friends do. But I guess we weren’t really best friends, right?’
My eyes burn as my voice continues to rise until it bounces off the walls. Tears stream down her cheeks, tugging further at my frayed heartstrings as I stay rooted in my spot, rigid. ‘I want you out of my apartment. Now.’
Her jaw drops at my harsh command. She shakes her head just enough to show how badly she’s hoping this isn’t really happening. ‘What? Where am I supposed to go?’
I shrug and force my lips to stay in a tight line. ‘That stopped being my problem the minute you stabbed me in the back. I wish I knew how much of a shitty friend you were before I welcomed you into my life with open arms.’ She continues to stare at me, awestruck as I raise my brows at her. ‘I would start making arrangements. I want you gone by the time I’m back.’ I force the strongly pronounced words through clenched teeth and turn my back to her, heading back for the door. I don’t have anywhere to go either, but I sure as hell am not staying here any longer than I need to.
