‘You’re sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t really want you to go through this alone,’ I mutter under my breath and grip Gracie’s thigh in an attempt to keep myself from getting out of the small sedan and walking into the airport. Gracie only shrugs me off and places her hand on mine.
‘You can’t put a pause on your career for me, Ty. I’ll be fine.’
I’m not sure if she believes her own words but I sure as shit don’t. Even if I did, they wouldn’t take away the guilt eating away at me. The thought of leaving her here alone, worried sick about her mom for the next three days makes me want to throw up. Anything can happen in three days.
This is the first time I’ve left her side since I told her I loved her and fuck do I wish I never had to be without her again. I had denied myself the ability to accept my feelings and act on them for so long that I think I’m trying to make up for the lost time. And leaving for an away game and doing the exact opposite of that isn’t exactly what I had in mind.
‘Don’t lie to me.’
‘I’m not,’ she sighs. ‘Ava is coming to stay with me for a couple days. We’ll keep each other company.’
That makes me feel a bit better. If there was anyone I would choose to be there for her right now, Ava would be my top choice. Not only does she love Anne like a second mother, but she also loves Gracie like she’s the little sister she never got.
‘I’m only going to be gone for a couple days. Call me whenever you need me. I don’t care what I’m doing. I’ll answer.’
Her lips form a smile and she nods, squeezing my hand before using it as leverage to push herself off her seat so she can kiss me. I return the kiss instantly but she pulls away too soon, nodding towards the passenger window to where the airport stands. With a grunt, I grab her hips and pull her back to me. I kiss her hard and long and try to get a big enough fix to last me the next couple of days. I don’t think I could ever collect enough of them to last me, though.
When she giggles into my mouth, I pull back and say, ‘I love you.’
Her eyes warm with what I assume to be adoration as she looks at me through a thick blanket of black eyelashes. ‘And I love you.’ My heart lurches as I grin. ‘Now go before you miss the plane and have to fly commercial like the rest of us.’
I nod and with a chuckle, let go of her waist. She sits back behind the steering wheel and sends me another smile, reassuring me that she’ll be okay. It’s only for a few days. Nothing’s going to happen in three days.
Gracie
‘You know, I always thought she was a bitch.’ Ava shrugs beside me while dragging a finger along the rim of her half-full wine glass.
‘Thanks for telling me that now,’ I scoff and continue to blow warm air on my wet, neon pink nails.
‘What was I supposed to say? Oh hey, your best friend is a total bitch? Yeah, right.’
She makes a good point. Not only is Ava not the kind of person to say that in the first place, but I would have just shrugged her off anyway. Jessica had me wrapped around her finger, playing me like her very own personal puppet.
‘Okay, I get it.’ I give my hand a shake and grab the bottle of nail polish, screwing on the lid. ‘Is it bad that I feel guilty for kicking her out? I know she has nowhere to go.’
‘It’s not bad. You’re human, Gray. You can’t just forget about everything you two have gone through, no matter how badly you want to coochie kick her.’
I lift a brow, snorting. ‘Coochie kick?’
She grins. ‘Yeah. Coochie kick. It’s my new favourite way to thank a bitch. Feel free to use it anytime.’ It’s at this moment that I know I couldn’t have asked for a better person to keep me company the next few days.
‘I feel like that’s been the worst part, though. I just keep replaying memories in my head. I feel like I’m going through a bad breakup. It’s getting tiring,’ I sigh, leaning my head back against the couch.
Ava nods knowingly and turns to face me. ‘I guess in a way, you kind of did. I mean, you even lived together.’
Yeah, it’s just a shame she had to go and ruin everything.
‘You can’t spend all of your time worrying about her, though. She made her bed and now she has to lay in it,’ Ava adds firmly. I nod slowly, letting out a tired groan.
‘Now that we’re on the topic of living with someone.” She switches topics with ease. ‘What are you going to do now that you have the place to yourself? It’s going to be pretty lonely, no?’
‘What exactly are you hinting at, Ava?’ I tease, snorting when she bats her eyes innocently.
“I just think it’ll be too empty with just you, that’s all.’
‘As much as I would love to have Tyler out of that shit box apartment, he wouldn’t go for it.’
She scoffs harshly and green eyes buzz with excitement. ‘Why not? He loves you, doesn’t he?’
‘It’s not that easy.’ Not with Tyler, at least.
‘Make it that easy. You two are my ultimate ship.’
I choke out a laugh and eye her curiously. ‘Did you just say ship?’
‘Yes. What about it? That’s what it’s called, right?’ she asks, clearly flustered and maybe even a little embarrassed. Ava has never been one to keep up with the social media lingo. It’s cute to see her try and be hip.
‘You’re adorable.’
‘And tired.’ She yawns right on cue, eyes watering when they meet mine again. ‘You okay if I go to bed? I still have to call your brother.’
‘Yeah.’ I nod to reassure her when she looks at me warily. ‘Go. I’ll see you in the morning.’
‘Okay. Night night, Gray.’ She gives me a half-hug over the cream coloured armrest and starts walking towards Oakley’s old room. She turns around a few steps away with a mischievous grin. ‘Call your man. I hear he’s missing you.’ She turns back around and walks away without another word.
I move through the darkness with ease and make it to my room without so much as stubbing my toe. After Ava went to bed, I watched T.V until I knew Tyler would be back in his hotel room. It’s now after ten and I want nothing more than to slip into one of his shirts, crawl under the pink bedding that still covers my double bed, and call him.
I don’t bother to turn my bedroom light on. The barbie pink walls will no doubt burn my eyes if I do. I just strip from my baggy clothes and slide under the duvet, swarmed in a wave of nostalgia in an instant. A hint of laundry soap crawls up my nose when I pull it under my chin and close my eyes, wishing Mom were here with me and Ava tonight. Instead, she’s held up in a hospital room alone again. I offered to stay with her, not wanting her to be alone, but she was adamant I not stay. Her dismissal burned me to the core, but I tried to remind myself that she didn’t mean anything by it.
My mom has never been one to let others see her at anything but her best. Sometimes, though, I would be able to catch the hidden sniffles when she was sick with a cold or the grimace on her face when a knife would slip while cooking dinner. But I never said anything. I knew that she felt like she had to be strong for us. She didn’t realize that by not giving up after the love of her life was taken from her, we already saw her as the strongest woman in the world. I have always wanted to be just like her. I just wish she would realize that. Especially if the end is as close as I fear it is.
I’m happy when my thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of my phone. The last thing I need to clog my mind tonight are questions I’m too scared to come up with answers to.
‘You didn’t call me when you got to your brothers.’ Tyler’s gravelly voice makes my stomach flip flop
‘Hello to you, too. Miss me already?’
He ignores me, grumbling, ‘You’re doing okay?’
‘I’m good, Ty. Relax.’ I laugh lightly. ‘How was practice?’ Running a hand through thin strands of blonde hair, I scrunch my face in pain when I tug a little too hard a knot, ripping a clump of hair from my scalp.
‘It was good,’ he hums, and I can almost see the light in his eyes that grows whenever he talks about playing hockey. His passion for the sport is one of the things I love most about him. ‘It’s fun watching your brother taking orders from someone with half his skill.’
‘Yeah?’ I snort. ‘Did he do that pulsing neck thing?’
‘Course he did. I was worried his carotid was going to burst.’
‘Keep giving him a hard time for me, kay?’
‘Wasn’t planning on stopping, Gray.’ His chuckle is washed out by a loud rustling sound that irritates my eardrums before a low rasp tickles them instead. ‘I do miss you, by the way. The bed is cold.’
My heart lurches at his words, nearly coming to a complete halt. Now that I think about it, we haven’t spent a night apart since . . . I can’t even remember when. Tonight will be different without him, that’s for sure.
‘How are you ever going to be able to sleep? Do you need me to sing to you?’ I half-tease. I’m almost positive that I really would if he wanted me to.
‘Depends on what kind of singing you had in mind.’ His voice is like silk, flowing through the phone, teasing me when tendrils of excitement slither up my spine.
‘Singing, not shouting,’ I giggle, feeling my cheeks turn hot.
‘Same thing, I’m not picky as long as it’s my name I hear.’
‘You’ll be home in a couple of days,’ I mutter, suddenly breathless. ‘Think you can survive that long?’
‘No.’ His bluntness has me rubbing my thighs together, heat starting to pool between them. I’ve had plenty of sex in my life, but I’m unapologetically a phone sex virgin. There’s something about not seeing the other person to gauge their reaction to what you say and what you’re doing while you hide behind the phone that’s always made me too nervous. But with Tyler, I think I would do just about anything. Nerves or no nerves.
‘Fuck, I wish you were here. I want to be running my hands along your body and pulling you against me.”
I focus on his words and shut my eyes softly. My skin starts to buzz, my insides becoming a flaming liquid of desire.
‘Is that what you want, Gracie? For me to touch you?’
I nod my head, sighing. I’m too encased in a bubble of lust to form words.
‘Use your words, baby,’ he coaxes and I find my fingers toying with the hem of my panties.
‘Yes.’ I choke on my tongue, gasping for air. ‘I want you to touch me. I always do.’
‘Can you touch yourself for me?’
‘Yes,’ I whisper as my fingers slide inside the silk between my legs, forcing a gentle moan up my throat when they slide along the smooth, wet skin. ‘You too.’
‘That’s it, sweetheart. I already am,’ is his husky reply. My back arches slightly, pulling away from the bed when my fingers find my clit, swirling around the bud and continuing their assault while I push my other hand up my shirt and grip my breast.
‘I’m going to have you face down on this bed the minute you get home, begging for me to fuck you with this dick like the good girl you are,’ he groans in my ear, sounding winded—a sound that only intensifies the growing burn in my abdomen. “My perfect, dirty girl.” His praise has my pussy tensing, like it’s begging for him to come touch me, to make me soak his fingers.
Knowing that he’s pleasuring himself with me, using nothing more than my voice is enough to push me over the edge. ‘Tyler,’ I whimper as my legs spread across the sides of the bed, feet hanging off the sides. My phone drops to my chest as I fist the bed sheets until my knuckles are white. My fingers keep stroking my clit, soaked in my arousal and intensifying the shudders that shake through me.
‘That’s it, baby. Come for me,’ he groans. The sound of slapping skin makes my eyes roll into the back of my head as the image of him lying on the hotel bed, hand wrapped around himself, stroking furiously and bringing himself to a climax paints my vision. His moans cut through the phone, mixing with mine as we both ride our highs.
‘I love you, you know that right?’ he asks a few seconds later, sounding breathy and tired.
‘I know. And I love you.’
‘Get some sleep now, Gray. Call me in the morning,’ he says and I can hear him moving around.
‘Okay,’ I mumble as my chest begins to rise and fall at a steady rate again. I can feel my eyes fluttering shut as my mind begins to shut off, sudden exhaustion taking over.
Tyler’s quiet, raspy voice is the last thing I hear before I fall asleep. ‘Sweet dreams, my love.’
