A blanket of numbness coats my body like a weight, pushing it down. My mind feels muddled with no clear thought or reasoning. It floats, wavering from one clouded void to another.
Something pushes me through the void to the light outside it.
“It’s okay,” a voice whispers beside me.
That voice. I recognize it.
“Ka…ne?” My voice is raw, dry, and scratchy. Like I’ve been screaming for hours. My mind tries to clear the fog holding it hostage, but it’s no use. My brain is just as exhausted as my body.
“Don’t try to talk, it’s okay. I’ve got you, and I’m going to get you out of here.”
“Out?” I mumble, feeling myself start to curl back into sleep.
“I… I didn’t know Kiarra… I promise I didn’t know…” Kane’s sad voice floats around me as I drift back toward the void.
“Hey! What are you doing in there?” a voice shouts out, just as I slowly drift back into the darkness.
My mind is filled with a thick fog that slowly begins to clear. I hold on to it, wanting to stay in the haze, letting it wrap around me and pull me back under.
The pain in my body still lingers, my ability slowly pushing through the stagnant green potion to heal. But the pain is no match for the constant battle my mind and heart are in.
My logical mind wants to figure a way out of this hell, like it always has when it comes to King. To figure out a way to survive long enough to find some hope along the way. To fight. But it was never really me I was fighting for, was it? It was Alana or… Morana.
I wanted to escape so she could be free of the torment and suffering I thought she was going through because of me. If that ended up with us both living happily together… then it would have been a gift. But it was never the end goal. Getting her, and then us, free was.
My heart doesn’t want to feel any more pain. Her betrayal was not something I ever saw coming.
But even then, it’s nothing on what I feel now. On the torment and agony that consume every inch of my body.
My mind tells me to fight, but my heart asks, ‘for who?’
There’s no one left to fight for. And I wouldn’t know where to start if I had to fight for myself.
I’m wallowing in my own self-pity and grief, letting it devour me when a loud banging starts up beside me.
The banging becomes a continuous beat. One that grinds on my ears and shoots throughout my skull like a hammer to the head.
Peeling my eyes open, I squint against the harsh burn from the light above. The half beam is a lot brighter than before, and it takes me a moment to adjust before I can fully open my eyes.
Lifting my head slightly, I turn to look at the source, but there’s nothing there apart from the machine.
The banging picks up speed, and the machine shakes slightly from the impact behind it. It’s coming from whatever is in the next room. As if someone is slamming their body into the wall and using their full weight to do so.
I lay my head back down; the pain growing with each thump, making my mind turn scattered, no longer able to focus or think.
The banging continues, again and again, until my brain feels like it’s about to explode.
I try to move, but I’m barely able to lift my head again.
“Please…” I want to yell for whoever it is to stop, but it barely comes out in a whisper. I need just a moment to think… to try to focus on anything but the pain.
But the loud banging continues, shooting through my ears in waves.
I wait until the wave of pain eases before calling out again.
“Stop,” I plead, but it’s not loud enough for anyone to hear in my room, let alone the next.
The thumping in my head grows sharp, cutting across my eyes and down my face.
“Please…” I beg, but whoever it is still doesn’t hear me.
My teeth begin to ache deep inside my jaw. It makes me want to pull out each one of them to ease even a sliver of the pain.
But the banging continues, making it hard to focus on anything but the pain as it ravages me.
The thumping and cracking and slicing in my head, the sharp cutting stabs into my eyes, all becomes too much… too painful. It overloads my senses. My whole body trembles and screams, craving some form of relief.
Mustering up any and every last piece of energy I have left, I call out once more. “Stop!”
The banging stops immediately.
I hear a stumble and thump on the wall beside me, before short, harsh gasps follow.
“What did you do?!” a gruff male voice calls out.
But I don’t know what he’s asking for, and he doesn’t give me long enough to come up with an answer before speaking again.
“What did you do?” His voice is more violent and angry and claws along my thumping head, making me wince.
“Answer me!” His loud voice slices straight across the top of my head, ringing in my ears.
I wait for the wave of thick pain to pass before attempting to answer him.
“I… don’t know… what… you’re… talking about,” I tell him, each breathless word harder than the last.
He grows quiet for a moment, his short, shallow breaths slowing.
The silence allows me to focus on something else while my ability pushes through the pain. The more time that passes, the less pain I feel as it eases and lifts from my head.
“You made me stop.” His voice is quiet and laced with confusion.
That makes no sense, considering all I did was ask him.
“I asked—” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No. You made me stop.” His tone is thick with accusation.
But how could I make him do anything? I’m strapped down on a table, locked in a separate room.
“I didn’t,” I tell him.
He grows silent once more.
“You made me stop when I couldn’t.”
His words shock and confuse me, as if he’s implying that my words alone had made him do something.
I stay quiet, not knowing to what to say.
“What are you?” he asks, his voice soft.
I continue to stay silent, not having an answer for him or myself.
Loud boots stomp closer before two guards appear at my cell door. Unlocking it, they both walk inside, leaving the metal door open behind them.
“She’s awake.”
I want to roll my eyes at the idiot of a guard. Of course, I’m awake. I’m staring right at him. But I wasn’t stupid enough to provoke him when I was strapped down to a metal table and hooked up to a machine that could electrocute me. Or at least that’s what it feels like when King turned it on.
The guard that spoke has blonde hair and dull blue eyes. He’s looking at me with a spark of interest in his eyes. One that reminds me of the King’s men back in King’s hotel.
He moves closer, along with the other guard. The other one is slightly shorter with short, mousy brown hair and gray eyes. His eyes are not as sharp and cold as the blonde-haired guard.
He watches me warily with a frown. Turning to the blonde guard, he gives him a sharp look. “Don’t engage.”
But the spark of interest is already lit in his eyes and doesn’t dim as he moves closer.
“She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” His words make me feel sick to my stomach.
I turn away from him and watch the other guard, hoping that he’ll lose interest and leave me be.
The other guard huffs a reply, pulling a small rock from his pocket and places it on a small table beside me before turning the machine on.
The metal cuff tightens, and I tense, knowing what’s coming next.
They haven’t given me the green vial, so maybe this time I can heal quicker.
“Come on, we’ll collect the energy later. Our job here is done.”
But the other guard doesn’t move, still staring down at me with a wide smile full of cruel intentions. “You heard what Demetri said. She can’t die. Don’t you want to see it?”
The guard looks at him like he’s crazy. “Fuck no, and neither should you. Let’s go. Now.”
The blonde guard narrows his eyes on me, his friend’s words not deterring him the slightest as the spark grows. He stares down a moment longer before turning and following his friend.
Just as the lock clicks into place, the first slash of pain slices down my body, and drags out, becoming endless.
Moments later, my vision darkens, and I’m pulled under once more.
A thick blackness surrounds me. It’s all I see and feel, like a slick oil coating my skin. I turn around, but everywhere I glance, it’s the same.
Complete and utter darkness.
With not even the slightest shade of gray showing, I reach up to my eyes to see if I’ve closed them. But they’re open, leaving me to think that I might have gone blind.
Logically, it’s not possible with my ability, so instead of jumping to conclusions, I take a deep breath and try to focus on what I can control.
Taking stock of my body, I realize that I’m no longer lying down but standing up.
Am I dead?
Raising my hands out in front of me, I take a step forward. When I don’t fall down some strange black hole, I take another and another until I’m wandering aimlessly through the dark.
The longer I move through the endless black, the more I start to believe that my body has given in and accepted death.
That, or my mind has finally cracked, and I’ve lost it.
Whirling around, again and again, I see no difference, no change… no light.
Maybe this is hell? Or at least my version of one.
A place where I’m completely alone with no one around me. No warmth or love or even light.
My breath quickens, turning shallow the more that I think about this being my afterlife. And if that’s true, then it means that even after everything we went through, I’ll still never get to see them.
To tell them how sorry I am for what I put them through. For causing their deaths. For bringing them nothing but pain.
The thought of never getting to talk to them again brings me to my knees.
Wrapping my arms around my body, I curl into myself, pleading with the gods, or whoever is up there, to let me see them. Even just for one more moment. Just so I know they’re okay.
But the thick silence lingers, becoming stagnant.
Starting to feel stupid for even pleading with some elusive gods, I focus on each of the guys and pull them to me. Wrapping their warmth around me, I hold on tight, not wanting to forget any piece of them. Not wanting my memories of them to dull, especially if that’s all I have left of them.
The pull grows the more I think of them. I think nothing of it, craving them and their touches… their smells and their warm embraces. The tug continues to grow, and I do nothing to stop it, allowing the thoughts of my mates to fill me up, to make me feel less hollow and alone.
It grows and expands until I’m yanked forward. My body turns to shadows and smoke before tumbling into the light.
Stumbling up, I blink against the intense brightness after being in the dark for what feels like a long time.
It takes me a minute to adjust to my new surroundings, as sounds slowly filter in around me. I squeeze my eyes shut and slowly open them. A room comes into view.
One with a large white sofa with plenty of space around it, making it feel airy and spacious. Wide-open windows line the wall, overlooking the heart of a city.
Muffles sounds grow louder behind me, pulling me from my inspection.
The sounds grow louder the longer I listen to them. It takes a minute to recognize their voices.
The next voice that speaks is louder and clearer, making my heart stutter and stop.
I’m afraid to turn around and find out it’s not them. That this is a cruel prank or trick of some kind.
“So far, he hasn’t told us anything useful.”
Axel.
“They’re being attacked by old demons as well. I’d say that’s useful knowledge.”
Rion.
I slowly turn, my eyes widening with what I see, with who I see.
It’s them. The guys. All of them.
Axel leans against the counter, looking pissed off as usual, bringing a smile to my face. Rion and Kai stand close to him, wearing mirrored expressions of frustration.
“The same one?” Jax asks, pacing back and forth, like he has too much energy he needs to release. And Luka…
Where’s Luka?
I look over past Jax to find him leaning against a shadowed wall, staring down at the floor.
Something eases inside me, seeing all of them together.
But they all look… exhausted. Beyond exhausted, they look lost.
I must not be dead after all, because this has to be a dream. A beautiful, hopeless dream sent to torture me some more. Even in my dreams, they’re haunted, making me feel guilty for causing it.
I step closer and closer, making my way over to them until I’m only a few feet away. But they can’t see me. I’m just as invisible as the shadows, watching on as they talk to one another.
“What about Kiarra?” My heart jumps at hearing my name from Jax’s lips.
Axel clenches his jaw. “Draven is still in meetings.”
Kai sighs. “We’re meeting with him later. We should know more then,” he tells him, looking just as annoyed as Axel.
“How’s everything there with you two?” Kai asks.
“Good. Quiet,” Jax tells him.
“At least there’s that. It looks like they need our help with the demons. They’re more… volatile than they expected, but we seem to be able to deal with them.”
“This isn’t what we came here for,” Axel grits out, his dragon pushing forward, his voice growing deep. “Kiarra needs to be the priority.”
Kai narrows his eyes on him. “She’s always been the priority.”
“Then we should hunt down Draven and get him to tell us what he knows.” Axel seethes.
“He obviously needs our help, and in exchange, we’ll get the information we need,” Kai says, his patience starting to waver.
“He could be lying to us,” Axel tells him.
“That’s a risk we’ll have to take. For now.” Kai gives him a pointed look.
“We should burn them all. Make him tell us.” Jax narrows his eyes, the hard set to his jaw telling me he meant it, too.
“I’m down for some destruction.” Axel nods to Jax.
Kai sighs just as Rion speaks up. “We can’t kill them—”
“Actu—” Jax starts, but one look from Rion stops him.
“I know we have the abilities to take them on, but in the end, it will get us nowhere. Draven knows something. We could use this alliance,” Kai tells them.
Fighting starts up, and they hurl insults at one another. Kai closes his eyes, his head tilted up at the ceiling. Jax and Axel go at it with Rion and Luka… but Luka looks so lost I want to just wrap my arms around him and take away all the pain and torture etched across his face.
My boys. My mates. This isn’t how I wanted to see them. Lost. Broken and arguing among each other. They’re a family. My family. One I so desperately want to reach out to touch.
I want to comfort them, but instead I have to watch on while they suffer.
“Damn it!” I shout out, knowing they can’t hear me.
“Why did you have to come after me?” They could’ve gone back to Manhattan and been safe… alive.
“Why did you have to die?” My heart squeezes inside my chest. A tight grip yanks at it, threatening to pull it right out.
I rub at my chest, wanting it to happen. For someone to rip it out and along with it, the pain it carries.
“Please…” I beg. Even if this is a dream. Some cruel, beautiful dream. I beg someone to help them.
I squeeze my eyes shut, letting the tears run freely down my face.
Moments later, silence surrounds me. It makes me think I’ve gone back to the darkness, but light seeps in from behind my closed eyelids, telling me differently.
Blinking away my tears, I open them to look at the guys.
They’ve stopped fighting. In fact, they’re not even moving, just all looking at Luka. He takes a step out from the shadows, looking straight at me—or at least in my direction—a shocked expression on his beautiful face.
“What did you say?” Kai asks him with as much patience as he has right now.
“She… she’s here,” Luka tells them, swallowing hard.
“How?” Jax asks.
“Where?” Axel glances around.
Kai whips around to Rion. “Is the connection secured?”
“Of course.” Rion frowns, looking at Luka. “Can you see her?” he asks him.
“No… but I can sense her… She’s here. I’m telling you.” Luka stays frozen in his spot, staring right in my direction, while the others look around the room.
“I don’t see or sense anything out of the ordinary,” Kai tells him.
“It’s almost as if…” My heart picks up speed as Luka takes a step closer to me. The guys freeze, following Luka’s every move.
This isn’t real, and they can’t see me. This is just another cruel trick my mind is playing on me. They’re gone, and nothing I dream or hope or wish will change that.
When Luka is a couple of feet away, he frowns, looking around me as if trying to figure something out.
I desperately want to reach out and touch him. To run my hand through his beautiful white-blonde strands. To trace the small scar above his eye. To drag his lips to mine for a taste. To hold him tight and never let him go.
Just as the thought leaves my mind, something inside me tugs.
Luka’s eyes widen, his eyes no longer staring around me, but looking right at my face
“Kiarra.”
He can’t… This isn’t…
The guys all freeze, their eyes widening as they also look right at me.
“Princess?” Glancing over to Axel, his anger is now replaced by shock and a glint of hope in his wide eyes.
I know this isn’t real. I know it, but my naïve, broken heart holds on to whatever this is. Whether a dream or some twisted afterlife full of wishes and hopes.
“Baby?” I glance at Jax, his face is an open expression full of sadness and relief.
“Talk to us. Please.”
I open my mouth to speak but only manage to mumble, “Dream.”
“No. It’s—”
A sharp, violent pain shoots through me, making me gasp and bend forward.
“Nooooo!”
They all reach for me, but I’m yanked backwards. I hear Luka calling out to me just as I’m pulled from the dream and back into the vast blackness.
