It was her; it was Kiarra. It had to be. No one else makes me feel the way she does. No one else has the power to make me feel whole.
My broken soul leans into the darkness. It’s why I can see and sense more of the darker, hidden things in this world. And probably one of the reasons I was able to sense Kiarra first.
The part of me that’s shrouded in the dark is only ever silent when she’s around. The constant inner struggle and battle slows down and stops.
I’ve known she was our mate since we were kids. Since she showed up out of nowhere and quickly became a main part of our little group of misfits. We were a group of lost boys, some with fucked up families, but none of that mattered the minute she came along. She made us complete. A true family. One to fight and live for.
When we reunited with her in the Cardinal Three, the side of me that was always fighting with itself went quiet, sensing what she was to us even before we knew who she was or what she meant to us.
Hope. Love. A second chance.
Not just for me, but for all of us. We all have dark pasts that we’d like to forget, but she isn’t just an escape. With one look, she became everything and more.
I move down the hall to the en suite that sits between Jax’s and my rooms. He says he prefers it that way to keep us close. But I know his real reason is to watch me. To listen out for my nightmares. The kind that feels so real, so raw, that I’m taken right back to the slice of the blade and slash of the whip as it burns its way down my back.
Shaking off my fucked-up memories, I turn on the cold water and splash it on my face, trying to tamper down the rising panic.
Glancing in the mirror, I see him just under my skin and behind my eyes. He’s watching… waiting for the moment to escape. To wreak havoc on the world that has done nothing but cause him pain.
But I can’t allow him to hurt the people I care about.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I push him back, just like I do every time he gets too close to the surface when my thoughts turn dark.
I take deep, long breaths, focusing on the present. On the room around me and the feel of the hard, cold marble sink beneath my palms.
There is no danger here. We’re safe, and Kiarra will be back with us soon.
Opening my eyes, my tense shoulders relax seeing him gone. At least for now.
Stripping off my shirt, I throw it to the floor, turning to head into the shower, when I pause.
Are they still as ugly as I remember?
Slowly turning my head, I look over my shoulder at the mirror that now has my bare back on full display. A back that’s mangled in scars from one end to the other and moves around to my hips.
I release a harsh breath, my hands shaking.
It’s even worse than I remember.
Will Kiarra hate it as much as I do? Will it disgust her?
Whatever happened to us when we bonded didn’t fix my messed up back or any previous scars we had. It seems we’re left the way we are but any future injuries heal completely, leaving no scar or trace behind.
Stripping out of the rest of my clothes, I get in the shower, turning the warm water on and letting it run down my face.
I picture Kiarra back with us. Safe. Happy. I think back to the last time we saw her. Just before everything went to hell.
Rubbing my chest, I feel the bond. It’s weak. The weakest it’s been since she was taken, but it’s still there, beating along and in tune with my heart.
I focus on her smile, on the way she’s able to light up the whole room just from her presence alone, how she always thinks of everyone else but herself.
Something that will have to change when we get her back.
She deserves the world, and I intend to give it to her. To show her exactly what she means to me.
An image of her stripped bare and spread out beneath me knocks the breath from me. Her eyes glazed over with need as she looks up at me.
I let my hand run down my chest, imagining it’s her soft touch. Imagining her lips running down the length of my chest and stomach.
My cock tightens, almost painfully. The image of her kneeling in front of me drives me crazy.
I wrap my hand around my hardening cock and squeeze it gently, every slight touch so much more sensitive.
A drop of pre-cum leaks out the tip and I run it down my length. Her lips part as she watches me, her eyes begging to taste.
Threading my fingers through her hair, I nudge her head closer, her wicked smile almost my undoing.
My breath speeds up as I start to stroke up and down it, imagining it’s her plump lips and tongue running along it. The curve of her mouth when she realizes how much power she has over me. The hunger in her eyes as she widens her lips and takes me deep into her mouth.
My breath comes out in short, rapid pants as she pulls back and twirls her tongue around the tip, teasing me and bringing me close to the brink before pulling back.
Using the shower wall as leverage, I watch as she explores the length of my cock with her tongue. I slow down, savoring each moment, pumping my hand around my length as it begs for release.
Damn.
Kiarra leans back, taking me with her. Arching up, I revel in her beauty, in each and every one of her curves.
Smiling up at me with those innocent eyes, she slides a hand down her body, moaning into my cock; the vibration dragging a moan from my lips.
Keeping eye contact with me, she caresses her nipples before sliding lower. Those lustful eyes just for me.
She spreads her legs wide, opening up for me and showing me how slick she is for me.
My heart picks up speed, beating like a drum in my chest as she slips a finger in.
One pump and I can’t take it anymore. I need to touch her. To feel her hot skin against mine as I sink into her.
Yanking her up, I pull her close so I can run my lips along her neck and down her chest. Showering her with kisses before I pin her to the wall, teasing her just as much as she has me.
So fucking close.
Chills spread across my body as my hand speeds up.
And just when she’s begging for me to ease the ache inside her, I’d thrust into her, swallowing every cry, every delicious moan before speeding up, pumping my cock into her slick heat. She’d shatter around me, arching into my body, her own orgasm sending me close to the edge.
My cock twitches and throbs in my hand, then it pulses. I thrust as the pressure builds and hits its peak. My whole body tenses as I come into my hand, the pleasure sweeping in waves across my whole body. I grunt, leaning forward to catch my breath.
Fuck.
Smiling to myself, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A calm, relaxed feeling settles over me as I continue to see Kiarra, happy and smiling.
Her warmth and love wrap around me, keeping me company.
Turning up the shower, I clean myself off. Reaching over my back, I stop, a dark thought slipping in and shattering the warmth inside me.
What if she hates my scars?
What if it disgusts her?
I have to accept that she might not want to touch me. That my own scars—whether they disgust her or not—might remind her of her own pain.
The water turns colder the longer I stay there, my thoughts turning darker each minute that passes.
My happy vision of her fades, leaving behind one with her face full of horror and disgust. Knowing that it could be her reaction to seeing my scars breaks something inside me.
My body fills with excess energy that has nowhere to go. I glance down at my clenched fists and slam them into the shower wall. The wall cracks on the first punch, the tiles and plaster completely crumbling and falling to the floor, but I don’t care.
I drop to the floor, sitting in the destruction I made, water spilling in every direction. I stay in there a few more minutes, soaking up the misery and pain before donning my mask and getting out.
Glancing back at the mess I made, I cringe. I’ll have to get it fixed before Jax finds it. Grabbing my phone, I send a text to one of our maintenance guys to have it fixed as soon as possible.
I quickly grab some clothes and throw them on, pausing when my shifter hearing picks up loud voices arguing. Familiar loud voices.
Moving quickly, I head to where Jax and Jazmyn are shouting at one another.
Turning the corner, I find Jax wearing a smile that’s anything but pleasant. His wolf is sitting close to the edge, riding him hard.
“We wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t important,” Jax grits out, his patience wearing thin. He must have been trying to convince her for a while.
“Unless you tell me something more than the shit you already fed me, I’m not doing shit for you.” Jazmyn crosses her arms, staring Jax down like he’s the dirt beneath her shoe.
“It’s for Kiarra,” I tell her, coming into view.
She sees me, her pissed off expression turning into a frown. I wonder what it’s for until I realize that she’s a damn empathic witch.
Giving her a look not to push it, I continue. “It’s the closest thing we’ve had to a solid lead. Draven can’t find the connection through Kane without you.”
Jazmyn drops some of the tough act, swallowing hard. Jax notices the quick shift in her attitude and gives me a look.
“If you’re worried about Draven, we have his word that no harm will come to you.”
Jazmyn rolls her eyes, looking at us as if we’re both idiots. “I’m not worried about that insufferable dick.” She releases a harsh breath.
“Truth is, I haven’t heard anything from Kane in a few days. It’s not something that I’d normally worry about.” She shakes her head. “He goes off for days at a time, but something about this feels different.”
I share a look with Jax, both of us now fucking worried. If Kane isn’t with King, this plan is fucked.
“What’s he doing with King?” I push her, trying to find out if she’ll give us any more than what she’s told us so far.
Kane was supposedly only doing what he had to in order to find something. Something important.
But she picks up my digging immediately, giving us both a sharp look. “That’s not my story to tell.”
Which leaves us back where we started. How are we supposed to move forward without knowing whether Kane can be trusted? He could be working alongside King this whole time, and Jazmyn wouldn’t be the wiser.
She narrows her eyes at me. “Just know that you can trust him.”
Damn empathic witch.
Jax scoffs, mirroring my distrust. “We trust no one but our family.”
“I get that. Understand it more than you know, but you can trust Kane. You, of all people, should know not to judge someone just because of what they are.” Jazmyn gives us both a look like she had expected better of us, but she really hasn’t got a damn clue if that’s the assumption she’s come to.
“Our lack of trust it not because he’s a demon, it’s because he stood by and watched on as King tortured Kiarra. His damn species has nothing to do with it, and if you knew anything about us, then you’d know we don’t give a damn about what you are, but rather what you do with it,” I tell her meaning every word.
Our family came together broken and forged a bond like no other. We were all outsiders, all seen as something to be feared and killed, but when people judge you based on the fears of others, they never see the real you, only their perception of it. We would never judge those who have no control over what they are or born into.
Jazmyn slumps, leaning into the wall behind her for support, a look of complete devastation crossing her face, one you couldn’t fake even with her tough-as-nails attitude.
“Neither of us knew. Not to the extent…” She shakes her head. “Kane always looked out for her, but he didn’t know. He would’ve intervened.”
“I’m sure he would have.” Jax scoffs, not believing a word.
But Jazmyn wasn’t the only one to blame. We are also to blame. We thought she left us, never thinking that King would have killed Reyna and taken her away.
“What about you?” she asks, turning defensive. “Don’t blame me when none of her so-called friends were there for her either.”
Damn. She knows just where to hit us to make it bleed the most. But she’s right.
Jax steps forward, no longer caring what she means to Kiarra, his pain too vivid right now. I yank him back, giving him a look to tell him to get a hold of himself. This isn’t something we need to get into right now. We are going around in circles, and it isn’t helping us get any closer to getting Kiarra back.
“Look, we just need your help. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want afterward. We just want Kiarra back. We need her back.” I put as much emotion behind my words as I can, knowing she’ll sense the truth and desperation behind them.
Jazmyn frowns, focusing right on me before doing the same to Jax. I know she’s searching us both for any deception we might try to keep from her, but she won’t find any. We’ll do whatever it takes to get Kiarra back, but we wouldn’t send her friend to her death to do it. I give Jax a side eye. At least, not all of us would.
Jazmyn loses the frown before returning to her tough act with more attitude than before. “It’s for Kiarra, right? And he’ll be able to see if Kane is okay?”
“In a roundabout way, yes,” I tell her.
“Then I’ll do it for them, not you.” She narrows her eyes on us both, daring us to push her on this, but since she was agreeing to help, I didn’t care about the why.
“Fair enough,” I tell her.
She turns and walks away, hopefully towards her room to pack.
I turn to Jax just as he speaks. “That went well.”
I release a harsh breath, the morning already feeling like it was dragging out longer than it should.
“As well as can be expected.”
“Think this will work?” Jax asks, a glint of hope in his eyes.
“It better,” I tell him.
I need Kiarra back with us more than I need to fucking breathe. If we didn’t get her back soon, the old demons wouldn’t be the only thing the guys would have to worry about.
They’d have a crazed shadow wolf on the warpath too.
