I don’t have to see her face to know Sasha is frozen.
Her whole body stiffens, and she might as well have transformed into a stone in my hands.
Rai’s unfocused eyes narrow on us as she sways on her feet, the sound of her heels scraping on the ground amplified tenfold in the imposing silence.
That seems to kick Sasha out of her stupor, because she responds to my tightening hold around her waist and abruptly ducks down and crawls under the desk.
The fucking cockblocker Rai doesn’t look away from my half-nude state so, to be a dick—no pun intended—I look her in her dazed eyes and take my time tucking myself in.
Again, I don’t have to look at Sasha’s face to sense her distress. It’s bleeding from her and bouncing off my skin.
Option one: shoot Rai between the eyes and think of a way to hide her body and any evidence that she came to my club.
Option two: torture the fucking piece of shit, and only when I’m satisfied do I kill her.
Choices, choices…
“Was that…” Rai points a finger between me and the desk, sounding drunker than a sailor in his victory parade.
I ignore her insufferable existence and lower myself to my haunches. Sasha is hiding beneath the desk, her legs tucked to the side and face so pale, it appears sickly.
Her parted lips are dry, eyes shifty and scared.
No, not scared. They’re as terrified as if she’s seen a ghost who’s been haunting her for eternity.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be a woman, it’s that I can’t,” is what she’d said back in Russia. It’s also why she’s tried her hardest to keep her distance from the other men.
For eliciting this fear in Sasha, I’m tempted to go with option one and shoot Rai. Fuck the fact that she’s the Pakhan’s grandniece and he’d skin me alive if he found out that I’d hurt his precious relative.
My fingers find Sasha’s cheek to try and calm her down. But not only does she flinch, her body also breaks into a shaking mess.
With an annoyed sigh, I drop my hand to my side.
“I’ll take care of it,” I say in my attempt at a gentle tone that still sounds firm. “Stay here.”
She doesn’t nod or show any signs of hearing me, but I don’t have time to focus on that, because Rai is approaching us. Her steps are no different than those of a toddler who just learned to walk, and I hope she trips on her heels and breaks her ankles.
Or better yet, hits her head and dies. That way, I could confidently say that I’m not the one who did it.
Unfortunately, no falling happens, and I’m forced to intercept her so she doesn’t witness Sasha’s state.
I round the desk and grab Rai by the elbow. “Come with me.”
“I’m going nowhere with you,” she slurs and glares at me. “Do you want to die?”
“I assure you that you’ll be the one to die if you don’t follow me this instant.”
She does try to push me away and even attempts to dig the pointy part of her heel in my shoe, but she’s as drunk as they come, so I successfully drag her out of the office.
“Boss.” Viktor watches the scene with wide eyes. “She threatened to have the Pakhan kill us if we touched her, so I couldn’t stop Miss Sokolov—”
“Obviously.” I glare at him. “No one is allowed in the office until I get back.”
Yuri starts to say something, but I direct my glare at him. “I mean it. If I find out anyone went in there, they better not let me see them again.”
“What is this about?” Rai grumbles like a spoiled rich kid, which she is, actually.
Not offering a reply, I pull her with me to a secondary office and shut the door behind us.
I might have accidentally—or intentionally—pushed Rai harder than needed inside, because she slams against the desk and hits her head on the lamp.
Propping herself up on the edge, she faces me with a death glare, a red bruise already forming on her forehead beneath the blonde hair.
She’s wearing a knee-length black dress that’s more suitable for a funeral than a club. White pearls don her neck, and she has on the makeup of a president’s wife. I know she tries hard to look older than she actually is, and she might manage to fool an outsider, but not me.
Besides, I’ve known her since her grandfather, the previous Pakhan, brought her to the organization when she was a preteen. We’ve never gotten along.
She has some of Yulia’s haughtiness, and anyone who resembles my mother, even the tiniest bit, has a special place on my hit list.
“What do you think you’re doing, Kirill?”
I lean against the door, legs crossed, blocking the only exit. “I should be the one asking you that, considering you chose to barge into my club.”
She folds her arms over her chest. “The club falls under the organization’s jurisdiction.”
“My jurisdiction.”
“As a member of the financial report team, I’m here for revenue control.”
“And when did you intend to do that? Before or after the hangover that’s waiting to happen.”
“I just…got a little carried away.”
“A little?”
“Okay, a lot.” She releases a breath, then narrows her eyes that look too much like her dead grandfather’s. “But that’s not what’s important here, is it?”
A muscle clenches in my jaw, but my expression remains the same. “Care to elaborate?”
“What…was that I just saw?”
“You’ve seen something? You sure it’s not just the alcohol talking?”
“I’m not drunk enough to start hallucinating. Are you perhaps…gay?”
Hmm.
From her point of view, I was bending over a man dressed in a suit on my desk. I was so busy thinking of how to make Rai believe she’s fucking crazy that I didn’t consider this angle.
It would be nearly impossible to make her go whacko, considering it would take effort, careful planning, and, most importantly, time that I don’t have.
“What if I am?” I ask casually.
“Nothing to it, I guess.” She lifts her shoulders, then smirks. “At least, that’s what I think. Everyone else in the organization, however, tends to be old-fashioned and close-minded. I’m not sure they would treat this information as neutrally as I do.”
“Your point?”
She uncrosses her arms and approaches me with confident ‘I’m in control of this situation’ strides, then stops a few paces away. “I can keep this a secret if you do something for me.”
I adjust my glasses. “Which is?”
“Vote for me at the upcoming meeting to become the executive director for V Corp.”
I burst out laughing. The sound is so intrusive and loud that Rai shifts from easy overconfidence to annoyed anger.
“What’s so funny about that?”
I raise a hand, pretending that it takes me more effort than needed to stop myself from laughing. “You. Head of V Corp. That’s what’s funny, Rai.”
“Granduncle is the head. I’ll just be the executive director.”
“Which is another word for the one who calls the shots. That can’t be you.”
“Why the fuck not? Because I’m a woman?”
“Because you still struggle with controlling your bursts of emotions, and the others don’t respect you.”
“That’s only because I don’t have a dick between my legs.”
“That’s part of the reason, but it’s not all. You can still have an imaginary dick and balls.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I resist the urge to throw her against the nearest wall or actually shoot her to get rid of her once and for all.
The alternative is that I have to help this woman reach her ambition in exchange for keeping this whole situation under wraps.
I don’t even like Rai, not that I like anyone, per se, but the reason why I dislike her more than most is her holier-than-thou attitude and unbending personality that could be snapped like a twig.
It doesn’t help that she has a lot of moral ‘shackles,’ and I can’t possibly have her as an ally since we disagree on almost everything.
So now, I have to give up an important position at V Corp to her when I could’ve used it as leverage to gain a more valuable ally.
If Sasha weren’t in the picture, I wouldn’t have to take these extreme measures, but she is in the picture, and I couldn’t remove her even if I wanted to.
I focus on Rai’s expectant face. “You lack experience and allies, in that order. You need to work on that first before you ask for a vote. I assure you that even if I vote for you this time, everyone else, Sergei included, will shoot you down. The current executive director, one of Mikhail’s men, has been bringing in a five-percent growth for three years. If you come up with a way to beat him, by all means, ask for a vote and demand that you’re appointed. That’s the only way for this to work.”
“If I do that, do I have your word that you’ll vote for me?”
I nod.
“If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone about what I just saw.”
“By all means.”
She offers her hand. “It was nice doing business with you, Kirill.”
I shake it harder than needed. “The same can’t be said about you.”
I wait for her to leave, but she just heads to the bar for more drinks, so I go to the main office, in front of which are Viktor, Yuri, and Maksim.
“Monitor Rai,” I tell them. “Don’t let her out of your sight until she leaves.”
“Yes, Boss,” they say in unison.
Once they’re gone, I step into the office. When I find no sign of Sasha, my mind goes to the worst scenario.
She got so scared about the possibility of her identity being revealed that she ran for it.
But if that were the case, surely Viktor would’ve told me.
Is she maybe…
I head to the desk and lower myself to my haunches. Sure enough, Sasha is still beneath the desk. Only now, she’s hugging her knees to her chest, face red, and eyes brimming with unshed tears.
“Why are you hiding?”
“You told me to stay here,” she says so easily.
“What the fuck am I going to do with you?” I say more to myself than to her. Then, seeing her expectant expression, I add, “It’s all been taken care of.”
“How?”
“Rai thinks I’m gay. She probably didn’t even see your face, so you’re fine.”
The unshed tears fall down her cheeks in frightening succession, and she flat out breaks into sobs. The sound is so loud and haunted that I remain frozen.
To say I’ve never cared about people crying would be an understatement. My father made sure to rip that emotion out of me just like he did every other emotion.
But the sight of her rare tears reminds me of her desperation and deep grief when we left the old dead couple back in Russia. It reminds me of the time she started to hate me, put distance between us, and completely erased me from her immediate circle.
She might have followed me to New York, but that was for some other agenda, not for me. She might yearn for my touch and let me do what I want with her, but there’s a wall that separates us.
These tears are a reminder of that wall. A very cruel reminder that I actually have no clue what goes on in this woman’s head.
“I said it’s taken care of,” I repeat in a less gentle tone. “Why the fuck are you crying?”
The shadows from the desk cast dark edges on her pale skin. “Rai thinks you’re gay and will certainly use it against you, right? She’ll threaten you with it and might even put everything you’ve worked for in jeopardy. How is that taken care of?”
“Are you possibly crying because of the implications of this incident on me?”
She blinks slowly. “Why else would I be?”
“Didn’t you say you can’t have your real gender revealed?”
“Oh, yeah. That.”
“Why did that sound like an afterthought?”
She lifts her shoulders and sniffles. “I guess it is. I don’t want others to know I’m a woman, but I’m mostly worried about your position. If the Pakhan finds out you’ve been passing a woman bodyguard as a male or that you’re homosexual, he probably won’t let it slide, right?”
“Let me worry about that.”
“But…I’m supposed to be the one who protects you, not the other way around.”
“You have a point, but you don’t always have to protect my physical body. Viktor and the others can take care of that.”
“What can I protect then?”
“My cock that Rai blocked so hard that he’s all blue?”
She snorts, smiling through the tears, and her cheeks turn a deep shade of red. It’s the most fucking beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
My fingers find her face, and I take my time wiping away the tears that cling to her cheeks, nose, lips, and chin.
She trembles in my hold, and more tears cascade down her cheeks. I pull her forward, then dart my tongue out to lick the tears that are forming a streak down her cheeks and over the edge of her lips.
Her lips shake and I can’t resist the incessant need to ravage her. I remove my glasses and press my mouth to hers. My tongue thrusts inside her welcoming heat, and I kiss her with the savagery of an animal.
Sasha tries to kiss me back with tentative strokes, but it’s impossible for her to keep up with my pace, not when I have every intention of devouring her whole.
Not when every particle in me demands that I absorb her so wholly, there will be nothing left of her when I’m done.
She whimpers against my mouth, her heartbeat clashing against mine and her body going pliant in my hold.
I kiss her as if I’ll never stop kissing her, and she kisses me like she wants to break this twisted connection but can’t.
