The moment I open my eyes, I realize two things.
One, I fell asleep.
Ever since my father started his torture sessions, my type of sleep has been only resting my eyes. I’m always fully aware of my surroundings and ready to spring into action at any moment.
I haven’t had a deep night’s sleep in…maybe twenty years or so, to the point that I’ve forgotten what it feels like. The army made my sleeping habits even more erratic. What’s the point of resting my eyes when I could be using that time to do something constructive?
Consequently, my sleeping time has gotten shorter and shorter over the years. The only exception was that night in the village. I found it concerning then, and it’s even more troubling now, considering I actually fell into a deep sleep for…over six hours.
This brings me to the next thing I’ve realized.
Sasha is gone.
The bed is crumpled where she slept, and her scent lingers in the air, but that’s the only evidence that she was ever here.
I look down and find a blanket has been thrown over me, surprisingly managing to cover almost the entirety of me.
After I put her to bed, I sat in my usual spot on the sofa, meaning to do some work, but apparently, I fell fucking asleep. Not only did I not notice her waking up, dressing, and leaving, but I also didn’t sense her touching me.
Fucking fuck.
I spring up and head to the bathroom to see if she’s there, despite having the feeling that she’s not. I stop at the threshold as memories from last night hit me. The fucking, moaning, slapping, grunting, and crying.
There was a lot of crying when Sasha couldn’t take being fucked anymore, but sometimes, there was begging, too, so I let her come.
The more the tears streamed down her cheeks, the harder I got. The longer she begged, the more I needed to own her so thoroughly, no one would be able to take her away from me.
I wanted to stop after that first time since she was clearly spent and probably sore, so I tried to be a gentleman and took her into the shower. But the moment her body fell against mine in a half hug because she couldn’t stand properly, all gentlemanly thoughts flew out the window. Not that the role had come to me naturally in the first place.
As my nature dictated, I fucked her against the shower wall until she had no choice but to hold on to me. Until she nearly fainted from how many times she came, and I had to use her mouth to finish off.
She did smile, although faintly, and murmured, “Thank you.” Now, I’m not sure what she was grateful for, but I still reveled in the fact that she was thankful to me.
If anyone were to ask what’s come over me, I wouldn’t have an answer. Even I don’t know what the fuck happens to me when Sasha is around.
In the beginning, it was mere curiosity as to why she pretends to be a man, but then I got to know her determination and tenacity, and it grew into a form of respect.
That says something since I only hold respect for a select few people and it took them a long time to earn it.
Soon after, I was irritated that she had the audacity to hide secrets from me when I own her life.
Now, it’s fucked-up desire. The type that’s impossible to satisfy, no matter how long or hard I fuck her. As if to prove my words, my dick strains against my sweatpants, demanding another round in her tight cunt.
No, it’s not her cunt. It’s mine.
Everything Sasha has to give is mine to own, no matter what she says about it.
I head to the closet and change into a suit, still speculating about why the fuck I fell asleep. And why Sasha disappeared while I was sleeping.
She ran away, and you know it.
I button my shirt with controlled movements in spite of the fire that’s turning my insides to ashes. I’ve always been the type to turn calmer but deadlier in situations that go against my desires.
It allows me to see the picture from all angles and come up with the perfect plan to eliminate the problem.
Right now, that problem isn’t the assholes in the organization whose graves I’m slowly but surely digging. It isn’t my idiot brother or my useless mother.
It isn’t even Karina’s wasted life.
It’s the reminder that Sasha has a man somewhere.
I didn’t hear the entire conversation last night, but I heard enough to know she misses him, loves him more, and she’ll soon go back home for good. Oh, and she was smiling like an idiot and kicking imaginary rocks with her foot.
That’s the first time I’ve seen her that happy. It’s also the first time I’ve wished I had the power to pull someone from the other end of the phone and shoot him between the eyes.
But I can’t even find out who he is, because she shot the phone. To protect him.
From me.
My fingers tighten around the button, but I release it before I break the thing off.
She can try to hide him, but she’s underestimating my abilities to find anyone I set my mind on.
After I’m finished dressing, I leave my room and send her a text.
Kirill: My office. Now.
She doesn’t read it. I glare at the phone as if that will make her magically appear.
“Boss.”
I lift my head to find Viktor standing by the stairs and watching me peculiarly. “What is it?”
“The situation is a bit complicated.”
“Out with it, Viktor. Don’t just stand there staring like an idiot.”
“You’re probably not going to like this.”
“In that case, spare me the details.” I pause. “Where’s Sasha?”
“Lipovsky is involved in the situation you’re probably not going to like.”
I narrow my eyes. “What’s he done now?”
“You better see it for yourself. It’s all happening in the clinic where Mr. Konstantin is resting—”
Before he’s finished his sentence, I’m already storming outside. I’m going to break Konstantin’s neck and lock Sasha the fuck up. It’s not enough that she pulled the whole stunt about saving him yesterday, but she also had the nerve to run away from me to go to him first thing this morning.
When I arrive at the clinic, one of the nurses bows her head in greeting. “Mr. Konstantin is in the second room on the left.”
I give a curt nod, and she smiles as she continues on her way. She must think I’m here to visit my useless brother, which is far from being the case.
I’m ready to send him to the grave he escaped from last night—
My thoughts come to a halt when I reach the door to his room. Konstantin sits in bed with a hideous-looking face that has more blue and purple than normal skin, but he’s grinning from ear to ear.
None other than Karina helps feed him some soup while smiling. She doesn’t do that, or she stopped for years, and I almost forgot she has deep dimples in her cheeks.
The fact that my recluse sister actually went out of the house and walked the length of the garden is a feat in and of its own. Not only that, but she’s also visiting Konstantin. I always got the impression she didn’t like him, despite his attempts to take her under his wing.
Another surprising fact is the absence of Yulia from his bedside. In the past, if he so much as fell and scraped his knee, she’d fawn over her golden son for days, always blaming me for not taking care of ‘my brother.’
The funny thing about Yulia is that Konstantin becomes my brother when it suits her. When it doesn’t, I’m just the devil who took ‘her’ son’s rightful place.
Sasha stands by Karina’s side, smiling softly, and the whole picture starts to become clear. She must’ve convinced my sister to visit Konstantin and accompanied her on the journey from the house to here.
Judging by Karina’s long-sleeved dress and boots, she was mentally prepared to go outside.
“She wanted to come last night,” Sasha tells my brother. “But she was wary of your mother’s presence.”
“I see,” he says. “It was good that you texted me. I told Mother I needed another doctor, and she went to personally make sure she gets the best.”
Did he just mention texting? As in, Sasha is texting him?
I’m seriously contemplating why I didn’t let Viktor shoot him last night in that fucking duffel bag.
Sasha nods. “I really wanted to bring Karina here when your mother wasn’t around, hoping to make it easier for her.”
“Good call,” says Konstantin.
“Thanks, Sasha.” Karina takes her hand and offers her a dimpled smile. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“Well, isn’t this lovely?” I stride inside. “A family reunion that’s only missing cake and champagne.”
“Kirill!” Karina says excitedly and jumps up, nearly spilling the contents of the bowl. “Look, I’m outside! I came through the garden and only had one panic attack and…”
She trails off, realizing that she’s talking to me when she swore she’d hate me for eternity. Then she flops back to Konstantin’s side, hugging the bowl.
“Am I dreaming, or are you here to visit?” my brother asks with a hint of annoying gloating.
“Definitely dreaming. I’m here to inspect the situation, not visit.” My attention slides to Sasha, who seems to find the top of Karina’s head interesting.
“Would it kill you to be a decent human being for once?” A tinge of venom spills in his tone.
“Very rich coming from you, Konstantin, considering how you wanted to get rid of me the moment I returned. Who’s the subhuman between us, I wonder?”
“You fucking—” He starts to lunge forward but pauses, then winces and breaks into a fit of coughs.
Karina goes still, her eyes turning shifty. She was never good with stressful situations or anything sensory in nature.
It’s Sasha who delicately rests him back in place. “You’re still recovering. Don’t push yourself.”
My jaw tightens, and I resist the urge to haul her up by the waist or throw her over my shoulder. I don’t, though. For the simple reason that I don’t want Konstantin in my business. If he gets wind of how infuriatingly Sasha affects me, he’ll use it to his advantage. No doubt about it.
“Don’t get involved in this,” Konstantin warns me, still speaking with difficulty. “I’ll find out who did this to me and make them pay. This is my fight, stay away from it.”
“No can do. You and I both know this hit was directed at me, not you. So just stay put and sleep on your mama’s lap like the golden child you are.”
“Kirill, I swear to fuck—”
“Stop it,” Karina whispers, her voice trembling and barely audible. “Just stop this, please, both of you. It’s been years since we were willingly in the same room, so let’s not fight. Please?”
My brother glares at me, but he keeps his mouth shut. I meet his eyes that are a carbon copy of Yulia’s.
He got her looks. I had her character.
Once upon a time, I tried to protect him from whatever internal wars our parents had. I shielded him from the ugliness of our family and took his punishments.
I tried to mentally prepare him for Roman’s inhuman tests and treated him like my best friend. My only friend.
But then a wall grew between us, and that wall is called Yulia fucking Morozova.
The day she helped him off that island, and he chose to ditch me and Karina was the day I lost any affection I had for him.
That incident completely fucked Karina up, and he knows it. He could’ve stopped it or pleaded with his mother to actually save her other children, but he didn’t.
I will never forgive him for that. He’ll never forgive me for enlisting in Russia after he begged me not to.
Now, we’re just enemies. It’s as simple as that.
“We’re leaving, Sasha,” I announce and turn toward the door.
“I’ll join you after I take Miss Karina back to her room,” the little shit says as if I didn’t just give a direct order.
But since it’s about Karina, it’s fine.
Just this once, though.
I find Viktor waiting in front of the clinic, arms crossed, and brows raised.
“Don’t,” I say as he falls in step beside me.
“I wasn’t going to say anything.” I’m almost sure I catch a smile on his stoic face, but he does keep quiet and tells me about the plans for the day. He finishes with, “Damien called me. He said you’re not answering his calls and that you still owe him a fight.”
“Ignore him.”
“He might show up like he did the last time.”
“Continue to ignore him.”
Damien is no different than a rabid dog. He has this fixation on fighting anyone he deems worthy enough, and since I managed to punch him that time, that someone has become me. He won’t stop until I get into some form of a primal bout with him.
After Viktor finishes his daily report, we head to the car. He rides with Yuri in the front, and I get in the back, but I order them to wait.
And we do for over fifteen minutes until Sasha finally jogs toward us, her face red.
She slides in next to me, panting, but she doesn’t look at me. “Sorry I’m late. Miss Karina wanted me to remain by her side until she calmed down.”
“Go, Yuri,” I order, then I click on the button that rolls down the black isolating screen. “I have files to review, so none of you speak to me for the entire ride.”
Viktor and Yuri nod as the screen closes.
I can feel Sasha stiffening before I see it as the car leaves the driveway. When I do look at her, I’m struck by the unnatural paleness of her skin. Her face is soft and so fucking beautiful. Even her now longer hair gives her a certain glow. Maybe it’s that or the fact that I know how beautiful she actually looks beneath that unflattering suit, but she appears so feminine right now.
She stares at her linked hands in her lap as if that will miraculously make me lose interest.
“Now that you have nowhere to run to, care to explain why you disappeared this morning?”
Her head whips in my direction, and red blotches cover her skin as she hisses, “Yuri and Viktor are here.”
“They can’t hear with the screen shut. Answer my question.”
She steals a glance at the front, as if not believing my words, then murmurs, “I didn’t really disappear. I just…woke up and went to see Karina for breakfast.”
“Bullshit.” I grab her by the wrist and waist and then pull her onto my lap. Her head bumps against the roof before she settles in place, hands on my chest and eyes wide.
But there’s another look there. It’s subtle, almost undetectable, but a smidgen of excitement lurks beneath the apparent horror.
“Kirill…what are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m trying to get you to admit to the reason behind your escape.”
“But…we’re in the car. Your men are just on the other side. They could lift the screen any second.”
“Then you better start talking, no?”
“I…”
“Yes?”
Her eyes meet mine, sharp, mostly green, and full of light. “I don’t see what the problem is. We used each other, and that’s it.”
My hand starts to tighten on her hip, but I force myself to stop before I break her bones. My tone comes out calm and light, almost nonchalant. “So we’re using each other, huh?”
“Well, isn’t that the case? It’s not like we’re in any form of a relationship. You’ve made sure it’s strictly physical.”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” My face gets so close to hers, my lips hover over her parted mouth. “You’re the one who’s hiding your lover from me.”
“Lover?” she asks in a low, surprised tone and I almost fall for her spectacular acting skills.
“Don’t fuck with me, Aleksandra. You shot the phone, so I couldn’t find out who he is. But mark my words, I will bring him out from whatever nook he’s hiding in.”
Fire ignites in her eyes, ferocious and deadly. It’s the angriest I’ve ever seen her. Even her expression when Nadia and Nicholas died doesn’t compare.
“If you go after him, I’ll be your enemy, Kirill. And I will kill you without giving it a second thought.”
My jaw tightens. It’s not the threat, per se, it’s the fact that she threatened me because of him.
“You can’t even punch me, but you think you’ll kill me?” The more I talk, the more eerily calm I become. “You seem to have a misconception about me or else you wouldn’t have said those words. I could and I would squash you as if you never existed.”
“Then why aren’t you doing it?” Her eyes brighten with an unnatural shine. “Why aren’t you getting rid of me, Kirill?”
“Because, as you so eloquently put it, we’re using each other.” I pull on the button of her pants, and she goes still, her skin turning red.
I unbuckle my own belt and release my cock that’s been in a state of hardness since I woke up this morning and she wasn’t there.
I lift her up, pull down her pants until they hit the floor, then jam my cock against her boxer briefs. The friction turns me on more than anything I’ve ever experienced.
“Wait…” Her hands curl into my jacket.
“If you want me to stop, say it. Otherwise, stay fucking still.”
She gulps, but she doesn’t speak. She also doesn’t uncurl her fingers that remain still on my shoulders.
I only mean to shift her boxer briefs to the side so that I can have access to her cunt, but I end up ripping them. My fingers get coated with her arousal, and so does the crown of my dick.
“You claim to not want an audience, but you’re soaking wet at the idea of it.” My fingers play with her clit, and she gasps, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. “You’re my dirty little fuck hole, aren’t you?”
She starts to say something, but it ends on a moan when I lift her up and then bring her down on my cock. Her head falls back, and she slaps a hand on her mouth to stop the sound, but that does nothing to conceal the erotic noises she makes.
“See? Your cunt is stretching and welcoming me home.” I grip her by the hips and thrust inside her at a pace that’s more savage and unhinged than last night. “Your cunt knows exactly who owns her, so how about you follow her example?”
Sasha’s only answer is whimpers and the occasional gasp whenever I hit her G-spot. So I do it again and again until her pussy tightens further and strangles my cock.
The slap of flesh against flesh echoes in the car, and so do her moans. When she loses her balance and is about to fall off, she wraps her arms around my neck and looks down at me with those half-lidded fuck-me eyes.
I go crazy, ramming inside her with brutal urgency. She bounces off my cock, then her lips form an O as her thighs shake against me.
But I don’t stop.
And I certainly don’t take it easy.
I release a hip and wrap my fingers around her throat. I love the way her pussy tightens around my cock whenever I’m strangling her. The way she takes me deeper and harder, allowing me access to the most secret part of her.
“So this is what you like being, Solnyshko? My little fuck toy?”
Tears shine in her eyes, and I’m not sure if it’s because of my words or her ongoing orgasm. She does tend to cry whenever it gets too intense.
“You’ll let me stuff my cock into this cunt and use you whenever and however I please, won’t you? You’ll come for me, too, because we’re using each other.”
My strokes get faster and shorter, making her head hit the roof of the car. I pull her against me as I go on and on. Her wild heartbeat falls against mine, and her sniffles fill my ears and then spread to the darkest part of my soul.
When she hides her face in the crook of my neck, I come in her warm pussy. My release is long and hard, and cum smears all over her thighs.
Sasha doesn’t move. Her frail hands are thrown on my shoulders, and her teary face is hidden in my neck. We remain like that for a few moments. Me catching my breath from the most powerful release I’ve ever had. And she… Fuck knows what she’s doing.
After a few moments, she pulls back, her face streaked with tears, eyes red and glittery, but her expression is unreadable. She awkwardly tries to lift herself up so she can make me pull out.
I help her, and she winces, probably sore. Since she was moving just fine earlier, I didn’t consider that she might be sore from last night.
My cum smears down her thighs as she tries to settle in the seat beside me. I grab some tissues and start to wipe her off, but Sasha attempts to take them away.
I fixate her with a look, and she stops, but not before glaring at me as if I murdered her favorite puppy.
After I finish cleaning her up, she adjusts her pants and I do the same, then buckle my belt.
When I look at her again, she’s staring out the window, her arms crossed over her chest. I let my hand rest against my thigh for a moment, seriously considering why the fuck I’m not close to being satisfied with what just happened.
I want to do it again and again and again.
Better yet, I want to lock her up where only I can have access to her, and that’s a fucking dangerous thought.
I’ve never wanted to keep someone before. Never thought about fucking them again the minute I was done.
“You didn’t use a condom,” she murmurs, still staring at the streets. “You didn’t last night either.”
“And?”
She whips her head in my direction, a line appearing between her brows. “Ever thought of the possibility of impregnating me? My cycle has been all over the place since I joined the army, and I’m not sure the shot works.”
“It probably does.”
“Probably? That doesn’t sound very convincing.”
I lift a shoulder even as I completely pause on the inside. I’ve never had sex without a condom or without a professional cleaning the premises soon after.
That started after a gold digger nearly made me impregnate her, and another tried to sell my cum.
So why the fuck did I completely forget about that angle when I was fucking this woman?
Her brow furrows. “Still, you should use a condom for safety.”
“I’m clean. I’m sure you are, too, considering how tight you felt the first time. You probably haven’t had sex for a long time.”
Her cheeks redden, but she stares out the window again.
“You haven’t had sex for a long time, right?” I ask again.
“Why is that important?”
I wrap my fingers around her wrist and squeeze until she finally faces me. “Were you perhaps…a virgin?”
The red that spreads from her neck to her cheeks and ears is all the answer I need.
Fuck me.
When I found her impossibly tight last night, I honestly thought she’d been celibate for some time. She also didn’t bleed, but then again, not all women bleed.
“I’m your first?”
She visibly shivers, and I don’t know if it’s due to the way I dropped my voice or the question itself.
“It’s not that important, okay? Besides, I had a boyfriend when I was a teen and we did stuff and—”
“Don’t. One more word and I will make it my mission to find this ex-boyfriend of yours and fuck up his life.”
Her shoulders drop. “Do you have to be like…this?”
“This?”
“Antagonistic for no reason.”
“Obviously, there’s a reason, but that’s not important right now, is it? The fact that you chose me as your first is.”
“I didn’t choose you. It was just convenient.”
Convenient. Hmm.
So I’m reduced to convenient now. That’s certainly the first time anyone has ever used that word for me. I’m many things, but fucking convenient isn’t one of them.
It doesn’t matter.
If using each other physically is what it takes to keep her by my side and away from whatever motherfucker she’s protecting, then that’s exactly what will happen.
I’ll trap her so deeply, she’ll have no way out.
Sooner or later, she’ll have no choice but to forget about her lover and be with me.
