On his drive home, Murphy allowed himself to forget the victims of the day. The two from that morning, the eighteen-year-old girl who was still missing. He drove the faces of them out of his mind, attempting to clear it.
As he travelled back home through the streets of Liverpool it was as if the car were driving itself; the roads so familiar he barely acknowledged the journey. His home appeared in front of him as if by magic. Murphy listened to the radio for a few seconds more before another advert came on. He switched off the engine and got out of the latest attempt he’d made to bring some joy into his life. Barely a year old, a Citroën C5. Red, to match his favourite football team.
‘You still up?’
‘Living room,’ came the response.
Normality. That’s the effect a voice can have on a person.
‘You had your tea?’ Sarah said as Murphy walked into the living room, kissed her on the top of her head and sat down in his chair.
‘Had a sarnie earlier,’ Murphy replied, slipping off his shoes and moving them out of his way with one foot. ‘I’ll grab something in a bit.’
‘Kettle’s just boiled if you want a drink.’
‘No, I’m fine. Just want to sit for a bit.’
Murphy focused on the TV, smiling as Sarah switched from the news to his least favourite channel. The one she watched constantly, Comedy Channel or whatever. The Friends channel he called it. No matter what time of day, that damn programme always seemed to be on.
He became aware of her waiting for him to speak. Murphy’s smile fell little by little. He stared at the screen as canned laughter accompanied another unfunny line.
‘You’ve been watching the news then,’ he said, giving in earlier than he wanted to.
‘Only bits,’ Sarah replied, pulling on the bottom of her blonde hair, placing a few strands in her mouth. ‘How’s it going?’
‘Slow,’ Murphy said, turning away from the TV and meeting her gaze finally. She could still give him a jolt, warmth and love radiating from her in a simple glance.
‘Doesn’t it always at the beginning?’
‘Not always.’
‘Well,’ Sarah began, turning away from him and facing the TV again. ‘I’m sure you’ll sort it all out. That’s what you always do.’
Murphy averted his stare and focused on the side of her head, rather than her eyes. ‘Not always. We still haven’t caught a few people, you know. Still trying to track down who keeps nicking my bloody HobNobs in work. You offer them out one time—’
‘I get the point, you sarcastic git,’ Sarah said, turning back to him with a smile. ‘You need to eat. I’m knackered, though, so order in if you want something.’
‘I’ll have a look in a minute. Just want to sit for a bit. How was your day?’
Sarah rolled her eyes at him. ‘The usual. I’m basically a children’s entertainer. Trying to teach a class of five- and six-year-olds anything is more difficult than it sounded. I miss my year fives.’
‘You were the one who wanted a change. Only a few months left in the school year now anyway.’
‘Four months,’ Sarah said with a sigh. ‘Not sure the head would let me go back to the older ones anyway. There’s this kid in my class, cute little thing with glasses, who just wants to read. That’s all she wants to do. Her reading level is about three or four years ahead of everyone else’s. So bright, really clever. Uses the most incredible words for a five-year-old. And I’m supposed to stop her doing that and teach her the times tables and make her copy out stupid bloody royal family trees instead. It’s heartbreaking.’
Murphy smiled at Sarah, feeling the warmth exude from her as she spoke. ‘Maybe you care too much?’
‘You’re joking, aren’t you?’ Sarah replied, snorting as she spoke. ‘There’s a fair few of them I wouldn’t mind pitching into the bloody Mersey, I’ll tell you that. Even at that age you can tell which ones are going to be little bastards as they grow up. You can tell just by standing in the playground at home time and listening to the parents. And the names of some of them . . .’
‘Careful. You’re beginning to sound like that attention-seeking bint who’s always on This Morning.’
Murphy received a cushion flung at his head in response.
‘Sorry,’ he said, laughing as he picked up the cushion from beside him. ‘That was probably too far.’
‘Damn right it was,’ Sarah said, crossing her arms and frowning at him. ‘Anyway, those are my days. Corralling a bunch of kids together, with the help of a teaching assistant who I’m pretty sure doesn’t want to be there any longer. All the while making them do things they don’t want to do, because someone who probably hasn’t met a six-year-old in their life has decided what’s best to teach them.’
‘Could be worse,’ Murphy said, smirking. ‘Could be four-year-olds.’
Sarah grinned back at him, running a hand through her hair and pushing it back from her face. ‘Go and get something to eat. I don’t want to hear your stomach growling all night. There’ll be something in the fridge, I imagine, if you don’t want to order in.’
‘I’m sure I’ll find something,’ Murphy replied, standing up and banging the living-room door open.
‘You know, Sarah,’ he shouted back from the kitchen. ‘Used to be that the wife would have her husband’s tea ready on the table for him when he got home.’
Murphy opened the fridge, looked over its contents, shut the door. Did the same with the freezer and stood up to look through the cupboards instead. He was aware of Sarah standing in the doorway, but pretended to ignore her presence.
‘Used to be that the wife wouldn’t have anything else to do but tend to the house and kids. But we have no children and I have a full-time job. So you can sort yourself out, you cheeky get.’
Murphy grinned back at her and placed his hands in front of him as if in prayer and bowed to her.
‘We need to sort these cupboards out,’ Murphy said. ‘A tin of oxtail soup, a few tins of chopped tomatoes, and some mixed fruit.’ He took the latter out and held the browning can towards Sarah. ‘Think I won this in a raffle years ago.’
‘I saw Jess today . . .’
‘Yeah,’ Murphy continued, as if Sarah hadn’t spoken, ‘that one at that church thing you made me go to at Christmas. Never been back since, but you convinced me it was something that would become tradition. Us going to the church fair at Christmas time. Then lighting candles on Christmas Eve at midnight.’
‘Did you hear what I said?’
Murphy turned the tinned fruit over in his hand, walked over to the pedal bin in the corner of the kitchen and dropped it in. ‘This is ages past its sell by date.’
‘Two year anniversary is coming up . . .’
‘And let me guess . . . I’m not to show my face?’
‘Something like that. Although she is softening. She actually asked how you were this time.’
‘What did you tell her?’
‘The truth. That you’re still carrying it, but that you’ve managed to get better over time. That the nightmares seemed to have calmed down a lot now. That you haven’t forgotten what happened, but at least your life is in a better place.’
‘I still think it’s weird that she speaks to you and not me. I’ve known her for over twenty years.’
‘It’s still hard for her, you know that. Peter dying in the way he did, it changed her. She’s not the same person any more. She’ll come around eventually. Just takes time.’
Murphy closed the cupboards, rubbed his stomach and tried to decide if he was actually hungry or not.
‘Well, I’ll be here when she’s ready. Now, shall we stop this charade where we pretend to have a proper conversation first and just go upstairs?’
Sarah lowered her head as she suppressed a grin. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’
* * *
Rossi decided her timing couldn’t be worse; the start of what promised to be a major investigation colliding with the start of what could be her first proper relationship.
Not a drunken one-night stand, or an affair with a married man. An actual relationship in a life of failed ones. A myriad of non-starters.
A few years earlier, there had been promise of a romance with a man who had been a murder suspect in her first case with Murphy. That had fallen at the first hurdle of reality a few weeks later. The pointed barbs from her mother – Mama Rossi – were becoming more explicit by the visit. Rossi’s lack of interest in being part of a couple was not shared by her old-school mother. It was the done thing. She was supposed to be married off by now, according to Mama Rossi. Happily supplying her mother with grandchildren to fuss over.
Two bodies found in her division, minutes after a guy walks into her station and confesses to a murder her boss doesn’t believe has happened. All in one day. Her reaction was not to go home and lie in her bathtub for an hour before getting an early night.
No. She was going out.
She had met Darren Logan through a friend weeks earlier. It had been a pity set-up, by someone who could no longer hide their disappointment at a single friend in a group of couples.
Who the hell had blind dates in 2015 anyway?
Rossi thought back to that night those few weeks before as she sat in front of her mirrored wardrobe and applied a third different shade of lipstick. She had made little effort, jumping in the shower once she’d made it home then changing into her most casual of going out outfits. Jumper dress, black tights and boots.
Darren Logan. She remembered being told about him and deciding he sounded too good to be true. Good job, good education. According to Christina – the friend in question who had set them up – he was also good-looking. She hadn’t used the words tall, dark and handsome, but from her description it sounded as if the cliché would fit.
She wouldn’t have been far wrong.
Since that initial first date, they had seen each other more than a few times. Rossi wasn’t a wait-and-see kind of girl, so she’d slept with him on the second night out. She had been suitably impressed to agree to a third night. Other than that, they’d spoken mostly by text. Flirty messages becoming gradually more filthy. He had been funny, even if he did sometimes overuse those emoticons she had yet to decide if she liked or not. Nothing that screamed BAD GUY or anything as ridiculous as that.
Maybe too normal.
Now she was dressing up again. Deciding what to wear then discarding her choices. Checking the time and swearing as the clock conspired against her. Rossi dried her hair, taking a minute to decide if she wanted to straighten it as well, before checking the clock again and deciding to leave it to curl.
She sent him a text to let him know she was running late but she would be there soon. Knowing that she had an early morning, she decided against a taxi into town and picked up her car keys.
Checking the mirror image of herself in the hallway of her flat, she nodded and said, ‘That’ll do,’ under her breath.
Timing. It was all down to timing. Get that right and things will go perfectly. It was the way things worked, she’d found. She had made sure to tell Mama of her burgeoning relationship, just to keep her quiet for a week or so. Rossi thought of Murphy and shook her head as she recalled the almost constant ribbing he was giving her for the relationship.
Darren Logan. She had found herself putting her first name with his last and had almost decided to end it all that moment. Laura Logan sounded like a news reporter or a comic book character. He lived near Crosby, in an apartment . . . which wouldn’t work in the future. She didn’t want to live that far north in Liverpool. She thought about a bright future together, knowing his job as an anaesthetist at the Royal Hospital was secure enough financially.
She was annoyed with herself for thinking about these practical things. It had only been a few weeks, but she was already considering a future. It was so far away from her normal thoughts that it continued to jar her every time her mind drifted that way.
It was already too much effort, she thought. Having to wonder if this was The One, as if everyone only ever had a single ‘one’. She left her little house, unlocking her car before reaching it. The street was quiet, the evening almost in total darkness.
A couple of hours, a meal and no alcohol. Then, back to her home for an early night. That was her intention.
When she walked into the restaurant fifteen minutes later – seeing Darren sitting there, hair flicked back, designer stubble and eyes lighting up at the sight of her – all thoughts of that went out the window.
Sometimes she just needed the comfort of normality. Darren stood up and brushed her cheek with his lips, the stubble on his jawline rubbing against her face a little.
Rossi smiled back at him. Decided it didn’t really matter if she was late the next morning.
