A JOB.
A fucking job.
Blue had asked for the one thing I was easily capable of giving, and yet, I didn’t want to give it.
I slid my glass across the metal bar from one hand to the other, listening to the ice hit the circumference. Until now, I hadn’t had a drink all day, so it was only fitting I’d drank my Bourbon before the frozen rocks could serve their pursuit. Before they served a chance to alter the flavour.
Much to my dismay, Blue was mingling with Noah in one of the booths behind me. Seventeen years of age, yet acting like she had every right to be exactly where she was, in the midst of my fucking club during happy hour. My best efforts to send her back to the penthouse had been futile since she’d spent the whole day learning every square inch of my building. It was the same way my soon-to-be ex-wife thought it was okay to ring my office, warranting my attention when we were no longer together. Except Blue was different. As much as I tried to convince myself I didn’t like having her around, I knew I was lying to myself. Fuck, she probably knew it too after what happened in my office.
I scoffed at how easily she had me eating out the palm of her hand. Clearly, my brain was too slow to play catch up with my cock.
“A third, boss?” my barman, Louis, asked me. However, he was subtly checking out Blue over my shoulder while he spoke. I made it a habit to know the names of all my staff. Even those dressed like they were part of a prestigious boy band and didn’t know their arse from their elbow. Blue Sterling wasn’t a name I wanted on that list or Louis’s bedpost. I chose to ignore how his eyes lingered on her legs, knowing I had my erection pressed against her underwear not so many hours ago. And how my mind conjured up dirty thoughts just this morning. Thoughts that I could have easily indulged in across my office desk.
Blue had killer legs.
Legs I’d want wrapped around me as I fucked her religiously, if she was only a little older. A little fucking wiser. A little less of a Sterling.
How far was I prepared to go if the phone hadn’t rung? How far was she?
She was pushing me, and she knew it. In fact, I had every belief she liked it.
Guilt ate at me.
“Have you ever been blackmailed, Louis?” I asked, my eyes shifting from Blue to him. Because that was essentially what was happening. It was a poor attempt at best. It may have started out as a petty threat, but then it became something for her to hide behind. Blue Sterling was attempting–very terribly–to blackmail me into giving her a job in the pretence of telling her father I’d slept in her bed. Amongst other things too little to count. In my gut, I knew she wouldn’t go through with it. Something inside of me was realising I could trust her, despite what she said.
More fool me if I was wrong.
The issue was, she was just a naive fucking girl with her head to the clouds, wanting to live in a big man’s world. But maybe, on the other hand, she was someone who knew what she wanted.
She walked into my office, stood her ground, and handled me like a fucking puppet. And I wasn’t used to that.
I’d never experienced that.
I’d never been at a woman’s mercy.
I’d never found myself wanting to see how far a woman could push me the way she did until I snapped and pushed back.
Thank fuck that phone did ring.
With a chuckle, Louis shook his head. “I have not.”
He took a fresh glass from beneath the bar and poured me another of The Lagoon’s top-shelf Bourbon. Before he could throw his frozen rocks in my glass, I put my hand out, halting him. “No ice.”
He nodded and then placed my drink in front of me. “Dare I ask who’s blackmailing you?”
I snickered. “Not if you want to keep your job.”
He held up his palms, eager to back off. He knew I’d sack him on the spot, given any wrongdoing. Then he left me alone to wallow in my mood and instead found his way to the commotion awaiting him at the far end of the bar. It was relatively busy for midweek and would likely get busier within the hour. Everyone who was anyone wanted to be in my club, eyes open and ears alert to get their heavy bets in for fight night.
I looked over my shoulder at my brother and Blue conversing in whatever idle chit chat they’d been at for the last however many hours before diverting my attention to my drink. It concerned me some, and I didn’t want to see her smiling at my brother, who happened to be much closer in age to her than I was.
Worse yet, I didn’t want him to slip up.
What did that say about the way I was feeling?
My hand wrapped around my glass, then I brought it to my mouth and threw the warm liquid to the back of my throat. A bittersweet sigh left me, only partially appeased, while I placed my glass back on the bar.
Another, and maybe then I’d taste comfort.
Another two, and maybe only then I’d taste relief.
I STUMBLED through the elevator with bodies on either side of me, hands and arms holding me up. I couldn’t have said how many, my eyesight too foggy, and my mind too fucking slow.
“Blue,” I muttered, raising my head in search of her. “Where is she?”
A scoff sounded from behind me. I wasn’t confident it was from her mouth, but part of me knew it was. She’d been in my life less than a week, and I’d memorised more of her than I cared to confess.
“Don’t worry; we got her. You should get into bed.”
“We?”
“Me and Fin, big bro.”
I rumbled in response, then murmured something meant to be “Bed,” but it didn’t come out quite as I hoped. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell them Blue had been sleeping in my bed. That I’d taken the sofa. That I couldn’t just go and… “Shit, why’d you let me drink?”
My body and head felt ready to drop as Noah’s and Fin’s arms grew slack. Then it was Noah I heard scoff. “That’s all on you, man.”
Fin didn’t need to say anything for me to know what he thought. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d questioned my alcohol intake. And if he chose to tonight, I imagined it wouldn’t have been the last.
Forcing my legs to hold my weight, I stumbled away from them and through the penthouse. Muffled voices spoke from behind me, only growing distant when I reached the door of the master suite. Blue’s perfume invaded my senses as soon as I entered, inciting a groan from me as I slammed the door closed.
I told myself just a laydown, and later I’d drag my ass back to the sofa.
I sat on the bed, my fingers moving to my collar, where I began loosening my tie. Then with my tie all but hanging around my neck, I fiddled with the buttons of my shirt. Before I knew it, drowsiness had me lying on my side and my eyes growing heavy.
Ten minutes.
I’d give myself ten minutes.
It didn’t feel any longer than five when I heard the faint sound of the door opening, but I was too out of it with the room spinning around me to give a shit who entered.
Nah, I wasn’t getting up.
The sofa could go fuck itself.
BLUE
WITH THE CURTAINED voiles wide open, the city illuminated the room enough for me to see Walker in a state of undress. He still had his trousers on, but his shirt was hanging open, his toned chest on display. I walked over to the bed, placed a glass of water down on the bedside table, and then slipped two aspirin from my pocket that I’d raided from the kitchen drawer before placing them beside it.
When I turned to face the bed, I found Walker’s eyes on me. He didn’t need to say anything. There was something in his gaze that told me he was thankful, maybe even surprised, for the small gesture.
“I’m still angry at you,” I explained. I couldn’t forget what had happened–what he did–or how much my life had changed. That he was the culprit at the cause of it.
“Be angry at me, then,” he mumbled. “Trust me, I deserve much worse.”
I paused. “If we’re going to talk about it again, I’d rather do it when you’re sober.”
He didn’t respond, his eyes having closed again. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt the need to care for him like he’d been taking care of me. And because of that, I stepped further down the edge of the bed and removed his shoes before placing them on the floor. Then, I pushed his legs up onto the bed so at least he’d be somewhat comfortable.
I couldn’t do much else, so that’s how I left him while I took myself to the en-suite with a clean pair of pyjamas. Once I’d redressed, cleaned my face of the day’s make-up, and brushed my teeth, I took my medication from the bathroom drawer and popped one pill from the foiled packet.
I wished that taking them at night meant they’d keep my nightmares at a distance, but there were often times that one slipped through the net. I told myself a vivid dream was still just a dream, but I’d dreamt of my mother and the night she died so much in recent years, I knew my dream held more of my memories than it did my imagination. Though it was never the accurate recognition of the night–a child as young as I was wouldn’t have remembered the event that decidedly mapped out their future. At least, that’s what I tried to convince myself when I suffered the horrific flashbacks.
They were purely something my overactive brain had conjured up over the years as I tried to place together the night which changed me. The night that altered both my father’s and my life. It was how my mind tried to understand my father better. His need for control. His reasoning for being so protective. It was how I pieced together the jigsaw puzzle that made up the traits of my character. Heightened by the fear of dying before I’d ever lived, contradicted by the fear of being afraid to.
Afraid to live.
Scared to die.
I’m certain it made little sense to anyone who wasn’t me. Which was a reason I kept it locked away. All padlock, no key.
I swallowed my medication before making my way back to the bedroom. Walker laid on his side, his eyes still closed. I didn’t mind that he’d slept beside me last night, which was why I climbed onto the bed beside him. Only I got under the covers while he remained on top. Though I’d attempted to blackmail him, I had no interest in telling my father what’d happened. In my frustration, I’d said some things I didn’t mean. But making Walker’s life miserable because he made a mindless mistake wasn’t me. A life back in Miami wasn’t me either. I’d appeal my suspension as a backup. But a job at The Lagoon–working as a social media specialist for an already established business–my father’s business–was essentially a step up. I had no idea why I hadn’t considered it sooner.
Rolling onto my side, I stared at Walker’s back. I never believed I’d find myself in a situation like ours. Let alone with an almost stranger. It was odd how I’d never slept beside the opposite sex until the night before and how it felt so incredibly ordinary. I’d expected the first time to be much different from how it played out, which was why, despite a barrier between us, I found myself snuggling against him for the second time. If he was awake, he didn’t say anything. And amidst the quiet, and the tug of our unseeable strings, I didn’t either.
