THE ELEVATOR OPENED, and both me and Blue stepped out, but not before I planted a kiss on her temple. As much as I wanted to kiss her thoroughly, with tongue, teeth, and my hands in her hair, I was afraid if I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. That I’d drag her to my office and have her writhing on my desk with my fingers in her pussy.
“What did you mean by okay?” I asked as we walked. I’d never had that response. Granted, I hadn’t much of a relationship with a woman outside of the bedroom other than Sophia, so I couldn’t help but feel like okay was a trick or some code I was supposed to decipher. This was all new to me. Like a toddler who’d gone from Velcro to laces. When in actuality, Blue was probably less experienced than I was when it came to whatever the fuck it was we were doing. I knew better than to believe in fate. In serendipity. In fairy tales. But Blue… she made me believe in something. Fuck, maybe she was the one to give me something to believe in. Even if I had no idea what the fuck that something was or what direction it could go in other than one which turned around to bite me on the ass.
“I just meant okay.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
“Yes,” she replied slowly, her eyebrows pulling in a frown. “You’re overthinking, Nate.”
“Girls overthink. Not men.”
“I understand that this is work. The club is important to you. And we… me, I’m something different,” she explained. “It’s separate.”
“Separate.” The word left a bad taste in my mouth. If only she knew just how close to work she was. If only she knew that she was with me out of not much more than a trade.
It seemed that ship was no longer smooth sailing because I’d hit rough and murky waters.
I breathed deeply, walking with her to the lobby to meet Olivia, leaving enough distance between us so we didn’t attract any extra attention. Despite that, temptation made me want to reach out and devour her. Touch her. Just spend time with her. Just us, back at the penthouse, away from prying eyes. Back in my bed, where I had her body naked and content against mine.
When had I ever said that about anything, or anyone, ever before in my life?
Guess I was love drunk.
Not love drunk.
Lust drunk.
My cock was drunk on her pretty pussy and pert tits.
But it wasn’t just that, was it? I’d gotten to know her. She’d gotten to know me. And not the me that everyone else knew. Not Walker, but Nate. I was Nate with her. A little softer. A little more gentle.
I took a further step away from her when we neared the lobby. At this precise time in the morning, it was busier on this building level. And it was one thing if everyone believed me to be happily married, but it was another for them to look at me like I was having an affair with a girl almost half my age. Which… they weren’t. But I couldn’t be sure that the guilt for betraying James’s trust like I had wasn’t noticeable just by analysing me, which was why I needed to keep my distance and treat Blue like anyone else who worked for me and not look at her like I cared about her more than I did anyone else.
Separate.
I was fucked.
“Hudson,” I addressed as we entered the lobby. He sat beside Olivia on the sofa, his hand on her thigh. I raised an eyebrow. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Where should he be?” Blue asked from beside me. She was close. Close enough to get a whiff of her perfume. The one I loved to hate and hated to love. And it was very fucking distracting. The fantasy pulled me away, and I envisioned what it would be like to have her between my sheets every night, wearing nothing but that scent.
“Walker?” she said when I didn’t offer a reply.
Walker.
Not Nate.
I didn’t like it.
“On fight day, our fighters should be using that time to eat and relax,” I stated. “Hudson?”
“I gave Olivia a ride.” He looked from Olivia to me as he stood and then made his way towards me.
“I wasn’t aware the two of you knew each other well enough to give rides.” If I had known that, perhaps Olivia wouldn’t have been my first choice when it came to picking a social media specialist and a mentor for Blue. I couldn’t have my fighters fraternising with my staff or my team fraternising with my fighters. Shit, the hypocrisy. But it was my own irresponsible decision to hire Olivia before we had the opportunity to go through the whole employee handbook.
“We go way back,” Hudson mumbled.
Good to know, but I wished I’d known sooner.
“You’re blocking the door,” he said when he reached me, his features not giving any more away. He was good at that, the whole closed off thing he did with his face. It’s what worked so well for him in the cage. His moves were unpredictable–unlike Wez.
Fuck that kid.
Fuck. That. Kid.
“You good?” I asked him.
He nodded. “I’m good.”
With that, I gripped his shoulder in silent support and stepped out of his way, allowing him to walk through the door without more of my scrutiny. He didn’t need me winding him up before the biggest fight of his career. He knew what he was in for. And I had to trust he knew what he was doing. “See you later.”
“Olivia,” I tipped my chin in her direction, wondering if I could get a better read on her than I had Hudson. “And you, are you good? Our social media’s looking spot on. I trust Noah’s been on hand for anything you need, and Blue has been a good student in the little time you’ve had with her?”
Blue shuffled on her feet beside me. She liked it when I gave her praise, I realised. It turned her on. In fact, I bet she was wet just thinking about me calling her a good girl. My cock twitched just thinking about it. So much so that if it hadn’t been such an important day, I’d say fuck what I said in my first text and drag her upstairs into my office.
“Yep,” Olivia said with more enthusiasm than I cared for this early in the morning. “Thank you. Actually, Blue, Duke has been in touch and has passed on all the relevant material we need to prepare for your assessments.”
“Cool.”
I didn’t need to look at Blue to hear the smile in her voice.
“Come on,” Olivia encouraged, opening her MacBook. “I’ll show you what you’re in for.”
Blue stepped past me, brushing her pinky against mine as she moved.
“Okay,” I warned, subtly reminding her what we discussed. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my office.”
Blue sat down beside Olivia and mimed a thank you. I wasn’t confident about what she was thanking me for, but I had a feeling it wasn’t about this morning.
She finally could be who she wanted to be without her father holding her back. And that meant something. Maybe more than anything else I could ever give her. It didn’t take me long to realise that if I could do anything for her while she was here, it would be to help her succeed. Especially when, for the last fifteen years, I’d lived with what I irresponsibly took away.
I entered my office to find Noah sitting behind my desk.
“We have company,” he said, turning to face the couch and bar at the far end of the room. I followed his line of sight, only to find a man in a navy-blue suit striding towards me.
“James?”
“Good morning, Walker.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I think the more important question is, what is my daughter doing here? When were you going to tell me?”
I looked to Noah, then back to James, my finger edging to the collar of my shirt to loosen the restriction around my airway. I knew Sophia was up to something, but she wasn’t smart enough to figure out what was going on with Blue and me when I’d barely figured it out myself.
“Did Sophia call you?”
His brows pinched, but he didn’t say anything, so I refrained from mentioning Sophia again and asked, “When was I going to tell you what?”
“Don’t play stupid with me, son. I received a letter from Duke with confirmation of Blue being enrolled in their Apprenticeship Programme. You can imagine my confusion when I learned that Blue had an apprenticeship to begin with, never mind where that apprenticeship was taking place. So, I’ll ask you again, when were you going to tell me that Blue was no longer studying at Duke, but here, working in a place like this?”
“A place like this?” I repeated, taken aback.
“It’s not the life I want for her; you know that. She’s not programmed to be a part of this world. Not the media and their savagery. She’s too clean, too pure. This industry, this place–you know damn well she’s above it.”
I could have argued that she wasn’t above it. That she was sassy, strong, and less fragile than he knew her to be. But fuck, it wasn’t my place. He was her father, and what did my opinion matter when all of this could fuck up everything I’d worked towards? I couldn’t protect Blue from everything, even if I wanted to.
Even if, up until a few weeks ago, I had never imagined standing in front of him, feeling the way I did about his daughter.
But why the fuck had James travelled across the world to tell me something he could have told me over an email or on the phone?
“I was going to tell you,” I said, slipping my hands into my pockets. Why the fuck did I sound so meek? I wasn’t afraid of James Sterling.
“When?” he interrupted. “Because in the last email you sent me, you failed to mention anything other than how nice a birthday dinner Blue had with you and Sophia on Wednesday.”
Noah noticeably hissed from behind me, and my jaw ticked as I looked at him over my shoulder. He hadn’t known I’d taken Blue to dinner, but he knew that there wasn’t a chance Sophia would have been there, and he knew I’d rushed to leave work early. He’d have questions, and that was a problem because I wasn’t ready to answer them. And I’m not sure if I ever could. It was bound to be temporary, what I and Blue had, wasn’t it? Could it be more? Still, why complicate things by involving other people before we had the chance to figure it out between ourselves?
This was terrible timing.
Staring, I said, “You can leave, Noah. Louis should be arriving soon to prep the bar. Could you double-check everything is in order for tonight?”
I could tell he didn’t want to leave me alone with James, that he would probably defend me no matter knowing my guilt or innocence, but he stood anyway and saluted the both of us with his phone as he exited the room.
“Well?” demanded James. “I want an explanation. I’m failing to understand why you kept this from me. I can understand why she would, but you–after everything. You owe me your loyalty.”
I frowned. “Aren’t we past that?”
“We are,” he agreed. “I’d never use the past against you. It was a freak accident, I’m aware of that. You’re not to blame.”
“If I’m not to blame, why bring it up?”
“Because,” he threatened. “You’re supposed to be taking care of my daughter the way you did that night.”
“I am taking care of her.” Unfortunately, in more ways than he’d be comfortable with.
“So why, for the life of me, did you not consult me on this? Why did you believe it was acceptable to keep this from me? And whatever happened to her studying the degree she set out to study?”
My nostrils flared, and I took one hand from my pocket to palm my jaw before quickly returning it. He was here now, and with no time to prepare, it seemed in this instance, the truth was better than being caught in a lie.
“She had an altercation with one of her tutors.”
“Details, Walker. I need details.”
I took a deep breath, though as I was about to divulge the events that led us to the here and now, Noah stepped back into my office with Blue in tow. All I knew was that he must have fucking run to get her here so quick.
I pinched my nose. He believed he was helping, but he didn’t realise that this might just make things worse.
I wasn’t prepared.
I was a fucking fool. A mindless fool who hadn’t thought any of this through.
This morning, I had my cock buried deep inside his daughter and was ninety-nine percent sure I had fucking feelings for her.
Idiot.
“Dad,” Blue said warily.
“Princess.” He stepped past me and walked towards her, holding his arms wide to greet her with an embrace. “You didn’t answer the phone when I called you on your birthday. Neither did you, Walker.” He side-eyed me.
Noah snickered. “That’s because the silly cunt left his phone in the office.”
How did he know that?
Jesus fuck.
He was implicating himself into shit he needn’t get involved in. Yeah, I’d left my phone in the office, but I wondered what he’d think if he knew the real reason I hadn’t answered James’s call on Wednesday? That I’d come back for my phone, and the actual reason I hadn’t answered was because I’d been too busy coming all over Blue’s perfect tits?
Blue stepped into her father’s arms, and they enclosed her. Staring at me over his shoulder, she looked as nervous as I’d felt. And fuck, did I feel it.
“He knows about Duke,” I said aloud. There was no reason to hide it.
Understanding drew in her eyes, and I watched her face visibly relax. “I’m not sorry I didn’t mention it,” she told him.
I rounded my desk and sat back in my chair as they caught up, and Blue dug me out of that hole. As long as nobody mentioned Sophia, everything would be calm.
But shit, how had I managed to get myself into such a fucking mess? Of course, Noah’s almost knowing stare and his eyes burning into the side of my head didn’t help my frustration. He was still stuck on James’s mention of Blue’s birthday dinner, and though I was stuck on him knowing how he knew I’d left my phone in my office, I didn’t need another revelation to come to light. Especially one which told James just how well I’d been taking care of his daughter. And how Sophia and Blue hadn’t ever once met–unless I considered them catching one another’s attention just yesterday as an introduction. Obviously, it was not.
Now that James was here, on my fucking territory, he threatened my whole charade. And all I could think was how the fuck could I tell the truth without losing The Lagoon, or Blue, in the process? Chances were, I wouldn’t lose one without losing the other. And what a tragic story that would be if everything I worked for was for nothing.
BLUE
MY DAD and I left Walker’s office after I explained what had happened with Mr Smith. Except I purposely left out the part where Walker attempted to bribe him and accidentally got me suspended. I also left out the part where I tried to blackmail Walker in his office and softened the truth by telling him the apprenticeship was entirely my idea.
“I’m not happy about this,” he said as we walked to the lobby.
“I didn’t expect you to be. But, dad, I’m eighteen, and whether you like it or not, this is what I’m doing with my life.”
“You’ve been in London almost two weeks, and already I see a change in you.” He took me by my elbow and brought us to a halt outside the lobby door. “I’m not comfortable with it. And I don’t appreciate how you and Walker lied to me.”
I swallowed. “No one lied to you.” I used Walker’s words. “We just withheld the truth.”
The way my father was acting was the exact reason I wanted to leave Miami. It may have only been two weeks, but it was the most freedom I’d ever had now that his noose wasn’t around my neck. I was no longer living in retrograde but thriving and excited for my future.
My smile didn’t reach my eyes. “I understand you’re upset with me. But what I did wasn’t worse than what you did when you asked Walker to baby me. I understand you didn’t want this for me, but perhaps try to see the bigger picture?” I pushed open the lobby door with my shoulder and looked between Olivia and my father. “I want this, dad. It feels right. And if I show you what I’m doing–if I show you what I can achieve–maybe you’ll allow yourself to feel differently.”
Olivia introduced herself to my father, and I was grateful he kept his line of sight on her face and didn’t say anything that would be considered inappropriate, given his reputation.
The three of us moved to a table in the corner of the room, a quiet space away from the disruption of anyone who could have entered. And then Olivia opened her MacBook and, like she had with me, began a rundown on my apprenticeship with my father. She explained all the framework that Duke had emailed over that morning, and although my father seemed to agree and hang on to her every word, I wasn’t entirely convinced he was supportive. Still, when he’d received all the information, and I showed him what we’d accomplished with The Lagoon’s social media presence in the short time we’d spent on it, he perked up.
“Looks good.” He nodded. “I’m impressed.”
“Are you?” I asked, unsure if he was just saying it because we were in the presence of Olivia or if he meant it.
He looked at me again and then stood, checking the time on his Rolex. “I wouldn’t say it unless it were true.” Then he brought his attention back to me. “I have a business meeting I can’t be late for. It was nice to meet you, Olivia.”
“You too, Mr Sterling.” Olivia smiled.
And while I refrained from rolling my eyes, he kissed me on the head.
“I’ll see you tonight at the event.” He raised a brow. “Though I rather I didn’t. If you’re going to work here, I’d prefer it to be between the hours of nine and five. This environment isn’t for the vulnerable.”
In my peripheral, I noticed Olivia looking up at us from her phone screen like she couldn’t believe what he’d said. I could understand why. She didn’t know my father. And she didn’t understand the control he was giving up at that moment, not to say something worse or tell me I wasn’t attending the event at all. Still, to her, it was as if everything we’d just been through with him went in one ear and out the other. But to me, it was progress. And although it wasn’t much, slow progress was better than no progress, especially when I’d spent my teenage years struggling to make any.
OTHER THAN THE glitch with my father, Olivia was satisfied with the headway we made today. As well as making a start on my first module, which consisted of advertising and promotion, we also created a Twitter profile for The Lagoon and drew in some last-minute attention around tonight’s event.
Which was why, when four o’clock came around, Walker was happy to let Finley take me back to the penthouse.
As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, I slipped off my Louboutins, grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen fridge, and then made my way to Walker’s bedroom.
I spotted his hoodie on the bed, and because I was feeling a little cold, I pulled it over my head before climbing into his bed without him–tired and in need of a power nap before I spent the rest of my evening back at the club, in the midst of what I predicted to be chaos.
I only hoped that my father was wrong. That when it came to this life, I wasn’t as vulnerable as he thought.
It didn’t take long for my body to become lax, but as my eyelids closed and my body moulded further into the mattress, I fell into a dream-like state. And it didn’t matter how hard I tried to pull myself from it or how I subconsciously tried to force open my eyes, the dream took me hostage, and the memories I’d suppressed for so long waved a big white flag behind my eyes.
