‘Damn it, she’s so captivating,’ I think to myself as I watch Clara move confidently around the office. I can’t help but admire how she effortlessly balances her coffee, a stack of papers, and her dedication to impress me. I need to focus on my work, but my thoughts are consumed by our secret relationship.
‘Alex, do you have a minute?’ Clara asks, bringing me back to reality.
‘Of course, come in,’ I reply, trying to maintain a professional tone, while internally fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her.
‘Thanks. I just wanted to go over these notes from yesterday’s meeting and make sure I got everything right.’
‘Sure thing,’ I say, as I glance through the papers. My eyes keep darting between the words on the page and her beautiful face. The tension between maintaining our secret and managing my feelings for her is palpable in the air.
‘Everything looks good here, Clara. Just make sure you send it out to everyone on the team,’ I instruct, hoping my voice doesn’t betray any hint of my true emotions.
‘Will do. Thanks, Alex,’ she smiles at me, her eyes lingering just a bit longer than necessary. I can’t tell if she’s doing it on purpose, but I can feel my heart pounding in my chest regardless.
I want to stop her, to ask her to stay late with me again. Truthfully, I want to take her on a real date, but I know how bad of an idea that is.
The office door clicks shut and I immediately wipe the sweat from my brow. I can’t afford to slip up – not even for a second. My eyes scan the room, making sure no one is watching me too closely. The last thing I need is someone discovering my secret relationship with Clara.
‘Alex, do you have a minute?’ Julie peeks her head into my office. I nod, trying to appear casual as she enters.
‘Is everything okay? You seem a little… on edge,’ she says, eyeing me with concern.
‘Fine, just tired,’ I reply quickly, hoping she won’t press further. But my mind wanders back to Clara, recalling how she looked at me earlier today: that mischievous smile and lingering gaze.
‘Alright, well, here are the reports you asked for,’ Julie hands me a stack of papers, still watching me carefully. I force a smile and thank her, but my thoughts are consumed by Clara.
Later, as I walk down the hall, I catch a glimpse of Clara in the break room, laughing with some colleagues. A pang of jealousy shoots through me, and I feel the urge to interrupt, to claim her attention. But I know I can’t – not without risking our secret. So I keep walking, clenching my fists and biting my lip to keep my emotions in check.
‘Alex!’ Clara calls out from behind me, and I freeze. I turn around slowly, forcing a smile.
‘Hey, Clara. What’s up?’ I ask, trying to sound nonchalant, but my heart races in anticipation.
‘Can you help me with these files? I’m having trouble figuring out what they’re for,’ she says, holding up a folder.
‘Of course,’ I reply, leading her to an empty conference room. As soon as the door closes, I find myself alone with her, and my feelings for Clara threaten to bubble over. The tension in the room is palpable.
‘Okay, so these files are—’ I begin, but she cuts me off with a sly smile.
‘Alex, relax,’ she whispers, stepping closer. ‘I just wanted a moment alone with you.’
‘Clara, we can’t,’ I hiss, glancing nervously at the door. ‘Someone could walk in any second.’
‘I know,’ she murmurs, her eyes filled with longing. ‘But it’s becoming harder and harder to pretend we’re not together when all I want to do is be close to you.’
‘Trust me, I feel the same way,’ I whisper back, my voice cracking with emotion. ‘But we have to be careful. We can’t risk everything we’ve worked for.’
She nods, understanding the gravity of our situation. ‘You’re right,’ she agrees, taking a step back. ‘Let’s focus on work. For now.’
‘Thank you,’ I say, relieved that she understands. But as we dive into the files, I can’t help but steal glances at her, my heart aching with the knowledge that she’s so close yet so far away. And I know that no matter how hard I try to maintain our secret, my feelings for Clara will never be easy to ignore.
My heart races as I watch Clara across the room, laughing with a group of colleagues. Her eyes sparkle with amusement, and for a moment, I can’t help but get lost in her happiness. The sound of her laughter draws me in, and I wish more than anything that I could be part of the conversation.
‘Hey, Alex,’ Julie says, snapping me out of my reverie. ‘You’ve been staring at Cara a lot today. Is everything alright?’
‘Uh, yeah, just making sure she’s adjusting well to the team,’ I lie smoothly, trying to brush off her question. But inside, I’m panicking. I’ve become too careless, letting my guard down around Clara.
‘Really?’ Julie raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying my explanation. ‘Because it almost looks like…’
‘Julie, I really don’t know what you’re implying, but I assure you, it’s strictly professional,’ I say sharply, hiding my inner turmoil.
‘If you say so.’ She shrugs, unconvinced.
The words echo in my mind, gnawing at me. It’s only a matter of time before someone else notices, and I can’t afford to let our secret slip. My jaw clenches as I force myself to look away from Clara, focusing instead on the pile of paperwork on my desk.
‘Alex, have you seen the latest report from the marketing department?’ Clara appears at my side, her voice gentle and concerned.
‘Uh, no, not yet,’ I stammer, cursing myself for being caught off-guard. ‘I’ll check it out later.’
‘Would you like me to email it to you?’ she offers, completely oblivious to the way my heart hammers in my chest.
‘Sure, thanks,’ I reply curtly, desperate to end this conversation before anyone catches on. I can feel Julie watching us, her gaze sharp and calculating.
‘Okay, I’ll send it right over,’ Clara says, sensing my tension but misinterpreting it as stress from work. With a sympathetic smile, she turns to leave.
‘Wait!’ I call out without thinking, causing her to pause in her tracks. My heart leaps into my throat as I realize what I’ve just done. ‘I mean…uh, could you also forward the report to Julie? She might have some input.’
‘Sure thing, Alex,’ Clara nods, giving me a puzzled look before walking away.
‘Nice save,’ Julie smirks, leaning against my office door frame. ‘But seriously, if there’s something going on between you two, I won’t judge. We all need a little happiness in our lives.’
‘Nothing’s going on,’ I insist through gritted teeth. Her words hit too close to home, and I can’t let her suspicions grow any further.
‘Alright, alright,’ she concedes, holding up her hands defensively. ‘Just remember, I’m here if you ever need to talk.’
‘Thanks,’ I mutter, knowing full well that I’ll never be able to confide in her about this.
As Julie leaves my office, I sink into my chair, my body trembling with adrenaline. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep our relationship hidden. And with people like Julie watching our every move, I know we’re playing a dangerous game – one that could cost us everything.
I stare at the door, my jaw clenched so tight it feels like it might crack. I can’t keep up this fucking charade much longer. My hands grip the edge of the desk until my knuckles turn white. I force myself to take a deep breath and try to regain some semblance of composure.
I don’t have long before I have to go to a meeting, one where Clara is presenting her ideas. I take my seat at the opposite end of the table, nodding to her.
I listen intently as she goes over everything, my eyes tracking along her face the entire time. She is so beautiful and all I can think about is the night I took her in my office and how badly I want to do that again…
‘Alexander,’ Clara’s voice cuts through my thoughts, snapping me back to reality. ‘Did you have any questions?’
‘Uh, no,’ I say, trying to gather my thoughts. ‘It all looked good to me.’
‘Good,’ she says with a bright smile, oblivious to the turmoil raging inside me.
As others jump in to discuss the presentation, I can’t help but watch her face, her soft eyes, and the way her lips curve when she smiles. It’s all too much, and I find myself eager to get back to my office.
After the meeting wraps, I’m up and out of my chair as fast as possible. I start toward the door when I feel a hand on my arm.
‘Is everything okay?’ Clara asks, concern evident in her voice.
‘Everything’s fine,’ I lie through gritted teeth. ‘Just a lot on my mind.’
‘Okay,’ she replies hesitantly.
As I return to my office, I realize that something has to give. This constant vigilance, the fear of being discovered, the gnawing guilt – it’s eating away at me, leaving me raw and exposed.
I can’t keep doing this forever.
