NOVA
Adam’s breath fans across my skin. His unruly hair tickles the underside of my jaw and brings the fragrance of his body wash.
I stroke the back of his neck, my arm encircling his shoulder as he rests on my chest. My body is sinking even deeper into the mattress thanks to half of Adam’s weight pressing me down.
It’s hot. I’m still wearing my long-sleeved sweater and jeans, and the fabric is sticking to my skin.
Even if I wanted to move, I’m trapped. Adam’s hands are clasped around my waist like he’s grasping for comfort.
I inhale a deep breath and release it through my mouth. Holding him like this sends my mind into overdrive.
I missed this.
His scent.
His presence.
We were only together romantically for a short time, but we were working together, supporting each other, looking out for each other for seven years.
Leaving him behind took more out of me than I’d been prepared to give up. I couldn’t get myself to forget him, despite trying my very hardest to look to the future rather than the past.
All that effort and I still failed.
As someone who prides herself on excellence, effort and perfection, it’s shameful. I’m more than capable of being alone. Why should one man consume me like this? Why should I give up control when I fought so hard to be independent?
I shake my head and pick at my sweater. It was a really bad idea to wear long-sleeves and then slip under the covers with Adam. The heat is almost unbearable. I’m going to sweat out of every pore.
Trying to find a little relief from my homemade sauna, I wiggle away from Adam so I can push the blanket off. But Adam, thinking I’m trying to leave, muscles an arm around my waist and drags me closer in his sleep.
I roll over the mattress and grunt a little as he flattens me against his body, almost crushing me.
“Adam,” I whisper, trying to pry his hands off.
He’s a steel band.
I nuzzle his ear, whispering softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Just relax.”
There’s a beat where neither of us move. Finally, Adam’s arms loosen a bit. I’m able to move around a little more and I succeed in kicking the blanket away.
Ah. Much better.
With Adam spooning me from behind, I relax and let my breath match the rhythm of his.
After a while, I hear him getting distressed in his sleep. I twist my neck and note the worried crease in the middle of his forehead. Alarmed, I touch his arm, assuring him that I won’t disappear yet, that I’m still here. And I feel him relax again.
Rain falls overhead, pattering against the roof.
I close my eyes.
Breathe in his scent.
Nuzzle closer to him.
Peace.
I’ve been feeling the absence of it for so long, but with Adam, it’s like I’m drowning in it.
How frightening to learn that I’m not as cold and unfeeling as I want to be. But how amazing is it to have someone I love?
Having someone to lean on, someone who can lean on me in return, is worth it. Even if it means losing control.
I take a moment to settle my nerves. It’s ironic that I’d stumble on such an important revelation in a season like this.
A season of death and darkness.
A season of loss.
And grief.
And pain.
This isn’t the right time to be with Adam. Not while he needs the space and time to focus on Rowan while he grieves.
A sad smile tilts my lips when Adam buries his nose in my neck. I graze my fingertips over his knuckles, my heart aching in the worst way. I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s feeling right now.
When I met him at the door, he looked like a zombie come alive. His skin had a grey palor and his eyes were so hopeless. For a second, I wondered if he was the one who should have been wheeled to the morgue today.
When he collapsed on me, I panicked. I’d never seen Adam, someone with such strength and positivity, so downtrodden.
“You’re going to be okay, Adam,” I breathe against his skin. “You’ve done so much for me. I’m going to return the favor if it kills me.”
As if he heard my words, he tightens his grip on my waist. It’s amazing that, even unconscious, Adam is still so in-tuned to me.
I slide my fingers up to his elbow. He’s so strong. I can feel the cords of muscles bulging, ready to take on the world for the people he loves. He never takes a break from showing up. He doesn’t believe he’s entitled to.
Turning, I place a soft kiss on his forehead. It’s a confession that doesn’t need words. A promise that he probably understands even though he’s fast asleep and can’t hear me.
I’ll be there for you.
I hold Adam until the shadows in his room creep away. Eventually, light blasts through the windows, falling over us while we lie tangled together.
My phone buzzing wakes me up. Sleep clears away from my eyes. I don’t remember dozing off. In fact, the last thing I remember is telling myself not to fall asleep in case Adam wakes up and sees me clutching him like this.
If he asked why I stayed, why I went to bed with him, why I caressed him through the night, I won’t have a good answer. At least not one I’m comfortable with sharing.
Adam’s head is heavy on my shoulder. I ease away like a worm, wiggling and squirming until his head hits the pillow. The moment I’m free, I feel a dull ache in my arm. I rotate my shoulders. My body was not made to be the pillow of a man as tall and muscular as Adam Harrison.
Rolling to a sitting position, I check to make sure I haven’t disturbed him. He’s sleeping soundly, his mouth slightly open and his body relaxed.
It feels like I’m tearing velcro apart when I turn away. No, even worse than that. I’m something held together by glue that leaves behind bits and pieces when it’s separated.
That’s how I feel.
Like I’ve left bits and pieces of me in the room with Adam.
I walk down the hallway, dragging my heart—that’s kicking and screaming to stay—behind me. I tiptoe to Rowan’s room. The door is slightly ajar and I push it gently.
Rowan is on his bed. Rather than his usual position of arms and legs sprawled like a star fish, he’s curled up in a fetal position. His pale fingers are entwined in the edge of his pillow.
I step into the room and caress Rowan’s head, much as I did to his father. To have suffered a loss like that at such a young age must be unbearable.
His eyes look puffy. How much did he cry?
My heart falters and I promise myself that I’ll be there for this little family in whatever capacity I can, even if the best position to be in is away from them.
As the Harrison boys sleep soundly, I drive to my apartment. The huge, minimalist space looks empty and cavernous in comparison to Adam’s cozy manor. Each room is silent. Cold. My steps echo like I’m walking through a mausoleum.
When I sit on my bed, it feels too big. Too wide.
Too Adam-less.
I check my phone. Should I have made breakfast before I left? Will Rowan even want to eat? And what will they do about the funeral?
Stay out of it, Nova.
Itching to do something that will help Adam, even slightly, I get dressed and head to Vision Tech. I’ve removed my hands from the operation, but I’ve still been watching everything closely. So far, I have no complaints. The team leaders have stepped up and are managing things well.
I sit in a meeting and observe the discussion. When it’s over, I applaud them.
“Not bad.”
Roberts grins at me. “It’s good to have you back, Nova.”
“I’m not back.” I unfold myself from the chair. “I’m just checking in.”
“When are we going to meet this mysterious owner?” The PR director asks, looking eagerly at me. “Is he related to Harrison?”
“It’s not up to me to decide. And that’s classified.”
I check the time.
Adam and Rowan have been on my mind for hours. I’ll go crazy if I don’t get an update on them.
I dial a number and put the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” A soft, feminine voice sounds.
“Dejonae,” I stalk out of the conference room, “do you have a minute? I’d like to talk.”
I toss the tiny umbrella from my liqueur-less mimosa and sip straight from the glass. Dejonae watches me with a bemused grin.
Today, the college graduate is wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Her curls are honey-blonde at the ends and held back by a beautiful clip that’s shaped like Japanese cherry blossoms. It looks expensive. I bet it’s a gift from Sazuki.
“Thanks for meeting me,” I say.
“You’re welcome.” Her eyes sparkle. I used to chalk it up to her youth, but now I think that’s pure Dejonae. She brims with vitality and passion. Everything, from the vivacious way she speaks to her enthusiasm for life draws you in. It’s no wonder someone as cold and aloof as Sazuki would be intrigued by her.
“I’m a little surprised that you called me first,” Dejonae adds. She hasn’t touched her drink yet.
“I wanted to thank you. It’s because of you that I heard of Alexa passing so soon.”
The sparkle leaves her eyes for a second. “Sazuki took the call. He said Adam was surprisingly calm about it.”
“He does that.” I fold the napkin in front of me into a perfect square. “He can tackle any obstacle in front of him. He doesn’t get ruffled. Not in the moment. But when he crashes…”
“Hm.” Her lips curl up. “So… Adam called Sazuki today.”
My eyes stray to my drink. I pick it up with trembling hands and take a sip. “What did he say?”
“That he had a dream about you last night.”
I choke on my drink.
“According to Adam, you showed up at his door unexpectedly and you held him all night.”
“We didn’t do anything more,” I blurt. “I just comforted him while he slept. That’s it.”
“Why is that it?” Dejonae frowns.
I gawk at her.
She laughs softly. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that there’s nothing in your way if you wanted to go there.”
“Of course there is. He has a wife.”
Dejonae releases a harsh breath. “Nova, I know you’re not that clueless. You’re aware that Adam wouldn’t have married Alexa because he loved her. I may not know the details, but I’m sure there’s more to the story.”
“You’re right. There is, but…”
“But what?” Dejonae prods.
“I can’t stop thinking about Rowan,” I admit, remembering his puffy eyes. “He’s breaking down. He needs all his dad’s attention and coddling right now. He doesn’t need to see Adam jumping from marriage to his mom and then being all over me before Alexa’s body even hits the ground.”
Her nose scrunches. “Why are you blaming Rowan? He’s a big boy. Even more than that, he’s a smart boy. And he’s very observant. Isn’t he the one who found out that Bailey has a crush on Beth?”
“That’s yet to be proven.”
“It’s obvious now that he’s pointed it out.”
I press the perfectly folded napkin against my mouth.
“Are you still confused about your feelings?” Dejonae demands. “Or are you that scared of not being in control of everything?”
I stay silent.
“You went to him last night because you love him, right? Isn’t that why you stayed?”
“I…” Squaring my shoulders, I lay my cards on the table. “I stayed because he needed me. Being there when he needs me is a habit.”
“Oh, come on, Nova. That’s bull. If you don’t even know your own feelings, just admit that.”
“I do know my own feelings,” I answer defensively. “I always have. I was never confused about my devotion to Adam.”
“Then why did you break up with him?”
I drain the rest of my mimosa rather than answer.
“Fine. I guess that’s a conversation you should have with Adam instead of me.” She leans forward. “Why did you want to meet today?”
“Adam is the closest to you and Sazuki.”
She nods.
“Do you know if he needs help with anything? Planning the funeral? Cleaning the house? Anything in the company?”
“I don’t think so. He mentioned that he was hiring a funeral director to plan everything. Right now, he’s more worried about how Rowan is taking all this.”
“Rowan just lost his mom.” I think about the moment I had to say goodbye to my own mom. “There are no words to describe that kind of pain.”
“I don’t even want to think of losing my mom, so I can kind of understand.” Dejonae nods.
I check my watch. Since my question has been answered, I don’t need to linger. “I’ll pay for the bill.”
“Let me.”
I freeze.
“You saved Adam last night. It’s the least I can do.”
“Saved him? You’re exaggerating.”
“Adam said so himself.” Dejonae pats my hand. “Alexa’s death shook him to the core and that ‘dream’ of you? That grounded him again.” She sighs. “I have to admit, I feel like Rowan’s my nephew. He’s been spending so much time with Niko at art camp lately. By being there for Adam, you’re being there for Rowan. It’s not an exaggeration to say you saved them both.”
I can’t accept her praise. If I did such a good deed, then why do I feel so miserable? Why does it not feel like enough?
“Thanks for the drinks. If you need anything, call me. And if Adam needs anything—”
“Call you?” She leaks a small smirk.
“Please.”
She nods. “I’m rooting for you and Adam to work this out.”
Well, that makes two of us.
The sun is shining brightly as they lower Alexa’s casket in the ground. It’s the end of a life. Shouldn’t it be raining? Shouldn’t the skies be weeping? Or am I getting too sentimental?
Adam’s eyes sweep over the crowd and land on me. I feel the pull between us like an electric shock.
Even from this distance, I can tell how weary he is. His hair is carefully brushed, unlike its usual messy style. His black suit hugs his shoulders and tapers down his long legs. His solemn nod lets me know that he’s seen me.
Rowan snakes his fingers around his dad’s arm. Adam glances away and it’s only then that I can breathe.
I’ve tried to keep out of sight during the service and the burial. It wasn’t hard to blend in. The service was packed. Everyone from the farmhouse came, along with all of the kids. Some Vision Tech employees also showed up. I was most surprised when I saw Henry walking into the church.
I stayed in the very last row. The last thing I wanted was for Adam to meet my eyes. I knew that if he did, I’d run to him. In front of all these people. In front of Rowan. In front of Alexa’s lifeless body.
So I kept my distance.
But not even time and space could shield me from him.
It’s like his eyes are always watching for me and now I’ve been caught.
I inhale deeply and wait for the crowd to clear before I approach Adam.
Rowan sees me before Adam does. He brightens and waves. “Nova.”
“Hi, sweetie.” I wrap my arms around him and drop a kiss to the top of his head.
Adam walks up to me next. His eyes devour my body, starting at my black heels, going up to my black dress and finally my braids held back by a thick bandana. The assessment feels mildly inappropriate for a funeral. Much less, a funeral for his late wife.
“My condolences, Adam,” I say.
“Thanks.”
I glance down and note that he’s not wearing his ring.
Removing my attention from Adam, I touch Rowan’s shoulder. “Did you get to scratch everything off your mom’s list?”
He nods.
“Even India?”
“Adam took us to a Bollywood theatre. Mom said it looked just like India.” His eyes glisten over with tears, but he doesn’t let them loose. “We were watching the movie when she… when, um…”
“I understand.”
Rowan blinks rapidly.
I give him a hug because he’s too precious and I can see that he’s struggling. He hugs me back and wiggles away. “Are you coming over later?”
“Uh…” My eyes shoot to Adam.
He arches an eyebrow at me.
“Please.” Rowan pouts. “I want to show you my worktable in the lab.”
“Your worktable?” Adam asks, hooking a hand around Rowan’s neck.
The little boy laughs. “Okay. Our table.”
“It might as well be yours the way you’re taking over.” Adam looks up to explain. “There are nothing but sketchbooks and pencil holders next to my equipment.”
I smile at the easy camaraderie between father and son. It’s incredible to think that just a few weeks ago, Rowan was a stranger on Adam’s doorstep and an inconvenience in his life. Now, the two share a clear bond.
It’s what Alexa probably hoped for.
Out of all the wishes Rowan put on that list, I’m sure this was Alexa’s biggest one. It must have done her heart good for this wish to come true.
“Rowan.” Beth primly picks her way through the cemetery and stops in front of us. “I asked my mom if I could come over later. Niko and Micheal want to come too.”
“Come over to my house?” Rowan’s eyes widen.
Beth nods smartly. “I heard my mom say that people shouldn’t be alone after a funeral.”
“Oh.”
“So can we come over?”
“I have to ask my d—”
I realize what he was about to say and my heart expands like a balloon going up to space.
Cheeks staining red, Rowan glances away. “I mean…”
“I don’t have a problem,” Adam says, making it easier on his son. “Your friends can come over anytime. As long as they have their parents’ permission.”
“Yes.” Rowan pumps his fist.
Beth gives Adam a pretty smile. Her enchanting hazel eyes sparkle with approval. There are hints of her mom’s dainty beauty in her face, but it goes deeper than that. She carries herself like a little princess—intelligent, composed and straight-laced. It’s no wonder Bailey’s got a crush on her.
“Thanks, Mr. Harrison.”
“No problem, Beth.”
“Can I…” Rowan gestures to where the other kids are gathered amongst the farmhouse ladies.
Adam nods. “Don’t go too far.”
When Rowan runs off, it’s just me and Adam left. I dig my fingers into my purse strap and shuffle nervously to keep from getting awkward.
Adam doesn’t say anything.
Should I say something first?
I point my gaze toward his shoulders. Were they always so broad? Is it the jacket?
Don’t think about that. You’re at his wife’s funeral. Whether it was a real marriage or not, you should still have respect.
Adam runs his fingers through his hair and it breaks the mousse or gel or whatever he’d used to keep it away from his face. Immediately, chocolate brown locks unfurl in all their unruly glory. One of them falls against his forehead.
Stop looking, Nova.
His eyes are deep and penetrating. I get lost in them before I’ve given myself permission to do so.
Ugh. Since when did I lose my cool around Adam? I’ve spent seven years containing myself, drawing lines and keeping a healthy, professional distance.
Now is the absolute worst time to falter in my self-restraint.
Adam shifts toward me, the muscles under his shirt bunching and rippling like it knows I’m watching and wants to put on a show.
Mentally, I throw my hands up.
Outwardly, I cringe.
That’s it. I’m going home and I’m taking a long, cold shower. Then I’m going to light a few candles at church because lusting after a man at his wife’s funeral is the definition of being a heathen.
But if I need a candle, then Adam needs three.
Because he’s looking at me like a starving man looking at food.
“I should go.” I swallow hard. “But if you need anything—”
“Was it you?”
I turn around. “What are you talking about?”
He takes a step toward me and the hair on the back of my neck stands to attention.
“It felt so real,” he reasons.
Adam moves in close and my pulse beats double time.
“The way you touched me. The way you felt in my arms. But when I woke up, you were gone.”
My chest rises and falls with each desperate breath.
What should I say? Should I admit it?
Sweat breaks out on my forehead.
My stomach flutters. My heart stops.
I open my mouth and then I shut it because I don’t trust what will come out.
The hesitation is unlike me. I’ve never been the type of woman to obsess about my next move. I study my environment, make the best calculation I can and then throw the dice.
Life is simpler that way.
But all of a sudden, life is a giant, complicated web. A tangled mess that I can never unravel. Every step feels like I could potentially dance on top of a landmine.
“No,” I lie. “It wasn’t me.”
Adam stares me down until I grip the hem of my dress with trembling fingers.
Then, slowly, his lips arch up in a knowing smirk. “So it was you.”
Dammit.
My brain is sending out ‘run away’ signals that I think I should heed. Turning, I make a break for it. Unfortunately, my heels were not made for graveyard grass. My stiletto sinks right into the ground and nearly twists my ankle for a second time.
I flail, going down.
“Whoa.” Adam launches forward.
I grab onto his shoulders, digging my nails in. He catches me mid-fall, his body bent toward mine in a sort of tango dip. Our faces are close together. He’s right there, mere inches from my lips, breath skittering over my face, mouth open slightly.
My heart is beating fast from adrenaline and from being in Adam’s arms again. I want him to be mine so badly it hurts.
His chocolate-brown eyes are searing into me. I should push away but, this close to his handsome face, my mind goes blank.
“Are you okay?” Adam rumbles. I feel the vibration of his voice all the way down to my toes.
“Yes.” I pull my leg from the grass’s clutches and try to steady myself on my own. Adam’s arms hover around my waist, poised to catch me if I fall again.
I tip my chin down. “Thanks.”
When I try to step away, Adam catches my hand. His fingers close over mine, warm and strong.
“We need to talk.”
“About what?” I ask hoarsely.
At that moment, Kenya, Sunny, Dawn and Vanya approach Adam to offer their condolences. While the women occupy his attention, I quietly sneak away.
“Should I go in or should I not?” I whisper to the empty caverns of my car. Since the funeral this afternoon, I’ve been wrestling with myself, plucking petals from a figurative daisy.
But instead of the typical ‘he loves me, he loves me not’ debacle.
It’s ‘should I give Adam space, should I not’.
Then, when I got into my car and started driving it was ‘should I go back home, should I not’.
Now, I’m in front of Adam’s fancy manor. The porch lights are on and it gives the house a warm, inviting glow.
I go back and forth like a child on a see-saw, high one minute and plummeting the next.
I face him; I avoid him; face him; avoid him; face him…
A little boy’s shadow appears behind the screen door.
I’ve been busted.
“Nova!” Rowan bursts out the door and rushes down the stairs.
Adam’s behind him. His warm brown eyes meet mine and my body—along with all the imaginary flower petals—burst into flames.
I step out of my car and meet Rowan on the walkway.
He grins up at me. “I was wondering when you’d get here.”
“Sorry I’m late.”
“It’s okay. My friends just went home and I had nothing to do.” Rowan tugs me around the yard. “Let me show you the lab.”
I step past Adam and feel the electric charge in the air between us. Thankfully, he doesn’t do anything except follow us from a distance.
“Wow,” I say when Rowan shows me his half of the work table. “It’s nice.”
I mean that sincerely. I’ve always loved stationary and I adore how Rowan’s put it to use, but it’s the cartoon sketches all over the desk that takes my breath away.
Rowan walks me through his drawings and I listen intently, almost forgetting Adam’s in the room.
Until he clears his throat and places both hands on his son’s shoulders. “Alright, bud. Give her some breathing room.” Adam juts his chin at the door. “Go inside for a minute. I have something to discuss with Nova.”
Rowan nods obediently. “Can I have some more fry jacks?”
“Not too much. You get stomach-aches when you eat too late at night.”
“I’ll be careful.”
Adam sends him off and then turns to me.
I’m sweating and my eyes are darting around as I look for an excuse to not be alone with him. “Do you trust him not to overeat? We should probably supervise—”
“Nova.” Adam stops me with his voice alone.
I feel the flutters in my belly. Adam’s tone is serious and I know that there will be no getting around this.
“Adam, before you say anything you regret,” I lift a hand, “I apologize for what I did that morning.”
He tilts his head, a confused look on his face.
Heat creeps over my chest and neck, but I keep my voice steady and my head held high. “You were in a weird headspace and I… I took advantage of that. I’m sorry.”
Adam laughs humorlessly.
I whip my head up, shocked.
“I can’t do this, Nova.” His eyes darken like infinite galaxies, sucking me into a world beyond the one I’ve always known.
“Can’t… do what?”
“I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t live without you.”
I have no idea what’s happening right now, but I’m electrified. It’s like someone plugged me right up to a live wire and turned the switch on.
More Adam.
No Adam.
Rowan needs him. If he comes back to me, will his son—the little boy who captured my heart—feel abandoned and alone while his dad and another woman skip off into the sunset?
“Don’t.” He points at me. “I know that face. You’re rationalizing, but I need you to hear me. Really hear me, Nova, because this is important.” He gestures to his chest. “Every day without you is a day I’m destroyed inside. I told myself I’d give you space, but I can’t hold back anymore.”
“Can’t you try?” I hiss, overwhelmed and spinning out. My emotions are all over the place. “You and Rowan need more time to mourn, to grieve. Besides, you were married. Whatever the reasons, that’s—”
“I never married Rowan’s mom,” Adam says firmly.
I freeze.
The world tilts on its axis.
Then I shake my head. “Don’t be ridiculous. I saw the pictures. Rowan sent them to me. I saw you in your tux. And she was in her wedding dress. I…”
“It was a fake wedding.”
“WHAT?”
“I made an agreement with Alexa before she died. I told her that I’m in love with someone else and if I get married, I’m only going to marry once.”
My eyes widen. My mind crashes. My entire body jolts like I’ve been hit with a bolt of lightning.
“You know me, Nova.” Adam cradles my cheeks. “I solve problems for a living. But I won’t let a crisis force me to make an unreal commitment.”
“But the hospital wouldn’t let her leave if you didn’t, if you weren’t…”
His voice turns quiet. “You knew about the hospital’s policy?”
“They told me a few days before. That’s why I…” I lick my lips. “I mean, the only way for you to become a family member was to marry her.”
“That’s not true.”
I can’t even draw a whole breath. “What do you mean?”
“I called the lawyers. Had them apply for emergency guardianship. That’s how we got her out of the hospital.”
The floor shifts under my feet. I feel like I’m getting slammed with a canon. Why didn’t I think of that? I was so focused on helping Adam that I missed a solution that would have kept us together.
“But,” my eyebrows knit, “you still had a wedding.”
He nods. “Alexa was excited to get out of the hospital and go traveling, but when we told Rowan, he insisted that we had to do something on the list before then.”
“The wedding,” I breathe.
“Even if it wasn’t real, he wanted to see his mom walking down the aisle like she always dreamed of. Alexa and I agreed to the ceremony for Rowan’s sake. We all knew it was just pretend, but it made Rowan really happy to scratch that off the checklist.”
“I don’t know what to say.” My heart trembles at his confession and the pure whiplash of guilt mixed with relief. Tears fill my eyes. “You’re still mine?”
“Always.” Adam pulls my face to his. “There’s no one else in this world for me, Nova. Until the day I die, it will only be you.”
My heart is roaring with too many emotions to sort out. It’s like being battered by wave after wave in the middle of a storm.
Adam catches a tear with the pad of his thumb. “Darlin’, don’t cry.”
Unfortunately, my tear ducts have sprung a leak. There is no stopping the emotions from pouring out.
Adam’s lips settle on me as if he’s desperate to offer more comfort than mere words would allow.
I hold his wrist, rubbing my thumb against the back of his hand as his excruciatingly gentle caress soothes the strain of our brutal separation.
“You could have told me it wasn’t a real wedding,” I say, my mouth moving against his as I scold him.
“I wanted you to come back to me on your own,” he admits. “How could I chase you when you were feeling smothered?”
“I wasn’t, Adam,” I tell him urgently, my head tipped back to meet his eyes. “I just wanted you to have the space to do what you needed to do.” My heart squeezes painfully. I hate that I hurt him. I hate that I made him think, even for a second, that he’s not the most amazing, kind and patient man in the world. “Adam, you don’t smother me. You uplift me. You make me a better person. You allow me to see the humanity in people. You ground me. You balance me. You push me higher and support me when I fall. You were the one who made me believe I could be the CEO of a company like Vision Tech. You were the one who stood up for me when people tried to shame you for your choice. I have never, for a day in my life, felt anything but grateful to you. The more you gave me, the more I wanted to give back.” I glance away. “It’s why I take it too far when it comes to clearing a path for you.”
He clips my chin gently and turns my face to his. “You’re always trying to fix things, Nova, but you don’t have to anymore. I’ll fix everything. All you have to do is stand there and watch while I conquer the world for you.”
I stare up at Adam, feeling this deranged pull stretching between us. My usual restraint and good sense are lacking. With all my emotions lying on the surface, raw and exposed, upturned by Adam’s startling revelations, I’ve got no defense against my devastating attraction for him.
I am not a woman who gives in to impulse.
But it’s like I’ve never even heard the term self-control when I lunge at him.
Adam catches me around the waist as I descend on his mouth, kissing him so furiously that it snaps his head back.
My fingers scale into his hair, scraping and caressing and pulling. I’m all lust. All animal. All wild beast. It’s my fault for starving myself from him, stumbling around on crumbs and pain and miscommunication.
My own fault.
It’s been too long. So naturally, I should adjust myself slowly. Anyone who’s been starving for a while knows that stuffing their face after not eating is a bad move. And yet I can’t heed that advice. I melt against him, gasp against him, take all the sustenance I need in one big bite.
Adam’s kiss is just as unhinged and dangerous. He moves over me like he’s trying to consume me, greedy and demanding of every flutter of my lips. Every sigh. Every moan. Every whimper.
His lips are pure wickedness against mine, totally domineering, reminding me that even if I try my worst, he can still be even dirtier.
Challenge accepted.
I rise on my tiptoes and open my mouth over his. He accepts my invitation, sweeping his tongue in like the police rushing in on a drug bust. Pressure builds and builds between my legs and I tremble.
Every grunt, every sweep of his tongue, every nip of his teeth makes me even hungrier. Was I supposed to be filled? Was this supposed to satisfy me? It’s only driven me mad with need.
As frantic as the kiss is, it also calms the restlessness that was a constant shadow since I spit those evil words at him in my office.
I’m sorry, Adam.
I’m grateful.
I missed you.
Each stroke of his mouth over mine whispers that I wasn’t the only one longing for the pain to end. I wasn’t the only one missing him, missing us.
My fingers slide down the cords of Adam’s powerful neck as he pulls me closer, his breath fanning against my cheeks. I feel myself being lifted and then roughly shoved on top of his work table, right next to the kinetic batteries that are sprawling open with all the sensitive mechanisms exposed to the heat we’re creating.
Adam slides his hands up my thighs and slows the kiss down, inhaling me as if I’m a limited-edition candy he’s been craving.
Caught between his rock hard body and the desk, I’m still not satisfied. My knees are pressing against Adam’s belt, creating a distance, preventing me from having him where I really want him. Eager for a different position, I spread my thighs and nudge him between them by locking my ankles at his waist.
His eyes pop open and he flashes me a look so feral, I briefly wonder if that was a mistake. But the thought dies a fiery death when Adam thrusts so hard that I rock back on the desk, nearly sweeping his expensive invention to the floor.
I should care.
And there’s some part of me that does.
But I’m too busy burning.
Burning like a radioactive volcano.
Too busy melting from every touch, every caress. I arch under Adam, his body pinned against mine, his desire a lashing, attacking monster. My chest feels like it’s about to crack into pieces, but he shows no mercy.
An absolute criminal.
Stealing my heart.
Stealing my breath.
Stealing my mind.
The kinetic batteries would not have survived the night if not for the ringing of a cell phone.
Adam and I break apart harshly, our breaths shallow and skittering. I realize where I am as if I’m coming out of a dream. My back is against the table, a dull tool is pushing into my shoulder, my hair’s a mess and I can feel my lips swelling as they hit the cool air.
The phone rings again.
We both groan at the same time.
“Ignore it,” I tell him, wrapping my fingers in his shirt.
He nibbles my ear, the evidence of his carnage revealed in dilated brown eyes. I can see him considering it and then he sighs. “I have a son. I can’t ignore phone calls. Weren’t you the one who told me that?”
I grunt. “Did I?”
He laughs at my disappointment.
“I hate when you use my own words against me,” I mutter. Sitting up fully, I concede defeat and focus on getting my heart rate back to normal.
Adam’s phone keeps ringing.
My phone starts ringing at the same time.
Something dark unfurls in my gut. My internal alarm bells are going off.
Adam maintains eye contact as he reaches for his phone.
I check mine.
Lyra?
I press ignore and the screen goes black.
In the cell phone’s reflection, I see a freshly ravaged woman with tousled hair and ruined makeup.
I should wash my face before we go back to Rowan.
“What?” Adam bellows into his cell. Then he turns to me.
My heart is beating fast, but it’s for an entirely different reason this time.
“That was the police,” Adam says, hanging up. “Someone tried to steal from Vision Tech.”
“Who?”
My throat tightens and I have a feeling about what he’s going to say before he opens his mouth.
“It’s Lyra.” He pauses. “And she’s been arrested.”
