Liliana
Whenever I thought I’d gotten over what had happened last September, something would remind me of that day and my stomach would tie itself into a hard knot again. Like today, when Gianna and I headed toward Matteo, Aria and Luca. Father had finally given in and allowed my sister and me to visit New York to celebrate my fifteenth birthday.
“Are you okay?” Gianna asked quietly, startling me out of my rising nervousness. Only being back in New York and seeing Matteo and Luca again was enough to fill my nose with the sweet stench of fresh blood.
“Yeah,” I said quickly. I wasn’t a little girl anymore who needed her big sisters for protection. “I’m fine.”
Aria ran toward us when we’d almost reached them and threw her arms around both of us. “I missed you so much.”
Being reunited with my sisters, I couldn’t help but smile. I would even have walked straight down into that basement if that meant I could see them again.
Aria gave me a once over. “You’re as tall as me now. I still remember when you didn’t want to go anywhere without holding my hand.”
I quickly looked around, but thankfully nobody was around to overhear her. “Don’t say anything like that when Romero is around. Where is he anyway?” I realized a moment too late how idiotic I sounded, and flushed.
Aria laughed. “He’s probably at his apartment.”
I shrugged, but it was too late. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten the blood on Romero’s hands but for some reason I wasn’t as scared of him as I was of Matteo, or even Luca. And I realized just how much when we walked toward them. My heart sped up and I could feel a panic attack rising up. I hadn’t had one in weeks, so I fought it desperately.
“The birthday girl,” Matteo said with a smile. How could that charming guy be the same person whom I’d seen covered in blood in the basement?
“Not yet,” I said. I could feel my panic already abate. In real life Matteo wasn’t as frightening as in my memories. “Unless you have an early present for me.”
“I like the way you think,” Matteo said with a wink. He took my suitcase, then held out his arm. I glanced at Gianna. “Won’t you carry Gianna’s luggage?” I didn’t want Gianna to think I was flirting with her fiancé even though she didn’t seem to like him very much most of the time.
“Luca can take care of it,” Matteo said.
Gianna glared at him before she sent me a smile. “Go on.”
I accepted Matteo’s hand. I wasn’t sure why Gianna despised him so much. And it had started before the basement, so it wasn’t that. But it wasn’t any of my business and Gianna didn’t talk about her emotions with me anyway. That was what Aria was for. In their minds I was always too young to get it. But I knew more than they thought.
***
Fifty minutes later, we arrived at Luca’s and Aria’s apartment building. I checked my reflection in the mirrors of the elevator, making sure my make-up was in place and I didn’t have anything between my teeth. It had been months since I’d last seen Romero and I wanted to make a good impression. But when we walked into Aria’s and Luca’s apartment Romero wasn’t there yet. My eyes darted around and eventually Aria leaned toward me, whispering. “Romero’s not around because Matteo and Luca are here to protect us.”
“I wasn’t looking for him,” I said quickly, but she didn’t buy it. I looked away before she could see my blush.
“Of course,” Aria said with a knowing smile. “He’ll come over later when Matteo and Luca have to leave for business.”
Excitement bubbled up in me, but it was mixed with something queasy and nervous, too. I’d had the occasional nightmare about that night in the basement, not about Romero in particular but I wondered if a live encounter would bring more of the bad stuff up. But that wasn’t even the main reason why I was nervous. So far Romero had always ignored me, well not me, but my flirting. He’d treated me like a kid. Maybe he’d finally show more interest, or any interest at all. After all I was turning fifteen and it wasn’t as if I hadn’t caught many of my father’s soldiers checking me out. Maybe I wasn’t Romero’s type, no matter my age. I didn’t even know if he was dating someone or promised to someone.
During dinner I could tell that Aria and Gianna were exchanging the occasional glance. I wasn’t sure what it meant. Were they talking about me?
The elevator made a bling sound and started its descent to whoever had called it.
“That’s Romero,” Aria said. Luca gave her an odd look but I didn’t react at all, merely nodded as if I didn’t care, but I did, and I was glad for Aria’s warning.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I said, trying to sound casual. Gianna rolled her eyes. I snatched my purse from the floor and rushed toward the guest bathroom. When I closed the door, I heard the elevator doors slide open. A moment later Romero’s voice rang out. It was deep but not rough. I loved the sound of it.
I faced the mirror and quickly refreshed my make up and fluffed up my dark-blond hair. It wasn’t as bright and pretty as Aria’s and not as eye-catching as Gianna’s red hair but it could have been worse. The others would notice that I’d gone into the bathroom to make myself presentable, my sisters at the very least, but I didn’t care. I wanted to look nice for Romero. Trying to look relaxed, I stepped out of the bathroom. Romero had taken a seat at the table and was loading a plate with the remains of our dessert: Tiramisu and Panna Cotta. He was sitting on the chair right beside mine. I glanced at Aria wondering if she had something to do with it. She merely smiled at me, but Gianna didn’t even bother hiding her amusement. I really hoped she wasn’t going to embarrass me in front of everyone. I strolled over to my chair, hoping I looked grown up and relaxed, but apart from a quick smile Romero didn’t pay me any attention. Disappointment settled heavily in my stomach. I sat down beside him and took a sip of my water, more to have something to do than because I was actually thirsty.
If I’d thought Romero’s obvious disinterest in me was the full extend of my embarrassment today, I was sorely mistaken. Once Matteo and Luca had left for some kind of business meeting, it became obvious that Gianna and Aria were looking for a chance to be alone. They could have just asked me to leave but apparently they needed to get rid of Romero as well. Aria leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Can you distract Romero for a while? It’s important.” I didn’t get the chance to refuse or ask any questions.
“Romero, why don’t you play Scrabble with Lily? She looks like she’s bored out of her mind, and Aria and I need a moment for girl talk,” Gianna said pointedly.
My face burned in shame. Gianna usually knew better than to embarrass me like that. She made it sound like Romero needed to babysit me while she and Aria discussed important stuff.
Romero walked over from the kitchen where he’d been checking his mobile and stopped beside me at the dining room table. I could barely look at him. What did he think of me now? I peered up through my lashes. He didn’t look annoyed but that didn’t mean he actually wanted to spend his evening entertaining me. He was a bodyguard, not a babysitter. “Your sister looks like she’d rather spend time with you,” he told Gianna. Then his brown eyes settled on me. “Are you sure you want to play Scrabble with me?” he asked me, and I couldn’t help but smile. Few people ever asked what I wanted, even my sisters occasionally forgot that I was a person with her own opinions and wants.
Aria and Gianna gave me a meaningful look. I needed to convince Romero that I wanted it or I’d ruin things for them. “Yes, I really want to play Scrabble with you. I love that game, please?” I said with a bright smile. I didn’t even remember when I’d played it last. Our family had never played board games.
Romero glanced toward my sisters. There was a hint of suspicion on his face. “You could join us,” he said.
“I’d rather play alone with you,” I said in a flirting tone. Gianna winked at me when Romero wasn’t looking. “My sisters hate Scrabble and so does everyone else I know. You are my only hope.”
A grin tugged at Romero’s lips and he nodded. “All right, but be patient. It’s been a while since I played.”
Playing Scrabble with Romero was actually a whole lot of fun. It was the first time we really spend time alone together. I looked up from the word I’d just put down, debating if I should ask the question that was burning a hole in my stomach. Romero was busy figuring out his next word. His dark brows were drawn together in an adorable way. I wanted to lean across the board and kiss him. “Do you have a girlfriend?” I blurted when I couldn’t hold it in anymore. And then I wanted to die on the spot. Apparently, I didn’t need my sisters to embarrass me. I was doing just fine on my own.
Romero glanced up. There was surprise and amusement on his face. I could feel a blush traveling up my neck. Way to go, Lily. I’d sounded like a moron. “Is that your way of distracting me from the game so you can win?”
I giggled, glad he wasn’t angry with me for asking such a personal question. He returned his attention to the letters in front of him, and my amusement faded when I realized he hadn’t answered my question. Did that mean he had a girlfriend? I couldn’t ask him again without sounding desperate.
I sank deeper into my chair, annoyed. My eyes darted toward the rooftop terrace where my sisters were.
Aria and Gianna probably thought I wasn’t sure they were up to something. They thought I was oblivious to everything going on around me. Just because I was flirting with Romero, however, didn’t mean I didn’t notice the secretive looks they shared. I didn’t ask them because I knew they wouldn’t tell me anyway, and I’d feel even more like the fifth wheel. They weren’t doing it to be mean but it hurt anyway. Aria looked upset over something Gianna had said. I had to resist the urge to go to them and try my luck.
“It’s your turn,” Romero’s voice made me jump.
I flushed and quickly did a scan of the words on the board, but my concentration was frayed.
“Do you want to stop?” Romero asked after a couple of minutes. He sounded like that was something he wanted. He was probably bored out of his mind.
Pushing my disappointment down, I nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to read in my room a bit.” I rose to my feet, hoping my face didn’t give my emotions away, but I needn’t have worried. Romero gave me a distracted smile and picked up his phone to check his messages. I backed away slowly. He didn’t look up again. I needed to figure out a way to get his attention, and not with stupid games.
***
Aria had decorated the entire apartment with balloons for my birthday, as if I was a kindergarten kid. I’d thought we might be allowed to head to one of Luca’s clubs but he and even Aria had refused to take me there. The amount of food on the table made it look as if a huge party was planned, but it was only us and Romero’s two younger sisters. Aria had asked him to bring them. I felt like the looser kid without friends who needed her big sister to find friends for her. Maybe I should have stayed in Chicago, then at least I could have spend the day with my friends.
When Romero arrived with his sisters, I put on my brightest smile. “Happy birthday, Liliana,” he said, handing me an envelope. It was a voucher for a bookstore. “Aria said you love to read.”
“Yes, thank you,” I said, but somehow I’d hoped for a different gift from Romero. Something personal, something that showed I was special.
“These are my sisters.” He pointed at the taller girl with thick brown curls. “This is Tamara, she’s fifiteen like you.” I smiled and so did Tamara but she seemed as embarrassed as I felt. “And this is Keira, she’s twelve. I’m sure you’ll get along fine.” It was obvious that I was supposed to spend time with them because I was still too young to hang with Aria, Luca and the others. It annoyed me, even though Tamara and Keira seemed nice enough, but I hadn’t come to New York for a kid party. With another smile, Romero headed for Luca and Matteo, and I led his sisters toward Aria and Gianna, and the buffet.
I tried my best to enjoy the evening and be nice to Romero’s sisters but I wanted something special for my birthday, something I’d been dreaming about for a very long time. When I noticed Romero heading out onto the roof terrace for a call, I snuck out as well. The others were hopefully busy enough not to miss me for a couple of minutes. Romero talked on the phone and didn’t notice me at first. I followed him quietly and watched as he leaned against the banister. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing muscled forearms.
When his eyes settled on me, his brows drew together in a frown and he straightened. I moved closer and positioned myself beside him. He hung up and put his phone in his pocket. “Shouldn’t you be inside with your guests?” he asked with a smile, but I could tell that it wasn’t as honest as usual.
I moved a bit closer and smiled up at him. “I needed some fresh air.”
Romero’s eyes were alert as he watched me. “We should return.”
“There’s something I want for my birthday,” I said quietly. “Something only you can give me.” I’d repeated the words in my head countless time but aloud they didn’t sound half as flirty as they had in my imagination.
“Lily,” Romero began, his body brimming with tension.
I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. I quickly stood on my tiptoes and tried to kiss him. He gripped my shoulders before my lips reached his and held me away from him like I had an infectious sickness.
“What are you doing?” He let me go and took a few steps back. “You are a child, and I’m a soldier of the Famiglia. I’m not a toy you can play with when you’re bored.”
I hadn’t expected that kind of reaction from him. Surprise and shock, yes, but anger? No. “I only wanted to kiss you. I don’t want to play games. I like you.”
Romero shook his head, then gestured toward the glass door. “Go back inside. Your sisters will start to wonder where you are.”
He sounded like a big brother, and that was the last thing I wanted him to be. I whirled around before I walked back in a rush. My heart shriveled in my chest. For some reason I’d never considered a rejection from Romero. I’d fantasized about our first kiss so often that the option of it never happening had never crossed my mind. The rest of the evening, I struggled to keep a happy face, especially whenever I saw Romero. I was actually glad to return to Chicago. I wouldn’t get to see Romero for a long time, enough time to get over him and find someone else to crush on.
Romero
I’d known Liliana had a crush on me. Aria had mentioned it before, but I’d never expected the girl to act on her feelings. She was a pretty kid. A kid.
I didn’t have the slightest interest in her and the soon she understood the better. She’d looked fucking hurt when I’d lashed out at her, but I had no choice. Even if she weren’t still a child, I couldn’t have let her kiss me.
When I returned to the living area, Luca walked up to me. “What was that? Why was Liliana outside with you?”
Of course he’d noticed. Luca never missed anything.
“She tried to kiss me.”
Luca’s eyebrows rose. “I assume you pushed her away.”
“Do you really have to ask? She’s my sister’s age.”
“Her age isn’t even the main problem. At least in her father’s eyes.”
“I know.” I was a soldier, and girls like Liliana were supposed to stay in their own social circles.”
Luca sighed. “That girl will be as much trouble as Gianna, if not worse.”
I had a feeling he might be right.
