During an early morning meeting with my captains—minus Tommaso who hadn’t showed up—to discuss the traitor situation, my phone rang. It was one of the men I’d sent out to check on Tommaso. “Did you find him?”
“He’s dead. We found him only in his underpants on the living room floor of his house. His wife freaked out on us.”
“Where’s she now?”
“Still in hysterics in the kitchen.”
“Take her to her parents.”
I hung up then called the doc and sent him over to take a look at the body. I knew what he’d find. I’d never asked Val to hand over the vial with poison that Antonio had given her. She must have given it to Bibiano so she could kill her husband.
Giovanni, Rocco and my Captains regarded me curiously. “Tommaso’s been found dead.”
“Did the traitors kill him?” Giovanni asked.
“We don’t know yet. Let’s postpone this meeting. We discussed the most important aspects of the matter. I need to deal with this.”
I stood and everyone did the same.
I walked out of Rocco’s office and crossed the entrance hall. Steps rang out behind me. I turned. Rocco. “Did Antonio or Raffaele reveal plans to kill someone else?”
I gritted my teeth as I considered my reply. It would cast suspicion on Bibiana if Tommaso’s death couldn’t be linked to the coup. Val would be absolutely heartbroken if something happened to Bibiana. I wouldn’t hurt her. But she’d be shunned. She’d have to leave our circles at the very least, cast out from everything she knew.
“They mentioned that they had planned to kill more loyal followers but they died before I could extract more details from them.”
Rocco frowned. I was usually good at making sure people remained alive long enough to reveal all their secrets, but yesterday had been a catastrophic day and even I wasn’t beyond failure. Hopefully that would placate him. He nodded, but his eyes remained curious.
On my way back home, the doc called, telling me what I’d suspected: Tommaso had been poisoned.
The moment I saw Val, anger rose in me. She should have confided in me before doing something this foolish. If Bibiana had acted suspicious, Tommaso might have anticipated her plan and killed her in a rage. She would have revealed Val’s involvement under duress and then I’d have to deal with Tommaso to keep Val out of the line of fire. Not that the current situation was much better.
“Valentina, I’d like to talk to you,” I gritted out and stalked into my office, glaring out of the window.
Val’s heels clicked on the floor. I turned around to her. Worry swam in her eyes. She was a clever woman. She knew something was off.
“Tommaso didn’t show up at the meeting today.”
Val actually played dumb, something that didn’t suit her at all. She tried to deny everything, which was futile. When she realized she couldn’t fool me she finally admitted to giving Bibiana the poison without a flicker of remorse. “I would do it again. I don’t regret freeing Bibi of that cruel bastard. I only regret that I had to go behind your back, but you left me no choice.”
“I left you no choice? You can’t go around killing my men!”
“He deserved it. You should have seen what he did to Bibi. You should have wanted to kill him for how he treated an innocent woman, wife or not.”
“If I killed every man in the Outfit who treated women badly, I’d be left with half of my soldiers. This is a life of brutality and cruelty, and many soldiers don’t understand that as Made Men we should protect our family from it, and not unleash our anger on them. They know I don’t approve of their actions. That’s all I can do.” It was a sad truth. I despised many of my men for how they treated their wives. In fights I usually made sure to save these men last, but I couldn’t outright kill them.
“But I was handed the chance to do something, and I did.”
“You helped a wife murder her husband. Some men in my position would find it unsettling to be with a woman who doesn’t hesitate to use poison.”
“I gave Bibi a chance, a choice. That doesn’t mean I would kill you. I would fight you if you ever treated me like Tommaso did with Bibi. Tommaso preyed on Bibi’s weakness. She was given to that old bastard when she was only eighteen, and she never knew how to defend herself against him. He’s had four years to be a better man, to treat her decently. He failed. Our marriage has nothing to do with theirs. You don’t need to beat and rape me to feel like a man, and I wouldn’t let you. And anyway, I’m not vengeful, or I wouldn’t have swallowed how you treated me the last few months, how you accused me of cheating. And Bibi never loved Tommaso, so…”
I had to look away from Val’s eyes for a moment. Her love for me…I didn’t want to be confronted with it now. Things were complicated as it was.
“I’m not worried that you’d poison me. As I said before, I trust you. But I’ll have to investigate Tommaso’s death.”
“You won’t punish Bibi, will you? Please, Dante, if you care about me at all, you’ll rule that Tommaso’s murder was related to the traitors and that Bibi is innocent. She’s gone through too much already.”
“There might be people out there who won’t believe Bibiana wasn’t involved in Tommaso’s death, for exactly the reasons you stated before. She had reason to hate him. She had reason to kill him.”
“Then blame it on me. I could have done it behind Bibi’s back to help her.”
“And then what?”
“Then you punish me and not her.”
“And what if punishment for such a crime would be death in turn? Eye for an eye, Valentina.”
“Don’t hurt Bibi. Just don’t. Without me, she would have never found a way to kill him. It was as much my fault as it was hers. I will share whatever punishment you inflict on her.”
As if I’d ever hurt Val. My feelings for her would always prevent that. Punishing Bibiana would hurt Val. They were best friends. Val was fragile in her pregnant state. I didn’t want to cause her distress, not more than I had already caused her with my cold demeanor. She deserved happiness and love. While I wasn’t sure if I could give her the latter, I’d do my best to ensure the first.
Tommaso had been a loyal soldier. He deserved my protection. My oath as Capo entailed protecting the Outfit and my men. Letting others poison them most definitely broke my vow. Val’s eyes begged me. I couldn’t deny her, even if it meant betraying the Outfit. I’d keep Bibiana’s secret.
For Val.
After my interrogation of Bibiana and finding her innocent, Val and I were on our way home. Rocco and even Giovanni had been suspicious. Bibiana’s story didn’t completely add up but my judgment was final and neither of my men would risk my wrath for someone like Tommaso. He hadn’t left anyone behind who actually missed him. That was my luck.
Val put her hand on my leg, smiling in relief. She was grateful for what I’d done. Her eyes shone brightly.
“Thank you for helping Bibi.”
“I did it for you.” I had hidden Bibiana’s involvement for Val, like I’d risked discontent among my men when I’d allowed her to work. I’d betrayed the Outfit’s interests for Carla and now I was doing the same for Val. How much further would I go for her?
Would I regret betraying the Outfit for Val? I doubted it. I’d never regretted my previous betrayals. Val was worth betraying my oath for.
During our next meeting, Giovanni and I listened as Rocco recounted what he’d gathered on the current mood among our soldiers after we’d found the traitors. A situation like this could either spiral out of control because my men considered me open for attack or it would solidify my power. Tommaso’s death had been an additional risk, one I shouldn’t have taken upon myself. Despite his disgusting nature, he’d been well liked among the Captains and soldiers because of his tendency to offer them free whores. His death had caused the most rumors, the most discord. It could have split the Outfit if the truth had gotten out.
Rocco was still suspicious. He was too cunning not to suspect something. He hadn’t been present during the torture so he was unaware of the details of the conspiracy. Maybe he would even have hidden the truth like he’d done with Jacopo but I had absolutely no intention of trusting him with another of my secrets.
Arturo knew that neither Raffaele nor Antonio had mentioned Tommaso as part of their plot, but his focus was very single-minded. As long as I allowed him to torture and kill, occasionally even an Outsider that rubbed him the wrong way, he was well entertained and not a threat. Rocco, too, wouldn’t investigate. He had everything he desired.
Things seemed to have gone smoothly, and yet I couldn’t help but feel a sense of foreboding.
“Help! Help!”
Rocco fell silent. I jumped up without hesitation, drawing my gun as I stormed out of my office. Rocco and Giovanni were close behind me.
The moment I saw Valentina cradling her belly, pure fear surged through me. I stormed toward her, pushing my gun away. “Valentina? What’s happening?”
“It’s nothing. I didn’t want to disturb your meeting.”
Valentina’s swaying betrayed her words for what they were, a lie. I steadied her and registered the fluid turning her pants darker. The baby.
Valentina could lose this baby before I’d ever told her how happy I was about her pregnancy. Because of me. Because of what I’d put her through?
Giovanni hurried toward us, his face reflecting the worry that threatened to paralyze me. “Valentina?”
“We need to get her to a hospital,” Bibiana said sharply.
I lifted Valentina into my arms.
“Your shirt. You’re getting it dirty.”
As if I gave a damn. I got us into my car and instructed Enzo and Taft to drive ahead, then I rushed off toward the hospital.
Valentina was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it, nothing but get her help as fast as possible. “We should have put a towel on the seat. I’m getting it wet,” she said.
Valentina’s skin was pale, her brows drawn together in concern and pain. “I don’t give a fuck about the seat, or the car, or anything right now. You are all that matters.” I needed to touch her, to feel her warm skin and assure myself that she’d still be there tomorrow. I clutched her hand. “We’re almost there. Are you in pain?”
“It’s not as bad as before. It is your baby, Dante. I never cheated and I never will.”
My suspicion became horrible reality at Valentina’s words. “Is that the reason for this?”
Val regarded me curiously. “You think my water broke because I was upset with you?”
“I don’t know.” I’d never forgive myself if Val lost our kid. “I’m a fucking bastard, Val. If you lose this child…”
Val squeezed my hand as if I was the one who needed reassurance. The moment we arrived at the hospital, doctors rushed toward the car. They threw me nervous glances, knowing full well who I was.
I followed them inside but stayed in the hallway when they rolled Valentina into a treatment room. She gave me another encouraging smile. The moment she was gone, I ran a hand through my hair and released a harsh breath. “Fuck.”
Enzo hurried my way. “We’re keeping an eye on the doors for suspicious activities, boss.” He paused, regarding me. A hint of compassion showed in his brown eyes. “Is she all right?”
“The doctors are checking on her now.”
“I’m sure she and the baby will be fine.”
I gave a terse nod, not willing to show how much this unsettled me. Enzo nodded and turned around. I was glad to be alone, even if it gave me time for self-hatred once more. Soon Giovanni and Livia rushed down the corridor toward me. Val’s mother cried openly and Giovanni had to steady her with an arm around her shoulder. When they arrived at my side, Livia hugged me tightly. I touched her back. Giovanni gave me an apologetic smile. “How is she?” he asked.
“And what about the baby?” Livia pulled back but kept clutching my arms.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to the doctors yet. They’re still treating Val.”
Livia sniffled. “God, I can’t bear the thought of our sweet Val losing her baby.”
“She won’t,” I said firmly.
Giovanni pried Livia away from me and pressed her to his side. “Everything will be fine, Livia.”
The door to the treatment room opened and one of the doctors stepped out followed by the second. They exchanged a look then one of them hurried off, leaving his colleague to deal with us. His expression made it obvious how reluctant he was.
“Is the baby okay?” Livia blurted before he could say something. Giovanni squeezed her shoulder in warning but she had eyes only for the doctor.
The doctor turned to me. “You’re her husband?”
“Yes, paint me the full picture. Don’t sugarcoat anything.”
He winced at my tone. “Your wife suffered a preterm rupture of membranes. She and the baby are well, but for it to stay that way she needs to rest as much as possible.”
Giovanni smiled at his wife, their relief blatant.
Once the doctor had given me clear instructions on how to proceed, he left.
“Go ahead,” Giovanni said. “I’m sure you and Val want some time to yourself.”
I stepped into the room. Val looked pale, but smiled softly at me. I promised myself to protect her and the baby at any cost, to work toward giving Val what she deserved.
As expected, Val couldn’t go full term. Six weeks before the calculated due date, I took her to the hospital for a C-section. I’d made sure that only the best doctors and nurses were present. I wouldn’t allow anything to go wrong. It was almost eight weeks too early and even though the doctors assured me that Anna was in good health under the circumstances, I worried.
I clutched Val’s hand during the surgery and she held my gaze.
And then the first cry rang out. Val’s eyes widened and I squeezed her hand and kissed her knuckles.
A nurse came around with a small baby covered in blood and grime. So small and helpless. My daughter. Our daughter. It was difficult to grasp and yet a sensation I hadn’t thought possible washed through me: a feeling of arrival. As if in this moment I’d finally shaken off the shackles of the past and could really live in the present with my wife and daughter.
Val released me. “Go to our daughter. Go.”
Val was weak and needed my support as much as our daughter did. I needed to be there for them both from this day until I took my last breath. It would be the biggest challenge of my life.
After pressing a kiss to Val’s forehead, I stood and headed toward the nurse. I briefly glanced toward Val’s open belly and the amount of blood around it. The doctor lowered his eyes and continued his work.
I followed the nurse and watched as she measured Anna. She cried pitifully, her tiny arms flailing.
“She’s healthy. 16.7 inches and 3.83 pounds. Do you want to hold her?”
I nodded and then finally I held my daughter for the very first time. She was much smaller than any baby I’d ever held and it fired up my protectiveness. I stroked her cheek, marveling at my feelings toward this small human. How could love be born this quickly?
I glanced over to Val who watched with tearful eyes. My love for her hadn’t been born in a single heartbeat but it didn’t burn less fiercely I realized now. I walked over to Val and showed her our daughter.
“Anna,” Val said. “Your dad will always love you and keep you safe.”
Words lingered on my tongue, words I should have said before but again they got stuck in my throat. I kissed Anna then Val. “You and Anna, both.”
Val gave me a knowing smile. Maybe she did indeed realize that I loved her. One day I’d tell her. I only needed to shake off that tiny strand still anchoring me to my guilt, to my vow to Carla.
