The rest of dinner—orchestrated bullshit more like—flies by, but I don’t taste a thing of the delicious-looking meal, too busy trapped in my own head. It’s not that I don’t want to marry Ash, in fact, the idea fills me with an intense feeling of satisfaction. And there’s something almost relieving about belonging to someone officially, body and soul.
But what about the other three pieces of my soul? The other three men that own my body? How can I be happy being the wife of one, and not the others? We are all entwined until there is no separating us, will this change things?
“Ash,” Julian says, his voice finally breaking through my turbulent thoughts. “Why don’t you take your lovely fiancée back to Highgate? Jax and Kai can go with you.” Why not Loki too? I briefly glance at the cuntwaffle but decide not to raise a ruckus since the guys don’t seem to be too worried about it.
I hate the way he orders everyone around, tells us all what to do, and expects us to jump and do it. I can see that Ash feels the same, his hands clenched into fists under the table, his eyes full of silver fire. Even so, he gets up, placing his napkin beside our dessert plates, his chocolate brownie untouched like mine.
“Shall we?” he asks in a low voice, holding his hand out for me to take.
I give him a brief smile, hating that I should be ecstatically happy, but am not. Most women are, I believe, when an impossibly beautiful man, who they love, proposes. Taking his hand, I, too, get out of my seat, feeling a gentle touch on my left hand. Turning to look down, I meet piercing blue eyes in a soft, round face.
“Congratulations, Lilly dear,” Janette says softly, giving me a smile full of warmth. “It was wonderful to meet you.”
“You too,” I whisper, a lump in my throat, squeezing her fingers back briefly before letting them go and turning to face Ash once more.
I hear the others scrape back their chairs, Loki, Kai, and Jax getting to their feet as we walk past, Ash’s hand on my bare back a soothing warmth.
“Not you, Loki,” Julian’s voice cuts across the noise of our departure. “There’s something we need to discuss.”
Ash tenses up next to me, the hand on my lower back going completely still as we pause and I look back at Julian, then Loki who’s jaw clenches.
“Just Loki?” Ash asks his father, whose face darkens.
“I’m not in the habit of repeating myself, boy,” Julian replies through gritted teeth, all sense of joviality gone.
Ash simply turns back and urges me to carry on walking, even though I can feel waves of anger radiating off his taut body.
The mansion is a blur as we hurriedly walk through it, my heels clacking on the marble floors. I can’t help the sigh of relief that leaves my lips as we step outside, pausing to breathe in the frosty Colorado air, a sigh of relief leaving my lips even though the freezing night air has my teeth chattering within moments.
“Here,” I hear Kai say from behind me, and I’m suddenly engulfed in his woods after the rain scent as his suit jacket falls over my shoulders, still deliciously warm from his body.
“Thanks,” I reply gratefully, a shiver of a different kind skittering over my skin as he places a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“Let’s go,” Ash commands, his tone hard. I know, like the rest of us, he just wants to get out of here as much as I do, plus is more than likely worried about leaving Loki behind. “Jax, I’m driving. Lilly’s up front.”
“You staking your claim already, brother?” Jax snarls, stepping up into Ash’s face, glaring down at him. Ash grinds his teeth together so hard I’m surprised that they don’t crack.
“That wasn’t a request,” he growls out. “Give me your damn keys, and get in the fucking truck.”
They stare at each other for several moments, huge chests heaving, and a spark of guilt flashes in my chest. I don’t want to come between them, to disrupt their bond.
“Hey,” I say, stepping closer, placing a hand on Jax’s forearm which is vibrating with tension. “Not here. Let’s just get back, okay? Then you can go all caveman and throw me over your shoulder.” The last part earns a small twitch from Jax’s lips, a relieved smile falling from mine.
With a final growl, he tosses the keys at Ash, who deftly catches them, as he walks towards his truck, parked where we left it on the drive. Kai follows, jogging to catch up.
“Come on then, Princess,” Ash says with a sigh, taking hold of my hand and leading us towards the vehicle.
A chilly breeze slips through Kai’s jacket, and looking up into a starless sky, I can’t help the feeling that this is just the start of something that will change us all irrevocably.
LOKI
I sit there, surrounded by these people, monstrous shadows dancing around them in the candlelight, half drunk champagne glasses littering the table. I’m glad the others have left, especially Lilly.
God, how am I going to tell her?
“And if I refuse?” I ask, looking up into the eyes of a wolf, the devil himself, Julian Vanderbilt. He smiles his demon grin, all straight teeth and black lies.
“Then Ash may find himself a widower not long after his wedding day,” he casually throws out, eyes hungry for any reaction I show.
However, I’ve learnt their lessons well, my cool façade not cracking as I stare right back at him. Inside is a different story, my heart rips apart, knowing that with what I must do to keep her safe, I will break her apart, too.
“And anyway, it’s not such a bad deal, son,” my cuntstain of a dad pipes in, and I turn to glare at him, showing exactly what I think of him. I smirk when he swallows hard. Good. Let him be scared of me.
I don’t bother to reply, turning back to the master puppeteer himself, and giving a brief nod, I seal my fate.
Forgive me, Pretty Girl.
LILLY
The next few weeks pass by, tension rife within all of us. When we got back the night after dinner at the Vanderbilt’s, Ash, Jax, Kai, and I sat down and talked the whole thing over. Turns out that Ash had found out mere moments before we arrived, Kai, too.
But as Ash pointed out more than once, he had no choice. Julian and the others, bar Jax’s mum, are all monsters with pitch-black souls. If Ash had refused to propose, they were going to dispose of me just like Julian had told me at dinner, whispering death threats in my ear like sweet nothings.
Jax relented with a growl, then threw me over his shoulder like the caveman that he is and took delight in making me scream his name over, and over, and over again whilst the Vanderbilt ring sat twinkling on my finger. Fucking brute.
Loki didn’t join us in the night as he usually does, and hasn’t since, although Jax and Ash have been keeping me more than occupied at night. In fact, I’ve barely seen Loki since the dinner, and a dark premonition fills my stomach. I know there is something going on. I know that it isn’t good, and the feeling leaves me sick to my stomach constantly, and off my food with worry.
It doesn’t help that Kai is also a little absent and looks exhausted, dark circles ringing his eyes, lines marring his forehead. Seems that his darkness has returned since that night, too.
Things feel like they’re spiralling out of control, and I’m helpless to stop it.
It’s the day before Valentine’s Day, which also happens to be Loki’s birthday—I know, irony knows no bounds—and I’m walking down the hall with Willow, heading to our yoga class. She’s chattering away about some guy she’s interested in, and I’m trying to listen, I really am, but sickness swirls in my stomach, making it hard to concentrate. It was so bad this morning that I couldn’t face breakfast.
“Lilly?” Willow’s sweet voice penetrates my thoughts. “Are you okay?”
I turn to face her, concern in her blue eyes as she takes me in. I’m obviously looking like shit, my face was especially pale in the mirror this morning as I was getting ready for the day.
“I’m just feeling a bit queasy. I have been since dinner at Ash’s parents.”
She, like everyone, knows about mine and Ash’s engagement. However, unlike everyone else, she knows that it was forced by his parents. I gave her some bullshit about them finding out about us being together, so being kind of old-fashioned they expedited things and forced the proposal. I don’t think she believed me, but being the beautiful human that she is, she didn’t question it.
She doesn’t know about the death threats, my standing in Black Knight Corp., or what the guys do. I’m almost certain that she suspects something is up, not wholly believing my excuses for not being over the moon about being engaged to Ash. And given her background, and her brother’s involvement in running The Shadows—a notorious postcode gang in West London that even I’ve heard of—I think she would get it and not be surprised. She’s not gone into details, as I haven’t with her, but she’s seen the darkness that lives in this world. Experienced it firsthand. It’s in the haunted look in her blue eyes, and the slight tremble in her hands when she recalls vague stories from the past.
“Lilly, now, don’t get pissed, but you’ve been feeling sick so much recently. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” she asks, looking at me sideways as we continue to walk.
I stop dead in my tracks, as does she, a sinking niggle in my stomach.
“I can’t be. I mean, there was a mess-up at Christmas, but I took the morning after pill a few days later…” I trail off, remembering what Kai had said about how it loses its effectiveness the longer you leave it.
“So there is a possibility?” she hedges, turning to face me full-on, lowering her voice as she quickly glances around. “When was your last period?”
My eyes flitter side to side as I try to recall the last time Aunty Flo came to visit.
“I–I don’t think I’ve had one since before Christmas,” I tell her, latching onto blue eyes full of sympathy.
“I’m popping into town later, so I’ll grab you a test. Then you’ll know for sure either way.” She reaches out, taking my suddenly cold hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.
I nod in thanks, swallowing thickly as we continue walking down the hallway.
Shit, what if it’s positive? What will I do then? Fuck!
Thoughts tumble in my mind until I feel queasier than ever, swallowing down bile as we approach a group of students standing around outside of the gym building. My eyes roll as I hear Amber Cuntmuffin’s nasally voice.
“I think a June wedding would be perfect, don’t you?”
I huff a laugh under my breath, pitying the poor fool who’ll be shackled to her for the rest of his life. However, as we go past, I stop dead in my tracks for the second time this morning when I catch sight of who’s standing next to a beaming Amber, his face bereft of its usual flirty smiles.
“Loki?” I ask, my whole body flashing cold when I meet anguish ridden emerald eyes.
“L–Lilly…” he starts, taking a step forward, but is cut off by cuntface magee herself, who grabs his arm, the crowd before her parting as she drags him towards me.
“Oh, haven’t you heard?” she asks, a smug as fuck smile on her face as she holds out her left hand. “Loki and I are engaged.”
My whole world shatters, fine tremors wracking my body as I gawp at the garish bauble in the February sunshine.
“Loki?” I ask again, swallowing the lump in my throat, looking up at him. “What’s going on?”
His eyes burn with jade fire, but it’s soon replaced with a devastating sadness that seeps into my very bones, chilling my soul. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, his lips moving, but no sound escapes as we stand in awkward silence.
“Aren’t you going to congratulate us?” Amber asks, her voice penetrating the haze that’s descended over me.
Anger, the likes of which I have never felt before rushes over me in a tidal wave, followed by an intense sickness that rises from my stomach, refusing to be ignored any longer. Without saying a single word, I spin and flee, just making it to the edge of the forest before tossing my bag aside, and falling to my knees, vomiting at the base of a tree.
“Shit! Lilly!” Loki cries and I hear footsteps approaching behind me. A hand alights on my back, rubbing soothing circles. “Fuck, Lilly, I’m so sorry. I should have told you sooner. I was a fucking coward. I have no choice about this, but I shouldn’t have let you find out this way.”
I finish heaving, acid stinging my throat as I spit on the ground once more.
“Water,” I croak out.
Seconds later, a water bottle is pressed into my hand, and I gratefully swill my mouth out, before taking a tentative sip, then another. A tissue is passed to me, too, which I use to wipe my mouth.
My mind still swirls like a tornado with everything that has happened recently, twisting until I want to scream. One thing stands out clearly, though, like a beacon of light. Turning round, careful to avoid the puddle of vomit now behind me, I face Loki, both of us still on our knees. I’m relieved to see that cuntface hasn’t followed him out, Willow either.
His brows are drawn together, and there are dark circles under his beautiful eyes, which are full of sadness and anguish.
Cupping his cheek, a move he leans his face into, I hold his gaze. “We will find a way through this, my love.” His breath hitches and his eyes fill with moisture when I call him that. It’s as if he thought I would have given up on him upon hearing this news. “Our fucking souls are merged, Loki. Nothing can separate them. Not cuntface, not Black Knight Corp., and certainly not Julian fucking Vanderbilt.”
His own hand comes up to cup my cheek so that we form an unbreakable circle. “But they’ll kill you, Pretty Girl,” he whispers, horror entering his gaze as it trails across my face. “If I refuse, you will not live long past your wedding day.”
A brief flash of fear lights up inside of me but quickly dissipates when I remember that we are not without power. In fact, we may have more than they do, now that I know about my inheritance.
“So we get them out of the way first,” I tell him, fierce determination filling me up and I straighten my back as if preparing for war. “Even if that means permanently removing them from the picture.”
His eyes go wide as he registers my meaning. And I do mean it, with all my heart. If we can’t remove the rotten core of Black Knight Corp. by legal means, then we will kill them. They’ve done terrible things, horrific things, without once getting their hands bloody as they force their own flesh and blood to bear the stains of their sins.
And as the saying goes, if you can’t beat them…then it’s time to get the knives out.
