As we step towards the idling car that has been waiting for us, I hear an achingly familiar voice call my name.
“Lilly!”
My stomach drops. You know, like when you are at the top of a rollercoaster and start to descend? It’s like that but about a million times worse, like my heart skips a beat and the world stops spinning for a moment. I turn around in what feels like slow motion.
“Lexi?” I whisper as the gorgeous brunette woman comes towards me, wearing killer heels and a tan Burberry mac that showcases her curves to perfection.
My eyes flit to the hulking man coming up behind her, and my breath stills as I take in his huge form, tattoos peeking out of his shirt around his wrists and neck. He could definitely give Ash a run for his money in terms of the amount of ink that covers his skin. I’m speechless, not able to say anything as they reach our little group. What the fuck are they doing here?
“Lilly. My little Lilly Bear,” Lexi croaks, voice full of emotion as tears fill her green eyes. They’re not emerald like Loki’s, but more of a spring green like newly sprouted leaves covered in dew. “Oh, Lilly love, I’ve missed you so much.”
She goes to close the distance between us, but a blond Viking steps in her way, completely blocking her from my view.
“Who the fuck are you,” I hear Jax rumble as the others close ranks, until all I can see is a wall of muscled backs.
I mean, the view is fucking awesome, but, yeah, I need to see what’s going on in front of them as well.
“Guys, it’s okay. I know them,” I assure them, trying to push between Loki and Jax but not getting very far. “Fucking move!” I hiss out in frustration, ready to start shit if they keep ignoring me. I feel a desperation to make sure that they’re really here begin to stir in my chest, my pulse pulsing in my ears.
They move aside slightly, leaving just enough of a gap for me to squeeze through. Fuckers. As I step through, I see Ryan squaring up to Jax, both practically snarling and vibrating with the need to let their beasts loose. I roll my eyes.
“Can you guys do the whole my muscles are bigger than yours shit later please?” I huff, stepping in between the fucking giants, causing Ryan to back up a step.
Jax brings a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to his body until his heat feels like it seeps into me, regardless of our clothes and outside coats. It’s really bloody distracting, but I manage to keep Her Vagisty under control to deal with the matter at hand. Ho-bag!
Ryan’s gaze flicks down to Jax’s hand, then over the other boys, all of whom look a little scary with scowls on their faces. It’s pretty adorable, and I have to rein in the smile that wants to spread on my face. Turning back to look at Lexi and Ryan, the almost smile drops as I wonder what they’re doing here, and how they knew I’d be here.
“Damn, girl! You got yourself one of those reverse harems that you were always reading about, huh?” Lexi laughs, taking in all the guys with a glittering twinkle in her eyes.
It helps break the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in my mind, whilst also causing me to blush scarlet. She always knew what was going on with me, so I’m not surprised that she guessed correctly what is between me and the boys.
Her eyes come back to rest on me, and the soft look of pure love that shines in them makes tears spring to my own.
“Oh, darling,” she says, her own eyes filling up as she holds out her arms to me.
I don’t think about the fact that I haven’t heard from them in almost a year. I just tear out of Jax’s grip and throw myself at the woman who was as close to me as my own mother. Her arms wrap tightly around me, surrounding me in her floral perfume and love as she holds me close. Tears track down my face, dripping onto her mac and darkening the fabric. My own arms band around her, holding on for dear life.
I feel Ryan step up behind me, and his own arms come around both of us, adding his scent of sandalwood that feels so much like home that even more tears fall. I soak in their embrace for several moments, letting the comfort wash over me and soak into my bones.
Finally deciding that I need some answers, and need to explain to the guys what the hell is going on, I straighten up, untangle myself and take a small step away. Immediately, Jax is at my back again, pulling me against him, and I draw from his strength to ask what has been silently eating away at me for almost a year.
“Why did you disappear?” I ask, swallowing the lump that is still in my throat. Ryan’s brow dips, his jaw clenching.
“We didn’t disappear, little one,” he tells me in his gruff voice. His chestnut hair is peppered with grey, more than when I last saw him a year ago, and his jaw is covered in a light stubble that really suits him.
“I haven’t heard from you in almost a year! What the fuck else do you call it?” Anger washes over me in a wave at his words, the feelings of rejection and abandonment roaring to the surface.
“Lilly lovely, he’s right. We’ve been trying desperately to get ahold of you, but seem to be blocked at every turn,” Lexi rushes in, stepping towards me and taking hold of one of my hands. “We tried everything. All the socials, email, and even sending bloody letters! But we never heard a dicky bird,” she tells me, her eyes pleading and her East London roots showing with the use of Cockney slang.
“I–I don’t understand…” I trail off, Looking between her and Ryan whilst being held by Jax with the others on either side of us.
“It’s the truth, little one,” Ryan assures me, his hazel eyes boring into mine. “We didn’t even get invited to the funeral, so we couldn’t talk to you then.” His jaw works like his teeth are clenched tight, a shimmer of tears in his own eyes that he tries to blink away.
“W–what?” My breath whooshes out of me, and I suddenly feel lightheaded, leaning into Jax more who tightens his grip.
I never got to go to her funeral. I was too drugged up, basically under sedation for several weeks after Mum’s death. Whenever I was awake, I would be an absolute mess. Screaming, rocking, and unable to cope. My uncle said that anytime the funeral was mentioned, I would fly into a mindless rage, and they’d have to sedate me yet again. I have very little memories of that time, more a feeling of pain and terror, but then, I guess that’s what trauma and heavy drugs will do to you.
Although I wasn’t able to attend, I’d assumed that Lexi and Ryan would have been there.
Before I can even formulate a response, Ash steps in.
“Can I suggest that we take this indoors somewhere? Before it starts raining again. This seems like a conversation to have in private.”
“Y–yes, that’s a good idea,” I stammer out, seeing the concern in Lexi’s and Ryan’s eyes, their gazes pained as they look at me. “We’re staying in Claridge’s, can you meet us there?”
“Of course, Lilly Bear,” Lexi replies, squeezing my hand. “We’ll be right behind you.”
I watch as they walk away until Jax takes a step back, and turns me back around to face the car, his huge hands on my upper arms.
“Come on, Baby Girl. Let’s get in the car, and you can have some breakfast,” he softly suggests, letting go and grasping my hand in his warm one. I follow him, my mind a maelstrom of emotions and thoughts.
We settle inside the plush interior, the luxury lost on me as Jax buckles my seatbelt, and Ash opens one of the food containers that he got from somewhere. It’s full of fruit and those small caramel Stroopwafels, and although it feels as though my stomach is churning, when he brings a waffle to my lips in silent command, I take a bite. My appetite returns full force as the sweet flavour hits my tongue, and before I know it, I’ve finished them and the fruit, leaving the container empty.
I must have eaten quickly, because we pull to a stop outside the hotel as I swallow my last mouthful.
“Good girl,” Ash praises, using his thumb to wipe a crumb from the corner of my mouth. “Right, before we go in, can you tell us who Lexi and Ryan are?” he asks, and I’m shocked to realise that I didn’t even introduce them. I take a deep breath.
“Lexi was Mum’s best friend, she worked at Grey’s too,” I tell them, looking at Kai who gives me a small smile that warms me more than the heating in the vehicle. He’s putting his stuff aside to help me deal with mine, and my chest feels like it’s going to burst, my heart so full as I look at him and then the others. “Ryan was Mum’s long-term boyfriend, practically a father to me although she never made it official for some reason.”
Ash nods, Kai obviously filled him in on our conversation by the lake last term, then the door opens and he’s stepping out, holding out a hand for me to take like a gallant knight.
I look around to see Lexi and Ryan walking up to us, tentative smiles on their faces as they take in the hotel. Like Mum, Lexi earnt well, but this is next-level shit.
I step away from Ash, taking hold of Lexi’s hand and her face lights up with a brilliant smile, the very reason why she had the best tips at Grey’s. It feels so comforting to be holding her hand, and we walk like that, following Ash and Jax with Kai, Loki, and Ryan coming up behind us.
Once inside, Martin, who was there to greet us, takes us over to the Art Deco style lift, ushering us inside. He leaves us to it, only after Ash assures him that we know where we’re going several times. Apparently, The Prince Alexander suite is their usual, and they’ve stayed here quite often before.
We take the lift up to the third floor, the male uniformed lift attendant making sure we get where we need to be, because heaven forbid we press the damn button ourselves.
Our personal butler, Edwards—I know, what the ever-loving fuck has my life become?—greets us as the gold lift doors open. He’s of middle age, dressed in a smart dove grey uniform with white gloves.
“Good morning, Mr Vanderbilt, Mr Matthews, Mr Thorn, Mr Griffiths, and Miss Darling,” he says politely as we step out of the lift onto the carpeted hallway floor. “This way, please.” He indicates with an outstretched arm, and we follow after him to the end of the corridor where he opens white wooden double doors. “We’ve added a slightly larger table to seat five, as per your request, Mr Vanderbilt,” he tells Ash as he ushers us through into an entrance hall.
Yep, you heard me right. Our suite has an entrance hall, complete with black, white, and grey marble tiled flooring, a crystal chandelier, and mirrors reflecting the space making it feel light and airy.
“Thank you, Edwards,” Ash replies, and his American accent is stark against the butler’s upper class British one. “Can we have a light buffet lunch sent up, please, enough for us and our guests.”
“Of course, sir,” Edwards bows his head, opening one of the doors and revealing the living room space before holding his arm out to take our coats. Once he has them all, including Lexi’s and Ryan’s, he hangs them up on an antique coat stand, then turns away to presumably fulfil Ash’s request.
My steps falter, alongside Lexi’s, as we take in the room before us. We seem to be in a corner of the hotel, because there are floor-to-ceiling windows draped in white gauze, and framed with duck egg blue watered silk curtains on two sides. Coordinating silk cushions are scattered on the navy blue velvet sofas, walnut side tables situated next to them. Other silk upholstered chairs are dotted around the room, and there’s a small dining table, plus a fucking baby grand piano. To top it all off, there’s another crystal chandelier. Jesus.
It’s not quite Buckingham Palace, but it wouldn’t be out of place in a stately home.
“Drinks?” Ash queries, snapping me out of my room-fest.
“Whiskey, single malt,” Ryan says gruffly, and I arch a brow at him. “Please.”
Loki chuckles, obviously remembering all the times I pulled him up on poor manners.
“Lexi?” Ash asks, and I think it takes her a little by surprise as she jumps.
“Same, please…” she replies, raising her perfect eyebrows at him.
“Asher Vanderbilt,” he says, heading over to what looks like a drinks cabinet. He’s such a cuntwaffle sometimes!
“You can call him Ash,” I tell her, earning a raised brow from the devil himself, although he doesn’t say anything further as he turns and starts preparing drinks.
I pull Lex towards one of the sofas, heaving a sigh of relief as I sit down in the soft cloud-like seat.
Loki and Jax come to sit opposite us on the other sofa, taking up the whole fucking thing. Bloody massive bastards.
“Loki Thorn,” my fallen angel announces, leaning forward. “And this hulking piece of real estate,” here he pauses to wink at me, and although I roll my eyes, my face heats fifty shades of crimson, “is Jax Griffiths.”
Jax just nods at Lex, then at Ryan who grabs his drink off Ash and comes to stand behind me. Ash brings me over a fruit juice mocktail, and I’m touched that he somehow knew I wanted to keep a clear head for this.
“Thanks,” I say, and his grey eyes soften ever so slightly, his lips twitching in response.
Kai hands Jax an orange juice, which makes Jax rumble something that no doubt was rude under his breath, and passes Loki a bourbon. He sits down on one of the cream silk chairs with a wine glass of clear liquid, which I’m guessing to be sake.
“Kai Matthews,” he tells Lex and Ryan, giving them a small smile.
Finally, Ash returns with what I think is whiskey for himself, and sits on my other side, even though there is a vacant chair to my left.
I take a sip of my drink, loving the burst of pineapple and coconut on my tongue.
“So,” I begin, taking a deep breath and setting my drink down on the walnut coffee table in front of me, and turning to face Lex with Ryan in my peripheral vision. “How did you know where I’d be this morning?” I ask, as it’s been bothering me since I first saw them.
“Sammi told us,” Lex replies breezily. “She used to work at Grey’s, remember?”
And suddenly it hits me, my eyes widening. I knew I recognised Richard’s receptionist.
“Shit! I thought I’d seen her before,” I exclaim, inwardly rolling my eyes at the fact that I didn’t guess who she was.
“Wait, Payne’s receptionist told you we were there?” Ash cuts in darkly. His warm hand comes to rest on my neck, his fingers lightly playing with that sensitive spot between my neck and shoulder, sending tingles racing across my skin straight to my now pebbled nipples. Twatwaffle.
“Please don’t be cross, Ash,” Lexi begs, her eyes flitting over my shoulder before coming back to rest on me. “We’ve been so desperate, and she knew that. I know she probably shouldn’t have told us, but I can assure you she didn’t tell anyone else. She’s one of us.”
Ash just hums in response behind me, so I decide to try and focus on something else.
“Why weren’t you at Mum’s funeral?” I ask, feeling a chill as I look at her. There’s a sharp pain on my hand, and I bring my finger up to see that I must have been picking at my cuticles, my index finger is bleeding around the nail bed.
Lexi tuts, grasping my hand and inspecting my finger. She reaches into her trouser pocket, pulling out a tissue to wrap around it, all while keeping my hand in hers.
“We didn’t know,” she tells me sadly, her eyes glistening and making the green colour shine like grass after it’s rained.
“The first we knew was when we finally managed to get hold of Adrian’s secretary who told us that it had already happened and was a quiet, family only affair,” Ryan cuts in, his voice rough. I glance at him to see his jaw is tightly clenched, his fist gripping his glass.
“I don’t understand,” I tell them, my confused gaze fliting between the two of them, then settling on my hand in Lexi’s. “I wasn’t there either,” I admit softly, a tear escaping my eye, and slowly making its way down my cheek, my throat thick. “I was too…fucked up, sedated for three weeks, and by the time I was compos mentis, it was weeks later.”
It’s the one thing, apart from the argument I had with her, that I am ashamed of. I was too lost in my grief to attend my own mother’s funeral. But to know that she may have been…alone. Why would Adrian do that?
I feel Ash shift closer to me, his warmth caressing my back as his hand moves to rub soothing circles on my upper back.
“Oh, Lilly Bear,” Lex murmurs, squeezing my hand. “Don’t blame yourself, love, it’s not your fault. Any of it.” More tears drip into my lap at her words, yet I know that what she is saying is true, and a small part of me is beginning to let go of the blame. “Do you, do you know where she’s buried?” Lex asks gently, and my head snaps up, my heartbeat thrashing in my ears.
“I–I, n–no,” I stutter, realising that I truly have no idea where she is, or what happened to her after the funeral. Nausea fills my stomach, my fingers going cold.
“Highgate Cemetery,” Kai tells the room in his melodic voice, my head turning in his direction as I let out a huge breath, my muscles going weak. I catch his eye, giving him a wobbly smile, which he returns, pushing his glasses up his nose. I’ve never been more thankful for his research skills.
“How do you know that?” Ryan asks suspiciously, and I turn my head back to look at him with a slight glare. He’s staring at Kai, eyes narrowed.
“Cool your heels, Ry,” Lex scoffs. “If Lilly trusts these boys, then so do we. End of.”
Ryan grumbles, but backs down, looking at me again a little sheepishly.
“Did Sami tell you that Richard was reading Mum’s will to me today?” I ask her, and her eyes go wide, mouth falling open a little.
“No, she gave us no details. Just said that you were going to be there, and what time,” Lex replies.
“Did you know Mum had stocks, shares, and bonds in Black Knight Corporation?” I question, suddenly desperate to know more about this part of Mum’s life. Lexi’s arched brows dip.
“Isn’t that the big company who used to bring clients into Grey’s?” she turns to Ryan and enquires. He also frowns.
“Yeah. And come to think of it, Laura was never there when they came…I don’t think, apart from maybe once…” he responds in an uncertain tone.
I look round at the guys, but if their furrowed brows are any indication, they are just as confused as we are.
“I wonder if that Mr Black guy would know more…” Lex muses aloud, and I catch Kai sitting up straighter, leaning forward.
“Did you say, Mr Black?” he quizzes her, his tone urgent. Jax and Loki sit forward in their seats too.
“Yeah, he’s a regular,” Lex tells him, then looks at me. “He was your mum’s biggest fan,” she says, flashing a small smile. “Why?” she asks, looking back at Kai.
None of the boys say anything, just exchange glances. I let go of Lex’s hand, turning so that I’m facing Ash, knowing that the others will follow his lead.
“What’s going on, Ash?” I ask firmly. He darts a look to Ryan and Lex, and I can’t help but roll my eyes at him. “I trust them as much as I trust you. They were at my birth for fuck’s sake!”
He waits a beat, then sighs, taking a sip of his drink.
“Well, apart from apparently you, a Mr Black is the second largest shareholder of Black Knight Corp.”
