Weeks passed where Thane required all of his soldiers to stay to fortify and help start rebuilding the city. The hard part was watching the suffering of the loved ones of the dead. But everyone was occupied with work: whether it was to feed people, chop wood, hold the hand of someone suffering, sew clothes, patch wounds, or other various tasks.
Although Layala wanted to find the All Seeing Stone Atarah mentioned, she didn’t know where it was and Thane was too busy to ask. So, to pass the time she trained with Piper, Aldrich, and Fennan each morning and with Thane in the evenings. He was back to his flirtatious self, and they didn’t talk about that night he dreamt of his father’s death or the way their arms and bodies pressed together dulled the pain.
Each day Layala was achy and tired, but she also enjoyed the work and the time she got to spend with the elves, getting to know Piper, Aldrich, and Fennan better, and being near Thane. When she wasn’t training, she was by his side, helping where she could.
Maker, he was a shameless flirt, and she didn’t know when she went from having her guard up to playing into it and wanting it. Wanting him. Although he hadn’t tried to kiss her again, he made ways to touch her if only briefly. Skimming her arm or sliding his fingers across her back as he scooted by. She found herself smiling all the time.
To honor his fallen Ravens, Thane ordered a Celebration of Life and the families of those soldiers finally arrived. Their bodies had already burned on a funeral pyre, but the ashes were placed in urns to be given to the families.
The soldiers’ swords and weapons were placed next to the urn of their ashes. Layala spent most of the day helping to prepare the event by setting up tables of food and drink, and now weaved crowns of flowers with young maidens for the celebration.
Piper lay in the grass, basking in the sunset but had no interest in flowers or making crowns. Sitting on logs under a yew tree, the three young ladies with Layala giggled when a pair of handsome males walked by. Their mothers were pregnant at the same time and named them after flowers: Rose, Lilac, and Freesia.
Layala shook her head, putting a hand up to shield her eyes from the low-hanging sun, and get a better look at the elves the girls spoke of. She couldn’t help the smile spreading across her face. “Why don’t you go speak to them?”
All three of them blushed. They were from Doonafell and were lucky that no one in their families had died weeks before. “What’s the point? They’ll be gone soon,” said Lilac, the one with raven curls that cascaded past her rump. Her skin was a few shades lighter than her hair and her eyes were gold.
“You can still have fun with them.” Layala raised an eyebrow.
“Lady Lightbringer, it’s not proper to speak such things,” said Freesia, the one with the lavender eyes and rich tan skin.
Chuckling, Layala tied the crown on her lap with pink ribbon. “I mean dance and laugh and talk, not anything sexual. I hear there will be music tonight.”
Rose, with hair so pale it was almost white, lifted her chin. “I, for one, will not be pursuing any males. If they want to dance with me, they’ll ask.”
“A she-elf after my own heart,” Layala said, and the maidens giggled again.
Tifapine plopped a crown on Layala’s head from behind. “Now you need a dress to match.” Tif walked around her, tapping a finger against her lips.
Layala tugged it off her head and inspected the crown. It was wonderfully done with lavender, soft pink roses and sprays of light green leaves and dark red berries still attached to the vine. “Do all the females wear them?”
“Most unmarried maidens wear them at gatherings such as this. It’s to show you are available. But you are mate-marked to the High King, so you’re not available.”
“But the spell is not yet finished, and she’s not married,” Tif said with a hand on her hip. “So, she can wear it. I spent three hours looking for the flowers and putting it together.”
“This sounds like a dangerous game to play,” Rose smirked. “I’m intrigued.”
“I wouldn’t wear it if I were you, Lady Lightbringer,” Freesia said. “You might offend him.”
“Oh, please do.” Rose tucked her pale hair behind her pointed ear. “We could do with something interesting around here instead of the melancholy and tears.”
“People died to save you, have some respect.” Lilac shot her a glare.
Piper cleared her throat but didn’t open her eyes or bother to turn from the sunlight. “If you wear that crown, you better be prepared to get burned by the fire you’re playing with.”
Lifting an eyebrow Layala found herself itching to put it back on. “It couldn’t possibly be that consequential. It’s just a flower crown.”
“Speaking of the High King.” Tif lifted her chin.
Layala’s stomach fluttered when she spotted him talking with what she assumed was one of the families of the fallen. The revulsion and pure hatred she once held for him was stolen by a spark that ignited every time he was near. He stirred things in her she hadn’t felt in years. Things she promised herself she never would again. She couldn’t get out of her head that he called her a goddess and a temptress or the way he caressed her face and it had been weeks ago.
His voice was like liquid fire pulsing down her back every time he spoke. In the last week she watched him, riveted with his every move. Somewhere from the time he took her from Briar Hollow to now she saw who he was. Someone kind but fierce. Funny but also compassionate. She fought back the desire to want to touch him. Although many things required Thane’s attention, he was never too far. They could be the full camp apart and she still felt his presence like a warm blanket under a cool, open night sky.
“I should go change. They’re lighting the torches and the music started.” Layala placed the crown Tif made her back on her head. A move that tugged at her gut, but she did anyway. Like Tif said, she wasn’t married.
Even though it was out of her way, Layala walked by Thane. Very aware of her heart’s sudden rapid succession, she couldn’t take her gaze from him. When his eyes snapped to hers, he stopped talking mid-sentence. She was far enough away she couldn’t hear the conversation, but when his jaw hung slightly ajar it was tell enough. Inside she was smiling although she didn’t let it show on her lips. So, the girls had been right about the flower crown, and he didn’t appear to like that she wore it one bit. A dangerous game indeed. She knew she was wicked for it, but she wanted to see what he would do.
Layala tore her gaze away and headed for her tent to change.
Right beside her, Tif said, “I had Piper get a dress for you that matches the crown. It’s a lovely maroon color.”
“You’re the best lady’s maid there’s ever been, Tif.” When Layala stepped into her tent where the dress was laid out on her bedroll.
Blushing, Tif twirled a lock of her hair around her stubby finger. “Ah, you’re too kind. But feel free to give me compliments at any time.”
Stifling a laugh, Layala slipped out of her clothes and changed into the dress. It reached to just above her knees and the bell sleeves were long, dangling well below her wrists in flowy lace. She strapped a dagger to her thigh and decided to forgo shoes. She liked the feeling of cool grass under her bare feet. “Are you joining the celebration?”
Plopping down on her pillow, Tif shook her head. “I may be able to come out with you around small groups, but I’m still scared of the dark. I’ll stay inside.”
“Suit yourself.” Layala peeked out of the slit of the tent, watching for Thane. He wasn’t anywhere near. She wanted him to see her and do something bold. He hadn’t even come close to kissing her again. I shouldn’t want him to kiss me. I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But she couldn’t stop replaying the moment he pressed her against the tree over and over, and how much she wanted him to do it again. You’re being stupid. You made a vow to never love again. She paced back and forth in her tent.
Layala expected Tif to ask her a load of questions about why she was pacing and why she hadn’t gone out to the party yet, but the little gnome dozed off. When Layala peered out the slit again it was dark. Night came faster than she expected. The torch between her tent and Thane’s was lit and the pale light from the stars and half-moon shone down brightly. She took in a deep breath and stepped out.
Drawn toward the slow beating drums, the light picking of strings and the airy whispering of flutes, she padded across the soft, cool grass. The Ravens danced with many of the young maidens of Doonafell around three large fires. Wine was served out of casks in goblets. She wasn’t the only one not wearing shoes either. It was much less formal than the Summer Solstice celebration.
A tug at her chest caused her to look left to find Thane sitting on what could only be described as a throne. It was made of wood but was carved with great whorls and painted midnight blue. His silver crown perched on his dark locks and those predatory green eyes watched her with brutal awareness. It was as if he stripped her bare and could see all that she was. Breath coming shallow, she followed the pull that yanked on her to go to him, then halted. She couldn’t give into him no matter how delicious he looked tonight. His black button-up tunic was left open enough to peek at the planes of his muscular chest and his hair was left down, unruly and worthy of grasping. Taking a sharp turn Layala made for the line at one of the wine kegs.
The male in front of her turned around with a smile. She didn’t recognize him but there were simply too many elves at camp to know them all. “You are as beautiful as a blooming red rose in winter, Lady.”
She smiled. “That’s a new one.”
He chuckled. “I apologize. It was a terrible line.”
“It wasn’t too terrible. Unique at least.”
“What’s your name?”
Layala took the wine offered by one of the attendants. He truly had no idea who she was? Was he not one of the Ravens? “Layala.”
“I’m Endafar. From Doonafell.”
Layala took a long drink and smiled. “I’m from…” she didn’t know how to answer that. “A very small place you’ve probably never heard of.”
“Would you like to dance with me, Layala from a very small place?”
Her eyes darted to Thane whose attention had shifted from her to a she-elf with a crown of white roses standing before him, blocking her view of his face. Jealousy lit within her so hot she had to take another long swig to clamp it down. “I better not.”
Endafar’s dark eyes danced with curiosity. “And why is that?”
“I think it might cause you more trouble than it’s worth.”
Thane’s words echoed in her mind, “You are mine. And I will destroy anyone who gets in my way.” Damn, why did she find that attractive? Why did it make her want him all the more?
When Thane got up from his throne, holding onto the hand of the she-elf pulling him toward the other dancers, she choked on her wine and turned away from Endafar in a coughing fit. Her magic itched at her fingertips, and she couldn’t even say why. “I’m sorry, excuse me.” Quickly, she started off in the opposite direction with the goblet shaking in her hand.
She paused when she thought she was alone, and took in a few deep breaths. Stop it, stop it. Thane is free to do what he pleases. You will only ever be mates in symbolism. But no matter how much she tried to talk herself out of the burning anger building in her, she couldn’t. A gentle touch on her arm made her jerk her dagger free and pushed it against—Endafar’s neck.
He put up his hands with wide eyes. “I only wanted to make sure you were alright.”
She lowered the dagger and shoved it back in its sheath. “Sorry. Reflex.”
“What was the name of this small town again?”
“I didn’t say.” She rubbed her forehead and looked down in her goblet. It was empty. Out of the corner of her eye she found Fennan watching with his arms crossed on the other side of a bonfire with Sunshine beside him. With a smirk, Sunshine winked at her, as if daring her to take Endafar up on his offer, although she knew he couldn’t hear. “You seem nice. You should leave me alone.” But when she saw Thane smiling down at the maiden he danced with, she gripped the goblet tighter. “Actually, I’d love to dance.”
He looked over his shoulder following Layala’s stare then turned back with a shrug. “Great.”
After setting her goblet on the table beside the wine, she let the young elf lead her in a dance. Her feet moved easily to the upbeat tune. They held hands, spinning in circles, and moving in and out but never too close. It wasn’t a song that invited intimacy. She giggled as the wine hit her, feeling lighter and carefree. She caught Fennan giving her a sneer and slight shake of his head. Hypocrite. He wasn’t sneering at Thane for dancing with someone else. She stuck her tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes and turned to Sunshine who appeared to be laughing at her. At least one of them had a sense of humor.
Endafar spun her around then let go, sending her bumping into someone. She didn’t turn to see who it was, instead swayed to the music caught up in the lovely melody. It felt like castles and pixies, and dragons and mist captured in a wistful song. After a moment of dancing alone, she found Thane with a different elf now. One with long braided brunette hair, completely enamored with him. In the minutes Layala watched them, she didn’t take her eyes from his face once. His easy smile made her want to punch him right in the mouth. How dare he smile at her like that. She didn’t care if it was the wine making her ridiculous; she stamped up to Endafar and kissed him on the cheek. Thane suddenly lost interest in his dancing partner. The muscles in his jaw flexed when she turned away from him. His stare bore into her back causing her skin to tingle in kind. When she approached the wine table again, the girls she wove crowns with earlier circled around her.
“The High King is staring at you,” Lilac said and sucked in her bottom lip. “He looks— angry.”
“I hope he is.”
Rose smirked, tapping her pale fingers against her goblet. “You are wicked. I wish I was you.”
“No, you don’t,” Layala muttered. To be mated to the most beautiful male she’d ever seen and not be able to touch him was a curse so cruel it cut her very soul. To have a secret so dark that it ate away at her more each day wasn’t something anyone would wish for. All she was was death for those she cared for. A curse on this realm.
She downed another goblet of wine while the girls chatted about which males they thought were attractive and which they wished would ask them to dance. Why hadn’t Thane asked her to dance? Why didn’t he want to take her in his arms and touch her and smile at her like he had with the others?
It wasn’t long before the second portion of wine left her contemplating confronting Thane. He retook his spot on his throne with Fennan and Aldrich on either side of him, talking as if he had no idea how he affected her. As if he couldn’t feel it. “I’m going to bed,” she blurted out. The girls bid her goodnight as she glided away from the celebration.
She didn’t make it even halfway before she heard, “You’ve had your fun with that poor boy and now you’re leaving?” His voice was like that wine, smooth and making her want to do things she shouldn’t.
“Like you care, Mr. Dancing-with-every-eligible-maiden-here.” She paused a moment thinking about turning to look at him but didn’t.
Thane slid into her path, forcing her to stop. “When you put on that crown you gave an open invitation for every male to pursue you. I didn’t think you’d care who I danced with.”
“It’s a silly crown, and I don’t care who you have your hands all over. I’m going to bed.” She pushed past him. “Alone. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of company.”
He stepped into her path again, and she balled her hands at her sides. Why did he have to look so good when she was angry? The slight breeze picked up pieces of his dark hair. The moonlight shimmered off the skin of his chest. Those damned green eyes bright even in the darkness.
“I don’t want anyone else’s company,” he said.
“Then what do you want?”
Snatching the flower crown off her head, he tossed it aside, losing it somewhere in the shadows. “It’s more than a silly crown to our people.” Then he swept her legs out from under her, caught her body in his arms and started toward the gathering.
“What are you doing? Put me down,” she protested, although she was silently reveling in his action.
“Doing what I should have done the moment I saw you tonight.”
“And what is that?”
He remained silent as he carried her by Rose, Freesia, and Lilac, all three wearing shocked and amused expressions. Then he strutted through the dancers, bumping into Endafar on the way by. His mouth dropped open and his cheeks flamed red. Everyone turned to stare, watching their High King and the Lady Lightbringer, until they reached his throne. After he set her on her feet, he sat. She watched him curiously… what was he doing? Grabbing her waist, he firmly pulled her on his lap. “Claiming what is mine.”
Everyone stopped dancing and even went silent as tension seemed to fill the air. As if everyone had paid attention to the drama between them the entire night. Thane lifted his hand, “Get back to the celebration.”
His other hand was flat against her belly, and his thumb moved in little circles. Layala’s body was on pins and needles, aware of his every curve and muscle against her. She twisted her upper body around to face him. His lips were so inviting, and she didn’t know if it was the wine or not, but she slid her hands up his chest and pushed her lips to his. She twisted her body full around, straddling her thighs around him, kissing him harder, slipping her tongue through his teeth. She didn’t care that everyone was there to watch them. She wanted them to see. No other girls in flower crowns would approach him again. He let out a low growl and slid his hands up and down her back slowly.
She wanted him enough her body could ignite into flames; it burned for him so much more than it ever did. “I wish I could have you,” she murmured against his lips. “I wish you could take me into your tent, and I could have my way with you.”
He pulled back with a smile, letting out a sigh. “How much wine have you had?”
Giggling, she lifted a shoulder. “Not enough to excuse saying that I’m afraid.” She trailed her finger down his neck then over his chest until she reached his navel and he caught her hand.
“I think you’ve had more than you’re letting on.” He intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of her hand gently. “What do you mean you wish you could have me?” His eyes dropped momentarily and lifted, locking onto hers. “I’m yours, Laya. I’ve only ever belonged to you.”
Her eyes watered and stung. “I’m cursed.” A lump formed in her throat. She could hardly believe she was going to say it aloud, but the secret must come out. “Remember when I told you the man I loved died. He died because of… me. He died moments after we made love. I—I killed him. I don’t know how. It wasn’t on purpose, but my body—my magic is poisonous. So, you can’t ever love me.”
She’d never told anyone her dark secret. No one in Briar Hollow knew how Novak truly died. Not even Aunt Evalyn. “That day is burned into my mind like a permanent wound. I can’t forget Novak’s ashen skin, his lifeless eyes. I can’t get it out of my head that I killed the man I loved.” Layala’s throat tightened, and she closed her eyes, drowning in the memory.
They kissed and made love, tangled in each other’s arms in a meadow outside Briar Hollow. The evening sun warmed their skin; butterflies swirled around them as if blessing their union. But after the high ended and she lay on his bare chest, he went utterly still. The steady beat of his heart she listened to stopped. Confused, she lifted her head. “Novak?” she whispered. His wide-open eyes stared at the sky… never blinking.
With a gasp, she jumped back. Panic swirled in her, her skin too hot. She grabbed his face, gently shaking him. It was just a bad dream; he must be sleeping. He had to be sleeping. “Wake up.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “Wake up!” His lips were such a dark purple they almost looked black… the color of her lilies. He did not wake.
Blinking several times Thane set his jaw. He continued rubbing her back and moved a piece of hair off her cheek. “Laya, it can’t be true. It doesn’t make sense. You didn’t use your magic against him. It doesn’t just lash out on its own accord.”
“It doesn’t matter what you believe or what makes sense. It doesn’t make sense that I was born with a black lily’s mark on my arm either. What happened to Novak is my fault.” She kissed the soft skin of his cheek. “And that’s why I said I wish. Because I may have wanted to kill you once,” she looked up at the stars and let out a short laugh, “but I don’t anymore.” She fisted his tunic tightly in her hands. “There are other things I’d much rather do.”
Thane closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I am sorry that happened, and to blame yourself for this is such a horrible burden you’ve had to bear. But you must let it go. This will slowly kill you, and rob you of happiness you deserve. I know the pain you feel, but I am not him. I am not a fragile human.”
She slowly shook her head. “I won’t risk it. It’s why I asked Atarah for a way to break our bond. We can’t ever be together. Not really. I can stay and fight and be your friend but that is all.”
“Friends don’t feel this way about each other.”
“It’s this cursed bond, Thane. Once it’s broken the feelings will go away. We must seek the All Seeing Stone.”
He slowly shook his head. “What I feel for you couldn’t simply go away. It’s more than the bond.”
“How do you know?”
“We certainly are more attuned to each other than most now, but you didn’t feel a pull for me when I came to you or before. I think your attempt on my life proves that.”
He smirked and she sighed, wishing she could scrub that day from her mind.
Thane added, “I cared about you before because I was aware of our connection and I hoped you would want to know me, if you felt it too. But that isn’t the reason I—want you now. I thoroughly love your mind, and even your stubbornness.” He smiled. “You’re determined and witty, and fierce. As fierce as any Raven. But you’re also kind and gentle. I’ve seen the way you care for those in need, like the children and your gnome.” He brushed his fingers across her collar bone. “You are more beautiful than I ever imagined. I have never wanted anything more than I want you. I am drawn to all of you, Laya.”
She kissed him then, softly. “Maker,” she breathed, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Why did you have to be perfect?”
Layala rested her head against his shoulder, half curled around his body and stayed like that until the music stopped and the celebration ended.
