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Break Me: Chapter 17


“Those green things, they don’t get any better when they’re cold.”

I drag my eyes up from the brussels sprouts on my plate to see Miguel’s wide grin. He’s making his rounds with a bin, loading in dirty dishes to take to the back.

The smile slides off when he sees my sullen expression. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. Just tired.”

“Right. I heard about that. So, you’re part of the crew now? Crazy. How’d that happen?”

I’ve seen the look on his face plenty of times already today. A lot of surprise, even more doubt. I sigh. Everyone’s been asking me that exact same question, along with “Why didn’t you go with Wolf? Doesn’t he need an assistant?” I give Miguel the standard answer that I’ve given to everyone else. “I knew my job as his assistant would only be a temporary one.”

“So, this is really what you want?”

“I like being outdoors. It’s what I originally applied for, so yes.” So, so long ago, it seems now. Back when all I wanted to do was get away from Jed and Greenbank, sure that I’d never get over him. Unable to so much as imagine looking at another guy.

Boy, was I wrong on so many counts.

“Well, then, I guess that’s good.” He pauses. “It’s a good look for you. It’s hard though.”

“Yeah.” I reach up to rub my shoulders. A full day of swinging an ax and loading wood, then unloading and stacking has reminded me how inactive I’ve been through the school year. I’m going to have a hard time getting out of bed tomorrow morning.

I could really use a massage.

“Hey, do you know—” I begin to ask about Michael but then stop myself abruptly. Miguel knows that Michael was with a girl two nights ago. If I ask flat-out, he may put two and two together, and I can’t risk anyone putting two and two together to equal Abbi was sleeping with Henry Wolf.

Henry has turned me into a paranoid freak.

But I need to know exactly what happened with Michael because no one has said a word about him being fired and shipped off yet.

Deciding on a more roundabout approach, I toy with my steamed rice and ask casually, “So, what’s the latest gossip? Anything interesting happening around here?”

Miguel shrugs. “Rachel came back.”

“Yeah. I know. She’s my roommate.”

“That’s right! I forgot. A cabin full of beautiful ladies.”

I stifle the urge to roll my eyes. After hearing how he refers to those “beautiful ladies” when he doesn’t think they’re around, his charm holds no power over me. “Anything else?”

“Nah. Same ol’ shit.”

I just don’t get it. Miguel would have heard about his roommate being fired, wouldn’t he?

Unless he wasn’t fired?

Do I dare hope that Henry was lying? Or maybe he changed his mind?

“You still eating?”

I offer Miguel a weak smile. “I might. Thanks.” My phone rings then, and I’m torn between relief that I can end my conversation with Miguel and annoyance that I have to deal with a call from home.

“See ya around, sweet Abbi.” Miguel winks and moves off to the next table with that swagger of his.

With a sigh, I answer. My day has already hit rock bottom. She can’t possibly make it any worse. “Hey, Mama. Sorry I didn’t have a chance to call back.”

“What on earth have you done to yourself, Abigail?”

I frown, unease sliding down my spine like a trickle of cold water. “What are you talking about?”

“There I was, mindin’ my own business at Sunday service and Mary Jane shows me a picture of my daughter looking like a jezebel!”

I don’t even know which Mary Jane she’s talking about—we know at least five—but now I’m panicking, especially given Henry’s threat. “What are you talking about?” For Mama to refer to me as a jezebel—a name that up until now has been reserved for Jed’s girlfriend—is serious.

“Some big event at that hotel you’re working at. There were pictures posted on that Tweeter thing.”

Oh. I heave a sigh of relief. “You mean from the grand opening?”

“Alls I know is you were in a skimpy black dress and those ridiculous shoes, and I could barely recognize you under all that muck on your face. And what on Gods green earth did you do to your hair! You’ve ruined it!”

I roll my eyes. I expected as much from her. “Mary Jane, who?”

“Lucy’s little sister.”

Of course. Lucy. The one who e-mailed me, asking about Alaska. I taunted her with a link to a picture of Henry, mainly so it would get back to Jed, so people would stop saying I’m heartbroken and want him back. “Why are they looking at Wolf Hotels on Twitter?” I already know the answer to that, before she gives it to me.

“They’re all obsessed with what you’re doin’ in Alaska and this boss of yours. And stop trying to change the subject.”

Of course they are. Because they don’t know the real him, like I so unfortunately do now. “I was required to wear that dress.” I stubbornly add, “And I don’t think I looked bad.”

“You had everyone’s tongues waggin’ around here. I can’t believe I had to defend my own daughter. What kind of employer would require you to dress like that as his assistant, you tell me that!”

She doesn’t really want to hear the answer to that.

And I don’t want to talk about Henry—or what I’ve been doing up here—with anyone, including Mama. “How are things in Greenbank? How’s Dad?” I haven’t talked to him at all since I got here, which isn’t entirely unusual. He’s not much of a phone guy and he’s hardly actually at home. I’ll have to call when I know he’s around. Basically, at sunrise, at lunch, or at dinnertime. Otherwise he’s in the fields or sleeping. The time difference is making it hard.

She heaves a sigh. “The usual. I haven’t been sleepin’ much, worryin’ about you.”

I hear the sound of her sucking back a sip of something. “You’re drinking coffee?”

“Just my usual cup.”

I roll my eyes again. “It’s almost ten at night over there, Mama. You’re not sleeping because of caffeine. Don’t be trying to give me a guilt trip about that.”

“I’m not givin’ you a guilt trip. If you feel guilty, then it must be because you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing.”

Good old manipulative Mama.

The crew strolls in then, all freshly showered and changed, and my spirits sink. I was hoping to avoid them for the rest of the day, to be honest. Not that they’ve been anything but civilized. Ronan was decent enough to leave me alone, and Connor made only a few mild sexual innuendos that actually made me chuckle.

But I’m exhausted and sore and all I wanted to do was grab a quick bite to eat in peace and then go back to shower and curl up in bed.

Ronan and I lock eyes for a split second, but I avert my eyes quickly.

“Abigail! Are you even listening?”

“Yes!” I totally wasn’t listening.

“That place and those people are obviously no good for you. You’ve had your time to do whatever it is you needed to do, and now it’s time to come home, before you have major regrets. I’m sure Reverend Enderbey doesn’t like seeing his future daughter-in-law splashed all over the Internet, especially not dressed like that.”

I let out a loud groan of frustration. Every conversation with her is the same. She is relentless and delusional. She’s one of those people who thinks that if she keeps harping on a topic, she’ll eventually get her way. The worst part is, she usually does.

“For the last time, Mama,” I manage to get out through gritted teeth. “Jed and I are not getting back together. I don’t care if you’re right and he gets bored of Cammie. I don’t care if he changes his mind. I don’t want him back. I will never want him back.” It’s time to lay down the law, because I can’t keep dealing with this. I’ll go insane. “You want to know why I don’t call home more often? Why I avoid your phone calls? For this exact reason. I’m sick and tired of the broken record. I love you, but from now on, every time you bring Jed up, I will hang up the phone.”

“Abigail Margaret Mitchell, I am your mama and you do not speak to me like that.”

“Too bad, Mama. You’re not respecting my wishes and you won’t let me move on!” I’m not bothering to be quiet. I don’t care who can hear me anymore.

A strangled gasp fills my ear. “After all your daddy and I have done for you, paying for your schooling, raising you right, giving you everything you have, you have the nerve to speak to me like that.”

Here we go, the second stage of Mama’s guilt trip. “I appreciate all of that, but that doesn’t mean you get to make my decisions for me. I’m an adult now.”

“I don’t try to make your decisions. I simply try to guide you in the right direction!”

The right direction—to spend the rest of my life with my cheating ex-fiancé because it looks good for the Mitchell family that he’s the reverend’s son. It took me a while to realize that this is what it’s really about: our standing in Greenbank. Our standing with the church. She’s so caught up in that, she can’t see anything else.

The guys head toward the cafeteria. Except for Ronan. He’s weaving through the tables, on his way toward me.

“I’ve gotta go. My boss is calling,” I lie. I can’t deal with her anymore. Not today.

“And your boss is more important than me?”

No, nobody is more important than you, Mama, because you’re a narcissist.

“Talk to you later.” I hang up before she can respond, dropping my phone into my pocket just as Ronan stops next to my seat, the smell of fresh soap enveloping me. While I wasn’t sweating today, I know I’m far from clean. I really should just get up and go right now. “Aren’t you getting dinner?”

“Connor’s grabbing a tray for me.” He spins a chair around to straddle it, his knee bumping into mine. “You okay, red?”

I tuck my legs in tighter and stab my roast beef with a fork. “I’m fantastic.”

“Good. I was afraid you weren’t, the way you ran out of your cabin that night.”

Is he actually going to bring that up, right here? I glare at him, hoping my warning is clear—that I never want to talk about that night with him, especially now that I’m going to have to work with him every single day.

“Hey, boss.” Connor comes up from behind to set his tray down on the other side of me. He hands one to Ronan. He eases into his seat. “Long-ass day, huh?” He shoves a slice of roast beef into his mouth, then washes it down with beer, before winking at me.

“Yeah. But I liked it.” I will not show these guys my physical pain, I promise myself as I quietly eat my cooled plate of food.

Other guys begin trickling in from the cafeteria line to take seats at our table.

“I’ll get you a beer,” a guy in a security uniform says to another. The badge clipped to his shirt reads Corbin.

“Fuck that. You’ll need to buy me a case for me to ever agree to swap with you again,” the guy trailing him says. He’s also in a security guard uniform, with a badge that reads Mark. I immediately recognize his voice as the security guard roommate from Michael’s cabin. He looks exactly like the burly teddy bear I imagined when I heard his voice.

Does he know what happened to Michael?

“Come on! It’s a bit funny,” Corbin says, smiling.

Mark drops his tray onto the table. “Nope. It’s not.”

“Why would you want to sit in a room all night and watch monitors, anyway?”

“Same reason you do. So I can watch people screwing in the stairwell. And not get pissed on.”

Right. He’s still angry about that.

“Watching people screw. What would that be like? Hey, red?” Ronan murmurs under his breath, knocking my arm with his elbow.

I don’t think anyone heard but still, my face explodes with heat. I stuff a brussels sprout into my mouth to avoid having to answer.

“So, how many cameras are there around this place, anyway?” Connor asks.

“Dude…” Mark groans, cutting into his meat. “So many. Unless you’re inside your room or the showers, assume you’re on camera when you’re on this property.”

Cameras, everywhere. Does that mean that the Wolf security watched my mini breakdown in the stairwell this morning?

“Seriously? Fuck… Can’t get away with anything,” Connor mutters.

“No. You really can’t.” Corbin points his breadstick at Connor and then laughs, like he’s already caught Connor on camera doing something untoward. I wonder if that something untoward is with Tillie. Though I doubt she’s dumb enough to get caught on video.

Not like me.

“Not unless you know where the blind spots are, and there aren’t many,” Mark adds.

There’s a round of ketchup-passing and salt-tossing back and forth around me, as the guys trade comments about hot guests and hot coworkers through mouthfuls, not in the least bit concerned that they may offend me.

“He’s alive!” Mark announces as Andy takes a seat. “Thought you were going to be incapacitated for a few days.” He laughs when he says that, like there’s some funny story behind it. Obviously he knows something that I don’t.

“Yeah, that was the plan,” Andy mutters in his throaty Australian accent. “But my shoulder’s acting up again.”

“Get Aspen to work on it. It’s his damn job. What the hell else is he good for?”

“I wish. Aspen’s gone. Left yesterday.”

My heart skips a beat. And… finally. Confirmation that Henry wasn’t lying and he really did fire Michael for sleeping with me.

“Gone? What do you mean, gone?” Clearly, Mark had no idea.

“I mean packed up and on the ferry, gone.”

Mark’s face pinches up. “Like, fired?”

“Dunno. He just said he had to go.”

“But isn’t he, like, Wolf’s guy?”

Andy shrugs. “Wolf’s gone so why keep him up here?”

“Nah. That doesn’t make sense. He’s one of the favorites on staff. He must have done something to piss Wolf off.”

“Like I said. Don’t know anything.” Andy’s gaze flickers to mine for a moment before focusing on his dinner.

Andy does know something: that I slept with Michael the night before he was shipped off.

I drop my focus to my plate.

“Wonder if it has anything to do with what happened with Wolf’s brother. You guys heard about that, right?” Corbin asks.

“Right, I saw him storm through the lobby all bloodied. He left on his helicopter right after,” Connor says, clearly unconcerned. “Sounds like Wolf and him got into a fistfight. I would have loved to see that.” A pause, and then he turns to me. “Hey, were you there to see that?”

“No. I came after.” I stuff another sprout into my mouth and chew slowly.

“Damn… his own brother. That’s pretty cold. Wonder what that was about?” I feel Ronan watching me as he takes a sip of his beer, and it prickles the hairs on the back of my neck.

And here I was, thinking guys didn’t gossip.

Ronan thinks that fight was about me. But it wasn’t. It was about his brother trying to have Henry framed for rape and pushed out of the family business, I want to say.

Then again, why am I even defending Henry?

“Probably has something to do with finding out he got his brother’s sloppy seconds,” Corbin says through mouthfuls.

“Which chick?” Connor asks.

“The one in Penthouse Two.”

“Damn.” Connor nods his approval, while my chest tightens. I’m not going to sit here and hear details of what these guys may have caught on a security camera. I quietly gather my dishes, hoping to duck out without notice.

No such luck.

“Hey. Where are you going? We’re just getting started. It’s your inaugural night as part of the crew.” Connor scrapes the last forkful of food off his plate, having inhaled his dinner. Ronan’s not far behind him.

“I have to call home and then shower,” I lie. I’m getting so good at lying.

“You must be sore after working so hard all day. Need any help in the shower?”

My cheeks flush. There are at least ten guys within ear shot. “No.”

Connor’s rich blue eyes peer up at me. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. Where’s Tillie, by the way?” And why would she put up with a guy who so openly flirts with everyone?

“Probably working. I don’t know.” His gaze drops to my chest. “We have an understanding.”

An understanding. I roll my eyes. What I’ll never understand is how these people treat sex so casually.

“We’ll be here if you change your mind!” he hollers after me as I drop my tray on the counter.

“I won’t,” I mutter under my breath as I leave the lodge, intent on a quick shower and then bed. But when I hear laughter as I approach my cabin, I’m forced to continue on past it. Great. I can’t even hide out in peace.


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