My feet falter at the sight of Henry, looking larger than life as he leans against a service truck, powerful arms folded over his chest. He holds my gaze for three long seconds before shifting back to focus on Darryl. They’re talking, and laughing. It’s all very casual.
Meanwhile I may be moments away from passing out. My chest actually hurts, it’s tightened so fast.
I hear a soft “Fuck” from Ronan beside me.
The only one who’s clueless is Connor, who slows and looks back at us when he realizes we’re not beside him anymore. “You guys coming?”
“Yeah.” I finally croak, forcing myself forward, my work boots suddenly ten times heavier. My heart is racing by the time we’re in front of Darryl.
And Henry.
“Hey, we’ve got another load in. We’ll stack it after break, if that works for you?” Connor has absolutely no idea that my world is falling apart.
I was doing so well, too. I’d compartmentalized all of my feelings—good and bad, mostly bad—into a little box and stuffed it into the recesses of my mind. I’d started to move on, letting myself enjoy life. Enjoy other guys.
And none of that matters anymore.
“Yeah, go on,” Darryl mutters, just as clueless.
Connor nods, then shifts his focus to Henry, turning on a more respectful persona. “Good to see you around again, Mr. Wolf.”
Henry eases off the truck and offers a hand. “Connor, right?”
A slight frown flickers across Connor’s face. “Yeah, right.” I know what he’s thinking: how does Mr. Wolf know my name? But I’m not surprised. Henry knew every one of my roommates’ names.
“And Ronan.” Henry’s jaw tenses as he offers Ronan his hand.
Finally, his eyes settle on me again.
And I feel the weight of my pain as surely as if it just happened. All this time… everything that’s happened between Ronan, Connor, and me… none of it matters. My heart hasn’t been able to dismiss and move on.
My heart is stupid.
He’s evil, I remind myself. I can wish that he’s different, but he never will be.
“Miss Mitchell.”
I clear my voice. “Mr. Wolf.”
“How is the Outdoor crew treating you? Is it everything you wanted?”
“It’s been great. Everyone treats me well.”
“I’m sure they do.” There’s a sharp edge to his tone, compounded by a lightning quick gaze to either side of me. To Darryl, he promises, “I’ll have the truck back by four.”
Darryl snorts. “It’s your truck. Keep it as long as you want. You need help out there? I can send these guys out.”
Henry lifts an ax that I didn’t notice resting against the tire into the back of the truck. “Maybe. I’ll see how I feel.”
“Right. Well, radio in if you do.”
I can’t help but stare at his form—clad in a simple black long-sleeved shirt and cargo pants—as he climbs into the truck. He somehow looks better than he did before.
Henry’s back. Who knows for how long. And it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change what he did.
But Henry’s back.
“Abbi!” Connor’s voice snaps my attention back. “Where’d you go to?”
I feel Ronan’s gaze on me. When I meet his eyes, he simply nods to himself, sad realization filling his features. “We’ve lost her.”
~ ~ ~
Voices buzz around me but I easily tune them out.
Because Henry is here and everything has changed. For better or worse, I can’t stop thinking about him, as much as I want to.
A corn kernel to the forehead pulls my attention back. I look up to find Connor watching me intently through a sip of beer.
I sigh. “Yeah?”
“You good?”
I nod.
He leans in slightly. “It’s not because of… you know what.” He quirks a brow. “No regrets, right?”
For all that Connor may be, he’s decent enough to be concerned that my boundaries were pushed too far. I feel bad that he has no clue what this is really about. If I could tell him, I would. But instead, I offer him a weak smile. “No regrets. I swear.” Not about what I did with him and Ronan.
Regrets about Henry? That’s an entirely different question, and one I can’t answer. Had I not met him, not fallen for him, not given him me, would I still be that idiot pining over Jed?
Chalk it up to a life lesson. A brutally painful one.
Ronan smooths a hand over my back. “She’ll be fine. Right, red?”
“You shut up. I’m still pissed at you. It’s your fault we missed the last ferry,” Connor grumbles, shoving a mouthful of meatloaf into his mouth.
I nod at Ronan with appreciation. He took the blame, disappearing mysteriously, only to reappear as John was leaving the docks. He knew a night in a hotel in Homer was not happening between us.
He also knows that nothing is going to happen between us again.
I just can’t.
“Hey, buddy.” Mark drops a hand on Connor’s shoulder before settling in beside him, Corbin on the other side. The lodge is busy tonight, with people continuously joining our table.
“A grizzly can weigh up to fifteen hundred pounds,” Corbin says. They’re obviously mid-conversation. Or mid-argument.
“That’s not just any grizzly. That’s a Kodiak.” Mark shakes his head at his friend. “Dude, have you not learned anything while in Alaska?”
“When the hell am I going to learn something? I’m always working!”
“Yeah, ‘working,’” Mark jokes, making a jerking off hand gesture.
I get the feeling that Corbin and Mark are the type to argue about the sky being blue and the grass being green, just for the sake of arguing.
“So, what’s new in the world of voyeurism anyway?” Ronan asks between mouthfuls of his burger.
“It’s been pretty fucking dull lately,” Corbin mutters. “Too many respectable guests. But, Wolf is back so maybe that’ll change.”
“He’s too smart to let us catch him on camera, dumb ass.” Mark shakes his head at his friend, but Corbin’s already ready with a counterargument.
“Need I remind you about the smokin’-hot magazine writer?”
I’m ready to toss my fork at them. I really don’t need to hear about this again right now.
Mark smacks the table with this palm. “I already told you, Wolf didn’t hit that!”
“I watched him go into the cabin with her and that hot blonde with my own eyes!” Corbin emphasizes “hot” with two hands cupped and held out in front of his chest. “A guy like Wolf walks into a cabin with two women like that and the hell they aren’t bangin.’ He probably said ‘get naked’ and they were all ‘yes, Mr.Wolf!’ Dude’s my hero.”
Mark shakes his head. “That’s not what happened.”
“Basically, it was.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Fuck! Shut up!” Ronan shouts, annoyance filling his face. “You two need to get laid.”
Mark rolls his eyes at Ronan. “Fine, Corbin. How long was he in there?”
Corbin shrugs. “I don’t know. I went on break.”
“Well, I can tell you for a fact that that’s not what happened.”
“You weren’t there!”
“No, but Andy was. Right, Andy?” Mark points his fork to the end of the table where Andy has just slid into a seat.
Heads turn toward him, waiting.
“I was where?”
“That journalist. The night Wolf shot her down.”
I can’t keep the frown from showing. What?
“Damn, just throw me under the bus, why don’t you, Mark.” Andy’s shaking his head, but he’s struggling to hide his smile.
“Wait. You were there with Wolf and those two hot chicks?” There’s no small hint of envy in Corbin’s voice.
“Oh, he was there all right.” Mark waggles his brows.
Andy tosses a corn kernel at his roommate’s head, pinning him in the nose.
But it doesn’t distract Corbin from his need for the decadent details. “Bullshit. Like there there? What happened?”
Andy takes a sip of his Coke—I assume, because he’s working tonight; he drinks as much as the crew, otherwise. “Fuck, Mark. If I get canned for this….” Andy shakes his head but then heaves a sigh. “I heard them come in so I went to see if they needed anything. The two chicks had stripped and were standing in the living room in nothing, waiting for Wolf. But he turned them down.”
“What? No. He never turns ass down.”
“How the fuck do you know?” Mark mutters.
“Because he has a Wolf shrine that he jerks off to, nightly,” Connor jokes, earning a round of laughter from everyone but me.
Because I desperately need to hear the rest of this story.
Andy shrugs. “I don’t know. He gave her some excuse about being involved with a woman and not wanting to fuck things up.”
“That guy doesn’t commit. Not when he can have as much ass as he wants.”
“Don’t shit where you eat.” Connor licks mayo off his finger. “She’s from a big magazine. Smart guy. I guess that’s why he’s the boss.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure how smart he was. She was pissed. Tried to save face by blowing him off, saying she didn’t care because she had the better fuck the night before with his brother, and she was going to destroy his hotel. And Wolf… damn.” Andy’s eyes widen. “Did he let her have it. Told her that if her article even suggested to him that she was acting unfairly, he’d make sure her boss knew what she’d been up to while here.”
“Fuck. The guy’s got some huge fucking brass balls on him.” Corbin is officially in love with Henry. “Shut that bitch down. Crushed her.”
Mark chuckles. “I wouldn’t say that.” His sideways glance at Andy tells me there’s more to the story.
Andy shakes his head. “She called me in there and made me watch her and her friend do lines of coke off each other.”
“And then?”
There’s a long pause. And then Andy grins wide. “Then they broke my cock. I couldn’t get it up for two days. Best night of my life.”
They’re all laughing and jeering. I feel Ronan’s eyes on me, but I keep my gaze on my plate as blood rushes through my ears like a freight train. If what Andy’s saying is true—and I get the feeling that it is—then that means….
Henry lied to me. He led me to believe that he slept with Roshana and that other woman.
I thought I felt ill before but this churning in my stomach, this guilt whirling around inside me, is going to make me lose my dinner.
My eyes begin to burn and I furiously blink away the tears, not wanting anyone to find out.
I need to know. I need to look Henry in the eye and get the truth from him.
Ronan, so in tune with me and having figured out the other piece to the story, leans in and whispers, “Go. I’ll clean up for you.”
Barely managing a nod of thanks, I slide out of my chair.
It takes everything in me not to run all the way to Cabin One.
