was preparing the veggie lasagna for the boys, I held my breath, waiting for Amir to trash it. But, aside from letting me in the house and barking at me to change the sheets on his bed and vacuum the living room, he’d left me alone. From time to time, I caught a glance of him on the porch through the window, but he never came inside. I’d been so tempted to play his piano, but all I could bring myself to do was run my fingers over the keys.
Now, dinner was baking, and I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to leave, so I set up my laptop on the kitchen island and started writing a paper that was due next week. The house was surprisingly quiet. If I hadn’t been on edge, I would have found it comfortable. It didn’t feel like how I imagined a typical college rental. The floors weren’t sticky, the furniture didn’t have tears, there weren’t any Solo cups strewn about.
I’d changed Amir’s sheets as quickly as possible, pausing only to gawk over the fine quality and obviously high thread count. And, god, his warm spice smell was everywhere in his bedroom. It was like walking through a cloud of his essence. His scent was the very best part of him. Being in that room, completely immersed in it, staggered me so much, I had to breathe out of my mouth so I could finish the job.
“Yo, yo, it smells good in here.”
“Yeah it does.”
Marco and Julien strode into the kitchen. Marco opened the oven to peek at what was cooking. Julien stopped at the island, popping a couple green grapes into his mouth.
I’d only met Marco once, last weekend when he’d helped Julien escort Elliott and me to Amir. His presence was darker than Julien’s, more like Amir’s, but not as scary. No one was as scary as Amir.
Like Julien, Marco was tall and lanky, built like a basketball player. Like Julien and Amir, he was unreasonably, intimidatingly attractive. Marco had a rich, dark-brown complexion, tightly cropped curls, and lips worthy of really good poetry. And when he came to stand by Julien, swinging his arm around his friend, he grinned at me, and I was sunk. There was no way I’d be able to have a normal conversation with this beautiful man, so I really hoped he didn’t try.
“I can’t believe you came back after the bullshit Amir pulled on you last night,” Julien said. “You should’ve seen my tears when I had to eat pizza instead of your pasta.” He dragged a finger down his cheek.
“I don’t think I really had a choice.” I shrugged, giving him a wobbly smile. “It wasn’t a big deal. I can always poison his food next time.” I covered my mouth in disbelief I’d let that slip. Being around two very attractive men apparently wasn’t good for my brain.
Julien chuckled, and Marco almost smiled. “I like it, Princess Z. And I do think it was a big deal. A big, shitty deal.”
Marco turned serious, giving Julien a nudge. “You need to stop talking. What Amir does with this girl is up to him. You don’t question that—especially not in front of her.”
Julien shrugged him off. “That’s you. I call him out on his bullshit always. The day I have to hold my tongue is the day I walk away.”
“Who’s walking away?” Amir strode into the kitchen, his heavy, dark brow pinched into a straight line.
Marco clucked his tongue. “No one, man. I was just reminding this kid to keep his opinions to himself.”
Amir braced his hands on the island, pointedly ignoring me even though he was standing so close, I caught a whiff of his spice and had to stop myself from leaning in closer for more.
“What opinion?”
Julien rolled his eyes. “I already expressed to you how uncalled for it was for you to trash Zadie’s food yesterday. Marco disapproves of sharing my displeasure with the girl herself.”
“Property.” Amir stroked my hair like I was his pet. “This girl is my property. She doesn’t need to know your feelings. They don’t concern her. If I want to throw away every dinner she makes, I will, and she’ll come back for more. That’s how this works.” His fingers tangled in my hair and made a fist, tugging my head back so my face was pointed up at his. “Right, Zadie? You’ll keep coming back.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“See?” Amir gestured to his friends. “Zadie’s on board. She doesn’t have any problem with our arrangement. Why the fuck should you?”
Julien’s nose twitched. “Because it’s not cool, man. Another girl, I wouldn’t say shit. But not her. She’s not part of this. It was all on her idiot boyfriend. She’s a nice girl, and you’re—”
In a flash, Amir had my head cradled in the crook of his arm and his thumb hooked on my bottom teeth, keeping my mouth open.
“This nice girl would get down on her knees and blow me if I told her to. You know who she won’t blow? You. Get the fuck out of here with your high horse. It’s not gonna happen for you.”
Julien’s face flushed. His eyes darted from me to Amir. “Nice, man. I’ve had your back since we were kids, but I guess none of that matters, huh?”
Amir shook my head gently and stroked the side of my face. “Not when you’re standing in my kitchen, openly disrespecting me in front of my girl.”
He unhooked his thumb from my teeth, pushed my jaw closed, and wiped the saliva from my bottom lip. Then he ran his hand over my hair like a lover instead of a captor.
Julien’s nostrils flared as he glared at Amir. Marco folded his arms and gritted his jaw, frowning furiously at me, like this was somehow my doing. And Amir continued treating me like he was the villain, plotting the end of the world, and I was the fuzzy little cat in his lap.
The oven timer beeped, interrupting the showdown. “I need to get that,” I murmured.
Amir bent over me, bringing his face close to mine. “What did you say?”
“The oven beeped. I have to take the lasagna from the oven.”
His eyes narrowed on me. “I don’t know if I want lasagna for dinner. Maybe you should start over.”
With a shake of his head, Julien spun around, grabbed a towel, and took the lasagna out himself. He placed it on top of the stove, gave me a chin jerk, then walked out of the kitchen. Marco let out a long groan and followed, leaving me with Amir, who released me and stalked to the oven.
I held my breath, expecting him to dump the lasagna in the trash. My heart might have broken a little if he did. This recipe was my mom’s, and I knew just how delicious it was. He didn’t throw it away. Instead, he dipped his head, inhaling the steam coming from the melted cheese and bubbling sauce, then turned around to face me again.
“You can skip cooking tomorrow. I need you somewhere else.”
“Where?”
“A lecture at Brady Hall. I want you to go take notes for me.”
My lips parted in surprise. That was unexpected. “Um…well, okay. I can do that.”
“They have to be thorough, Zadie. I need to be able to write a report on the lecture like I was there.”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “That’s no problem.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but he closed his mouth and rocked back on his heels. “You can go.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. Scrambling, I stuffed my laptop in my messenger back and hopped down from the stool, smoothing my skirt in the process. At the arch between the kitchen and front hall, I paused, bracing a hand on the molding.
“Amir?”
His eyes were already on me. “Speak.”
My tongue darted out to wet my lips. “I can take a lot. I’ll come here every day and clean and cook for you without complaint. But if you ever touch me that way in front of your friends again, I won’t come back. I’d rather face Reno than be touched in that way.” I nodded, my message conveyed, even if it was barely above a whisper. Spinning on my toes, I marched out of the house, my head held high.
Amir may have thought of me as his personal pet. And maybe I was. But the thing about pets? When even the shyest ones were mistreated, they bit back. My bark was quiet, but my bite could be wicked.
MyCaptor: Text me a pic of you at Brady Hall.
I’d only just sat down. The chairs around me in the auditorium were quickly filling. Everyone was in pairs or groups, but I was all by myself. That was fine. Since my notes needed to be meticulous, I wouldn’t have time to talk to anyone anyway.
I took a picture and sent it to Amir.
Me: I’m here. Since I’ll be taking the best notes you’ve ever seen, I might not be able to text back immediately, so you should leave me alone.
MyCaptor: Wow, you’re incredibly mean, Zadie.
Me: Is this you leaving me alone?
Someone slid past me and dropped into the only chair left in my row—the one right next to me. I stuffed my phone in my bag and opened my laptop, preparing a new document for my notes. The person leaned into me, his biceps pressing against mine.
“Hey.”
I turned my head, frowning at Deacon Forrester. He was invading my personal space. And smelled faintly of alcohol. Fortunately, he seemed to be alone, no laughing frat bros at his back. That made me wonder why he was bothering to speak to me, since he didn’t have an audience, but I couldn’t exactly ignore him since he was right beside me.
“Hi.”
His grin was wide, and seemed genuine, which only made my stomach lurch. Why would this guy be genuinely smiling at me?
“Are you in business analytics? I know you’re not in my class.”
I shook my head. “No.”
He chuckled. “Then what the hell are you doing here?”
When I got home from Amir’s last night, I’d looked up the topic of the lecture. The speaker was an expert in data mining and predictive analytics. I was an accounting major, so this wasn’t my field, but I was a stone-cold nerd, so I was interested. Not that I would be spending my free time here if I had a choice, it was just that I didn’t think it would be torture. I would never tell Amir that, though. He could go on thinking this was the worst punishment ever, and maybe he’d send me to more nerdy things instead of making me change his delicious-smelling sheets.
“I’m taking notes for a friend who couldn’t make it tonight,” I explained, even though it was none of his business and I did not like him.
He hummed and shifted in his seat, his leg pressing against mine. “You don’t like me, do you?”
I scoffed and tried to subtly tuck my legs to the side to get away from him. “Why would you think that? Was it the horrible things you said and did to Helen? Or maybe when you proclaimed either of us would do to get you off? Or what about the way you and your friends laugh at me when I walk into class?”
“Hey…” He reached for my arm, but I yanked it away. “I’m guilty of all you said, but my friends don’t laugh at you. They’re very much laughing at me.”
I shook my head, not believing him even for a second. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I have to pay attention.”
He waggled a pen in my periphery. “I do too. Maybe we can talk after?”
I faced forward instead of replying. Guys who didn’t understand “no” were making me really tired. And why were they all coming out of the woodwork? It was like they could smell the chum in the water.
For the next hour, I listened intently, tapping away on my keyboard. At times, I felt like I was being watched, but when I glanced at Deacon, he always had his eyes on the speaker. Still, awareness prickled the back of my neck, and it took all my willpower not to rush out of the lecture hall.
When Drew had watched me before, I hadn’t noticed. At least, not at first. He’d hidden in plain sight, following me on my day-to-day activities. And when I went places, he’d pop up, like we were randomly running into each other. In the beginning, I’d believed his excuses, but when it kept happening, I knew it wasn’t right.
Someone else could’ve been watching me. Besides, why would Drew be here tonight, with so many people around? Maybe I was paranoid. Maybe Deacon had made me more uneasy than I’d thought and this was all due to that.
My heart fluttered like mad as the speaker wound down and people around me started packing up their things. I closed my laptop and grabbed my messenger bag, trapped from escaping by the people beside me who were also waiting to leave.
Deacon bumped me with his shoulder. “Can I walk you back to your dorm?”
I stared at him, not really registering what he’d just asked. It didn’t really make sense. Not coming from him. Especially since I’d told him I didn’t like him. Why in the world would I allow him to walk me home?
Just as I shook my head, the people beside me started making their way down the aisle, and I followed, clutching my messenger bag in front of me. If Deacon insisted on following me, I could whack him in the head with it. It wouldn’t be as badass as the time Helen had gotten him with her skateboard, but it would do.
He stayed on my heels out of the auditorium and into the hallway, curling his fingers around my forearm. “I just want to talk, get to know each other. Don’t be such a snob. Let me walk you home.”
Suddenly, I was shoved back, and there was a body between Deacon and me.
“Not happening. You can walk your own ass home. I’ve got Zadie covered.” Amir towered over Deacon. Even from the back, I could see his simmering fury in the clenched muscles along his spine and shoulders.
Deacon turned tomato red, puffing up his chest as if he stood any chance against a crazy man like Amir. “Excuse me, I was talking to her. As far as I’ve seen, Zadie doesn’t have a keeper, so I think she should be the one to decide who gets to talk to her and walk her home.”
It occurred to me while these two wagged their dicks at each other, I could just…leave. With the way they were facing, the exit was clear, and they were too busy getting out the measuring sticks to really notice.
So I did. I turned around and walked away, taking a deep breath of cool night air when it hit my face. Proud of myself for being brave and not letting myself be controlled, I hitched my bag higher on my shoulder and started the long walk back to my dorm.
I made it three steps before my bag was slipped right off my shoulder and a band of iron wrapped around my waist.
Spice filled my nose when Amir leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I can’t even be mad, can I? My property needs clear instructions, and I didn’t say to wait. You wandered off like a lost little kitty, but don’t worry, I’m here. I won’t let that happen again.”
Anger knotted in my throat as my core flooded with heat. It was such a confusing dichotomy of feelings, I had no clue how to parse it out and wrap my head around it.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you told me to come in your place. I took notes for you. Really good notes.”
He sniffed. “Email them to me. I’ll let you know if they’re really good.”
“But…why did you tell me to come if you were going to show up anyway?”
Amir’s shadowed eyes danced over my face with something like amusement. “I don’t think I have to explain myself to you, Zadie. Do I?”
“You don’t have to do anything. We both know that.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I can make it back to my dorm on my own, you know.”
“Of course you can, but since you’re my property, I’m going to protect you. Little girls like you shouldn’t be out after dark on your own. You should know better.”
Oh yeah, anger was definitely taking over the heat between my legs. Amir being a condescending asshat cooled me right off.
Facing forward, I clamped my mouth shut. Something told me Amir wanted me to react, but I wouldn’t give it to him. I’d done what he’d told me to do, so I wasn’t giving him another drop of me.
He controlled our pace across campus, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of my hip. His silence was as loud as a shout. I wondered if mine sounded the same. There were a million words on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them down each time they came close to spilling over.
When my dorm was in sight, Amir was the one to break the silence. “Why were you sitting beside that kid?”
“He sat beside me. It wasn’t my choice.”
“I get you have a type, Zadie, but you need to move on. He’s not going to be your new boyfriend.”
I cringed at the thought of Deacon as my boyfriend. “That’s good. I don’t like anything about him.” My lip curled. “And he’s not my type. I don’t tend to have a thing for idiotic frat boys who say nasty things to me and my friend and laugh at me every time I walk by them. No thank you.”
Amir rounded on me, coming to a stop in the middle of the path. His hand shot up to grip my jaw, tipping my head back to peer down at my face in the dark.
“Tell me what he said.” He got close enough for me to smell his warm spice. “Right now, Zadie. Don’t fuck with me. What did that kid say?”
I swallowed hard, barely breathing. “It happened before you owned me. I don’t owe you that.”
“Says who?” His thumb stroked the skin beneath my chin. His eyes pounded into me with a hard stare. “Everything, Zadie. All of you is mine.”
“For how long?” I whispered.
He blinked, and his mouth parted, but no sound came out. I’d stumped him, taking him by surprise with a question that really shouldn’t have been surprising.
“Hmmm…I don’t know. I think I might like owning you.” He dragged his nose along mine. “Then again, you might annoy me sooner than later.”
My stomach sank. This couldn’t go on forever, I knew that, but he was already ready to be rid of me? Or thinking about being ready? I should have been relieved, not twitching like a wounded bug with a broken wing.
“The rest of the semester.”
“What?” I breathed.
“I own you. You’re all mine until the end of the semester. Then I let you go.”
A perfect end date to us. If my stalker hadn’t crawled back into his hole by then, I probably wouldn’t be coming back to Savage U next semester anyway. Amir didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know any of it, so long as he kept me and watched over me.
“Does anything change from how it is now? I just cook and clean and do your bidding?”
His mouth curled in the corners, but it was too devious to be called a smile. “My bidding? I like that.” He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know yet. What do you think should change? Do you want to add some duties to your list?”
“That’s up to you, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It is. I’ve got you, don’t I?” The pad of his thumb traced the stubborn bump of my chin. “I’ll think about it. For now, I want you to tell me all about the kid you were sitting beside tonight.”
He wasn’t going to let this go. My dorm was so close, but Amir’s iron grasp on me was unrelenting. I knew this was more about a point of pride for him and not because he actually cared for me. Someone had been toying with his toy, and that wouldn’t stand.
I sucked in a breath. “Deacon. He’s in a frat, the same one as Theo, Helen’s boyfriend. We have one class together, and lately, he says hi to me when I walk in. All his frat brothers laugh. I guess they think it’s funny for him to even acknowledge the presence of a girl like me, so—”
Amir jerked me so hard, my forehead hit his chest. “What the fuck does that mean?” he growled.
Cupping my forehead, I blinked away the sudden tears stinging my eyes. “I’m not—I don’t look like the girls here. I’m not the right type. I know that, and it’s okay. Those idiots think I’m a joke. But I just…well, I think they’re jokes too, so I guess we’re even.”
“You’d never laugh at anyone.”
I swiped at my eyes with the heel of my hand. “Of course I wouldn’t.”
Shaking his head, Amir took a step back from me. “It kills me.”
“What?”
“You.” The sneer he shot me was so ugly, it made me want to curl up on the sidewalk. “You fucking kill me. You have no idea.”
I rubbed the spot on my jaw he had been gripping. “I don’t know…” And I really didn’t want him to enlighten me. “Can I go inside now? I’ll email you the notes as soon as I’m in my room.”
“No.” Amir’s arm shot out, gripping my nape and pulling me into his side. “I said I’d walk you home. That’s what I’m going to do.”
So, he did. He held on to me like a possession, steering me all the way to the steps in front of my dorm. Then he backed me into the stone baluster at the base of the stairs and pinned me in with both arms on either side of me.
“If you want the truth, I wasn’t coming tonight. I was going to let you send me the notes and be done with it.”
I tipped my chin. “So, why didn’t you? You didn’t trust me to do a good job?”
“No. I knew you would. I don’t think there’s anything you’d willingly do half-assed, even if it’s something for me. I know that because I ate your lasagna for dinner last night, breakfast this morning, and dinner again tonight. And when Marco saw the empty pan in the sink, he came close to taking a swing at me.”
“What?” I pushed out a little giggle.
Amir’s somber expression didn’t budge. “You made that for me, no doubt hating me for making you do it, and it still tasted like heaven. I knew you’d take the most perfect notes anyone’s ever taken because that’s who you are. I don’t think you’re even capable of being less than your best.”
I refused to let his compliment coat me in warmth. Honestly, I wasn’t even positive it was a compliment, but it felt like it.
“So, why did you come?” I asked softly.
“Because I don’t trust you, Zadie.” He fingered one of my curls. “If I’m not watching you, how do I know you won’t be meeting up with Schiffer? How do I know you’re not gonna be fucking him the second the lecture’s over? My little pet needs supervision.”
I jerked my head away, banging my skull against the stone behind me. His baseless accusation hurt far worse, though. It was like we hadn’t spent hours talking in my dorm. Like he didn’t remember a single minute of it. It had only been four months ago.
Tsking, Amir tugged me into his chest and rubbed the back of my head.
“Need you back at my house tomorrow. Saturday night, we’re going out, so don’t make plans.” He shoved his fingers in my hair. I braced for him to yank hard, but he didn’t. He just stayed there like that, his hand buried in my hair, my head against his chest, holding me to him. “Go inside, mama.”
My bag was back on my shoulder, and Amir was gone, backing away from me while watching every breath I took with narrowed eyes. I watched him back for a few flurried heartbeats, then I turned on my heel and ran inside.
Safe.
For now at least.
Amir might not have trusted me, and the feeling was mutual. After what we shared and the way he’d turned off his emotions like a light switch, there was no going back to that stolen moment from four months ago.
Amir kissed me like no one ever had. We weren’t captor and hostage anymore. Something had shifted. Our desire had stirred up the air, our reality, the entire world, and resettled it in an entirely different way.
His hands were under my clothes, inside my bra. I shoved up his shirt. His skin was hot and smooth under my palms. I soaked him in, touching him freely, without a second thought. It felt like I wasn’t me anymore. I was Amir’s now.
And when he stood with me held flush to his body, I didn’t stop him. My feet moved with his, taking us to my bedroom. And then I was on the bed, shirt rucked up under my chin, bra cups down, his mouth latched to my nipple, as he worked on the button of my jeans.
He reared back to his knees, and in the dim light of my bedroom, his wild eyes peered down at me. Fingers hooking into the waistband of my jeans, he pulled them off in one swoop. My legs tried to press together, but Amir caught my knees, putting pressure on them to keep them apart.
“Let me see you, little mama. Show me your whole universe,” he growled like a wolf to his mate. My legs fell open, showing him. I wished I could close my eyes, but they were glued to his face. I didn’t know how to read his expression. His parted lips and deeply furrowed brow. Then he touched me with the very tip of his finger, so featherlight, I barely felt it, and still, I nearly vaulted from the bed.
His exhale had jagged edges all around. “Like silk.” His finger dragged down the center of me, pausing at my entrance. “Pretty, Zadie. So fucking pretty. Like a little flower, showing me your bloom. Wonder what you taste like.”
“You can try me,” I breathed.
His eyes flicked to mine. “No fucking way I won’t. You’re mine now.”
For now, for now, for now. We were Zadie and Amir, not captor and hostage.
For now.
